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Fifty Plus (50+) Share the victories, challenges, successes and special concerns of bicyclists 50 and older. Especially useful for those entering or reentering bicycling.

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Old 09-21-08, 09:00 AM   #1
rideon7
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A 50+ cyclist walks into a bar . . .

A dapper 50+ cyclist finished his daily ride rather late, turning toward home late in the evening. Riding along, he noticed an upscale bar that seemed somehow familiar. He got off his bike, secured it in a safe location out front, and walked into the bar.

Dressed in full club gear, it was clear this 50+ cyclist was well-looked-after and could challenge even some of the younger riders on his better days.

Seated at the bar was an attractive and well-turned-out 50+ lady. Our cyclist walked over, sat alongside of her, ordered an Italian mineral water, took a sip, turned to her and said, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
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Old 09-21-08, 10:58 AM   #2
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Two cyclists go into a pie shop...
One says to the other...
"Man, this place looks desserted!"
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Old 09-21-08, 11:16 AM   #3
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Two cyclists go into a pie shop...
One says to the other...
"Man, this place looks desserted!"
da-dum
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Old 09-21-08, 11:25 AM   #4
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Am I missing something? Lp
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Old 09-21-08, 11:36 AM   #5
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Am I missing something? Lp
Don't worry, a moderator will soon find reason to move this thread to Foo.
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Old 09-21-08, 11:53 AM   #6
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He could have been a 50 +++++++++++++++. Lp
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Old 09-21-08, 12:05 PM   #7
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A 50+ cyclist walked into a bar, it's a good thing he was wearing his helmet!
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Old 09-21-08, 12:20 PM   #8
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a 50+ Buddhist cyclist stops at a hotdog stand and says " make me one with everything"
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Old 09-21-08, 12:33 PM   #9
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Don't worry, a moderator will soon find reason to move this thread to Foo.
Only if the quality of the jokes improves... as even Foosters have standards.

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Old 09-21-08, 01:02 PM   #10
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The seasoned but fit 50+ cyclist walked into a dimly lit bar because the steps were too steep for riding.
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Old 09-21-08, 01:28 PM   #11
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Looks like a good place for my high mileage 50+er joke...

Two 50++ers were walking in the mall...
"How ya like my new hearing aid? Just got it this morning, only paid ten dollars. But it's a good one!"
"What kind is it?"
Looking at pocket watch..."It's half past six."
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Old 09-21-08, 01:36 PM   #12
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A 50+ cyclist goes in for his regular check-up and says, "Doc, you know I ride my bike a lot. But these days, whenever I'm out riding I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

The doctor hears this, thinks for a moment, then says, "Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"Well, it's not unusual."
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Old 09-21-08, 01:42 PM   #13
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"Well, it's not unusual."
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Old 09-21-08, 01:53 PM   #14
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A 50+ cyclist goes in for his regular check-up and says, "Doc, you know I ride my bike a lot. But these days, whenever I'm out riding I can't stop singing the 'Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

The doctor hears this, thinks for a moment, then says, "Sounds like you have Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"Well, it's not unusual."


That is a joke that you have to be over 50 just to understand the punch line.
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Old 09-21-08, 02:20 PM   #15
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These small ads were posted earlier in the year so here they are again.



FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80's, slim, 5'4'' (used to be 5'6''), searching for sharp-looking,
sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt
a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just
buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to round
out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath
not a problem.

SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises,
the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type,
let's get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet
times.

WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth
seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on
the cob and caramel candy.

BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise
in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar.
If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get
together and listen to my eight-track tapes.

MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our
two heads together.

MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932, high mileage, good condition,
some hair, many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves.
Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
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Old 09-21-08, 07:28 PM   #16
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I get the British humor better than the other ones.
Now I wonder???
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Old 09-21-08, 07:43 PM   #17
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50+ cyclist walks into the doctors office - the nurse say "open your mouth so I can take your temperature", the cyclist say, "you know I've always wondered how you can tell an oral thermometer from a rectal thermometer?", as the nurse shoves the thermometer into his mouth she say - "by the taste of course."
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Old 09-21-08, 08:01 PM   #18
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a 50+ Buddhist cyclist stops at a hotdog stand and says " make me one with everything"
Then the cyclist hands the vendor a $20 bill and asks for change.
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."
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Old 09-21-08, 08:44 PM   #19
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A 50+ Cartesian cyclist weaves and stumbles into a bar and loudly demands a beer. "I think you've had enough," says the bartender. "I think not!" says the 50+ Cartesian cyclist, and disappears in a puff of logic.
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Old 09-22-08, 07:54 AM   #20
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50+ female cyclist walks into the doctors office. The doctor places a stethoscope on her chest and says "Big breaths."

"Yes, they used to be!" she replies.
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Old 09-22-08, 08:53 AM   #21
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A 50+ Cartesian cyclist weaves and stumbles into a bar and loudly demands a beer. "I think you've had enough," says the bartender. "I think not!" says the 50+ Cartesian cyclist, and disappears in a puff of logic.
He should have said, "I drink, therefore, I am."
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Old 09-22-08, 03:49 PM   #22
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He should have said, "I drink, therefore, I am."
in Latin.... Cogito ergo suds.
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Old 09-22-08, 10:38 PM   #23
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a cyclist walks into a bar
ouch!
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Old 09-23-08, 06:02 AM   #24
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A 50+ cyclist walks into a bar.

Ten minutes later, he wondered how that bump got on his forehead.
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Old 09-23-08, 08:09 AM   #25
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A 50+ cyclist walks into a bar and can't believe it costs $7.50 for a friggin' beer and all the patrons look to be the age of his grandchildren and they have no manners and the music is too loud to carry on a conversation and the lighting is too dim and he remembers that he could buy a beer for a buck and play some pool and listen to "Jumping Jack Flash" on the juke box and.....

oh...um...sorry...I think there's a joke somewhere in there...lets see....uh, no...it's just a rant.
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