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Old 08-05-10, 06:22 PM   #1
cranky old dude
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Am I a wuss?

George's 'he dropped his wife' thread got me to wondering.

When ever the bride and I walk out the door together I consider it a date. I've never abandoned a date, not even for a short period of time, and thirty-five years of marriage has not changed that practice.

When ever my wife conceeded to taking a bike ride with me you can bet the farm that we were with-in speaking distance of each other the entire time. No, we didn't always take the tandem. She has her own recumbent.

My point is, we're in this marriage thing together. Our lives are only so long and I kinda like being around her. She wouldn't expect it any other way. When she's along for the ride it's short and slow, and fun!

This style may be wrong for most other couples, but it seems to work for us.

So, am I a wuss?
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Old 08-05-10, 06:27 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by cranky old dude View Post
George's 'he dropped his wife' thread got me to wondering.

When ever the bride and I walk out the door together I consider it a date. I've never abandoned a date, not even for a short period of time, and thirty-five years of marriage has not changed that practice.

When ever my wife conceeded to taking a bike ride with me you can bet the farm that we were with-in speaking distance of each other the entire time. No, we didn't always take the tandem. She has her own recumbent.

My point is, we're in this marriage thing together. Our lives are only so long and I kinda like being around her. She wouldn't expect it any other way. When she's along for the ride it's short and slow, and fun!

This style may be wrong for most other couples, but it seems to work for us.

So, am I a wuss?
+1 - if you are a wuss, so am I. Well stated.

Last edited by DnvrFox; 08-05-10 at 06:34 PM.
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Old 08-05-10, 06:31 PM   #3
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Your the MAN way to go! Not a wuss.
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Old 08-05-10, 06:38 PM   #4
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George's 'he dropped his wife' thread got me to wondering.

When ever the bride and I walk out the door together I consider it a date. I've never abandoned a date, not even for a short period of time, and thirty-five years of marriage has not changed that practice.

When ever my wife conceeded to taking a bike ride with me you can bet the farm that we were with-in speaking distance of each other the entire time. No, we didn't always take the tandem. She has her own recumbent.

My point is, we're in this marriage thing together. Our lives are only so long and I kinda like being around her. She wouldn't expect it any other way. When she's along for the ride it's short and slow, and fun!

This style may be wrong for most other couples, but it seems to work for us.

So, am I a wuss?
Not at all. I think it will make for a good marriage. It aint supposed to be adversarial, after all - its supposed to be special. Two people deliberately working at making it that way sounds like a good start to me.
Are you worried about it, that we can make a difference with our opinions?
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Old 08-05-10, 06:41 PM   #5
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I find that after a 35-year racing career, I don't have a problem going slow enough for a non-cyclist gf to keep up. Seems to me it's only guys with some sort of inferiority complex/ego problem who have never had the balls to get into a real race who have to charge off and show the world how fast they are. Those with mature self-confidence can ride with anybody; I think it's a good test of character.

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Old 08-05-10, 06:43 PM   #6
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So, am I a wuss?
You bet - that's W.U.S.S. for Wife's Utterly Satisfied Servant!
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Old 08-05-10, 07:08 PM   #7
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Most of our 'date' riding is on our ten-year-old tandem. I'm allowed to ride as fast as I want and she has permission to touch my....seat....as desired. She has to help out on climbs.
In other words, we ride together.
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Old 08-05-10, 07:34 PM   #8
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I made the mistake of riding away from my wife once. Once.

It was on an invitational metric, and in my defense, I was having a good ride with my brother, and she (who never met a stranger) was engrossed in a lively conversation with some other cyclists in the club. It never even occurred to me that I was making a grave error.

OTOH, in her defense, it was her first ride of anything close to that length, and in the course of the day we had tar-melting heat under blistering sun, thunderstorms with drenching rain, headwinds of about 20 mph, lightning close enough to give pause to the faint of heart, and pea-sized hail.

She has never, ever stopped telling about the time I abandoned her under those conditions, although she does tell it with a twinkle in her eye. Still, I learned my lesson, and learned it good.
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Old 08-05-10, 08:05 PM   #9
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Today was my 32nd wedding anniversary. There is no way I would drop my wife from anything, anywhere, anyhow in this world. To do otherwise would be a poor display of character. Life is too short. No, you're no a wuss, any hambone can screw up constantly, it takes a man with a real commitment to his wife to continue to do the right thing despite knowing he could go faster, higher, longer etc.

Like casinos, disastrous marriages are not built on winners.

Last edited by AmericanMade; 08-05-10 at 08:14 PM.
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Old 08-05-10, 08:29 PM   #10
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You sound like a happily married man.
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Old 08-05-10, 08:39 PM   #11
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I always wait at the top of any hill we go up or I will ride her pace. If she has to walk I'll ask if she wants me to walk with her and if so I do if not I ride ahead a ways and wait it seems to work for us.
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Old 08-05-10, 08:41 PM   #12
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A wuss? Not even sure what that really means.

But you may have stumbled upon the key to happiness.
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Old 08-05-10, 08:51 PM   #13
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I'm not quite in this 50+ club yet and not up to 35 yrs of marriage either, but what I've read in this thread is very sensible and right.

I've wasted too many times away racing and training, recovering from serious injuries from bike crashes etc etc. Times I can't go back and fix and I wish I could, but my wife has stuck by me for over 25 yrs, she's incredible, I owe her my life, my love and my sanity.
Cycling can make us such selfish bas#@#ds, time wise.

Nowadays I enjoy her company when we ride down to the shops or do a slow tour somewhere nice MUCH MORE than the guys I still race with.......... she cuddles nicer.
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Old 08-05-10, 08:51 PM   #14
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You have your priorities in line my friend. Many of us here could only hope for such a wonderful marriage.
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Old 08-05-10, 09:14 PM   #15
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Quote:
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I made the mistake of riding away from my wife once. Once.

It was on an invitational metric, and in my defense, I was having a good ride with my brother, and she (who never met a stranger) was engrossed in a lively conversation with some other cyclists in the club. It never even occurred to me that I was making a grave error.

OTOH, in her defense, it was her first ride of anything close to that length, and in the course of the day we had tar-melting heat under blistering sun, thunderstorms with drenching rain, headwinds of about 20 mph, lightning close enough to give pause to the faint of heart, and pea-sized hail.

She has never, ever stopped telling about the time I abandoned her under those conditions, although she does tell it with a twinkle in her eye. Still, I learned my lesson, and learned it good.
They never let you forget, do they?

Still, like I stated in the other thread:

Never leave your buddy.
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Old 08-06-10, 05:11 AM   #16
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They never let you forget, do they?

Still, like I stated in the other thread:

Never leave your buddy.
I never have since then, that's for sure. These days I'll even drop back a little bit on hills so I can put a hand on her rear to help get her up the hill. It's amazing how even a light touch can ease her load, and amazing how much it adds to mine. Kind of a curious phenomenon for anyone who hasn't experienced it.
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Old 08-06-10, 07:04 AM   #17
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I cannot possibly pass judgment on the "wuss" question because I may not have all the facts.
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Old 08-06-10, 08:42 AM   #18
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Thirty six years of wedded bliss, here.

I'll usually bust (for me, that is) the hills, then wait. I'll do the same if we are hiking up mountains. Flats and downhills, we're always together.

Riding with my wife is not considered a major exercise, or aerobic, event... it's just hanging out with the spouse. Fine by me.
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Old 08-06-10, 08:58 AM   #19
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...within speaking distance of each other the entire time.
Since we're both retired, my wife and I are together almost all the time. I find that often it's nice to ride a little apart from one another, say 30 feet. We're together and sharing the ride/scenery, but we get a break from talking all the time.

As in this picture.



I think she could actually be a stronger rider than I if she were to work on it. I usually let her go first, and often find myself working to catch up.
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Old 08-06-10, 09:33 AM   #20
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Our "rules" are simple.
  1. Smart and beautiful wife goes first, making it easy for her to set the pace.
  2. Strong headwinds are an exception to Rule #1
  3. Every so often I pull up beside her for conversation.
  4. Every so often I sprint ahead a few thousand feet, turn around, and rejoin.
I agree with the idea that a couple with riding problems also has bigger ones.
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Old 08-06-10, 09:39 AM   #21
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I avoid the issue by having a wife that does not ride, her choice.

I also like the people, both men & women, that I ride with. Nothing wrong with a little "me" time.

This week I rode 50 miles with a young lady as we prepped for a 200k century event. During the last 10 miles, she felt un-well and stopped. I found her a safe place to rest and quickly rode to my car. I returned to pick her up. Normally this athlete can kick my butt, she is a solid Ironman competitor. Anyone can have an "off" day. A good cycling partner is just that, a partner.

Michael
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Old 08-06-10, 09:46 AM   #22
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Sooner, or later, the young bucks will learn what you already know. Hopefully, before they destroy their marriage.

Us, happily married, for almost 45 years - no - I wouldn't even consider riding away from her.........
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Old 08-06-10, 09:50 AM   #23
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As in [URL="http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a39/TromboneAl/ZionRideStart.jpg?t=1281106601"]
That path looks like a very nice ride! Beautiful out west near/in the mountains
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Old 08-06-10, 10:46 AM   #24
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My wife never expects me to take the dog for a 5 mile walk up the hills so I never expect her to join me in a bike ride.

I detest walking (due to knee problems) and she is not keen on bike riding so the agreement we have works. But in every other respect our marriage works.

But Gardening- Baking and our other Joint ventures and we are together. On the Gardening- she tells me what to do and I do it my way. Baking- she cooks it and I enjoy eating it.

Just face it- If it didn't work after this time- it would never work so I enjoy my Bike riding in peace without having to go slow most of the time and the dog is very fit.
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Old 08-06-10, 11:06 AM   #25
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You sound like a happily married man.
Winston Churchill said it first "My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me." , but it absolutely applies to me.
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