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Old 09-03-08, 09:42 PM   #1
Louis
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50+ers and Hugs

Don't get me wrong...I love hugs but I am curious, when did all this hugging business start? Almost all my life no one hugged each other unless it was mothers hugging small children. Women sometimes hugged each other under certain circumstances. Men (gasp) never hugged each other lest they be arrested by the homophobe police. Men only hugged women if they were married to them or in a relationship with them.

Back in the 60's we had something like this going on briefly, but it was limited mostly to strung out hippies. The general public was way too uptight to ever hug another person and sneered at anyone who did.

Nowadays you see professional athletes hugging, politicians hugging, same sex/opposite sex, doesn't matter. My friends all hug each other, including me, and I'm lovin' it.


Your comments? And uh...
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Old 09-03-08, 09:58 PM   #2
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Keep away from me! I sometimes hug members of my family and that is pretty much it. As my family consists of my wife and 5 daughters, I honestly cannot remember having hugged a man in my entire life. Nor a non-family member woman.

When I was young, my grandmother used to complain that I didn't hug her.

Just not a hugger, I guess.
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Old 09-03-08, 10:22 PM   #3
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Hugging is pretty much regional I think. It is also a new evangelical movement. Men who are good friends and evangelical and secure in their masculinity may and often do hug both other men and women. People we see in manly sports like football and basketball, evangelical or not, and even in the Olympics seem to feel confident with hugging and not becoming romantically involved. I have even seen boxers and extreme fighters hug after a fight. It is no big thing. My son is 6’1” and is now serving in Iraq, for the second time. I am more than proud to hug him even in public.

However the new hug between men seems to be holding on to each other’s right hand as you bump your shoulders into each other. That seems to be less regional and practiced by more people evangelical or not. Just an observation
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Old 09-03-08, 11:10 PM   #4
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Hugging has been pretty much normal activity as long as I can remember. People around here do a lot of hugging. I'll often greet a friend I haven't seen for a while with a hug. It's just a friendly thing to do.

Mostly I prefer to hug ladies, but if something really important happens, like Georgia clenching an SEC East championship by beating Auburn, I'll give a big ol' hug to anyone around.
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Old 09-03-08, 11:28 PM   #5
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Hugging has been pretty much normal activity as long as I can remember. People around here do a lot of hugging. I'll often greet a friend I haven't seen for a while with a hug. It's just a friendly thing to do.

Mostly I prefer to hug ladies, but if something really important happens, like Georgia clenching an SEC East championship by beating Auburn, I'll give a big ol' hug to anyone around.
I agree it is cultural I think. It is common practice among the people I know whatever the gender.
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Old 09-05-08, 09:41 AM   #6
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hugs

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I agree it is cultural I think. It is common practice among the people I know whatever the gender.

I think it's even more than that (cultural). I think it has to do with families. Some families hug, some don't. I (raised as a non-hugger) married into a family of huggers. Talk about stressful!

Interesting topic, but don't we need to discuss something of greater importance ... like pie?
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Old 09-05-08, 09:49 AM   #7
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Huggers, like hand shakers, have a tendency to want to demonstrate a certain level of strength. I'm with Tom...........step away from the hug..........I've got a bad L4/L5.
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Old 09-05-08, 10:17 AM   #8
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I object to the proselytizing.

Huggers seem to have this thing about shameing others into their cult. I prefer to reserve my hugs for people with whom I'm genuinely close - mostly immediate family.

I think that over use of such token of affection, like hugging, renders them meaningless. If you get a voluntary hug from me you can rest assured that it came from my heart.
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Old 09-05-08, 10:51 AM   #9
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Hugging is God given....therefore good!

I'm a hugger.....it validates us as human beings. It comforts, it congratulates, it's intimacy without confusing sexual orientation or preference. I think that those who cannot/will not hug get a bad rap as being homophobic or lacking in humanity somehow. No one should be shamed into something they are not comfortable with. Those folks just need more space..........and a big hug!
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Old 09-05-08, 11:00 AM   #10
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Hugging is God given....therefore good!

I'm a hugger.....it validates us as human beings. It comforts, it congratulates, it's intimacy without confusing sexual orientation or preference. I think that those who cannot/will not hug get a bad rap as being homophobic or lacking in humanity somehow. No one should be shamed into something they are not comfortable with. Those folks just need more space..........and a big hug!
That's my problem..............I don't want a hug................so somebody's going to hug me untill feel different about it????????????????????????????
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Old 09-05-08, 11:29 AM   #11
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I hug back. That is, I rarely start the hug, but will respond in kind. I believe it is cultural in nature (which includes the influence of one's family), and that culture shifts and changes. Information is one of the key elements in any cultural change. And in today's world we get instant information. Consider that in the 19th Century it would be close to three months before you might learn that those in the royal court were now greeting each other with a hug. Today this information is instantly available.

What I find interesting is the number of kisses I get with hugs and when the relationships shift enough to move into the realm. I'm also seeing more men kissing other men.... not in the romantic vein, but in the European "on the side of the cheek" kind of thing.
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Old 09-05-08, 12:00 PM   #12
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That's my problem..............I don't want a hug................so somebody's going to hug me untill feel different about it????????????????????????????
Of course not......hugs are freely given if wanted.........to force a hug on someone would be contrary to the whole "Philosophy of Hugging"!
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Old 09-05-08, 12:10 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis View Post
Don't get me wrong...I love hugs but I am curious, when did all this hugging business start? Almost all my life no one hugged each other unless it was mothers hugging small children. Women sometimes hugged each other under certain circumstances. Men (gasp) never hugged each other lest they be arrested by the homophobe police. Men only hugged women if they were married to them or in a relationship with them.

Back in the 60's we had something like this going on briefly, but it was limited mostly to strung out hippies. The general public was way too uptight to ever hug another person and sneered at anyone who did.

Nowadays you see professional athletes hugging, politicians hugging, same sex/opposite sex, doesn't matter. My friends all hug each other, including me, and I'm lovin' it.


Your comments? And uh...
It's really been going on for a while:



Hippies? Candidates for arrest by homophobe police? Draw your own conclusions

BTW - not much of a hugger myself, either. I get uncomfortable hugging my MOM fer cryin' out loud (she's almost ninety so I DO hug her...but it gives me the creeps)
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Old 09-05-08, 12:33 PM   #14
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About the only thing that I hugged and really meant it was a can of beer.
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Old 09-05-08, 04:34 PM   #15
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About the only thing that I hugged and really meant it was a can of beer.


But seriously, there have been some very interesting responses so far.
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Old 09-05-08, 04:52 PM   #16
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My problem with this whole thing is knowing when to hug and when not to hug. It's often just not clear. With guys I'll pretty much always just shake hands, but with women I have to calculate how long I've known them, etc etc. It's a mess.
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Old 09-05-08, 05:04 PM   #17
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Hugging is fine and informal. Hand shaking is formal.
Born in Europe, it's not unsusual for friends to kiss on cheek, male or female.
A cultural and/or emotional expression of friendship.
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Old 09-05-08, 05:07 PM   #18
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i gets lots of hugs 'cause the wife unit's family is loving and embracing (no one on my side of the family except for a sister)...

hugs = good
groping = bad

:-)
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Old 09-06-08, 04:35 PM   #19
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I don't know but any woman that wants a hug can just ask and I'm there!

Hugs RULE!
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Old 09-06-08, 04:48 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Louis View Post
Don't get me wrong...I love hugs but I am curious, when did all this hugging business start? Almost all my life no one hugged each other unless it was mothers hugging small children. Women sometimes hugged each other under certain circumstances. Men (gasp) never hugged each other lest they be arrested by the homophobe police. Men only hugged women if they were married to them or in a relationship with them.

Back in the 60's we had something like this going on briefly, but it was limited mostly to strung out hippies. The general public was way too uptight to ever hug another person and sneered at anyone who did.

Nowadays you see professional athletes hugging, politicians hugging, same sex/opposite sex, doesn't matter. My friends all hug each other, including me, and I'm lovin' it.


Your comments? And uh...
I'm a 57 year old southerner, who grew up in a working class neighborhood in Atlanta, to a poor but well fed and nurturing family. Hugs were not something which was done, although we really loved each other, and consequently the distance around me which therapists seem to call "social space" extends about five feet out in all directions.

But my late wife and all her friends were huggers, and my fiance and her friends are too. And I go to a church where the younger folks seem to hug. So I adapted. I just have to force a benign grin on my face, turn off my fight or flight impulses, and tell myself "these people are just trying to be warm and friendly, and aren't trying to steal my wallet".

It works, and none of them have used the proximity to stab me yet
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Old 09-06-08, 07:10 PM   #21
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...It works, and none of them have used the proximity to stab me yet
Yeah but you still check for your wallet, don't you?
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Old 09-06-08, 07:31 PM   #22
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I don't know but any woman that wants a hug can just ask and I'm there!

Hugs RULE!
I was gonna say, it's all about the babes. Huggin' the babes.
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Old 09-06-08, 07:56 PM   #23
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hugging big breasted women works for me!

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Old 09-07-08, 10:02 AM   #24
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hugging big breasted women works for me!

I guess some never leave Jr. High.

I like to hug and touch but if I sense someone does not, then I don't.
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Old 09-07-08, 07:27 PM   #25
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Group hug!!!!!!!!!!!!
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