Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Fifty Plus (50+) Share the victories, challenges, successes and special concerns of bicyclists 50 and older. Especially useful for those entering or reentering bicycling.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 12-03-08, 08:25 PM   #1
jppe
Let's do a Century
Thread Starter
 
jppe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: North Carolina
Bikes: Pinarello Prince/Campy SR; Cervelo R3/Sram Red; Trek 5900/Duraace, Cervelo P2C/Duraace
Posts: 6,656
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 67 Post(s)
It really hurts to see someone hurting

I just need to talk............

I've been trying to visit my cycling buddy in the hospital who was hit by a car as much as I possibly can. We're getting a pretty good network of neighbors, cyclists and others to pitch in as needed. Right now there is not a lot anyone can do but that will certainly change once he is able to come home. However that might be several more weeks.

I'm just crushed when I go visit him. It just tears me up to see the guy writhing in pain. Here's a fellow who was as strong and healthy a 60 year old as you could imagine. Here's a cyclist with outstanding cycling skills-in fact he qualified for Senior Nationals in 2009. He could have qualified for more events but sat out one event to let another local friend qualify. We've "Assaulted Mt Mitchell" together and we've chased each other up hill after hill. We've both smiled at each other as we've dropped younger riders along the way. We've enjoyed pushing each other to knowing the pain we've experienced in riding and training just made us a little better.

Tonight I spent a couple hours with him-a lot of it just sitting in the dark watching him rest-and occasionally writhe in pain. Here was this guy that just a week ago was as strong as they get looking weak and helpless. It felt so easy to put myself in his position and feel the pain he was feeling.

A million thoughts ran through my head.

As much as I enjoy the many aspects of riding that we all have shared stories about, I was asking myself if it was really worth it-is it worth the risk. I now wonder what my mindset will be the next time I go riding. Will I be so concerned about vehicles and safety I become a threat to myself or other riders-or worry so much I lose a lot of the enjoyment??? I'll work through all that but it's bothering me more than I would have guessed.

The other thing that really dawned on me tonight --- he as a long, long way to recovery--and it's going to be very, very difficult. The doctors are now estimating he'll be in the hospital even longer. They won't even be able to operate on his leg/knee for at least another couple weeks........I think he is doing great handling all this-but man does he have a long way to go.

It sure does hurt in more ways than I can explain seeing him hurt.

Thanks for letting me share!

Stay safe!!
jppe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-08, 08:35 PM   #2
maddmaxx 
Small Member
 
maddmaxx's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Bikes: Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
Posts: 7,140
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1130 Post(s)
Share anytime Jppe. We will all help as much as we can.
maddmaxx is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-08, 08:56 PM   #3
Jet Travis
Ride Daddy Ride
 
Jet Travis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Villa Incognito
Bikes: 1983 Trek 720; 1983 Trek 620; 1989 Gi Cannondale Bad Boy Ultra; LeMond Victoire; Bike Friday Pocket Rocket Pro
Posts: 2,648
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
In the midst of the most difficult times, we can remind ourselves at the amazing ability of human beings to either fully recover or to build something new and good out of seeming tragedy. Remember, jppe, when you ride with this group, you never ride alone.
__________________
"Light it up, Popo." --Levi Leipheimer
Jet Travis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-08, 09:08 PM   #4
Yen
Surly Girly
 
Yen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: SoCal
Bikes:
Posts: 4,113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Thanks for being so open with your feelings about your friend and your new concerns about cycling. We all gain from each others' life experiences here and I've shared my own anguish like it was among friends. Feel free to continue as your friend mends and even once he gets back on his feet. He sounds blessed to have so many people in his life who care and look after him.

It sounds as if you are carrying a heavy weight of thoughts and emotions, having known him so strong before and now seeing him bruised and broken and in so much pain. That mental shock can also be felt physically so take care of yourself as you walk along with him through his ordeal.

It took me a long time to feel as comfortable riding in traffic as I do now. In the beginning, I felt trepidation every time. Now, it hardly bothers me at all -- it feels like a challenge and I always stay alert, but I'm no longer afraid. And that's a good reason to pay even more attention. When a bike and a car/truck collide, the car/truck always wins.
__________________
Specialized Roubaix Expert
Surly Long Haul Trucker
Yen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-08, 09:17 PM   #5
Bus Driver
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Bikes:
Posts: 13
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
we don't ride alone

God Bless and I'm not even a God person . Best said, "We do not ride alone". Hope for a speedy recovery and the strength to ride again, as I,m sure he will.
Bus Driver is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-08, 11:06 PM   #6
Mojo Slim
Lincoln, CA
 
Mojo Slim's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Lincoln, CA
Bikes: 94 Giant ATX 760, 2001 Biachi Eros, 2005 Giant OCR2 Composite +
Posts: 2,229
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your friend, as you describe him, sounds like the kind of guy who will make sure he recovers, whatever it takes. And I'll be he's the kind of guy who really appreciates the friends he has who will help him through all this. Best to both of you.
__________________
Truth is stranger than reality.
'96 Giant ATX 760 MTB
'01 Bianchi Eros
'05 Giant OCR Llimited Carbon Fiber + upgrades
Mojo Slim is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 01:30 AM   #7
Clunker
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Charlotte, N. Carolina, USA
Bikes: Ross Centaur
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My deepest heartfelt wishes for a speedy recovery go out to your friend! Thank-you so much for sharing your feelings and the story of your friend's tragic circumstances. I just recently started riding 'seriously' again, after a rather long layoff. When I am riding I am always aware of the possibility of my meeting similar tragic circumstances; but I am also aware of the enjoyment that I get from riding. The enjoyment for me is a reward that FAR surpasses the risks that I take while riding. I have had two bladder cancer surgeries over the last five years. After each surgery there was a recovery time of a few weeks; but both times I started riding again on the day that the doctor gave me the 'OK.' Even now, my rides aren't very long and are rather slow, but I simply enjoy riding WAY too much for ANYTHING to stop me! Stories like yours, and people like your friend have been great inspirations to me! They helped me find the strength...so that I just KNEW that I was going to recover; and again I wish your friend a speedy recovery...and MANY more miles of riding. I know that you and your friend are 'hurting,' but I can't imagine what you and he must be going through...however, it is VERY important that you and he must 'NEVER, EVER give up!' May God Bless you and your friend. Sincerest Best Wishes !

Ron

Last edited by Clunker; 12-04-08 at 02:05 AM.
Clunker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 06:00 AM   #8
NOS88
Senior Member
 
NOS88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
Bikes:
Posts: 6,490
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your friend's full recovery is much more likely with people like you in his life. It is a tough road ahead, but you've got to reach down and climb at least one more mountain together. I feel for both of you.
__________________
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831
NOS88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 06:09 AM   #9
Kai Winters
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Northern NY...Brownville
Bikes: Merlin Ti
Posts: 1,906
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Good thoughts and wishes for him.
Great of you to be so supportive.
Kai Winters is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 07:06 AM   #10
Bob Nichols
Senior Member
 
Bob Nichols's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Union City, TN
Bikes: Trek 7.5 FX, Trek Navigator 2.0
Posts: 253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jppe View Post
I just need to talk............


As much as I enjoy the many aspects of riding that we all have shared stories about, I was asking myself if it was really worth it-is it worth the risk. I now wonder what my mindset will be the next time I go riding. Will I be so concerned about vehicles and safety I become a threat to myself or other riders-or worry so much I lose a lot of the enjoyment??? I'll work through all that but it's bothering me more than I would have guessed.

Stay safe!!
I've thought about the risks of riding, but we can't sit around and worry about what might happen. Life is a risk, no matter what we do. We never know what might happen each time we get in the car, or each time we walk down the street. We can be in good health one minute and dead the next.

I had a friend who was walking through the woods about 3 weeks ago to work on his duck blind. He was shot with a high-powered deer rifle. He was 44, a father and a husband, and was active in his community and church. I always wonder why these things happen, but don't guess we'll ever understand.

Your friend is in my prayers.

Bob
Bob Nichols is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 08:00 AM   #11
oilman_15106
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 6,900
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Seems the Holidays always have some bad attached, just found out a business associate's daughter has bone cancer. Hope all is as good as it can be for you all.
oilman_15106 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 08:22 AM   #12
BluesDawg
just keep riding
 
BluesDawg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Milledgeville, Georgia
Bikes: 2015 Specialized AWOL Comp frameset (custom build), 2015 Zukas custom road, 2014 Specialized Crave Pro 29, 2003 KHS Milano Tandem, 1986 Nishiki Cadence rigid MTB, 1980ish Fuji S-12S
Posts: 13,272
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 39 Post(s)
Your friend is fortunate to have a friend like you to help see him through his ordeal. But this is also an ordeal for you. Don't hesitate to share your thoughts with us and with other friends who are there with you.
I have seen very clearly over the last six months how much friends and family can help get us through the worst of times. I have also seen how hard it can be on family and close friends to see a loved one going through such an ordeal. We all have to lean on each other to get through it.
BluesDawg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 09:52 AM   #13
big john
Senior Member
 
big john's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: In the foothills of Los Angeles County
Bikes:
Posts: 11,574
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 37 Post(s)
jppe, you're obviously a good friend and a good man. Just do what you can and talk to him when he can listen. I'm sure having you around means a lot to him. Tell him you care about him. Having people care gives us something to hang on to.

I think about not riding when people get hurt and when I read threads like this. I try to be careful and pick routes away from traffic, or try to go mountain biking more often. I'm actually more afraid when driving on the freeway than when I'm on my bike.
big john is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 09:53 AM   #14
Kurt Erlenbach
Senior Member
 
Kurt Erlenbach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Space Coast, Florida
Bikes:
Posts: 2,423
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jppe View Post
.As much as I enjoy the many aspects of riding that we all have shared stories about, I was asking myself if it was really worth it-is it worth the risk. I now wonder what my mindset will be the next time I go riding.
I think about this every time I ride. EVERY single time. When I was recovering from liver surgery after my colon cancer came back in 2005, knowing that I had about a 1-in-5 chance of living another five years, knowing that I had a brutal six months of chemo ahead, I came to the firm and fully-considered opinion that dying on the front end of a pickup truck beats dying curled up in bed "after a long illness."

Is it worth the risk? Yes. Do everything reasoanbly possible to reduce the risk; ride safely yet assertively and predictably. Avoid unnecessarily dangerous roads. Avoid confrontations. Be situationally aware and think ahead to avoid dangers. Recognize that we older folks will not heal like the 20-somethings in the MTB forum, and avoid silliness like mountain biking. The result? Probably not dying curled up in bed (or maybe in bed at age 93), and probably not dying on the front end of a pickup truck. But maybe we will. That, however, is life.
Kurt Erlenbach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 09:54 AM   #15
stapfam
Time for a change.
 
stapfam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: 6 miles inland from the coast of Sussex, in the South East of England
Bikes: Dale MT2000. Bianchi FS920 Kona Explosif. Giant TCR C. Boreas Ignis. Pinarello Fp Uno.
Posts: 19,915
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by BluesDawg View Post
Your friend is fortunate to have a friend like you to help see him through his ordeal. But this is also an ordeal for you. Don't hesitate to share your thoughts with us and with other friends who are there with you.
I have seen very clearly over the last six months how much friends and family can help get us through the worst of times. I have also seen how hard it can be on family and close friends to see a loved one going through such an ordeal. We all have to lean on each other to get through it.
BD and a few others have been through the other end of this ordeal- where we will rely on others to help us through.

Can assure you it will be tough on you but the amount of help you are offering your friend means a heck of a lot to him. He has someone he can rely on- and that will help him through.
__________________
How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


Spike Milligan
stapfam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 10:04 AM   #16
InfiniteRegress
Infinite Regress
 
InfiniteRegress's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: DC Metro Area
Bikes: Dahon Speed Pro TT (2008), Jamis Aurora Cyclocross (2005), Trek WSD 2100 (2007)
Posts: 341
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just be there for him. I know it's hard, but that is the biggest source of strength when you're in that situation. Yes, cycling is risky, but so is stepping out of your bathtub or front door. Life, by it's very nature, is inherently risky. It sounds like you're being a great friend already, so I just encourage you to keep doing what you're doing. Also, I don't know the circumstances of his accident, but if it was something that involved driver error, maybe help him use the accident as a reason for getting something changed that needs to be changed (if applicable). Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a serious situation like this to wake people up. Best of luck and sending positive thoughts to you and your friend.
InfiniteRegress is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 10:05 AM   #17
John E
feros ferio
 
John E's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: www.ci.encinitas.ca.us
Bikes: 1959 Capo; 1980 Peugeot PKN-10; 1981 Bianchi; 1988 Schwinn KOM-10;
Posts: 17,299
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 135 Post(s)
Thanks for sharing. Hearing about cyclists being killed or seriously injured always dampens my enthusiasm for my favorite sport. I am glad we can discuss this issue frankly here, because I have friends who always blame the victim and evidently feel invincible.

Best wishes to your friend. I have a friend who went through the rear side window of a Ford Expedition at age 60. Not only did he recover fully, but the paramedics at the scene underestimated his age by 15 years. I also remember reading years ago about a Norwegian burn victim whose miraculous recovery was attributed to the fact that he had commuted by bicycle for many years.
__________________
"Early to bed, early to rise. Work like hell, and advertise." -- George Stahlman
Capo [dschaw'-poe]: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger, S/N 42624
Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
Bianchi: 1981 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069
John E is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 10:10 AM   #18
John E
feros ferio
 
John E's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: www.ci.encinitas.ca.us
Bikes: 1959 Capo; 1980 Peugeot PKN-10; 1981 Bianchi; 1988 Schwinn KOM-10;
Posts: 17,299
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 135 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kerlenbach View Post
I think about this every time I ride. EVERY single time. When I was recovering from liver surgery after my colon cancer came back in 2005, knowing that I had about a 1-in-5 chance of living another five years, knowing that I had a brutal six months of chemo ahead, I came to the firm and fully-considered opinion that dying on the front end of a pickup truck beats dying curled up in bed "after a long illness."

Is it worth the risk? Yes. Do everything reasoanbly possible to reduce the risk; ride safely yet assertively and predictably. Avoid unnecessarily dangerous roads. Avoid confrontations. Be situationally aware and think ahead to avoid dangers. Recognize that we older folks will not heal like the 20-somethings in the MTB forum, and avoid silliness like mountain biking. The result? Probably not dying curled up in bed (or maybe in bed at age 93), and probably not dying on the front end of a pickup truck. But maybe we will. That, however, is life.
Superb post. As Louis Pasteur said, "Chance favors the prepared mind." We cannot control everything in life, but we can influence the odds considerably.
__________________
"Early to bed, early to rise. Work like hell, and advertise." -- George Stahlman
Capo [dschaw'-poe]: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger, S/N 42624
Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
Bianchi: 1981 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069
John E is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 10:11 AM   #19
Kurt Erlenbach
Senior Member
 
Kurt Erlenbach's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Space Coast, Florida
Bikes:
Posts: 2,423
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Here's the link to jppe's original post about the accident. Sounds like a standard-issue left cross accident with an inattentive drive in a location where the cyclist was easliy visible. For me, one of the scariest and least avoidable kinds of crashes.
Kurt Erlenbach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 10:22 AM   #20
George
Senior Member
 
George's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Katy Texas
Bikes: Specialized Roubaix
Posts: 5,409
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 12 Post(s)
I cant add anything more that's been said here, you have my best wishs, take care.
__________________
George
George is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 11:08 AM   #21
Robert Foster
Banned.
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Southern california
Bikes: Lapierre CF Sensium 400. Jamis Ventura Sport. Trek 800. Giant Cypress.
Posts: 3,498
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A good friend only needs to be there just to be there. You are doing what you can do and many of us admire that.
Robert Foster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 11:12 AM   #22
cranky old dude
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Bikes:
Posts: 4,259
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Physically the pain and recovery is his load to bear.

Psycologicaly the two of you will pull each other through this trial together, much as you have on the bicycles. When he's feeling low you'll pull him and he'll be there to pull you when you're feeling low. When you're both down you'll slog along together, but you will both come through this. The physical and mental strength you've both been building over the years will get you both through this, the biggest challenge you've faced together yet.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you both, and with your families.
cranky old dude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 11:26 AM   #23
CACycling
Senior Member
 
CACycling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Oxnard, CA
Bikes: '08 Fuji Roubaix RC; '07 Schwinn Le Tour GS; '92 Diamond Back Ascent EX
Posts: 4,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jppe View Post
As much as I enjoy the many aspects of riding that we all have shared stories about, I was asking myself if it was really worth it-is it worth the risk. I now wonder what my mindset will be the next time I go riding. Will I be so concerned about vehicles and safety I become a threat to myself or other riders-or worry so much I lose a lot of the enjoyment??? I'll work through all that but it's bothering me more than I would have guessed.
I can relate. About 20 years ago, I was riding my motorcycle back to work after lunch. I came upon an accident. Semi had made a left in front of a motorcycle. I immediately recognized the bike as belonging to a coworker who I rode with often. The officer told me it didn't look like he was going to make it (he didn't). I had the duty of going to get his wife and taking her to the hospital. He left behind two beautiful young daughters.

I lost the joy of riding after that. It wasn't fear, just didn't find the enjoyment I once had. I sold the bike a few months later and haven't ridden a motorcycle since. I was actually thinking of getting back on a motorcycle right before I returned to cycling last year. I guess it was time for me to be back on 2 wheels. How will you feel? Only time will tell. For now, concentrate on being the good friend that you are and let the rest of it come when it feels right.
CACycling is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 11:34 AM   #24
qcpmsame 
Cycling Saved My Life
 
qcpmsame's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pensacola, Florida
Bikes: '12 CAAD 10 Ultegra, '78 Medici Pro Strada
Posts: 9,797
Mentioned: 8 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 169 Post(s)
I'll have your friend, his family and you in my prayers jppe. People like you as friends will go a long way in helping him recover. Please continue to share and to keep us updated on his progress.

Bill
__________________
I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me. Philippians 4:13

"I did not choose to have Parkinson's Disease, I do choose not to allow it to control my life." Davis Phinney

Semper Fi, USMC, November 10, 1775, Tun Tavern, Philadelphia, PA.

qcpmsame is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-08, 12:51 PM   #25
Beverly
Senior Member ??
 
Beverly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Englewood,Ohio
Bikes: 2007 Trek Madone 5.0 WSD - 2007 Trek 4300 WSD - 2008 Trek 520 - 2014 Catrike Trail
Posts: 5,094
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hope your friend makes a complete and speedy recovery. Thanks for sharing with us.
__________________
=============================================================

Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
-- Antonio Smith
Beverly is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:54 AM.