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  1. #1
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    Funny comments heard while biking

    Riding my EZ Sport past a group of freindly High Schoolers last week...

    "Hey, look at that hot bike. It's even got cupholders."



    Riding the same bike through a nearby neighbor hood yesterday and an elderly gentleman
    came tearing out his front door, bounded down the front steps giving me the
    thumbs up and shouting ...

    "Nice rig, way to go, (naughty word) those Oil Companies."

  2. #2
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    2003 and the first time the Tandem had done the big off road that I used to do. Caught up with a group of riders that were struggling up a hill and Stuart, the pilot, started talking to the tailender. They got onto the diffence between full suspension and hardtail bikes as this rider was on a brand new Wally mart type-or just a bit better- Full suspension. Then the other rider said "Did you see those fools on the Tandem? They don't stand a chance and did you see the old git on the back- must be 50 if he's a day"

    I then piped up that I was 55 and put the power in to get Stuart to get into "GO" mode. I don't know if he fell off his bike through embarrassment- Or the Side draft we made as we passed him.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  3. #3
    Banned. The Weak Link's Avatar
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    Shocks, pegs, lucky! Have you ever taken that off any sweet jumps?

  4. #4
    tsl
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    Plays in traffic tsl's Avatar
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    "I'd ride with you, but where would I put my ***?"--Bike cop's reply when we asked him to join our group ride tonight. We even promised to stay in his jurisdiction.
    My two favorite things in life are libraries and bicycles. They both move people forward without wasting anything.
    The perfect day: Riding a bike to the library.—Peter Golkin


    Lucky for me, I work at a library and bike to work.

  5. #5
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    Heard from motorcyclists on a number of occasions, "you're riding (fill in the blank) miles today?!" We tend to stop at a lot of the same places they do.

  6. #6
    Lincoln, CA Mojo Slim's Avatar
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    It was the last day of AIDS/LifeCycle a couple of weeks ago. Several riders had stopped at a Starbuck's for a break. I sat down on a curb next to a dog and his master. "Where you guys going?" he queried.

    "To Los Angeles". I replied. "We started in Ventura."

    "Hey Sweetie, these guys are riding all the way to Los Angeles!" he yelled to his wife. (It was about 40 more miles.)

    "Well, actually," I added, "We started in San Francisco."
    Truth is stranger than reality.
    '96 Giant ATX 760 MTB
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    '05 Giant OCR Llimited Carbon Fiber + upgrades

  7. #7
    Senior Member Terrierman's Avatar
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    From a little old lady to me as I was leaving the general store in January, during what turned out to be a major ice storm: "Oh you poor thing. Did you lose your license?"
    It's all downhill from here. Except the parts that are uphill.

  8. #8
    Fred E Fenders fthomas's Avatar
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    Stopped while waiting at a broken traffic light the police officer directing traffic yelled: "Hey young man, you can go." I didn't respond as he surely wasn't talking to me and he then yelled: "Hey Kid, you on the bike. Get going."

    Helmets cover gray balding heads really well.
    F Thomas

    "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
    Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

  9. #9
    Wheezing Geezer Bud Bent's Avatar
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    While randonneuring, when we make a stop at a small store in the middle of nowhere, someone always seems to ask how many miles we're riding, and is shocked when we answer, "125".

    With gas prices going crazy, a poster in another forum said he wants to get a sticker for his bike that says, "Don't honk, you'll be on one of these soon." I think that would make an excellent sign for the back of my 'bent seat.
    Last edited by Bud Bent; 06-24-08 at 03:55 PM.
    Bud
    * 2009 RANS XStream
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    My Blog - uneasy-rider.com

    They told me it's ok to post mileage over in the commuting forum, so you'll probably find me there these days.

  10. #10
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    On todays ride I was wearing one of my neon green jerseys. Coming into a small town there was a group of teenage girls milling about. Seeing me, one of them yelled "nice shirt".

    Eat your hearts out fellas.

  11. #11
    Roadkill byte_speed's Avatar
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    Guy in old pickup pulls up next to me & rolls down passenger side window. I'm wondering what he is gonna throw, but instead, he sticks out a pack of cigarettes & yells "Want a smoke?" I shook my head no, he gave a big grin & drove off. Unusual to say the least.

  12. #12
    Senior Member one_beatnik's Avatar
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    Going home from work the other night I was wearing my hi-viz jersey when this car started to pull out of the alley. It stopped and I heard someone in the car yell, "That's a lot of yellow!" I yelled back, "Hey, you saw me!"

  13. #13
    Senior Member DanteB's Avatar
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    I had just gone over a short steep section of road, .3 mile 22-24%. On the way down the other side a female rider stopped me to ask about the steep section. I told her I had just climbed it, it was a 22-24% climb but she would be going down that section. She then asked if it was going to be a 22-24% downhill for her.
    Make mine a double!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by DanteB View Post
    I had just gone over a short steep section of road, .3 mile 22-24%. On the way down the other side a female rider stopped me to ask about the steep section. I told her I had just climbed it, it was a 22-24% climb but she would be going down that section. She then asked if it was going to be a 22-24% downhill for her.

    On her way to a "Jay Walking Competion" on the Tonight show perhaps?

  15. #15
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mojo Slim View Post
    It was the last day of AIDS/LifeCycle a couple of weeks ago. Several riders had stopped at a Starbuck's for a break. I sat down on a curb next to a dog and his master. "Where you guys going?" he queried.

    "To Los Angeles". I replied. "We started in Ventura."

    "Hey Sweetie, these guys are riding all the way to Los Angeles!" he yelled to his wife. (It was about 40 more miles.)

    "Well, actually," I added, "We started in San Francisco."
    Almost the same. On the 100 miler offroad that I do in one day (Or used to) We started at Eastbourne- my local Town and rode to Winchester. This ride is done as an organised 3 day event aswell and we had got about 40 miles into the ride. Going up a stiff climb and we had a group of lads catch us up.

    "Were Doing the Southdowns Way" said one

    So are we.

    "Where did you start"

    Eastbourne

    "No-I meant this morning"

    Eastbourne.

    " We are doing it in 3 days- Where are you staying tonight?"

    Winchester.

    At this- The lads lost all energy and fell away.

    Couple of minutes later and the group leader rode up and asked if we were doing it in one day.

    Yep.

    At this She thanked us and burst out laughing. These 3 lads would not believe that a mere mortal could do this ride in one day and she had come in for some stick the night before. She could now prove that there were people out there fitter and more stupid than these lads.

    And this ride was done before the organised 1 day event was dreamt of and we were doing it unassisted.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  16. #16
    Senior Member Catweazle's Avatar
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    Funniest comment I've come across was 'heard' on this forum. I can't recall where I saw it, but it was a comment post by a recumbent rider who'd had somebody drive past and yell out:

    "See! That's what happens when you don't read the instructions!"

    Seriously funny comment, that'n





    Best I've had thrown at me was in a little hamlet where I'd taken a wee detour to lunch under some trees by a creek. I was heading back to the main road along a narrow, unsealed back street there, and had a car coming up behind me delayed for a wee instant until I had chance to pull over a bit and let him past. I wasn't in a hurry - just bouncing along amidst potholes - and he prolly shouldn't have been either. Nevertheless, he was annoyed, and whilst he was going past me he shouted out of the window:

    "Get on the footpath you ******* clown!"


    There wasn't a footpath in the entire township!

  17. #17
    Streetfire HopedaleHills's Avatar
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    Riding my BMC on a MUP waiting to cross a main road when two young 30-somethings pull up beside me on Trek hybrids.

    Wife (or GF): "What kind of bike is that"
    Husband: "I don't know, looks like a Wal Mart bike"
    Tim
    Singing Do Wah Ditty, Ditty Dum Ditty Do

  18. #18
    Ride Daddy Ride Jet Travis's Avatar
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    Farmer in the hills of Soutwest Viginia: "You *** a cell phone?"

    Me: "Yes sir."

    Farmer: "Well it won't work up here."
    "Light it up, Popo." --Levi Leipheimer

  19. #19
    Senior Member ollo_ollo's Avatar
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    I've heard this one so many times I have a stock answer now.

    Motorist/Cop/Motorcycle rider: Hey, you were doing ____ (fill in the blank) back there. Me: Is that good or bad? Next question is usually "How old are you?"
    visit my homebuilding blog: www.monoplanar.blogspot.com

  20. #20
    steel lover
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    Best I've heard of was posted on here some time ago.

    Guy rides his kid to school on a tandem, then continues to work daily. Someone in a car pulls up and asks why he's riding a bike built for two all by himself. His reply was "why are you driving a vehicle built for 4 all by yourself?"

    Never anything funny yelled at me. As a group we get a lot of people slowing down when they see the long blonde hair from under the helmets... get up beside, and realize that it's two guys in the group, and speed off.

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    In a "you-had-to-be-there" vein: I was riding in northern Vermont and I came off a side road onto a main road and slowed down to ask an older fellow parked by the side of the road in a pickup truck, "Is this the right road to Richford?"
    "Yup," he says.
    Then he waits just a second or two, the timing was impeccable, and adds with a twinkle in his eye, "And it's all uphill."
    I nearly fell off my bike laughing. The road was obviously flat as it rolled along a meandering river, but he knew that was probably the last thing I would want to hear. Like I said, you had to be there.

  22. #22
    Wheres my snuggie? taxi777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mojo Slim View Post
    It was the last day of AIDS/LifeCycle a couple of weeks ago. Several riders had stopped at a Starbuck's for a break. I sat down on a curb next to a dog and his master. "Where you guys going?" he queried.

    "To Los Angeles". I replied. "We started in Ventura."

    "Hey Sweetie, these guys are riding all the way to Los Angeles!" he yelled to his wife. (It was about 40 more miles.)

    "Well, actually," I added, "We started in San Francisco."
    Zinger! Then you should have said to him " I only stopped for coffee!"

  23. #23
    Senior Member Timtruro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DanteB View Post
    I had just gone over a short steep section of road, .3 mile 22-24%. On the way down the other side a female rider stopped me to ask about the steep section. I told her I had just climbed it, it was a 22-24% climb but she would be going down that section. She then asked if it was going to be a 22-24% downhill for her.
    NATURAL BLONDE
    "If there are no cigars in heaven, I shall not go." -Mark Twain

    '12 Salsa Casseroll (Pepé)
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