The mental game
#1
Senior Member
Thread Starter
The mental game
My wife(1.5 years before she is legal here), like to ride, and we ride often. She rides well, and is an LCI. The problem is hills. I see a hill and think of it as a challenge, she sees a hill and thinks "I'm never gonna make it up that hill." She is defeated at the bottom. Last night we where on a road that had some rollers, one spot as you went down hill, you couldn't see the top of the next hill because of low hanging branches. It looked like a wall of pavement. Before we even got to the bottom of the she said she couldn't make it up and would meet me at the top. She was planning on walking. Turns out it wasn't a big deal, and she didn't even have to down shift to get over!
Any body have any tips on how to get her out of the "there's a hill, I'm gonna die!" mindset? It would make a whole new set of roads available for us to ride together.
BTW, on the flat it's not unusual for her to drop me.
Any body have any tips on how to get her out of the "there's a hill, I'm gonna die!" mindset? It would make a whole new set of roads available for us to ride together.
BTW, on the flat it's not unusual for her to drop me.
#2
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,489
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 6 Times
in
2 Posts
Perhaps offer the following for thought?
If you suffer, thank God! -- it is a sure sign that you are alive. --Elbert Hubbard
Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you...If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it. --Emmet Fox
The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it. --Helen Keller
Pain is never permanent. --Teresa of Avila
If you suffer, thank God! -- it is a sure sign that you are alive. --Elbert Hubbard
Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you...If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it. --Emmet Fox
The world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it. --Helen Keller
Pain is never permanent. --Teresa of Avila
__________________
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831
#3
just keep riding
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Milledgeville, Georgia
Posts: 13,560
Bikes: 2018 Black Mountain Cycles MCD,2017 Advocate Cycles Seldom Seen Drop Bar, 2017 Niner Jet 9 Alloy, 2015 Zukas custom road, 2003 KHS Milano Tandem, 1986 Nishiki Cadence rigid MTB, 1980ish Fuji S-12S
Mentioned: 15 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 173 Post(s)
Liked 33 Times
in
22 Posts
I think I can. I think I can. -- the little engine who could
#4
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: B.C.
Posts: 189
Bikes: ritcheys{2** rm blizzard Geo elrick drop frame and acollection of parts bikes in waiting
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
mental game
the bicycle allows one ,self-propelled self-empowerment ! Google bicycle zen proverb ,immerse yourself in the experience of cycling.P.S. it gets easier.
#5
Senior Member
I look at a hill and break it down to figure out how I will climb it. Some one can just blast up. Others especially those with changes in gradient require a varied pace approach. The thing about hills is that often they are not as bad as they look. So don't convince yourself that you are beaten before you start. There is plenty of time to be beaten when you are beaten.
#6
Ride like the wind!
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 173
Bikes: Trek 700 wsd
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
May I suggest that you don't just assume it is all "mental?"
When she fails on a hill, stop immediately and start assessing what happened. Was she too out of breath? Knees hurt? Thigh muscles feeling too weak? Once you know what caused her to actually stop peddling, look at what can fix it. For example, if her thighs felt too weak to keep going, perhaps she needs to do strengthening exercises specifically for them, or perhaps she is not using the gears optimally and therefore working too hard on the hill.
If you will listen to her and help her with changes to address problems, then any "mental" issues will take care of themselves.
Hope this helps!
When she fails on a hill, stop immediately and start assessing what happened. Was she too out of breath? Knees hurt? Thigh muscles feeling too weak? Once you know what caused her to actually stop peddling, look at what can fix it. For example, if her thighs felt too weak to keep going, perhaps she needs to do strengthening exercises specifically for them, or perhaps she is not using the gears optimally and therefore working too hard on the hill.
If you will listen to her and help her with changes to address problems, then any "mental" issues will take care of themselves.
Hope this helps!
#8
Idiot Emeritus
There's a confidence factor in there, too. She may improve her "mental picture" once she gets some climbs under her belt.
Then again, she just may not like the feel of lactic acid flooding her legs!
Has she explained why she doesn't like to climb?
Then again, she just may not like the feel of lactic acid flooding her legs!
Has she explained why she doesn't like to climb?
__________________
"Can you add a signature line please? The lack of words makes me think you are being held hostage and being told to be quiet"
"Can you add a signature line please? The lack of words makes me think you are being held hostage and being told to be quiet"
#9
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lebanon (Liberty Hill), CT
Posts: 8,473
Bikes: CAAD 12, MASI Gran Criterium S, Colnago World Cup CX & Guru steel
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1743 Post(s)
Liked 1,281 Times
in
740 Posts
My problem is that my S.O. never wants to ride with our club because she can't keep up. That's not true but it's what she believes. As a result she doesn't do the Saturday group rides and that keeps me from doing them as well. This year she's barely riding because she doesn't feel confident and doesn't ride and doesn't get in shape and thus fulfills her "prophecy." Nothing I say helps.
#10
Plays in traffic
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 6,971
Bikes: 1996 Litespeed Classic, 2006 Trek Portland, 2013 Ribble Winter/Audax, 2016 Giant Talon 4
Mentioned: 21 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 76 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 14 Times
in
9 Posts
At the risk of sounding misogynist, it may be a Venus vs. Mars communications matter.
Women seldom say what they really mean. They'll approach a subject obliquely in order to minimize the risk of hurt feelings.
In bruce19's case, she may be saying she can't keep up with the club, when what she really means is that she can't keep up with you when your adrenaline pumps and you head off with the break on the club rides.
Pure speculation, but I'm citing that as an example of the way it works.
Back to the climbing thing, she may be saying she can't climb, when what she means is she doesn't like to climb. Not everyone enjoys the challenge of the climb. I know guys who will ride ten miles out of their way to avoid a 200 foot climb. They just plain don't like it. But guys will say so directly.
Women seldom say what they really mean. They'll approach a subject obliquely in order to minimize the risk of hurt feelings.
In bruce19's case, she may be saying she can't keep up with the club, when what she really means is that she can't keep up with you when your adrenaline pumps and you head off with the break on the club rides.
Pure speculation, but I'm citing that as an example of the way it works.
Back to the climbing thing, she may be saying she can't climb, when what she means is she doesn't like to climb. Not everyone enjoys the challenge of the climb. I know guys who will ride ten miles out of their way to avoid a 200 foot climb. They just plain don't like it. But guys will say so directly.
#11
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 50
Bikes: 7.2FX
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
hills, group rides etc.
Bruce19 and I have something in common, although I'm just starting to enjoy riding myself.
My wife won't ride with me because she knows how hard I push myself and thinks that I will make the ride hard on her. She needs to do it but she won't.
I need to climb hills more and improve in every area. A couple of weeks ago, I had to bail out of a group ride because I couldn't keep up. By the time I rode back to my car, I had done less than half of my regular/everyday ride but I was so physically stressed, I had to rest for about 10 minutes before I could drive. So, I know something about the pressure of rising beyond my own ability and I don't intend to take a ride with a group again (except for a charity event or something where I can get by on moderate effort).
As to defeated at the bottom of a hill, if I leave my driveway with the intention of taking hills, I go straight for the nearby hills and do it until I'm satisfied. Then, the rest of the ride (whatever my goals are that day) is on my normal routes. I enjoy it for what it is.
When I am not interested in burning my thighs to juice and searing the inside of my lungs, listening to my hear rate alarm incessantly blowing its little beep into my ear, I just ride away from them, and at those times, if I unexpectedly find myself at the bottom of a hill looking up, I dread it like going to a hospital (where I am almost certain they will kill me).
Either way, hills are pain. Pain is not my goal. It's just an unavoidable consequence of life. Glad to have it.
My wife won't ride with me because she knows how hard I push myself and thinks that I will make the ride hard on her. She needs to do it but she won't.
I need to climb hills more and improve in every area. A couple of weeks ago, I had to bail out of a group ride because I couldn't keep up. By the time I rode back to my car, I had done less than half of my regular/everyday ride but I was so physically stressed, I had to rest for about 10 minutes before I could drive. So, I know something about the pressure of rising beyond my own ability and I don't intend to take a ride with a group again (except for a charity event or something where I can get by on moderate effort).
As to defeated at the bottom of a hill, if I leave my driveway with the intention of taking hills, I go straight for the nearby hills and do it until I'm satisfied. Then, the rest of the ride (whatever my goals are that day) is on my normal routes. I enjoy it for what it is.
When I am not interested in burning my thighs to juice and searing the inside of my lungs, listening to my hear rate alarm incessantly blowing its little beep into my ear, I just ride away from them, and at those times, if I unexpectedly find myself at the bottom of a hill looking up, I dread it like going to a hospital (where I am almost certain they will kill me).
Either way, hills are pain. Pain is not my goal. It's just an unavoidable consequence of life. Glad to have it.
#13
Idiot Emeritus
If you want to know what I'm thinking, ask me - I'll tell you. Usually. I mean it! ;~)
__________________
"Can you add a signature line please? The lack of words makes me think you are being held hostage and being told to be quiet"
"Can you add a signature line please? The lack of words makes me think you are being held hostage and being told to be quiet"
#14
Starting over
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis
Posts: 4,077
Bikes: 1990 Trek 1500; 2006 Gary Fisher Marlin; 2011 Cannondale Synapse Alloy 105; 2012 Catrike Trail
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 10 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times
in
3 Posts
Experience. That's all that's ever worked for me. People can give all kinds of advice on how to approach hills, mentally as well as physically, but until you get a lot of them under your belt, it can be hard to face one with a positive attitude.
One thing I learned a long time ago about rollers, though, is that the coming hill always looks much worse from the top of the current hill. Much worse. Once you get to the bottom of the first hill, the second one looks a lot more manageable. Once you get that through your head, you can approach them with a little more positive spin.
One thing I learned a long time ago about rollers, though, is that the coming hill always looks much worse from the top of the current hill. Much worse. Once you get to the bottom of the first hill, the second one looks a lot more manageable. Once you get that through your head, you can approach them with a little more positive spin.
#15
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 115
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
I'm female and agree with your wife when I see hills, I'm gonna die, too. I would give up quickly and start walking. I finally realized that that wasn't helping my hill climbing abilities. So, now I tell myself, I'm going to RIDE up that hill, even if I have to stop along the way and take breaks, because I'll still be strengthening the climbing muscles more doing it that way than getting off and walking. And next time, I'll be a little stronger and maybe will take one less break getting up it.
You also might try riding the same hill over the next few weeks instead of new ones all the time. Once she gets to know it personally, she will be able to gauge her progress up it. And if she knows it only took her three breaks to get up it last time, but she still made it and she's still alive, she might be willing to push herself a little more.
Works for me!
Tabriz
You also might try riding the same hill over the next few weeks instead of new ones all the time. Once she gets to know it personally, she will be able to gauge her progress up it. And if she knows it only took her three breaks to get up it last time, but she still made it and she's still alive, she might be willing to push herself a little more.
Works for me!
Tabriz
#16
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
Posts: 6,489
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 6 Times
in
2 Posts
I think this is a really good point. A former female riding companion was in remarkably good shape (or so we all thought). She was strong, trim, flexible and could ride for hours at a time. However, hills just took it out of her. Turns out she had a leaky aortic valve. Normal riding nver pushed her to the point where the leak was an issue. However, when she got into the red zone with her heart rate, the leak was significant in terms of her ability to deliver oxygen to the parts of her body that needed it.
__________________
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831
#17
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lebanon (Liberty Hill), CT
Posts: 8,473
Bikes: CAAD 12, MASI Gran Criterium S, Colnago World Cup CX & Guru steel
Mentioned: 6 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1743 Post(s)
Liked 1,281 Times
in
740 Posts
I can see why you'd speculate but she and I ride together we go at a decent pace and she enjoys our rides. When we ride in the group I never let her go off the back without me. And, quite frankly, she doesn't often lag behind. She just has this anxiety thing about not being good enough even though she could be a very strong rider if she'd just ride more. One of my problems is that her reluctance to ride with the group keeps me from getting miles in. FWIW, I don't ride aggressively except for one day a week when I ride my 15mi. TT solo. Then I kick my own butt.
#18
Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
vive le difference
NOS88 is going where I was going to go... you have to appreciate what (as my GF calls them) your 'man muscles' can do for you on a climb - generally men have greater musculature, for a given body weight. It simply isn't going to be as hard for you as it is for her. My GF has some real respiratory issues and is close to tears of frustration some days, so we simply back off and take the hills at the pace she can sustain. I assure her I'm not disappointed and that is it about OUR ride, not my/her ride. Riding with a significant other is a real treat and has to be valued and nurtured.
I agree also with the idea that you should focus on the same hills/routes, and as she sees herself improve on them, confidence will improve and the mindset will diminish.
I agree also with the idea that you should focus on the same hills/routes, and as she sees herself improve on them, confidence will improve and the mindset will diminish.
#19
gone ride'n
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 4,050
Bikes: Simoncini, Gary Fisher, Specialized Tarmac
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
Just forget about it and enjoy the fact that she will ride with you at all. I would just try to get as many miles in with her as I could and maybe over time she will climb more. With my wife, the more I push her the harder she digs in.
#20
Ride like the wind!
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 173
Bikes: Trek 700 wsd
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times
in
0 Posts
I'm female and agree with your wife when I see hills, I'm gonna die, too. I would give up quickly and start walking. I finally realized that that wasn't helping my hill climbing abilities. So, now I tell myself, I'm going to RIDE up that hill, even if I have to stop along the way and take breaks, because I'll still be strengthening the climbing muscles more doing it that way than getting off and walking. And next time, I'll be a little stronger and maybe will take one less break getting up it.
You also might try riding the same hill over the next few weeks instead of new ones all the time. Once she gets to know it personally, she will be able to gauge her progress up it. And if she knows it only took her three breaks to get up it last time, but she still made it and she's still alive, she might be willing to push herself a little more.
Works for me!
Tabriz
You also might try riding the same hill over the next few weeks instead of new ones all the time. Once she gets to know it personally, she will be able to gauge her progress up it. And if she knows it only took her three breaks to get up it last time, but she still made it and she's still alive, she might be willing to push herself a little more.
Works for me!
Tabriz
I'm a brand new rider and this is going to be really helpful to me.
Thank you!
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: North shore of Mass.
Posts: 2,131
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 3 Times
in
1 Post
Never look beyond five feet in front of the bike on a hill.
The mind is much more powerful than any other part of a human. Don't give it any information that it could use against you. If you don't see the top of a hill your mind won't be able to convince the rest of you that the hill is unconquerable.
The mind is much more powerful than any other part of a human. Don't give it any information that it could use against you. If you don't see the top of a hill your mind won't be able to convince the rest of you that the hill is unconquerable.
#22
gone ride'n
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 4,050
Bikes: Simoncini, Gary Fisher, Specialized Tarmac
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
NOS88 is going where I was going to go... you have to appreciate what (as my GF calls them) your 'man muscles' can do for you on a climb - generally men have greater musculature, for a given body weight. It simply isn't going to be as hard for you as it is for her. My GF has some real respiratory issues and is close to tears of frustration some days, so we simply back off and take the hills at the pace she can sustain. I assure her I'm not disappointed and that is it about OUR ride, not my/her ride. Riding with a significant other is a real treat and has to be valued and nurtured.
I agree also with the idea that you should focus on the same hills/routes, and as she sees herself improve on them, confidence will improve and the mindset will diminish.
I agree also with the idea that you should focus on the same hills/routes, and as she sees herself improve on them, confidence will improve and the mindset will diminish.
#23
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Rural Missouri - mostly central and southeastern
Posts: 3,013
Bikes: 2003 LeMond -various other junk bikes
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 78 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 44 Times
in
35 Posts
Any body have any tips on how to get her out of the "there's a hill, I'm gonna die!"
The best strategy to deal with people who don't share your goals when cycling is to make allowances and introduce other "goals." In this case, one possible method is to go ahead and completely slow down at the base of the hill and gear down to an easy spin. The slowly take the hill in an easy gear - commenting on how "cool" it is that bicycles have multiple gears.
The main thing when riding a bike is to have fun and engage in an activity that promotes health at the same time. Riding up hill very slowly, using low gears is a great opportunity to share your love of cycling with your mate.
Once in a while try to think of others, and adjust your point of view as necessary.
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the bridge with Picard
Posts: 5,932
Bikes: Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time
in
1 Post
I see a hill and I want to conquer it. When I was a newbie commuter I had a mile-long hill right at the end of my commute. At first I had to walk up, then I got halfway up before I had to stop and walk. The first time I made it up without walking I thought my lungs were going to explode, but I was so happy that I'd finally made it without walking.
The only way for your wife to get over her fear of hills is for her to ride a lot of them. Once she gets comfortable shifting into an easier gear and spinning, they shouldn't be a that big of a deal.
The only way for your wife to get over her fear of hills is for her to ride a lot of them. Once she gets comfortable shifting into an easier gear and spinning, they shouldn't be a that big of a deal.