tcs

+1

It's the stokers who always have interesting observations to share about the route and scenery, and the captains who can tell you about the glass and potholes.

tcs

maddmaxx 

Some girlfriends like to ride faster, some slower. Just find the pace she likes and stay with her.

Doohickie

Get her a nice road bike (if she doesn't have one). Buy yourself an old English 3-speed, or maybe a single speed cruiser. She'll keep up.

leadchucker

Try this...

https://coachlevi.com/training/nike-s...chute-trainer/

BigBlueToe

I'd worry that trying to find a way to get her to keep up may damage your relationship. I think you have two options.

1) Both of you ride your own speed. The fast one will have to stop and wait for the slow one from time to time. You might discuss where - at the top of a hill, at the next stop sign, after 5 miles, etc.

2) The fast one will have to slow down to ride with the slow one. I like the idea of having the fast one in back. It's hard for the faster person to know how slow to ride to match the other's speed. If you set a pace that's too slow you risk the other person saying you're being insulting.

Oh, there's a third option: Don't ride together. You go on your rides at your pace and she goes on her rides at her pace. Talk about them at night in bed. (Uh-oh, too much information again!)

When my wife and I ride together, she's often the faster rider. She's a very agressive athlete, and likes to push herself hard. Her typical rides are 10 miles or less. My typical ride is about 30 miles, and I'm a tourer. I like going on 4-week, fully-loaded bike tours. My pace is geared towards being able to maintain it all day, day after day. So on the short rides we do together, she often rockets away from me. That's okay. I typically catch up with her on the first long hill. She's the hare and I'm the tortoise, and we all know who won that race!

Do whatever works for you, neither one pressure the other to change, and may happiness prevail!

Spokes man

Some sage advice here . . . all over the map, but I'll take what I like and leave the rest . . . I like the idea of N+1 (the lighter bike, not the faster girlfriend . . . although . . .

I also like the less-expensive alternative of riding my heavier, slower hybrid . . .

tntyz

You're lucky to have a riding partner. My wife hates riding. That's okay, I don't like doing aerobics dance routines. We're get along fine.

I wouldn't do anything to "throw" the race. GF may find it demeaning, but that all depends on the individual.

Ride together when you can, but realize it may not be at the pace you want.

billycarnival

great advice and today I took a lot of it to heart.
We rode 32 miles today and I stayed in the back most of the time. what I saw was she rode a little faster and asked for advice on shifting. I would tell her when to shift down and up by watching her legs and she said it really helped.
All in all a great ride, although the last 5 or 6 miles she started to slow , but I just stayed with her and we both got a good 32 mile work out.
thanks for all your thoughts and advice. perhaps tonight we will have more to talk about than just biking.

Yen

How long have you been riding? Walking 5 miles or even running doesn't give her the muscles or endurance to ride 25 miles at the fast pace you prefer. She needs to build up her endurance to ride your speed for longer times. Cycling uses a different set of muscles -- I know that from the way my legs and hips feel after a good hour on the treadmill vs. 2 hours on the bike.

rdtompki

My Wife and I started riding again 5 months ago after a 20+ year layoff. I'm a former runner, my Wife a former field hockey player. So we're both starting at ground zero being in our 60's. Everything in life and relationships is a compromise. I might go a bit faster on our 10-20 mile rides (longest so far 55 miles) and wouldn't insist on a coffee or lunch stop, but it's pretty high quality time together. My goal is to get one 30-50 mile solo ride in a week and possibly two 15-20 mile rides at a faster pace. Biggest challenge: coaxing my Wife into trying some of the beautiful rolling backroads in our area. After all a field hockey field is flat while I spent 10+ years running in the hills almost every day. Sounds like you're working to a good plan now!

Digital Gee

+1000!

Artkansas 

That's great. Way to go.

flatlander_48

That's the key!

LeeG

this is something many people have resolved. It came up when I was part of a racing community 25yrs ago and girlfriends would ride with boyfriends. It also comes up when weekend warriors ride with racers on weekend training rides. People of different fitness levels and comfort levels ride together by deciding to do it. When you decide not to do it you ride alone or folks of similar disposition.

1. if you want to ride WITH someone you ride WITH them. Determine what that means whether it's riding a paceline or a set distance apart. If she's not comfortable riding on your wheel at X mph or you aren't comfortable riding on her wheel at Xmph then you ride at different speeds which will open up gaps. If that is not either of your definitions of riding WITH,,then don't bother riding together. It's not worth the hassle. IT'S NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

2. if you insist on pushing her comfort zone it's not fun for her,,and one would think not for you.

3. ask her what is a comfortable distance to ride apart then try it,,riding behind her as well as in front of her.

4. I'd suggest you put yourself in her shoes by riding with a friend who was significantly stronger than you
and ask yourself what you could do to be happy riding at a 95% effort and continually dropping off on hills when an 80% effort is your comfort zone. It would be evident in ten minutes that you're going to suffer every time you ride with this person unless they slowed down to your level of effort.

I gave up riding with my sweetheart because it's simply not as fun for her as it is for me. She's not comfortable if I'm in her slipstream and she's not comfortable riding in mine. If I put it in the small ring and ride 30' behind her she's aware of the difference in fitness levels, if I'm 30' ahead she's not focusing on the ride but my wheel.

Doohickie

32 miles is a more than respectable ride, billycarnival. You're doing it right; keep doing it.

Keith99

I reread your initial post and most of the replies. The more I think about it the more I come back to she was upset because she could not keep up. Those seem to be her words, not upset because your dropped her. I'm going to assume she is reasonably smart.

So how long have you been riding? How long has she been riding? If you've been riding 5 years and she has been riding 5 week no surprise your technique is much better and you are faster. Let her know that!

Also ask her what she want when you ride togeather. If part of it is really being as fast as you or at the least not 'holding you back' then that is at least part of what you need to work on. That means improving her technique and also having both of you work on drafting the other. Even if you are a saint in time she will figure it out if you make things work by holding back.

If the issue is in part she feels she is holding you back learning to ride as a team seems to me the way to go. Once you are good at working togeather you might consider a ride where headwinds are a risk. After 5or 6 miles of you in front and her on your wheel you might really want to have her take a pull or 2 in front. If not keeping up/holding you back is part of the issue having it work out even once where she helps you go faster, even just a little could be a big win.

I'll repeat. Ask her what she wants for the rides.

Floyd

I am just waiting for the update after Billy has tried some of the suggestions...I thought they were all pretty good.

pop's

I am suprised no one asked you to post a picture of the pretty lady, you old fart

Pop's

alcanoe

I like # 1 sort of, but for a long-term relationship both should be able to be cyclists at their level of satisfaction too. My wife and I are close to the same age, but in everything (hiking, backpacking, canoeing (solo boats) and cycling (road/off-road) she's much slower and more reserved. We solved that issue 40 years ago when we decided to backpack at our own speeds.

It's plain unfair for me to go slow and wear myself out more quickly or for her to go fast and do the same. I'd periodically wait for her. Same with hiking and canoeing. Often when canoeing, I'll get pretty far ahead then paddle back up-stream to where she was and paddle with her a while and take off again. I've done the same cycling. Get up the long hill first and go back down and pick her up. I got more mileage in and went far faster.

For cycling now I'll lead her around a new trail or a new road circuit. There after we are on our own and meet up once in a while or not. Now she'll do a different route or easier trail and we keep in touch by cell phone. She likes the independence and I treat her like she's competent to be on her own.

This way we both ride, enjoy ourselves and go out to dinner afterwards. If the relationship requires sticking together like glue for everything, it won't be much fun for either party unless you like and want to do that sort of thing.

I do #4 on a regular basis for mountain biking. After all, I like to bike. I deal with it by telling everyone not to wait for me. I'll catch them on their break or possibly never. No problem as I know the trails. I did the same when I backpacked with folks some 5 years ago who were in their late twenties and I was 64.

What often happens now for cycling is they leave me sitting where they are strong and I catch up where I'm strong. I run my own pace (and abhor pace lines). Everyone has a good time as nobody has to be a nursemaid to the old guy. I get calls to ride with these faster folks. That's because they can ride like they can enjoy and be guilt free.

A good discussion on the subject to find out where both are coming from and some experimentation can often lead to a compromise solution that can make both reasonably happy.

Al

wrk101

+1 Let here lead and set the pace.

+1 Be glad she is riding with you.

+1 Use the opportunity to increase your cadence (spin a lower gear).

gcottay

This one is simple if you want a long and happy relationship.

Tell her she is wonderful. Tell her she looks especially great on a bike. Tell her you would rather follow her because you appreciate the scenery. Be happy she will ride with you. Ride at her pace without even the slightest hint of a whine. Ride alone or with someone else when you want to go faster. Ride with the really rapid boys and girls if you want to get humble.

(If and when she wants to go faster, she will do it without any help or comment from you.)

Stv

1/ I let her lead and set the pace

2/ I follow and NEVER get out of 1st. low gear, even for moderate hill climbs.

3/ WoW! What a workout I get, and she's not p!ssed at me.

Try it, she'll like it.

Boudicca

The BF is a much stronger rider than I am but he has, so far, been content to ride more or less at my pace. When it gets to the really steep hills, he races ahead, and then comes back down and bounds up them again, which I'm hoping will use up some of the extra energy.

But then he's not turned 50 yet. Maybe that's the reason.

jwbnyc

Don't ride with your slower girlfriend.

Ride with your faster girlfriend.

Problem solved.

Monoborracho

We lived on what some people would call a subsistence farm until I was about eleven or twelve. That means we raised most of our own food and picked our feed sacks according to what color of school shirts we wanted. I've run a double (two row) turning plow behind a team, as well as a go-devil, fresno, and spring tooth harrow, all of which are things few people under 80 know of. So I'll give you the advice that my daddy told me, fully useful in sports, life, and family.

"....remember, a good team only pulls as fast as the slowest mule.....so take good care of the slowest mule...."

Someone above my pay grade could probably teach a whole semester of sociology out of that one sentence. Think about it.