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Old 05-14-11, 07:34 PM   #1
Kurt Erlenbach
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Taunting the flat tire demons

The other day I realized I've not had a flat since sometime last fall, over 3k miles ago. No special tires or tubes. Since then, I've started worrying about it, figuring that thinking about it would jinx it. But today, I decided to mock the flat tire gods. There is no such thing as a jinx. So, yeah, I've not had a flat, and I'm proud of it. To the flat tire gods, I cast ye out. My tires are strong, they are invincible, they are woman. To the flat tire demons, I fart in your general direction.
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Old 05-14-11, 07:59 PM   #2
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Bad ju ju.... very bad! You must never speak of this again! I disavow all knowledge and responsibility for this heresy!
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Old 05-14-11, 08:43 PM   #3
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To the flat tire demons, I fart in your general direction.
Your mother is a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. Watch out for holy hand-grenades Kurt!
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Old 05-14-11, 11:21 PM   #4
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I think the Flat fairies have shares in Puncture repair kits and I don't mind contributing to their funds occasionally. In fact to appease them- I think I will go out and buy a couple more for the summer after Kerlenbachs blatant mocking of their boss.
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Old 05-15-11, 05:33 AM   #5
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I'm thinking they must not have goat heads in Florida.
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Old 05-15-11, 06:02 AM   #6
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Not only did you post your no-flat diatribe, you posted it in the 50+ forum, dooming ALL of us to a similar fate of a record number of garage and on-the-road flats. Shame on you.
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Old 05-15-11, 06:11 AM   #7
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Michigan doesn't have goad-heads, but there are plenty of other tools for the Flat Fairies(tm) to utilize. Over the years, most of my visitations have resulted in the destruction of the tire; so I have a healthy respect for them and don't do anything to make them angry.
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Old 05-15-11, 07:15 AM   #8
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Michigan doesn't have goad-heads, but there are plenty of other tools for the Flat Fairies(tm) to utilize. Over the years, most of my visitations have resulted in the destruction of the tire; so I have a healthy respect for them and don't do anything to make them angry.
I've seen a few smelly deer heads in the ditches.
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Old 05-15-11, 07:37 AM   #9
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I've seen a few smelly deer heads in the ditches.
In Missouri somebody will have cut off the antlers and left the rest.
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Old 05-15-11, 08:05 AM   #10
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Bad timing, Kerlenbach. I'm about to take delivery of my first ever set of tubulars. A flat means a full tire replacement. If I get one right away, I'm sending you the bill!
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Old 05-15-11, 09:07 AM   #11
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OP,

I was where you are two weeks ago, including the fact that I commented on "no flats over the past several thousand miles."

Since then, I've had two flats and have replaced a tire.

You have been warned.
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Old 05-15-11, 09:33 AM   #12
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Bad timing, Kerlenbach. I'm about to take delivery of my first ever set of tubulars. A flat means a full tire replacement. If I get one right away, I'm sending you the bill!
Ohhhhh. And I'm thinking Phoenix surely must be goat head land. Good call on giving Kerlenbach time to save up for your replacement tires.
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Old 05-15-11, 09:35 AM   #13
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OP,

I was where you are two weeks ago, including the fact that I commented on "no flats over the past several thousand miles."

Since then, I've had two flats and have replaced a tire.

You have been warned.
I won't say, "Serves you right." - Oops - I just said it.
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Old 05-15-11, 10:24 AM   #14
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Bad timing, Kerlenbach. I'm about to take delivery of my first ever set of tubulars. A flat means a full tire replacement. If I get one right away, I'm sending you the bill!
I did that back in the 80's--- Once, Never again,(think PITA,covers it)never figured out the advantages of it,,,
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Old 05-15-11, 11:34 AM   #15
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Ohhhhh. And I'm thinking Phoenix surely must be goat head land. Good call on giving Kerlenbach time to save up for your replacement tires.
I often think Phoenix is the 'Garden of Eden' for goatheads... the source of all goat-heads everywhere.
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Old 05-15-11, 12:01 PM   #16
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I'm thinking that the OP has decided to take one for the team. By going out on a limb with a fully functioning and rev'd up chain saw he will draw in all the flats the rest of us were destine to have this year. Kerlenbach - You are my hero, if we had one I would bestow upon you the BF50+ medal of honor.

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Old 05-15-11, 02:03 PM   #17
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Continental Gatorskins. The flat tire demons really hate these.
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Old 05-15-11, 02:07 PM   #18
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Continental Gatorskins. The flat tire demons really hate these.
The goatheads just love the taste of the Gatorskins, and eat the Armadillos for dessert.
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Old 05-15-11, 03:02 PM   #19
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In Missouri somebody will have cut off the antlers and left the rest.
Same here. Every sportsman carries a hacksaw in his vehicle for that purpose. Gotta have some rattlin' anters.
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Old 05-15-11, 03:30 PM   #20
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I'm thinking they must not have goat heads in Florida.
No, but we do have sharks. Time to cue up the Jaws theme.......
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Old 05-15-11, 06:43 PM   #21
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KA-b-o-o-m!!!
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Old 05-15-11, 08:29 PM   #22
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24 hours since posting this, and still no flats.
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Old 05-16-11, 07:11 AM   #23
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24 hours since posting this, and still no flats.
The relevance of your is statement is diminished, although not entirely, if you didn't ride the past 24 hrs.
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Old 05-16-11, 10:23 AM   #24
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Yesterday my oldest son sent me a text message saying that he got his first flat of the season. When I didn't respond, he called to ask if I was OK. I tried to explain to him that there are somethings in life better left undiscussed, because they'll come back to bite you in the backside. He just laughed and said, is this a generational thing? I responded that he would find out soon enough. About 15 minutes later he called again to say he got a pinch flat inflating the replaced inner tube, because he forgot to make sure it wasn't seated under the tire bead. Being a good father, I didn't laugh, but since he couldn't see me, I did grin a bit.
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Old 05-16-11, 12:31 PM   #25
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I made the mistake of telling someone, last week, that I hadn't had a flat in about 3 months. I got really lucky. I went out and rode 25 miles on Saturday morning with no problems. Sunday evening, about 5:00, I went down to put Powerade in one of my bottles to get them chilled for my 7:30 ride, and I spotted my flat back tire. It had a split in the tube about 3 inches long, on the side next to the rim. the rim tape was good and it looks like it just decided to split along one of the molding seams. I was so lucky to have it wait until after I finished my Saturday ride and to catch it before it put me behind on getting ready for my Sunday ride.

I don't expect the other 2 that will happen, in rapid succession, to be so easy to deal with.
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