I'm slipping into a sort of cozy place in my life these days and I'm not sure what to make of it.
Now before this gets painted into a "Life is Rosey" type of picture I assure you that I most certainly have some seemingly insurmountable personal obstacles looming in the near future, I just can't seem to get very excited about them. It's the strangest thing....
On a lighter note, this is the time of the year when my outdoor activities gravitate more towards shoveling our average annual 100 inches of snow and much less towards cycling. In the past the prospect of less riding bothered me, a lot. This year I don't seem to mind it much at all. We've had some flurries, the furnace has been running for the last five weeks, and the Van is stuffed into my garage for the season.
Storing the Van in the garage displaces my personal little "Bike Haven". Any repairs or service from now until Spring will be out on the open porch or down in my severely cluttered basement. It also means that most of my favorite bikes are stowed deep into the far corners of the garage and the basement making them very inaccessable until the Spring.
So why aren't I depressed? Why am I so passively resigning myself to this drastic decrease in my cycling activities for the next five months? Did I get....old? I know I'm not any wiser. Could my lack of terror over the personal challenges I'm facing and my nonchalance towards life's little "Gotchas" be a warning sign that if I gave a damn I should be concerned about my state of mind?
I'm thinking that I'll just accept this new and interesting outlook on life as a reward for making it this far. I'll consider it a type of peace of mind that comes with the confidence that the important problems will somehow get resolved and the bikes are out there, safely sheltered from the wind blown snow and ice. The two or three bikes that I put into readily accessable places might get some use during the calmer winter days, and I have a couple of "Project bikes" stashed in a somewhat accessable spot downstairs that I might fiddle around with. We'll see how ambitious I get.
I do know that it took me 60+ years to get to this mellow place. Now I sure hope it's a place I can stay, or at least return to if I ever find that I've left it.