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Old 11-02-10, 07:38 AM   #1
Sculptor7
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Cold Maine Mornings a Time for Reflection

Lately I have been given to a bit of introspection. Normally I get up and out for a few hours on the bike but it seems to me I have not really been spending enough time with my wife. Out of genuine concern for the stability of our almost 50 years of wedlock I have decided it would be best to linger a bit over coffee and also pursue a few of those inside tasks she has wanted done. It seems selfish of me to leave the breakfast table so abruptly only to pursue my own pleasure.
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Old 11-02-10, 08:42 AM   #2
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Yep. Sometimes it's not all about the bike.
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 11-02-10, 08:42 AM   #3
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Sounds like a plan. Marriage happiness is certainly the priority. But you are not just pursuing pleasure - you are pursuing fitness, etc.
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Old 11-02-10, 08:55 AM   #4
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You need a tandem!
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Old 11-02-10, 08:57 AM   #5
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sounds like a plan. Marriage happiness is certainly the priority. but you are not just pursuing pleasure - you are pursuing fitness, etc.


Just because we enjoy it, doesn't mean it is not exercise. We need exercise. Your fitness will keep you around longer to be by her side and help her with the tasks. Additionally, who doesn't want to be married to a spouse with a fit and well toned body? Do the tasks at night, that way you can still help her fold laundry and look good while you're doing it!
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Old 11-02-10, 10:01 AM   #6
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....snip.... But you are not just pursuing pleasure - you are pursuing fitness, etc.
Yes, this is very true of course. But there is still a "utilitarian" quality to this perspective that makes me want to assert that some things are just worth doing because they are of value for what they are: perhaps "enjoyment" is a better word than pleasure for it. This might better convey that the personal benefits of some things extend beyond "fun" or even practical fitness. There is obviously a quality of earnestness (or even devotion) to many cyclists who come to this forum. Some have applied the term Serious Leisure to this phenomenon.

As to the OP's topic of reflection, I do find that, somehow, fall tends to bring on a spell of introspection as the days grow shorter. This can take a variety of directions.
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Old 11-02-10, 10:56 AM   #7
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From the replies I am getting I think I should have put a smiley after my post. It is obviously being taken more seriously than I had intended.
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Old 11-02-10, 11:52 AM   #8
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Lately I have been given to a bit of introspection.
That's illegal in Arkansas. The legislature took care of that on the same day they repealed the law of gravity.
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Old 11-02-10, 01:01 PM   #9
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Couple of thoughts- nearly 50 years of marriage means that you are probably retired.

Then two ways of looking at this-

If the wife has put up with looking at you over breakfast for 50 years- she is not going to worry if you shoot aff straight afterwards for some fitness training- Time to get worried is when the Full English starts being served with plenty of Fat and Red meat- and then she sends you out of the door straight afterwards.

And if you are retired then you have the rest of the day to annoy her by putting the shelves up crooked- Using the lounge to set up the Saw bench so you can do a better job than that one- Or sitting on the couch in recovery mode after the Bike ride- for 4 hours while you watch the re-runs of the game from 2 weeks ago.

I Don't know what you are worried about- If the wife had a problem with you riding- you would have known by now.

This is where I want a smilie of a Frying pan round the back of the head and a 6 " nail being hammered into the tyres.
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Old 11-02-10, 01:53 PM   #10
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Dude, if you don't know what to do on a cold Maine morning, how have you stayed married for 50 years?
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Old 11-02-10, 03:02 PM   #11
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My brother-in-law, who is a man I can find plenty of flaws in and vice-versa, and who I've known for well over 60 years, now and then comes up with pearls of wisdom. He once said to me that marriage is like a job where you have to work at it every day. It seems to me, this need not be an onerous task, you just have to work at it.
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Old 11-02-10, 03:07 PM   #12
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From the replies I am getting I think I should have put a smiley after my post. It is obviously being taken more seriously than I had intended.
I caught the sarcasm and with the thread title and immediately thought

WIMP !.

SB
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Old 11-03-10, 11:19 AM   #13
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Ask your wife.

Maybe after 50 years of marriage she likes it that you leave breakfast quickly and she has the place to herself for a few hours.
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Old 11-03-10, 11:27 AM   #14
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I think I would think up any excuse I could to avoid going out into the cold Maine mornings this time of year too!

Hey, if it's worked for 50 years, why change? You are doing a few things right. And congratulations on such a long-term relationship.

L.
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Old 11-03-10, 11:37 AM   #15
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As a new poster my one question would be - Does she really want you to stay inside bothering her for that extra time? My wife would say "Get on your bike and ride the heKK out of here for awhile so I can get my work done." That is only after 35 years of marriage.
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Old 11-03-10, 12:47 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sculptor7 View Post
From the replies I am getting I think I should have put a smiley after my post. It is obviously being taken more seriously than I had intended.
Don't worry Sculptor, It's not too late. Just click on the "Edit Post" button and you can still add a "smiley!"

Rick / OCRR
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Old 11-03-10, 02:17 PM   #17
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Ask your wife.

Maybe after 50 years of marriage she likes it that you leave breakfast quickly and she has the place to herself for a few hours.
+1! My husband plays soccer every Sunday morning. I stay in bed with my eyes closed until I hear the door close. Then I immediately jump out of bed, grab a cup of coffee (that he made) and dance around in my skivvies because I know I have the whole house to myself for about four hours! For 23 years, we have both been happy about Sunday mornings.
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Old 11-03-10, 02:36 PM   #18
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+1! My husband plays soccer every Sunday morning. I stay in bed with my eyes closed until I hear the door close. Then I immediately jump out of bed, grab a cup of coffee (that he made) and dance around in my skivvies because I know I have the whole house to myself for about four hours! For 23 years, we have both been happy about Sunday mornings.
Don't know what the wife prances around in on a Sunday morning but that is my ride time. If I didn't get out of the house and leave her to some time on her own- I think we would be Divorced by now.

Or that used to be the case- Now we have Grandchildren- The Sunday morning may change to a Saturday afternoon but we both still have "Our" time.
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Old 11-03-10, 05:40 PM   #19
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Actually, seriously, I did go out this morning and although the temperature was probably still in the 30s there was almost no wind. When I stopped for a break out on Prout's Neck it was so quiet you could almost hear the ocean breathing. Wore some tights, shorts and a light cashmere sweater between my poly shirt and my light Pearl Izumi jacket. Totally comfortable at a relatively easy 13 mph AVS for the 27 mile RT.

My wife is, as would be expected, easy to get along with and any suggestion that she has inhibited my riding would be totally inappropriate. I suspect she also likes the time to get on her decorating site and converse with those similarly interested.
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Old 11-07-10, 08:43 AM   #20
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Balance

It's all about balance, happiness and the ability to read and respect those around you. This is especially significant for those you love. Riding in the mornings might be a blessing or a curse as has been detailed in this thread. I'm sure you can read your partner and determine if a ride causes any ill feelings. The cups of coffee, house tasks and legitimate conversation are important components of our relationships. So is legitimate time to ourselves, our wellbeing and pursuit of joy.
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Old 11-07-10, 02:27 PM   #21
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Reading this thread made me smile - both the sentiment expressed in the op and also the funny & thoughtful replies.
50+ is a good place.
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Old 11-07-10, 06:29 PM   #22
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And here I thought "reflection" meant a full length mirror in the bedroom.
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Old 11-07-10, 11:17 PM   #23
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After retirement we moved to Arizona and now I can ride year around. 52 years and the wife loves it. Three days a week she is free of me, and I can enjoy guilt free time on the bike. Life is good. Usually in the summer we chase the 21 grand kids and 2.5 great grand kids from coast to coast in the RV.
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