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Old 10-27-11, 02:41 PM   #1
Steve B.
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I'm a curmedgeon

My wife is a bit pissed at me.

I'm visiting today a library in the neighboring community. The building is on a main street with a side street that has 2 parking lots.

As I am pulling into the lot adjacent to the library building, I notice a car doing a 3 point u-turn, possibly they saw the space I was pulling into, but I got there first (speculation).

As my wife and I exit the car and walk to the entrance, I watch a women get out of the car doing the u-turn. She has stopped her car in the street immediately in front of the sidewalk leading to the library entrance. Not parked against the curb, but stopped in the road, front wheels at an angle. There is a Range Rover stopped behind her.

Women gets out, opens rear door, grabs a pile of books and heads for the outside book bin, which is set into the building facade, so 30-40ft from the street.

This street has No Stopping signs along it.

I go over and tell her that leaving her car stopped in the road like that is pretty rude "Don't you think ?". She replies with a "Mind your own business" comment, or some such. I get in her face and tell her "It's everybody's business and you're a brain dead *******".

Rant over.

Wife thinks I over reacted. My attitude is:

1) This is a community (Merrick, NY) where a seemingly goodly portion of the many affluent residents can often times be very self centered in their behavior towards their fellow citizens in the manner that they drive their cars, park them and in general treat other folks they encounter in stores, etc... So when I'm in this hamlet (it's a new and very nice library), I'm constantly reminded how rude these folks can be.

2) NYC has a slogan in the mass transit systems "If you see something, say something" which I guess I've extended an bit to other facets of life not related to orphaned pieces of luggage. Thus I saw something and said something.
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Old 10-27-11, 02:46 PM   #2
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You overreacted. The woman will think you are the jerk, not her. Backfire effect.
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Old 10-27-11, 02:48 PM   #3
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I see the problems we have here with people doing this kind of stuff as a direct influence of being "politically (in)correct". We need to put social pressure on people to behave.
I look at pictures of old baseball games of everyone in suits and dresses and just know those people behaved themselves and were courteous to others. Those days are gone and so is our society.

The immediate effect is "backfire". But, believe me she will think about and come to the realization she was wrong. Especially if other people do the same to her. This is why we need to continually do it.

It's the same with EVERYTHING. Punish people for doing wrong. Really punish them so they won't do it again. We've become a nation of enablers.

BUT.......We may have slipped so far with this that there is no recovery. Kids don't understand constructive criticism today and just think you are an idiot.

Last edited by bigbadwullf; 10-27-11 at 03:22 PM.
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Old 10-27-11, 02:49 PM   #4
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Not worth the effort or frustration and stress to you, nor is the likely or intended result - which, by the way, was??

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Old 10-27-11, 03:10 PM   #5
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Hmmm. You may have overreacted. However people are pretty brain-dead and selfish sometimes. F'rexample, I wanted to parallel-park today. I spotted a space, put my turn signal on, moved over and stopped beside the vehicle in front of the space, and the woman behind me pulled right up on my bumper and immediately hit the horn. Okay lady, I can't back into the space I want so I'll just sit here and wait for you to move. Eventually I moved.

I've learned from experience that in these situations another problem will develop too. Traffic will try to sneak by on the left, and those drivers will get irritated when the nose of my vehicle swings left as I try to back into the space. How rude of me to do something that prevents them from being rude. PP'ing is not only a lost art, it's a lost awareness.
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Old 10-27-11, 03:18 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve B. View Post
My wife is a bit pissed at me.

I'm visiting today a library in the neighboring community. The building is on a main street with a side street that has 2 parking lots.

As I am pulling into the lot adjacent to the library building, I notice a car doing a 3 point u-turn, possibly they saw the space I was pulling into, but I got there first (speculation).

As my wife and I exit the car and walk to the entrance, I watch a women get out of the car doing the u-turn. She has stopped her car in the street immediately in front of the sidewalk leading to the library entrance. Not parked against the curb, but stopped in the road, front wheels at an angle. There is a Range Rover stopped behind her.

Women gets out, opens rear door, grabs a pile of books and heads for the outside book bin, which is set into the building facade, so 30-40ft from the street.

This street has No Stopping signs along it.

I go over and tell her that leaving her car stopped in the road like that is pretty rude "Don't you think ?". She replies with a "Mind your own business" comment, or some such. I get in her face and tell her "It's everybody's business and you're a brain dead *******".

Rant over.

Wife thinks I over reacted. My attitude is:

1) This is a community (Merrick, NY) where a seemingly goodly portion of the many affluent residents can often times be very self centered in their behavior towards their fellow citizens in the manner that they drive their cars, park them and in general treat other folks they encounter in stores, etc... So when I'm in this hamlet (it's a new and very nice library), I'm constantly reminded how rude these folks can be.

2) NYC has a slogan in the mass transit systems "If you see something, say something" which I guess I've extended an bit to other facets of life not related to orphaned pieces of luggage. Thus I saw something and said something.
Next time, pull out your cell phone, call the local police station, tell the nice officer who answers the phone, what you have observed, give a description of the driver and the plate number from the vehicle, they get paid to deal with this kind of nonsense, the driver has probably done this kind of thing before. You never actually know what your dealing with, more then one person has would up dead or severely injured when facing someone on the street, best to leave it to the professionals.
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Old 10-27-11, 03:25 PM   #7
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Old 10-27-11, 03:37 PM   #8
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I am a big believer in shock therapy. I have an inventory of words used to shock ignorant and selfish people into compliance.

I would have gotten out to speak to the fine woman as well.
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Old 10-27-11, 03:43 PM   #9
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I would have helped her unload the books, so that she could continue on her way.
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Old 10-27-11, 03:57 PM   #10
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Ask your doctor for some Lorazepam. You need to calm down and stop getting worked up over the doings of idiots. They're everywhere, all day, every day. bk
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Old 10-27-11, 05:14 PM   #11
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I see the problems we have here with people doing this kind of stuff as a direct influence of being "politically (in)correct". We need to put social pressure on people to behave.
I look at pictures of old baseball games of everyone in suits and dresses and just know those people behaved themselves and were courteous to others. Those days are gone and so is our society.

The immediate effect is "backfire". But, believe me she will think about and come to the realization she was wrong. Especially if other people do the same to her. This is why we need to continually do it.

It's the same with EVERYTHING. Punish people for doing wrong. Really punish them so they won't do it again. We've become a nation of enablers.

BUT.......We may have slipped so far with this that there is no recovery. Kids don't understand constructive criticism today and just think you are an idiot.
No she won't.

She'll get back in her SUV, grab her iPhone 4S, text her BFF, while she's driving, about some twit at the library as she finds her way to McDonald's to get her Big Mac, get back into her SUV, go home, tell her new boyfriend about the twit at the library while he ignores her so he can keep surfing pron sites on his new Playbook. Don't fool yourself. If she doesn't see it on Facebook, it didn't happen and she won't learn a thing, nor will she feel remorse about a thing she did all day.

Self entitlement is not dead, not by a long shot.

Edit: Steve B, I mean no disrespect to you with the "twit" indication. This is posted as if the SUV girlie were citing the incident. No insult to you intended.

Last edited by thompsonpost; 10-27-11 at 05:54 PM.
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Old 10-27-11, 05:44 PM   #12
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Come to work with me for a week. Follow me and listen to the CRAP my customers say to me, and say and do to each other. Then the TWIT at the library will seem sort of milktoast.

Last edited by Blues Frog; 10-27-11 at 05:47 PM.
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Old 10-27-11, 05:49 PM   #13
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No she won't.

She'll get back in her SUV, grab her iPhone 4S, text her BFF, while she's driving, about some twit at the library as she finds her way to McDonald's to get her Big Mac, get back into her SUV, go home, tell her new boyfriend about the twit at the library while he ignores her so he can keep surfing pron sites on his new Playbook. Don't fool yourself. If she doesn't see it on Facebook, it didn't happen and she won't learn a thing, nor will she feel remorse about a thing she did all day.

Self entitlement is not dead, not by a long shot.
^^^^This. I teach her/their spawn every day at university-level. If they are 'gone', they are 'gone'; an "E" is branded on their foreheads from birth, and there ain't nothin' you, nor I, can do about it. Lecturing, hectoring, yelling ... nothing will get through the fog of self. Sometimes I think this character trait is genetically transmitted.
Just sayin'.
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Old 10-27-11, 06:16 PM   #14
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Next time, pull out your cell phone, call the local police station, tell the nice officer who answers the phone, what you have observed, give a description of the driver and the plate number from the vehicle, they get paid to deal with this kind of nonsense, the driver has probably done this kind of thing before. You never actually know what your dealing with, more then one person has would up dead or severely injured when facing someone on the street, best to leave it to the professionals.
Where do you live ?. Oh right, Canada. This would work in Canada. On Long Island, calling the cops would be more frustrating then yelling at the stupid women. I'd end up yelling at the cops and find myself overnight away from home. Mind you that these are among the most highly paid cops in the entire USA, but they would think I was as stupid as the women parked in the street.

But thanks for the advice.

SB
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Old 10-27-11, 06:49 PM   #15
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It's been a developing attitude of mine that sometimes we need to take some personal responsibility to help toe the line on what we all see is a gradual deterioration in social norms. The cops cannot and will not enforce petty quality of life issues, sad to say (at least in most urban and large suburban area's). If you see somebody doing something that affects all of us, maybe say something, as kindly as you can, or not. Would I say something like this in the heart of Brooklyn ?, Nope. I'd get shot. Can I get away with it in my local neighborhood, Yes, and I understood that and spoke up. 'Ya gotta pick your battles and start somewhere.

Do I need medication, Nope and that is most certainly not any kind of answer or advice. It's not an anger issue, it's a responsibility issue. Are you all happy with just "dealing" with all the crap life dishes out ?, Of course not. It's one of the primary reasons people move and migrate to new and better living environments.

Have you ever honked your car horn at another motorist doing something, or about to do something dumb ?. Of course, and the only difference is that you are hiding behind the windshield and have a ready escape at hand. Saying something to somebody who is so obviously breaking the law (not really my job to enforce) as well as causing constant inconveniences to fellow citizens (well.....) is totally appropriate behavior and should be encouraged today, IMO.

I am certain that had I spoken kindly to this women, she would have told me to go mind my own business and never given another thought to the inappropriateness of her actions. Having had to take some abuse from a fellow citizen reminds her that NO you cannot just act like an ******* in society without getting called on it. I'm not certain it will have any effect. Possibly it will and that alone makes it worth the effort.

Plus it felt good to tell the stupid idiot that she was indeed brain dead.
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Old 10-27-11, 06:59 PM   #16
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I'd love to have been you. I would have backed up to the spot just in front of her in the street, got out, popped the hood (motor off for credibility's sake) and poked around for a while. "Honey, turn it over." I would have ignored her to the end. Make her go around. My wife would have loved it.

But I'm not you.

Priceless to have seen her face after getting into my face.
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Old 10-27-11, 07:04 PM   #17
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I spend many hours each week trying to make wrong into right.

Just a different emphasis in life.

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Old 10-27-11, 07:52 PM   #18
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I spend many hours each week trying to make wrong into right.

Just a different emphasis in life.

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+1,000,000, very timely reply DNVR!!!

O.P.,
I sincerly doubt she even cared once she got back in her panzer. You were just an annoyance in her "truly busy day" I'd agree that she dissed you over pretty well with another ice queen, as said, by texting while driving. These people aren't worth the effort or the ulcer. I agree that something needs to be done about the sense of entitlement that so many people seem to feel they have. However, all the anger, and throw in the less than optimal feelings with your wife, isn't worth the effort. I quit yelling and getting worked up over idiots like her. I'll step in of they are a threat to life or limb but not for this level and her attitude. She just ain't worth the time or bother to me. Just my worthless opinion on the bad day. Hope tomorrow is much better for you.

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Old 10-27-11, 09:28 PM   #19
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I go over and tell her that leaving her car stopped in the road like that is pretty rude "Don't you think ?". She replies with a "Mind your own business" comment, or some such. I get in her face and tell her "It's everybody's business and you're a brain dead *******".
Just for those of us that are confused, what precisely was the point of calling her a name? Did that somehow enhance the point you were making? Did you think that it would persuade here that you were correct?
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Old 10-27-11, 10:26 PM   #20
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Kids don't understand constructive criticism today and just think you are an idiot.
If you call someone names, it's no longer constructive criticism.
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Old 10-28-11, 06:16 AM   #21
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You overreacted. I have had people say such things to me when I do an Idaho stop (slow roll through a stop sign) which is illegal here. I always smile and yell back that I will stop rolling through stop signs when they stop driving 5-10 MPH over the limit. Now we have both been informed that we are wrong and we both know that we are - technically.
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Old 10-28-11, 06:26 AM   #22
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I spend many hours each week trying to make wrong into right.

Just a different emphasis in life.

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+1,000,000, very timely reply DNVR!!!
Thanks.

And, believe me, I am often called far, far worse things than a "curmudgeon!!" When one is asking for transparency in non-profits and government, accountability as to salaries and expenditures, conformity to regulations and laws and potentially hitting folks in their personal pocket books, the names - oh so gently disguised - come out a-flowing like a river of babble!!

My "supporters" call me a "gadfly."

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Old 10-28-11, 06:33 AM   #23
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Maybe you did over react. But, have to say I get the same feelings when dealing with arrogant people. And her actions indicate she is arrogant.
I can't think of anything that gets under my skin quicker than dealing with someone who thinks they are better than me.
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Old 10-28-11, 07:48 AM   #24
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Overreacted? Maybe. But there is so little reaction to this kind of stuff it's almost acceptable. I have noticed for a long time that people live a life that is convenient for them. Other people be damned. What would her reaction be if she was finished dropping her books off, and there was a car stopped in front of her?
Perhaps she will give it some thought next time, but I wouldn't count on it.
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Old 10-28-11, 08:50 AM   #25
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Steve:
I don't think you overreacted, and I agree with your point about personal responsibility. Maybe, just maybe, the next time she is about to do something idiotic, she might remember that there's a chance someone might point out her idiocy or outright laziness and she will choose to do the right thing. If you had done nothing, as most enablers in our society do(as already stated), that chance of remembering remains at zero.
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