DnvrFox

So what say you about "senior"/"55+" and similar communities?

Cooperatives/communal living??

Living with relatives? We have two friends who have apartments in or attached to children's homes. We know others (widows) living directly in kids homes.

Other thoughts?

Are you looking forward to changing your living arrangements, or have you already? Why?

Do they turn you off? Why?

Bicycling and 55+ communities? Are there some with more cycling than others, and, if so, why?

Are trails (long trails - like many miles) in or nearby? Should they be?

Lets hear your thoughts, as we have several 50+ participants living in or planning on 55+/Senior communities/similar, and I believe we have some who would not consider moving into one or other types of special arrangements.

bradtx

DF, Sort of a timely question for me as I was a single parent and am now empty nesting. Around here 55+ communities center around golf or boating and that's fine except I don't play golf and the Chris Craft hasn't been out for awhile. I might reconsider if there were a cycling oriented community, but it'd have to be one helluva community, as it is I'll stay where I'm at and continue turning one of the bedrooms into a bicycle room.

Brad

DnvrFox

Here are some items we considered when we moved 10 years ago to our "retirement" home.

1. My wife has and had bad knees - and, unknown to me, I was going to have a bad back. We were living in a 2 story with basement, and the stairs were - and in the future even more - a major problem. We wanted a "ranch" style.

2. We looked at a "retirement" 55+ community - in fact, my borther-in-law and sister-in-law moved into that community. Several things struck us:

* We have two sons in wheel chairs. The homes had narrow doors and entries and almost all had a lot of steps - which seemed really strange to us for a retirement community. The retirement community developers wanted $10,000 to make the home accessible - widen doors, ramp. This is way beyond their cost, and we had a definite feeling that they wanted their "active" retirement community - as shown in all their advertisements - to be devoid of wheel chairs and walkers.

* It occurred to us that folks buying into the community were all going to pretty much age together as a group in this just opening community - into oblivion, and it would get older and older seeming, at least until folks started dying off and new ones replaced them. This did not appeal to us.

* We greatly enjoy having a mix of ages - kids, young adults, families - around us, and this would in no way even be possible ina 55+ community.

* The so-called bicycle "trail system" was small and short and not interconnected with the Denver metro trail syatem - extremely important to both of us.

* From descriptions given by my brother-in-law, they mostly sit around and reminisce about all the money they once made and how they made it. Also, there is a distinct political view that permeated the environment, which would be far from my wife's and mine. I believe as folks get more and more isolated - and a 55+ community is definitely isolated - their views become more and more narrow. I know my mom watched all the TV scary community stuff, and got more and more scared in her retirement home environment.

So, we chose a home - open, spacious and wide doors already in the home and an additional $500 for a ramp, lots of mixed age families, retired folks and younger children, etc., interconnected to the huge metro Denver bicycle trail system, walking distance on a MUP (1 miles) to stores, the rec center, restaurants, medical care, etc. I love my man-cave in the basement, where my singing group practices, and from where I am typing. Our basement is 2,000 sq ft, with 1100 sq ft professionally finished. However, we could live on the first floor if needed, and I could not climb stairs.

We love our choice.

10 Wheels

I enjoy being with Young People.

I see enough of Old Faces when I look into a mirror.

NOS88

Will probably be looking to move to a single story home, but would want it close to sons. I'm also interested in much less yard than we currently have. I'd like a patio garden and some outside living space, but don't want to spend 90 to 100 hours a year mowing lawns and another 30+ hours shoveling snow, and another 15+ hours raking leaves. We both like being in neighborhoods with mixed aged residents. And we're negotiating this one. I'd like to be somewhere where we can walk or take affordable convenient public transportation to food markets and restaurants. While I currently cycle to many such places, my wife does not. But I sure would like to be less dependent on the car. One thing I would miss about where we are now is that I'm 1/4 mile from over 60 miles of great trail riding.

donheff

My wife and I just went through a nightmare with a very high end retirement community her father and step mother entered. We encouraged them to go there because it was very nice and had independent living, assisted living, and two Alzheimer's units. Her father was in the very early stages of Alzheimer's so that aspect was crucial. The place was fine while they remained in independent living but soon after he entered the Alzheimer's unit he had a violent incident with a woman who kept entering his room and sleeping in his bed (infuriating his wife and thus upsetting him). He shoved a table, slipped and fell injuring himself and had to go to an emergency room for stitches. The 55+ organization insisted that he spend a week in a hospital psych ward for evaluation. Despite the hospital's report that he was fine and could return (where he could be placed on a unit separate from the woman) the 55+ organization refused his re-admittance and forced us to place him in another Alzheimer's facility for "further evaluation." They then kept insisting his stay there needed to be extended. After two months we gave up and transferred him permanently - his wife is returning to her children in Michigan. The business people at this 55+ organization acted reprehensibly. The whole affair was a horrifying glimpse of the worst that can happen when you place your lives in trust to others.

BengeBoy 

I like the plan our next-door neighbors implemented a few years ago several years after retirement.

They sold their 4-bedroom suburban house and bought two condo units next to each other in a suburban condo tower, walking distances to shops, restaurants, recreation. One unit -- the one they live in -- is two bedrooms and a studio. The condo they bought next to it is a small-ish one bedroom. They're renting it out now, but their longer term plan is that some day when they need it they'll hire a housekeeper and/or nurse's aide to live in it. Their intention is to stay out of "the home" forever, or as long as possible.

My wife spent the past few years managing affairs for my mother-in-law, who just died last month. She stayed in her own home her entire life, and as her health worsened we ended up lining up more help for her. First it was just someone to cook and clean. Then it was someone to spend several hours a day with her. The last few months of her life it involved into almost round-the-clock assistance. In the end she never moved out of her own home, she remained connected to her community, friends and church; she died exactly how she wanted to, and the total expense and stress to the family was less than moving into assisted living (which she was determined not to do).

These two examples will inform our thinking as the time comes.

stapfam

Seems to be that when you get old over here- the kids put you in an old peoples home. Don't know why as they have to sell your home to pay for it.

Or at least that seems to be the popular belief on what happens over here. I do not know anyone that has gone into one of these homes but I do know of many elderly retired people that live within a short distance of their kids. Both my two girls live within 1/2 mile of us and they are only a shout away if necessary.

But we also have small communities of retirement homes where you buy the house and every one around you is of a like mind. A resident warden is on hand if required and they seem to work well. Don't think I would like to live in one though as every one else would be just as grumpy as I can get.

My next door neighbour died this year at age of 88. He was blind- had a hip problem and annoyed the neighbours by learning to play the saxaphone. He was fantastic and every day he used to walk his guide dog for about 3 miles. His neighbours looked after the jobs he had problems with and on the hip problem--He had a stair lift fitted. He was active right up to the end and always said that he did not want to live anywhere but in his own home with the neighbours he had. The only concession he made to his disability and age was that he had a "Carer" come in twice a week to get his shopping and a bit of cleaning. The rest he could manage and if he couldn't he only had to ask a neighbour to help him.

BluesDawg

People try to p-p-put us d-d-down
Just because we g-g-g-get around
Things they do look awful c-c-c-cold
you know the next line

Shifty

My parents lived in one for a couple years, only.

Our observations were that on the surface it all looked wonderful, below the surface was not as pretty.

1. So many rules and codes, very restrictive when they were looking for more freedom.

2. Everyone there monitored the rules and were quick to report even the slightest, or perceived infractions.

Parents were very happy after they went back to normal living.

DnvrFox

My mom and step-dad - living in an upsacle "retirement home apartment" - had a psychotic person living above them who imagined they were making lots of noises in the middle of the night - laughable as they retired about 9:00 pm.

He would call them to complain, and complained to the management. He would knock on their door in the middle of the night.

The sad thing was that everyone believed him, and my mom and step-dad were snubbed as a result.

My step-dad documented everything, put a block on the phone, tape recorded some stuff, and finally someone believed them, and the guy above was moved to a better environment.

The Weak Link

I know some folks my age who live in that whoop-de-do community in central Florida. I forget the name. Maybe Natalie Coughlin. But where was I? Oh yeah. They absolutely love it down there, playing golf, tootling around in golf carts (no cars are allowed), arts and crafts all the time.

I admit it sounds nice, especially this time of year. But I wouldn't want to move away from my kids and grandkids.

Louis

"Average" people in my age group creep me out. I have no desire to live in that kind of community.

rnorris

I'm not a fan of age-segregated communities myself, although there are plenty of people that seem to like them. My personal belief is that it's a healthier situation when people interact with others of all ages, so that each group is reminded of the particular needs of people at the other end of the age spectrum, and are aware of the benefits that interacting with them can provide. Although eligible, I wouldn't fit in well with the retirement communities I've seen. Would be all over the place on my bike or running on foot- too much like the kids that most people in that situation aren't interested in having around.

CACycling

When my parents hit their mid-60s, they decided to dump the family home and move to a retirement community nearby. They had a unit in escrow when a condo across the street from us came on the market. We took them to the open house after church that Sunday to check it out. Turned out the realtor was also the next door neighbor. They hit it off with her and her husband right away and the condo was actually a bit larger than the family home but without all the outside maintenance. They made an offer on the spot and cancelled the escrow on the retirement community. They were much happier being around people of varying ages instead of all retirees. The community also offerred a lot of ammenities that made it great when the grandchildren and great-grandchildren visited that would have been lacking in a senior complex.

lhbernhardt

I live in a large (195-unit) townhouse complex. Lots of young families with kids live here, so it's all ages, all socio-economic classes. I like the diversity, I like dodging past kids when I come in on the bike. There's a certain amount of security with all the kids around. Can't imagine living in a community with a bunch of cantankerous old fogies like me.

L.

ModeratedUser150120149

Ghettos are ghettos. Whether based on age, race, ethnicity, or ? they are ghettos. Whether the inhabitants have been pushed there by others, have been forced to give up on community life and have retreated to the ghetto, have been forced there by economics, or have been conned into the place by clever marketing they still suffer all the historic ills of the ghetto.

skilsaw

A new tenant at the senior citizen's facility asked the frisky 85 year old woman what the difference was between the 80 and 90 year old men.

"Depends" she said.

TTNC

I have lived in an over 55 community for the past four years and enjoyed it very much. Just moved out because my son and his children needed a home so we moved to a a larger home to accomodate the three of them. The community was very relaxing, paved streets with a 15 mph speed limit (great for biking). There is a large pond for fishing, a clubhouse for socializing and swimming and a very quiet neighborhood back off the busy highways and traffic. You buy the home and lease the land. Here is a pic of the house. By the way, if someone wants a great buy in coastal North Carolina they can

pck this one up for $90,000.00. It is a 2 bedroom 2 bath home with large kitchen, nice dining room, large laundry room, 2 car carport, large front porch, large deck and a 12X12 storage building.

cyclinfool

Hopefully in a few years we will move into a smaller house, lower taxes and less maintenance. If I can't find what I want I will build it. It won't be in a "retirement" community but it will be near doctors, hospitals and the shops we need on a regular basis.

Bud Bent

We downsized last year in preparation for retirement, but not to a retirement center. We sold our larger house in Arlington and bought half a duplex in Crowley. I had enough equity in the old house to pay off the duplex.

It's small, 1150 square feet, but with two bedrooms and two baths, so if someone spends the night, there's a bed for them. It has a two car garage, so there's plenty of room for my boat and bicycles. I built a 10 x 10 storage building on the 10 x 10 concrete slab in the back yard. Because it's a duplex, the yard is small, but my dogs are chihuahuas. There's plenty of room for them to run. This place was just three years old when I bought it last year.

Crowley is on the edge of the Metroplex, with quiet roads to the south and west. My wife finally started riding again after all her treatments. She's paranoid of traffic, and wouldn't ride the roads near our old house, but loves the roads around here, and routinely starts her rides from home. It's also just 12 miles from where I work in Fort Worth, so I've been commuting by bike since we moved here. I enjoy riding to work so much, I may actually keep my present job longer than I'd planned. The young couple that own the other half of the duplex live in it, but pretty much all of our other neighbors are renters, mostly young and with children.

This place works very well for us, and I like something like this, small, low maintenance, fairly new, but more like a house than an apartment or condo. I don't understand why retirement age people stay in huge, multiple story places. The lung cancer support forums I still frequent are filled with people who can't navigate the stairs they still have in their houses. Even my sister and her husband are still in a two story house that now needs lots of work. They've completely abandoned the upstairs. This place should work well for my wife and I, even when we become feeble.

cranky old dude

I lean more towards an apartment attached to one of the daughter's homes. We would be active contributers to the household finances and do a fair share of the chores...child care, yard work, errands etc. My wife likes the idea, now to sell at least one of the daughter's on the plan.

As far as retirement communities...not for me. I hate old people!!

The Weak Link

Where exactly?

Mojo Slim

If you had told me even 5 years ago that I would live in a Del Webb Sun City I would have said you were crazy. We visited a 55+ community in AZ where friends moved and were turned off by the oxygen bottles that everyone dragged with them to the restaurant. But . . . .

After 36 years in the mountains in a community of 5000 people, we moved to Lincoln Hills, in Lincoln CA. It does have two 18-hole golf courses, but we haven't played in 3 years. There are two fitness centers, which we fully utilize, 4 pools (indoor and outdoor) and indoor walking track, a softball stadium, tennis, bocce ball, etc etc etc. Our "dues" are going up to $105 per month. There are two pages full of clubs. Everything from Mah Jong to Hot Rodders to the LINCOLN HILLS CYCLISTS. The club has 150 members with 9 different sub-groups, all different levels, most ride 3X a week. There are 28 miles of paths and trails within Lincoln Hills (6800 houses), but we seldom ride on them.

I usually ride with the #2 group. Our usual ride is 45-60 miles. We are perfectly located to ride hillshillshills or flatter rides out into the rice fields or along the levees. We smooth country and bumby back roads, suburban streets with good bike lanes, and bike paths that take us under freeways to the next bike path. We have done centuries and just completed a grueling 70-mile jaunt Monday and rode 360 miles from here to Monterey in September. I will easily ride 7000 miles this year. At 63, I am one of the younger persons in my group.

I do miss being around young people and more people of color. But many of us in the "old folks home" have gotten involved with the local school (coaching, tutoring). But we are near our children and grandchildren. Most of the houses are one of several shades of beige, but there are no dead cars on the lawns, no dead lawns to be seen or gun shots to be heard. We are 30 minutes from Downtown Sacramento.

I'm guessing each place has its own personality. Once a year, our club hosts a bike ride/BBQ with a neighboring Sun City. We lead rides of 10-15 miles, 20 miles and 40 miles. No one from there signs up for the 40-miler.

My wife (61) and I consider ourselves "young" and are in good health. We really do love it here. Gee, maybe the Association should pay me . . . . .

DnvrFox

A caution

One of my close friends had an apartment attached to the kids home. The man got a job transfer, they had to move and sell the house and attached apartment, of course, in a downmarket, lost a lot of money and used the rest of their savings buying a condo to live in.