It really hurts to see someone hurting
I just need to talk............
I've been trying to visit my cycling buddy in the hospital who was hit by a car as much as I possibly can. We're getting a pretty good network of neighbors, cyclists and others to pitch in as needed. Right now there is not a lot anyone can do but that will certainly change once he is able to come home. However that might be several more weeks.
I'm just crushed when I go visit him. It just tears me up to see the guy writhing in pain. Here's a fellow who was as strong and healthy a 60 year old as you could imagine. Here's a cyclist with outstanding cycling skills-in fact he qualified for Senior Nationals in 2009. He could have qualified for more events but sat out one event to let another local friend qualify. We've "Assaulted Mt Mitchell" together and we've chased each other up hill after hill. We've both smiled at each other as we've dropped younger riders along the way. We've enjoyed pushing each other to knowing the pain we've experienced in riding and training just made us a little better.
Tonight I spent a couple hours with him-a lot of it just sitting in the dark watching him rest-and occasionally writhe in pain. Here was this guy that just a week ago was as strong as they get looking weak and helpless. It felt so easy to put myself in his position and feel the pain he was feeling.
A million thoughts ran through my head.
As much as I enjoy the many aspects of riding that we all have shared stories about, I was asking myself if it was really worth it-is it worth the risk. I now wonder what my mindset will be the next time I go riding. Will I be so concerned about vehicles and safety I become a threat to myself or other riders-or worry so much I lose a lot of the enjoyment??? I'll work through all that but it's bothering me more than I would have guessed.
The other thing that really dawned on me tonight --- he as a long, long way to recovery--and it's going to be very, very difficult. The doctors are now estimating he'll be in the hospital even longer. They won't even be able to operate on his leg/knee for at least another couple weeks........I think he is doing great handling all this-but man does he have a long way to go.
It sure does hurt in more ways than I can explain seeing him hurt.
Thanks for letting me share!