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Old 11-03-10, 02:24 PM   #1
nedgoudy
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60, nearly broke, single and car free?

some of you may remember me. i have a rhoades car, an ez-1 recumbent, a Trek City bike and now a folding Dahon 7 speed, suitable for the bus. LA County allows this vehicle INSIDE all
buses and trains regardless of locale within LA county.

i was the fellow who chased a woman to Germany and thought i would live there for life til she went "hyper-critical" and got cold feet about marrying me even though my monthlies and my assets were 4 times her own.

so, i returned to the US and am finding it tough sledding. I have repairs to my car before i can even SMOG it, then $100 to Arnold for
CA tags and i just do not see re-registering this car. It is 20 year old Honda, in decent shape otherwise... but... I am hanging out with some fairly understanding liberal folks and have a girl friend if you can call her that. i find women over 50 so damned confounding. But why should they hang with a poor man, even if he is educated with advanced degrees. I figure maybe this woman will still be my friend even if i out myself as CAR FREE. (euphemism for women's ears for
HOBO JOE! i am afraid...) I took her to Los Angeles for a great time on the Bus and Lightrail this weekend but somehow i just do not see this continuing. Even then i had to drive my car 20 miles to catch the
Lightrail from her front door.

anyone out there have a sustainable social life and getting what he-she needs in the way of love and affection, a life, a future... by being car free? I am afraid i am at the point of going over the edge
into complete and utter loserville, what say you?

any helpful hints besides the CAR FREE forum? Most of those
dudes are stud muffins about 24 with more energy and good looks
than money and i just turned 60 and still have not found a suitable woman for a life partner. (see Ned playing the world's smallest fiddle for himself.... ;o)

ned
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Old 11-03-10, 02:42 PM   #2
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I had been wondering what became of you.

Well, I can sympathize with you in that I'm in a similar situation.

So far in Arkansas, it hasn't been too much of a problem. Other hurdles have been higher for me than being car-free. Mostly I have been concentrating on other issues though like improving my health, career and financial issues so I haven't had much time or resources for women.
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Old 11-03-10, 02:57 PM   #3
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I'm not car-free, but I hardly ever use the car. All my gf's have cars, and they usually drive where we need to go (or let me drive). I'm not rich, but I've got more dough than I know what to do with (been on two holidays by air, one by car, one business trip by air this year). (It helps when you're not tempted to buy n+1; I'm extremely happy with the simple bike I use most of the time and that has S&S couplers and travels with me wherever I go.) House is paid for, car has long been paid for, everything is paid automatically each month, I'm thinking of buying a boat to live on, I go to the opera and I never worry about getting partners to accompany me (I always buy two seats).

Rather than whine about what's wrong, I think it's much better to think about what's right, and to count your blessings, living in the wealthiest place in the world, with the most opportunity, free to do whatever you want within the law, as long as you don't hurt others. If the gf doesn't like that you're car-free, she's not worth it. Probably a gold-digger.

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Old 11-03-10, 05:58 PM   #4
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I'm 53 and have been car-free for over 10 years.

I find it really helps to weed out the gold diggers quickly. I'd rather stay single than have someone want me for my wallet and pension. I have two exes who were like that. Never again.
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Old 11-03-10, 06:05 PM   #5
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I don't think I'd discuss this with Dr. Hartman if I were you.
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Old 11-03-10, 06:42 PM   #6
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I don't think I'd discuss this with Dr. Hartman if I were you.
My kind of social worker.

For the OP, why not just rent a car for the night on the BIG dates?
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Old 11-03-10, 07:06 PM   #7
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I don't think I'd discuss this with Dr. Hartman if I were you.


Oh, and OP? When you meet a woman you like, tell you are proud to have made a life-style decision in being car-free, but DON'T suggest she have some "minor cosmetic alterations."
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Old 11-03-10, 10:09 PM   #8
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car free in LaLa land has gotta be a tough sell on middle age women. Good luck.
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Old 11-03-10, 10:18 PM   #9
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Very happily married for 56 years . . . to the same great little woman!
Seems like you may have some issues.
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Old 11-03-10, 10:21 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nedgoudy View Post
anyone out there have a sustainable social life and getting what he-she needs in the way of love and affection, a life, a future... by being car free?
Yes, me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nedgoudy View Post
helpful hints besides the CAR FREE forum? Most of those
dudes are stud muffins about 24 with more energy and good looks
than money
Um, what? I'm there, and I'm 55 and female. My impression is that young people are a minority in the car free forum.
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Old 11-03-10, 10:25 PM   #11
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I'm only 25 but I wouldn't want to associate with anybody who looked down on somebody for being car-free! Maybe you are just living in the wrong part of town / the wrong city / etc.? In Portland being car free = WAY more "cool" than driving around. Just some food for thought...
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Old 11-04-10, 06:31 AM   #12
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Move someplace where cars are not needed to go out. Inner city NY, DC, Portland come to mind.
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Old 11-04-10, 07:01 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miss kenton View Post


Oh, and OP? When you meet a woman you like, tell you are proud to have made a life-style decision in being car-free, but DON'T suggest she have some "minor cosmetic alterations."
Oh stop. I was just kidding, anyway.
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Old 11-04-10, 08:27 AM   #14
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zonatandem, Congrats on your marriage!

nedgoudy, Mid life crisis? If someone likes you, they like you. If they don't like you, someone probably will.

Brad
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Old 11-04-10, 08:28 AM   #15
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Where I live being "car free" usually means you have more than one DUI. Not having a car to go somewhere is a scary concept. I admire those who can make those kind of lifestyle changes.

When I was growing up my father thought I was too immature to drive at 16 and made me wait until I was 18 yrs old. I took my driver's test the same day as a brother who was 2 years younger. My brother drove me back to the testing office two weeks later where I passed the written test I failed the first time.

I was able to find girlfriends who drove cars during those hard times. Possibly due to my stunningly good looks and athletic abilities.
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Old 11-04-10, 01:46 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nedgoudy View Post
some of you may remember me. i have a rhoades car, an ez-1 recumbent, a Trek City bike and now a folding Dahon 7 speed, suitable for the bus. LA County allows this vehicle INSIDE all
buses and trains regardless of locale within LA county.

i was the fellow who chased a woman to Germany and thought i would live there for life til she went "hyper-critical" and got cold feet about marrying me even though my monthlies and my assets were 4 times her own.

so, i returned to the US and am finding it tough sledding. I have repairs to my car before i can even SMOG it, then $100 to Arnold for
CA tags and i just do not see re-registering this car. It is 20 year old Honda, in decent shape otherwise... but... I am hanging out with some fairly understanding liberal folks and have a girl friend if you can call her that. i find women over 50 so damned confounding. But why should they hang with a poor man, even if he is educated with advanced degrees. I figure maybe this woman will still be my friend even if i out myself as CAR FREE. (euphemism for women's ears for
HOBO JOE! i am afraid...) I took her to Los Angeles for a great time on the Bus and Lightrail this weekend but somehow i just do not see this continuing. Even then i had to drive my car 20 miles to catch the
Lightrail from her front door.

anyone out there have a sustainable social life and getting what he-she needs in the way of love and affection, a life, a future... by being car free? I am afraid i am at the point of going over the edge
into complete and utter loserville, what say you?

any helpful hints besides the CAR FREE forum? Most of those
dudes are stud muffins about 24 with more energy and good looks
than money and i just turned 60 and still have not found a suitable woman for a life partner. (see Ned playing the world's smallest fiddle for himself.... ;o)

ned
Sheesh, ya livin man!!

There are peeps that would give a million dollars to have a free and spirited mindset like yours..

I am 70, and I will tell you this, at 60, I was free, single, kinda broke. Well, I am still kinda broke, but life took a big turn toward big fun at 60.. What I am telling you is, there is a whole wonderful new world out there past 60 years old. And you got the wisdom to enjoy it. That is something we didn't, or at least I didn't have in my younger years.. Sheesh, I am looking for upgrade in fun at 70!! ..

Keep that free spirit, don't turn into a stuff shirt, and don't be afraid to go for it,...
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Old 11-04-10, 02:08 PM   #17
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Ned, Start bicycle touring.
Lots of us geeks and weirdos do it.
And it kind of gives you an excuse for being a loner.

PS Sounds like your stable includes a couple nice rides.
Be happy with that.

PPS And if you meet an attractive woman, invite her to your house so you can show her your chain whip. Or get into a long explanation of the benefits of synthetic lubricants.
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Old 11-05-10, 04:57 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nedgoudy View Post
anyone out there have a sustainable social life and getting what he-she needs in the way of love and affection, a life, a future... by being car free? I am afraid i am at the point of going over the edge
into complete and utter loserville, what say you?

any helpful hints besides the CAR FREE forum? Most of those
dudes are stud muffins about 24 with more energy and good looks
than money and i just turned 60 and still have not found a suitable woman for a life partner. (see Ned playing the world's smallest fiddle for himself.... ;o)

ned
Well, don't take offense to this but have you considered counseling? Usually health insurance will pay for it if you can get diagnosed with something in the DSM (which isn't hard). Tell them you have suicidal ideation (which could be true) and they won't ignore you. I really think you could benefit from professional help. You problems have nothing to do with being car-free.
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Old 11-06-10, 04:14 AM   #19
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I have to use a car for work. Bit difficult cycling to customers to sort their problems with all the Tools and Tech sheets to get them up and running again.

But I do not use a car outside work now. Trips to the town and I walk the 1 mile. Want to get out on the bike and I have a choice of several. If I have to travel more than 30 miles in my social life I either don't go or get a lift with someone else. So I class myself as Car free- whenever possible.

And Finances are going to be hard for a year or so. I retire in just over a year and the pension will pay for my needs- but not the occasional bill like House repairs or N+1 that may come along. So I am living very frugally right now. Seems as though I will have to work on for extra year so I can get enough money to retire safely.
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Old 11-06-10, 07:29 AM   #20
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Quote:
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Oh, and OP? When you meet a woman you like, tell you are proud to have made a life-style decision in being car-free, but DON'T suggest she have some "minor cosmetic alterations."
Would that be like a guy in a 6+X tee shirt with ( No Fat Chicks ) on the back of it.
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Old 11-06-10, 10:58 AM   #21
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Would that be like a guy in a 6+X tee shirt with ( No Fat Chicks ) on the back of it.
That would be one instance.
Disclaimer: My remark regarding alterations was not aimed specifically at the OP, just a general rule of thumb.
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Old 11-06-10, 11:58 PM   #22
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I have been 'car-free' for twenty-five years (how time flies). I just never really think about it - my city has a great transit system, and I bike or walk everywhere. It sure frees up cash for other stuff. Cars to me are just so... passe. Plus they're needlessly complicated and over-engineered and totally geeky. To me they're disposables to rent once in awhile to get to a trailhead, take a girl for a weekend trip, or maybe take a driving vacation as I did recently in Arizona.

As far as dating etc. goes, don't present yourself as 'car free' - it's really not a lifestyle, any more than labelling yourself 'smoke-free' or 'dolphin-friendly' - you're a guy and you are what you are, end of story. And make sure that she NEVER equates your not owning a car with being cheap. I must say though, from what I understand being without a car in LA may make you appear a little eccentric, especially to women of our generation!

Um, come to think of it, the 'bent and the Dahon are a little eccentric, too... women love SUV's, so I would suggest something with knobby tires and a few good stories of riding in South America or the Yukon. And for god's sake, no blinky lights on your helmet.

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Old 11-10-10, 10:55 PM   #23
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Seen this?
http://www.carfreela.com/
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Old 11-11-10, 04:48 AM   #24
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The guy doesn't need counselling. He's just got a downer on him at the moment. We all have them. He's not on his own. Finding a good woman these days is hard work. My sons say it's even worse when you are young as young women are only interested in how much money you can spend on them.
Evidently. Rich beats handsome.
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Old 11-11-10, 05:28 AM   #25
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if you had 4X the assets and monthly income of that gal in Germany, but are now nearly broke, she must have been near the poverty level! sounds like you got back to a better part of the world...

one thing you could do is move out of that depressing state of California (although i just paid $114 for a one-year tag for my truck here in lower, slower Flori-DUH [have to have a vehicle for hurricane evac] - i'm going to write the new governor and ask for a $20 rebate because i'll show him how to save a $1 million on DMV costs in 2012 [not mandate the issuance of a new plate and tags when renewing for two years])

:-)

seriously though, maybe you need a change of scenery and lifestyle?

keep riding!
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