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  1. #1
    Senior Member rideon7's Avatar
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    A 50+ cyclist walks into a bar . . .

    A dapper 50+ cyclist finished his daily ride rather late, turning toward home late in the evening. Riding along, he noticed an upscale bar that seemed somehow familiar. He got off his bike, secured it in a safe location out front, and walked into the bar.

    Dressed in full club gear, it was clear this 50+ cyclist was well-looked-after and could challenge even some of the younger riders on his better days.

    Seated at the bar was an attractive and well-turned-out 50+ lady. Our cyclist walked over, sat alongside of her, ordered an Italian mineral water, took a sip, turned to her and said, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

  2. #2
    Burn Rubber BRNRBR's Avatar
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    Two cyclists go into a pie shop...
    One says to the other...
    "Man, this place looks desserted!"
    Yeah baby, let's peel out!!

  3. #3
    Senior Member rideon7's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BRNRBR View Post
    Two cyclists go into a pie shop...
    One says to the other...
    "Man, this place looks desserted!"
    da-dum

  4. #4
    2011 TCR Advanced SL Spinz's Avatar
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    Am I missing something? Lp

  5. #5
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinz@50 View Post
    Am I missing something? Lp
    Don't worry, a moderator will soon find reason to move this thread to Foo.
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
    2012 Masi Evoluzione
    2009 Specialized Globe Vienna 2

    Proud member of the original Club Tombay

  6. #6
    2011 TCR Advanced SL Spinz's Avatar
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    He could have been a 50 +++++++++++++++. Lp

  7. #7
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    A 50+ cyclist walked into a bar, it's a good thing he was wearing his helmet!

  8. #8
    Older I get, Better I was velonomad's Avatar
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    a 50+ Buddhist cyclist stops at a hotdog stand and says " make me one with everything"

  9. #9
    Bicycle Repair Man !!! Sixty Fiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digital Gee View Post
    Don't worry, a moderator will soon find reason to move this thread to Foo.
    Only if the quality of the jokes improves... as even Foosters have standards.


  10. #10
    Senior Member gcottay's Avatar
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    The seasoned but fit 50+ cyclist walked into a dimly lit bar because the steps were too steep for riding.
    George
    Laissez les bon temps rouler

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    Looks like a good place for my high mileage 50+er joke...

    Two 50++ers were walking in the mall...
    "How ya like my new hearing aid? Just got it this morning, only paid ten dollars. But it's a good one!"
    "What kind is it?"
    Looking at pocket watch..."It's half past six."

  12. #12
    Senior Member rideon7's Avatar
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    A 50+ cyclist goes in for his regular check-up and says, "Doc, you know I ride my bike a lot. But these days, whenever I'm out riding I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

    The doctor hears this, thinks for a moment, then says, "Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome."

    "Is it common?"

    "Well, it's not unusual."

  13. #13
    370H-SSV-0773H linux_author's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideon7 View Post
    "Well, it's not unusual."

  14. #14
    Older I get, Better I was velonomad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideon7 View Post
    A 50+ cyclist goes in for his regular check-up and says, "Doc, you know I ride my bike a lot. But these days, whenever I'm out riding I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

    The doctor hears this, thinks for a moment, then says, "Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome."

    "Is it common?"

    "Well, it's not unusual."


    That is a joke that you have to be over 50 just to understand the punch line.

  15. #15
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    These small ads were posted earlier in the year so here they are again.



    FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
    80's, slim, 5'4'' (used to be 5'6''), searching for sharp-looking,
    sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt
    a plus.

    LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just
    buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round
    out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath
    not a problem.

    SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises,
    the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type,
    let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet
    times.

    WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth
    seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on
    the cob and caramel candy.

    BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise
    in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
    If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get
    together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

    MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
    If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our
    two heads together.

    MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition,
    some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
    Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  16. #16
    Senior Member
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    I get the British humor better than the other ones.
    Now I wonder???

  17. #17
    gone ride'n cyclinfool's Avatar
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    50+ cyclist walks into the doctors office - the nurse say "open your mouth so I can take your temperature", the cyclist say, "you know I've always wondered how you can tell an oral thermometer from a rectal thermometer?", as the nurse shoves the thermometer into his mouth she say - "by the taste of course."
    "Of all the things I ever lost I miss my mind the most." Mark Twain
    If all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

  18. #18
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by velonomad View Post
    a 50+ Buddhist cyclist stops at a hotdog stand and says " make me one with everything"
    Then the cyclist hands the vendor a $20 bill and asks for change.
    The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

  19. #19
    Can't Re Member Nerdanel's Avatar
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    A 50+ Cartesian cyclist weaves and stumbles into a bar and loudly demands a beer. "I think you've had enough," says the bartender. "I think not!" says the 50+ Cartesian cyclist, and disappears in a puff of logic.
    Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

  20. #20
    Cycler Suzie Green's Avatar
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    50+ female cyclist walks into the doctors office. The doctor places a stethoscope on her chest and says "Big breaths."

    "Yes, they used to be!" she replies.

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerdanel View Post
    A 50+ Cartesian cyclist weaves and stumbles into a bar and loudly demands a beer. "I think you've had enough," says the bartender. "I think not!" says the 50+ Cartesian cyclist, and disappears in a puff of logic.
    He should have said, "I drink, therefore, I am."

  22. #22
    Senior Member jiminos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cone Wrench View Post
    He should have said, "I drink, therefore, I am."
    in Latin.... Cogito ergo suds.
    Be in this moment.
    Do not seek the truth. Accept it.

  23. #23
    Randomhead
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    a cyclist walks into a bar
    ouch!

  24. #24
    Senior Member BlazingPedals's Avatar
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    A 50+ cyclist walks into a bar.

    Ten minutes later, he wondered how that bump got on his forehead.

  25. #25
    Senior Member
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    A 50+ cyclist walks into a bar and can't believe it costs $7.50 for a friggin' beer and all the patrons look to be the age of his grandchildren and they have no manners and the music is too loud to carry on a conversation and the lighting is too dim and he remembers that he could buy a beer for a buck and play some pool and listen to "Jumping Jack Flash" on the juke box and.....

    oh...um...sorry...I think there's a joke somewhere in there...lets see....uh, no...it's just a rant.

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