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  1. #1
    Senior Member Kurt Erlenbach's Avatar
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    Taunting the flat tire demons

    The other day I realized I've not had a flat since sometime last fall, over 3k miles ago. No special tires or tubes. Since then, I've started worrying about it, figuring that thinking about it would jinx it. But today, I decided to mock the flat tire gods. There is no such thing as a jinx. So, yeah, I've not had a flat, and I'm proud of it. To the flat tire gods, I cast ye out. My tires are strong, they are invincible, they are woman. To the flat tire demons, I fart in your general direction.

  2. #2
    Council of the Elders billydonn's Avatar
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    Bad ju ju.... very bad! You must never speak of this again! I disavow all knowledge and responsibility for this heresy!

    There is a time to resign oneself
    to old age and infirmity. You first.
    My Cycling Blogspot

  3. #3
    Senior Member Allegheny Jet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerlenbach View Post
    To the flat tire demons, I fart in your general direction.
    Your mother is a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. Watch out for holy hand-grenades Kurt!
    oldschool areodynamic brick

  4. #4
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    I think the Flat fairies have shares in Puncture repair kits and I don't mind contributing to their funds occasionally. In fact to appease them- I think I will go out and buy a couple more for the summer after Kerlenbachs blatant mocking of their boss.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  5. #5
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    I'm thinking they must not have goat heads in Florida.

  6. #6
    Senior Member DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Not only did you post your no-flat diatribe, you posted it in the 50+ forum, dooming ALL of us to a similar fate of a record number of garage and on-the-road flats. Shame on you.

  7. #7
    Senior Member BlazingPedals's Avatar
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    Michigan doesn't have goad-heads, but there are plenty of other tools for the Flat Fairies(tm) to utilize. Over the years, most of my visitations have resulted in the destruction of the tire; so I have a healthy respect for them and don't do anything to make them angry.

  8. #8
    Senior Member OldsCOOL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlazingPedals View Post
    Michigan doesn't have goad-heads, but there are plenty of other tools for the Flat Fairies(tm) to utilize. Over the years, most of my visitations have resulted in the destruction of the tire; so I have a healthy respect for them and don't do anything to make them angry.
    I've seen a few smelly deer heads in the ditches.
    Having a flat tire as part of the total cycling experience is highly overrated. Knowing how to fix one quickly is not.

    '85 Trek 460 road racer

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  9. #9
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OldsCOOL View Post
    I've seen a few smelly deer heads in the ditches.
    In Missouri somebody will have cut off the antlers and left the rest.

  10. #10
    I need speed AzTallRider's Avatar
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    Bad timing, Kerlenbach. I'm about to take delivery of my first ever set of tubulars. A flat means a full tire replacement. If I get one right away, I'm sending you the bill!
    "If you're riding less than 18 MPH up a 2% grade please tell people Coggan is coaching you."

  11. #11
    enthusiast JamieElenbaas's Avatar
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    OP,

    I was where you are two weeks ago, including the fact that I commented on "no flats over the past several thousand miles."

    Since then, I've had two flats and have replaced a tire.

    You have been warned.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzTallRider View Post
    Bad timing, Kerlenbach. I'm about to take delivery of my first ever set of tubulars. A flat means a full tire replacement. If I get one right away, I'm sending you the bill!
    Ohhhhh. And I'm thinking Phoenix surely must be goat head land. Good call on giving Kerlenbach time to save up for your replacement tires.

  13. #13
    Senior Member DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JamieElenbaas View Post
    OP,

    I was where you are two weeks ago, including the fact that I commented on "no flats over the past several thousand miles."

    Since then, I've had two flats and have replaced a tire.

    You have been warned.
    I won't say, "Serves you right." - Oops - I just said it.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by AzTallRider View Post
    Bad timing, Kerlenbach. I'm about to take delivery of my first ever set of tubulars. A flat means a full tire replacement. If I get one right away, I'm sending you the bill!
    I did that back in the 80's--- Once, Never again,(think PITA,covers it)never figured out the advantages of it,,,
    Bud

  15. #15
    I need speed AzTallRider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retro Grouch View Post
    Ohhhhh. And I'm thinking Phoenix surely must be goat head land. Good call on giving Kerlenbach time to save up for your replacement tires.
    I often think Phoenix is the 'Garden of Eden' for goatheads... the source of all goat-heads everywhere.
    "If you're riding less than 18 MPH up a 2% grade please tell people Coggan is coaching you."

  16. #16
    gone ride'n cyclinfool's Avatar
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    I'm thinking that the OP has decided to take one for the team. By going out on a limb with a fully functioning and rev'd up chain saw he will draw in all the flats the rest of us were destine to have this year. Kerlenbach - You are my hero, if we had one I would bestow upon you the BF50+ medal of honor.

    moh.jpg
    "Of all the things I ever lost I miss my mind the most." Mark Twain
    If all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.

  17. #17
    Senior Member trackhub's Avatar
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    Continental Gatorskins. The flat tire demons really hate these.
    "The People will believe what the Media tells them they believe". George Orwell.

  18. #18
    Senior Member DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trackhub View Post
    Continental Gatorskins. The flat tire demons really hate these.
    The goatheads just love the taste of the Gatorskins, and eat the Armadillos for dessert.

  19. #19
    Senior Member OldsCOOL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retro Grouch View Post
    In Missouri somebody will have cut off the antlers and left the rest.
    Same here. Every sportsman carries a hacksaw in his vehicle for that purpose. Gotta have some rattlin' anters.
    Having a flat tire as part of the total cycling experience is highly overrated. Knowing how to fix one quickly is not.

    '85 Trek 460 road racer

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  20. #20
    Stand and Deliver FLvector's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retro Grouch View Post
    I'm thinking they must not have goat heads in Florida.
    No, but we do have sharks. Time to cue up the Jaws theme.......

  21. #21
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    KA-b-o-o-m!!!

  22. #22
    Senior Member Kurt Erlenbach's Avatar
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    24 hours since posting this, and still no flats.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Allegheny Jet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kerlenbach View Post
    24 hours since posting this, and still no flats.
    The relevance of your is statement is diminished, although not entirely, if you didn't ride the past 24 hrs.
    oldschool areodynamic brick

  24. #24
    Senior Member NOS88's Avatar
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    Yesterday my oldest son sent me a text message saying that he got his first flat of the season. When I didn't respond, he called to ask if I was OK. I tried to explain to him that there are somethings in life better left undiscussed, because they'll come back to bite you in the backside. He just laughed and said, is this a generational thing? I responded that he would find out soon enough. About 15 minutes later he called again to say he got a pinch flat inflating the replaced inner tube, because he forgot to make sure it wasn't seated under the tire bead. Being a good father, I didn't laugh, but since he couldn't see me, I did grin a bit.
    A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
    Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831

  25. #25
    Senior Member ScottStr's Avatar
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    I made the mistake of telling someone, last week, that I hadn't had a flat in about 3 months. I got really lucky. I went out and rode 25 miles on Saturday morning with no problems. Sunday evening, about 5:00, I went down to put Powerade in one of my bottles to get them chilled for my 7:30 ride, and I spotted my flat back tire. It had a split in the tube about 3 inches long, on the side next to the rim. the rim tape was good and it looks like it just decided to split along one of the molding seams. I was so lucky to have it wait until after I finished my Saturday ride and to catch it before it put me behind on getting ready for my Sunday ride.

    I don't expect the other 2 that will happen, in rapid succession, to be so easy to deal with.

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