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  1. #1
    FRUGAL GERMAN pop's's Avatar
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    Married to a Witch

    When I screw up I don't try and hide it I let everyone know. My daughter made me some tie die shorts a few years ago and I like them, my wife of 46 yrs dosen't.

    If I wear them, she tells me not to wear them outside. Well I went bird hunting with my sons and grandaughter, came home took a shower and put on my tie die shorts. I got the usual comment, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WEAR THOSE OUTSIDE ARE YOU! I said no, and went to bed. I got up yesterday morning at 5:30 to go on my usual ride, and put on the tie die shorts (wifie is still asleep). I get my new bike out, put my foot on the pedel and push off bringing my leg over the seat. The only problem was that my right pocket hooked on the saddle and I got hung up bringing my leg over and lost my balance, fell and wound up in the flower bed in the yard. I banged my knee and layed there for several minuites to see if any thing was broken, got up and rode my 5 miles. I put a scratch on the handle bar of my new bike. CRAP I then went to work and found out my knee was hurting like all H_ _ l, I called my wife and she brought me the knee brace, and asked what happened. I told her and told her she made it happen because she is a witch. She told me if she was a witch I would have fallen off 10 feet farther in the cactus bush. I have been married to this beautiful ladie for 46 years and love her to deathbut some times I wonder when she wiggles her nose.

    Pop's

  2. #2
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    Of course, we all want to see pix of these shorts.

    Coincidentally, my wife also is a witch. One day we were driving in the car and she told me she was a witch and could do magic. I expressed my skepticism, so she leaned over and whispered in my ear. Sure enough, I turned into a motel.

  3. #3
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    Once I handed my wife a broom and told her to go for a ride.
    That did not end well for your truly.

  4. #4
    Steel Rider
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  5. #5
    Don't mince words Red Rider's Avatar
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    ^^^^^

    Thank you.
    When my feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh, *****, she's awake!"

    Visit my blog.

  6. #6
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    We have a term over here--"She who must be obeyed" from a TV series called "Rumpole of the Bailey"

    Sounds as though you know who she is.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  7. #7
    There's a biking season? yohannrjm's Avatar
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    Actually 'She who must be obeyed' came from the much older 'She', a book by H. Rider Haggard. Quite a good story, if I recall correctly.

    Thanks for the apostrophe link; I'll be using it.

  8. #8
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    Actually, all women have secret powers. I ought to know as I grew
    up in a house with three women, then married and had three daughters.

  9. #9
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    HI I feel your pain

    HI,
    My wifes favorite comment is thats okay, you 'll learn that the woman is always right, now I ve been married for nearly 38 years to this woman, and she knows when I am about to screw up and be a dumb ars, but she lets me step in it and then smiles a little smirk, no comments the smirk says it all.
    Them WOmen are all withches,,,
    SO I don't cross them, I may wear the pants she just picks them out.
    Doug

  10. #10
    Don't mince words Red Rider's Avatar
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    Don't you guys know that a man always has the last word in an argument with his wife or S.O.?






    Yes, dear.

    When my feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh, *****, she's awake!"

    Visit my blog.

  11. #11
    cycling fanatic Ken Brown's Avatar
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    My wife -
    Attached Images Attached Images

  12. #12
    FRUGAL GERMAN pop's's Avatar
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    witch

    Hey fellers I am amazed at the replies. I guess we have all been there. I will see if I can get a picture of the shorts, some one wanted to see them. I think that I will be up riding again tomorrow, if my knee dosen't hurt. I also told her that her Christmas present was coming from Cabelas. The last two years she has gotten a beautiful jacket and a snuggle wrap from there. She asked what I was getting her? I told her a .300 winchester mag. with a scope. She told me I had enought guns, and I said that she had enough shoes. I took me two weeks to see out of my eyes. Just kidding. Like I said she has kept me around to keep me miserable. It has been a great miserable 46 years, I think I am going to sign up for 46 more. Don't tell her is said so.

    Pop's

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by leob1 View Post
    Once I handed my wife a broom and told her to go for a ride.
    That did not end well for your truly.

  14. #14
    Steel Rider
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    Quote Originally Posted by yohannrjm View Post
    Actually 'She who must be obeyed' came from the much older 'She', a book by H. Rider Haggard. Quite a good story, if I recall correctly.

    Thanks for the apostrophe link; I'll be using it.

    Unfortunately, once you learn how to use apostrophes correctly (as I did within the past year!), their misuses tend to leap off the page/screen.

  15. #15
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    Ive got an idea. How bout if we dont put in any apostrophes in the text. Instead, we could supply the reader with an ample supply of apostrophes at the bottom of the post to use as he/she sees fit. It would speed up my slow typing, thats for sure. Im a terrible typist. Im thinking this could be done with all punctuation at some point.


    ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' ' '

  16. #16
    Senior Member Spokes man's Avatar
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    Hi-Larious stuff . . .

    I agree, a pic of the tie-dyed shorts is mandatory . . .

    Hmmm . . . I wonder if PI makes a pair of Ultrasensor shorts in a tie-dyed lycra . . .
    2008 Specialized Roubaix Elite Compact
    1982 Specialized Sequoia

  17. #17
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Cone Wrench;7392635]Of course, we all want to see pix of these shorts.

    Coincidentally, my wife also is a witch. One day we were driving in the car and she told me she was a witch and could do magic. I expressed my skepticism, so she leaned over and whispered in my ear. Sure enough, I turned into a motel.[/QUOTE]

    +1

  18. #18
    Senior Member ilmooz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rocoach View Post
    Unfortunately, once you learn how to use apostrophes correctly (as I did within the past year!) ----> , <---- their misuses tend to leap off the page/screen.
    Same for commas.

  19. #19
    Senior Member badmother's Avatar
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    Oh dear. Got the feeling I am going to vote with your wife..

    Pix plse!

  20. #20
    Senior Member jiminos's Avatar
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    i suppose people could spend their time picking apart punctuation and spelling.... or realizing that they get the writer's point and move on..... are you here to correct and edit or to participate in the forum? dang.

    be well,

    jim
    Be in this moment.
    Do not seek the truth. Accept it.

  21. #21
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    Just leave the shorts off!

  22. #22
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    And here I thought my wife dressing up as a witch, all those years ago for Halloween was a gag.

    smile,
    fat biker

  23. #23
    Fred at large
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    Quote Originally Posted by jiminos View Post
    i suppose people could spend their time picking apart punctuation and spelling.... or realizing that they get the writer's point and move on..... are you here to correct and edit or to participate in the forum? dang.

    be well,

    jim
    Now, exactly how much fun would that be?

    I'm with the "DON'T post pics of the shorts" voting party. My eyes just can't take that sort of thing anymore. Not like when I was younger.

  24. #24
    FRUGAL GERMAN pop's's Avatar
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    Well here it is just the shorts, not me in them as well as pictures of my new ride. Sorry ladies my wife would not take a picture of me in them, your loss her gain??

    Pop's
    Attached Images Attached Images

  25. #25
    Senior Member ?? Beverly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pop's View Post
    Well here it is just the shorts, not me in them as well as pictures of my new ride. Sorry ladies my wife would not take a picture of me in them, your loss her gain??

    Pop's
    Your daughter did a great job on the shorts
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