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  1. #1
    Around now and then DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Stereotyping, Expectations of us "older" folks

    Stereotyping, Expectations of us "older" folks

    RANT:

    My wife attends an aquaerobics class sponsored by our rec dept. Yesterday, they decided to change it to a "Silver Sneakers" class. Silver Sneakers is a program supposedly designed to get the "elderly" amongst us to do exercise. OK, however, everyone in this class already WAS doing exercise.

    So, they bring in an "expert" from Arizona to teach the class. All current instructors are standing around taking notes as if every uttered word is from God.

    Immediately there are words like "Dearie" and "Sweetie" and, "You know, this is good for your activities of daily living" kinds of stuff. They played FRANK SINATRA, for crying out loud! "We wouldn't want to overdo things, would we now" - and all the rest of the stuff.

    Ruined a perfectly great class, turning it into, well, I can't wite it here. Wife won't be going back. Amazingly, some of the ladies liked it!

    ADDITIONAL RANT:

    Med Assistants, MD's, etc., are now calling her "Dearie" and "Sweeetie." The MD she visited recently chided her about "not telling him about a previous toe operation," as if she was a dolt and he was talking to his elderly senile mother, when she had typed out a complete history, WITH THE TOE OPERATION LISTED, and the MD simply didn't read her chart, as he was supposed to do. He was the DOLT!

    END OF RANT

    More and more this is happening as one gets older.

    It is one of the reasons I sometimes react negatively to us calling ourselves "old farts" etc., as I believe it reinforces in younger folk's minds that this is the accepted protocol. But, what the heck - you can't (and shouldn't) control someone else's language.

    I think it really starts happening about age 68.

    End of dicsussion. Nothing really to say, as it won't stop, and somehow we need to learn to live with it, unless someone has a better suggestion.

    (On the bright side, I had to argue with the Burger King clerk today that I really qualified for a "senior discount.")
    Last edited by DnvrFox; 06-28-08 at 05:44 AM.
    DnvrFox - still bicycling, swimming, walking and weight lifting at 74yo is participating a bit in BFN 50+.

  2. #2
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    I have two reactions from people that I come in contact with. One is that I can't be as old as that- normally from people over 40- And the other is that I should not be doing that at my age- from people around 20.

    And at work- If any job needs doing- Doug will do it- whether it is shiftinge a couple of tons of stock that no-one else can be bothered to do (Which I say- You will do it- your younger) or if they want a job done properly- Then I seem to get it.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  3. #3
    Senior Member PirateJim's Avatar
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    Two thoughts came to mind reading your perfectly good rant :-).

    1) I hope your wife told the folks at the rec department to be sure to advertise if they ever decide to start up the aquaerobics class again because she really liked it before it was canceled for this new format that she won't be returning to partake of again.

    2) Similarly, I hope she pointed out to the Doc that the information was there for him to read if he was interested.

    Sadly, there are a number (fairly large I believe) of older folks who like the "sweetie" and coddling treatment. This may well be a fading thing of past generations, but I have my doubts. Thinking back (not that long) my mother who passed in 2000 would lap that sort of treatment up. I would like to hope and believe that "younger" people adopt that tone because they are doing their best to be nice to the geezers. If enough people would turn around and say "Who the H*** are you sweetie'ing?!" it would probably come to an end, though it wouldn't do much to put the "crotchety old coot" image to rest. Can't win?
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  4. #4
    Around now and then DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PirateJim View Post
    Two thoughts came to mind reading your perfectly good rant :-).

    1) I hope your wife told the folks at the rec department to be sure to advertise if they ever decide to start up the aquaerobics class again because she really liked it before it was canceled for this new format that she won't be returning to partake of again.

    2) Similarly, I hope she pointed out to the Doc that the information was there for him to read if he was interested.

    [/COLOR]
    The rec dept is already in receipt of an email from me regarding MY last experience (and it WILL be my last) with Silver Sneakers - of which I posted and ranted here about also.

    I Failed Geezer Exercise Class

    Wife has some desire to be hired by rec dept as a check-in clerk at some time, so will likely keep her thoughts to herself. However, I beleive I have already blown that opportunity for her by my previous missive. They know we are married.

    And, yes, the MD was informed of his errant ways.
    Last edited by DnvrFox; 06-28-08 at 05:32 AM.
    DnvrFox - still bicycling, swimming, walking and weight lifting at 74yo is participating a bit in BFN 50+.

  5. #5
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    Nice rant. Lots of good points made quite well.

    I stay away from all senior citizen activities for those reasons and many more.

    Frank Sinatra...give me a break!

  6. #6
    Banned. The Weak Link's Avatar
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    My personal name policies:

    -- never call someone by their first name unless they give me permission to.
    -- only use terms like "sweetie" or "dearie" on heavily sedated patients.

    I HATE it when medical personnel address people of respect like that.

  7. #7
    rck
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    Senior Member rck's Avatar
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    Call me irresponsible but I like Sinatra's music.

  8. #8
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    I live in this (they say) typical mid-size town which has many, many exercise/fitness clubs.
    My wife goes to some of them. There are many choices. A club that in any way offends its customers will not make it for long. Trouble is there are many opinions on this subject.
    I do not like terms like Sweetie either. Some waitresses think it is cute. They act surprised if I next address them also with Sweetie. That typically stops them.
    A sarcastic Darling or Honey will do that also.

  9. #9
    Banned wagathon's Avatar
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    Not to stereotype but, near as I can tell, ooooold folks do seem to get stupider as they get older (just a general observation and not a description of anyone in particular). I do not think oldsters get dumber in a linear manner like 10% dumber at 60 than they were at 55, etc.

    I think it's more like ... dumb pretty much comes on quick. For example, if you talking about some dude that is over 75, my first instinct is to not bother investing in any serious listening to anything they have to say, except out of simple politeness, or perhaps some humorous recollecton from the past, or facts from the past--like a living history lesson--unalloyed by their soured, hypocritical, misinformed, failed, petulant, soporofic, majuscular philosophy of life/politics/economics/ethics/etc.--writ large on a nearsighted hammerheaded brain ... Oh wait ... that sort of applies to everyone! Never mind.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    I'm laughing at you, Denver.

    Those are exactly the kinds of experiences that I was reacting to when I originally opposed starting 50+. Fortunately, it hasn't happened here.

    Incidentally, recently on a trip to the doctor I was given a form to fill out (Imagine that.). One of the questions was by what name I would prefer to be called. I responded Mr. Stuhlsatz. I don't know why they bothered to ask because everybody wants to call me by my first name. That's OK with me as long as the doctor doesn't mind being called "boy". Nick names like "hon" are completely out of the question with me.

    Incidentally, the kids on my school bus don't have any trouble with Mr Stuhlsatz and many even remember it for a year or so after seeing me last. If they have trouble with "Mr Stuhlsatz" they're welcome to ue my nick name, "Your Magesty". I don't like having a 13 year old address me by my first name.

  11. #11
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
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    This is one subject that will turn me into a flaming ******* in public. I will drop my groceries on the belt and walk out. I will get up from the restaurant table and walk out. I will turn my back on an offending salesman and loudly inquire if there is anyone else who wants to take my business. At work I will ask "can you do my job because its seconds away from being yours". I will and have filed age discrimination complaints with human resources at work.

    Finally I will respond with lllll ll.

    I haven't gotten stupider as I get older.................I've turned into some peoples worst nightmare.

    And its fun.

  12. #12
    Third World Layabout crtreedude's Avatar
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    Well, my solution for young whippersnappers is to shake their hand and smile, especially as they drop to their knees in pain from having the bones in their hands rearranged by someone who used to rock climb...

    As per the other topics, nothing says you have to get weaker as you get older. And nothing says I have to grow up either!

  13. #13
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
    It is one of the reasons I sometimes react negatively to us calling ourselves "old farts" etc.,
    I agree that there can be no positive association with that the term "old fart". It's a pretty disgusting euphemism.
    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

    Quote Originally Posted by Bjforrestal View Post
    I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.

  14. #14
    Chi-Chi Monger *WildHare*'s Avatar
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    First reaction...LOL

    Heck, I hadn't been a "regular" around her since 2001 when I joined and when I started coming back around here one of the first posters I recognized was DnvrFox

    Don't let anyone...ever...put you in a category. Period. Labels are for products, not people.

    Keep on rockin' DnvrFox!!! Sinatra is all fine and dandy but the minute someone thinks "this will be nice for the old folks" you damn well better run for the exits...if you wanted to be treated as if in a geriatric ward then I'd expect it would be time for one.
    When it's good it's really good...And when it's bad I go to pieces - David Bowie

  15. #15
    Around now and then DnvrFox's Avatar
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    I like Sinatra too - BUT NOT FOR AN AQUAEROBICS CLASS!
    DnvrFox - still bicycling, swimming, walking and weight lifting at 74yo is participating a bit in BFN 50+.

  16. #16
    just keep riding BluesDawg's Avatar
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    Htfu...

    For me it was when the cute check out girls started calling me "sir". You just have to let it roll through you.
    Last edited by BluesDawg; 06-27-08 at 04:54 PM.
    The more you ride your bike, the less your ass will hurt.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Wildwood's Avatar
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    Growing old gracefully ain't for sissies.
    Keep givin' em hell.
    DnvrFox, in this thread you're almost sounding like a less acerbic version of P-Cad.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Wildwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BluesDawg View Post
    Htfu... You just have to let it roll through you.
    +1

  19. #19
    Banned wagathon's Avatar
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    Getting old is like riding a bicycle--you don't want to fall down.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
    I like Sinatra too - BUT NOT FOR AN AQUAEROBICS CLASS!
    Does that mean you got one a them new 45 players???
    (Sorry I couldn't resist a great straight line like that...)

    Reminds me ,I need to put some Sinatra 33 1/3's on MP3..If you want a copy let me know
    Had a good run on the Platte today...
    Bud

  21. #21
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    You can always call doctor: sonny or girlie . . . or girlie man?
    Of course you can tell 'em: 'Show some respect for your elders!'

  22. #22
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zonatandem View Post
    You can always call doctor: sonny or girlie . . . or girlie man?
    Of course you can tell 'em: 'Show some respect for your elders!'
    Timing is part of it. You want to be thinking about what he's doing when you call your doctor "sonny".

  23. #23
    Senior Member one_beatnik's Avatar
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    Call me irresponsible but I like Sinatra's music
    Me too, but for aquarerobics "class" it should have been Steppenwolf or at least Chuck Berry...something to actually get the heart going.
    Last edited by one_beatnik; 06-27-08 at 09:30 PM. Reason: clarification

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by rck View Post
    Call me irresponsible but I like Sinatra's music.
    My remark wasn't meant as a put down to Sinatra's music, it was meant to put down the idea that people our age like his music because we're old. I have all the respect in the world for him.

    But just because I'm 65 doesn't mean I've started liking the same music my parents and grandparents listened to.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Kurt Erlenbach's Avatar
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    D fox - You eat at Burger King?

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