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  1. #1
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    OT: Parenting when 50+ers were kids...

    Got this from my mom (82 years old) today. She didn't write it (another internet thing being sent along) but I thought it was pretty funny and actually rather true. I heard many of these lines growing up! Got any others?

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC
    " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. "

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
    2012 Masi Evoluzione
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    Proud member of the original Club Tombay

  2. #2
    Ride Daddy Ride Jet Travis's Avatar
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    My Mom was (and still is) a champion guilt-tripper. I can still recall the dialog when Little Jet tracked mud in the house or comitted a similar infraction.

    Mom: The least you could do is say your sorry.

    Little Jet: I'm sorry.

    Mom: You're not sorry. You're just saying you're sorry.
    "Light it up, Popo." --Levi Leipheimer

  3. #3
    Dedicated Novice
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    my Dad ... a lesson in goal-setting no doubt

    "I can't make you do it ... but I can damned sight make you wish you had".

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Eat your dinner. There are children starving in China.

  5. #5
    My other car is a bike TruF's Avatar
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    Pretty funny, DG!! Hey, how's the kitty doing?
    Embrace diversity: hug a conservative.

  6. #6
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
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    My parents let me run wild like a little wolf cub.

  7. #7
    My other car is a bike TruF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by solveg View Post
    My parents let me run wild like a little wolf cub.
    Hi solveg,
    My sisters and I were feral children, too! I remember walking to school by myself in kindergarten. Taking public transportation all over San Francisco with no supervision whatsoever. There were no parents driving us around from activity to activity. We were on our own, and we figured it out. I read someplace that childhood obesity may in part be related to school busing. We all went to school in our neighborhoods and everyone walked because we could.
    Embrace diversity: hug a conservative.

  8. #8
    Senior Member ollo_ollo's Avatar
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    Once, at age 6, my Cousin Dale & I were left in the care of my batchelor uncle. After a few hours, he got tired of our mischief & fighting, so he locked us in a closet until our moms came to pick us up. After that we were always on our best behaviour around Uncle Willard!
    visit my homebuilding blog: www.monoplanar.blogspot.com

  9. #9
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TruF View Post


    Pretty funny, DG!! Hey, how's the kitty doing?
    She holds daily staff meetings now. I got a quick shot just before she launched into a rant about how come the litter box isn't being cleaned enough?

    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
    2012 Masi Evoluzione
    2009 Specialized Globe Vienna 2

    Proud member of the original Club Tombay

  10. #10
    My other car is a bike TruF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digital Gee View Post
    She holds daily staff meetings now. I got a quick shot just before she launched into a rant about how come the litter box isn't being cleaned enough?

    She looks really, really happy, DG! She has that smug self-satisfied look of a cat who knows she is the queen of her castle. That means she loves her castle and you, her servant! That's about as close to true love a cat can get.

    Well done, you!
    Embrace diversity: hug a conservative.

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    "You must wait one hour before going in the water."


    Paul

  12. #12
    Senior Member Ranger63's Avatar
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    Parenting when we were kids

    I'll forever be greatfull to my mom for her wonderfull sense of humor and her skill at jitterbugging.
    The former which allowed me to see humor in the darkest of places(which came in handy during the two tours in country) and laugh at myself,the latter which allowed me a marvelous way to meet girls at the friday and saturday night dances.
    I'll forever be gratefull to my dad for his 'always ask if you can really afford it before you pull out the check book' approach to spending and his enrolling me (as a 12 year old)in Fr. Kellihers golden gloves boxing (which immensely aided me AFTER the dances with all those girls whos boyfriends had stood in corners vowing my demise)
    I'll forever remember (we always do remember the painfull lessons)to save my comments till I'm by myself
    thanks to a lifelong friend of my dads who also happened to be the vice principal at South Park HS the day,in a (I thought anyway)unheard whisper to a (I think she was teaching when God went to school)algebra teacher who'd whacked my knuckles. Yes, I caught a cuff from the VPs huge hand and as soon as my dad got to the school I got another...the only time my dad ever hit me.
    Anyone else here remember hanging out with (male) friends on a corner or near the malt shop and toning down the language when folks approached?

  13. #13
    stringbreaker stringbreaker's Avatar
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    My mother was a real piece of work too. She was good at the guilt but mostly she was very cool. She chose her battles and won them all, a lot of the little stuff she didn't worry about. I only remember one time when she slapped me across the face. (I was 14) what a mouth I had and she let me have it. We always laughed about that later but it was a painful lesson at the time. In the Summer we used to sit on the back porch before my older sister got up and have coffee and talk . My coffee was about an inch of coffee in the cup and the rest was cream and sugar but I think that fueled my fondness for coffee. Brings back a lot of good memories of blackberry picking in the early morning before the Ohio heat and humidity kicked in and then keeping the fire going outside under the big tub when she would can green beans in the fall. I only wish she were still alive today. She went home to be with the Lord in 2001. Man I miss her
    (Life is too short to play crappy guitars) 2006 Raleigh Cadent 3.0, 1977 Schwinn Volare, 2010 Windsor tourist. ( I didn't fall , I attacked the floor)

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