The cold winter and adverse economic conditions seem to have led to an abnormally high number of neglected, abandoned and abused bicyles lately. Inspired by forlorn examples such as those pictured, I am forming a new organization to combat this growing social problem. Yes, People for the Ethical Treatment of Bicycles has been formed with headquarters in my town. I will be serving as Executive Director, but I will be needing board members and volunteers nationwide... and, of course, contributions.
To form your own local affiliate chapter just send $399 (PM for address of national HQ). A line of products (jerseys, coffee mugs, intervention kits, etc.) will be forthcoming soon. Post your suggestions for PETB's articles of incorporation, constitution, and by-laws.
The founding chapter has already been doing good work. We have done one intervention on an abuser (pictured) and he has entered a twelve-step program. Several persons are on our watch list and there is a 24 hour hotline. We have set up a public registry of offenders and are drafting proposed legislation. Foster care for abandoned and neglected cycles of any age and color has been established... but I envision a series of nationwide "no kill" shelters. A benefit concert by Sha-Na-Na is being planned. But we could do so much more with your help! Do you have room in your heart? No contribution above $100 is too small! For just pennies a day, you will receive a photograph of a cycle you have helped protect and nurture.
If there are cases of bike abuse in your area, please post a photo to document it! Please help...