CB HI

qcpmsame 

My wife works from home, has since 1994 and raised both of our children. We started her business so she could be with the children instead of day care. Why do they need to foist their child off? We worked things out and had sharing and scheduled meetings at the house around when I could get off.

I can feel the flames coming on this one.

Bill

Bronze Potato

Perhaps they could just have a dog walking service deal with the kid?

Beverly

They generally don't recommend putting a child that young into a trailer without some type of carrier such as a car seat or smaller carrier. I've seen people strap a small car seat into trailers and it seems to work fine.

John_V 

I'm with Bill on this one. I don't understand why they need a day care if the wife is working from home. My daughter worked from home while the youngest grandson was still a baby and then had the two older boys to deal with when they came home from school. On top of that, even if something was available to transport a child that small, I don't think I would be taking a baby that young in a bike trailer, regardless of how short the commute to work or daycare happens to be. If he has to ride through heavily travelled streets, there isn't a child trailer that I am aware of that will keep the exhaust fumes out. That's a bad idea he has.

Beverly

A lot would depend on the type of job. I developed mainframe system software and when I worked from home is was hard to concentrate with kids running around the house. On those days I waited until the kids left for school. I could also wait until they were in bed to finish my day. His wife may not have the option of scheduling her day around the baby's schedule.

We had several people who worked from home and it was distracting when they called into meetings and you could hear children talking/crying in the background If his wife has a job that requires a lot of phone time that could be a problem. A three month old baby doesn't understand "Wait until I'm off the phone".

CraigB

^^

Maybe "work" involves juggling running chainsaws or defusing unexploded bombs - something where she needs to avoid distractions.

NOS88

I would have a view slightly different. I don't see this as a sad situation. My wife and I both took leave when each of our sons were born. She took two month and I took the third month. However, by the time they were 3 months old they were both spending their days in the loving care of others. As they grew (pre-grade school) they attended day care centers. It's interesting that you should make this post now. Just yesterday we were all together celebrating my youngest son's birthday and the conversation turned to their experiences growing up. Both sons indicated that they are really glad they had their early childhood daycare experiences. They feel that it helped them learn to interact with and deal successfully with a wide range of people and diversity. From my perspective they certainly have a stronger sense of what it means to be a responsible part of a community than I did at their age. I attribute that, in part, to their day care experiences. They are both college graduates, have never been in trouble with the law, volunteer their time with worthwhile charities, have a large, diverse group of friends, are very respectful of others, and bring me a great deal of pride and joy. Having worked from home (both my wife and I), I know first hand that taking care of a child or infant and full time employment do not go hand in hand. While I would never call care for a child a distraction, I would be very hesitant to hire a full-time employee and have them working from home while also taking care of their child. What I think is unfortunate is the notion that there is a singular or very limited "correct" ways to raise a child.

Bronze Potato

Judging from what I see, clearly there are a lot of incorrect ways to do so.

NOS88

Yes, I think there are those who have been damaged by their early childhood experiences. Becoming a well-adjusted, responsible adult is not an easy path for some. There is no guarantee that being raised at home or elsewhere will lead to well-adjusted adults.

unterhausen

my son was in daycare from about that age, maybe a little older. He was in a very caring situation and really did well. I'm not sure if what we did was much better, I used to take him to my lab when he was younger, he probably didn't get any more attention there than he would at daycare.

bigbadwullf

1)If it is a ridiculously short commute, why not walk and carry the child? I wouldn't put a kid in a trailer in a deserted park, let alone a busy city.
2) Move to the burbs

John_V 

My issue with the original post isn't so much with the "working from home and taking care of a child" aspect, because it certainly can be done. Not knowing what type of job the wife has can, as Beverly states, make working from home impossible at times. I will also agree with you on the fact that day care centers do help with their social skills and the ability to interact better with others as they grow older. My wife and I both worked away from home, so we were never put into this situation. However, from the time my daughter was 4 and after my son was born, I worked as a paramedic on a 24 on, 48 off shift that afforded me plenty of time to raise my kids. We preferred to place them, full time, in a day care center (or with a babysitter with other children around) because of the interaction with other children.

My issue with the original post is the method of choice to transport this baby to/from the day care center. There are so many dangers, including the one I mentioned, involved in putting a child that small in a bike trailer that it isn't worth the risk. Depending on the route travelled, if the road or sidewalk is extremely rough, the shocks from the road to a child this small can lead to injuries very similar to shaken baby syndrome. If for some reason, dad dumps the bike, the bike carrier will go with it as well. Even in a child carrier inside the trailer, the jolt is enough to do sever damage to a three month old infant. Although one could argue that the same thing can happen transporting a child in an automobile, the chances of sever injury or death are much less than transporting on a bicycle. If this is their only means of transportation, I think mom needs to figure out a way to juggle her schedule around the baby and work until that child is much older.

Just saying.

NOS88

John, I was with until this statement. Do you have any data to support this? I'm not asking as a confrontation; I'm asking to become better informed.

t4mv

I like your line of thought there, Craig. If one can do those things from home, I'm thinking maybe she was the pilot that lost that drone in Iran.

StephenH

I have my preferences about how society ought to be. However, the post quoted in the original post above doesn't strike me as especially sad or bad. I've worked from home before, but I wouldn't have been able to do that and take care of my kids, too. You can't properly care for and supervise little kids and devote your full time to a job at the same time. If you have a work-from-home job where you try to get 20 hours work done in a 40-hour week, it'd be different. When your kids hit 10 or 12, it's a lot different, too.

Six jours

I'm with you, CB. I too remember the good old days when we butted out and let parents raise their children the way they thought best.

Garfield Cat

When something belongs to you, you take better care of it than if it did not belong to you.

stapfam

Not many- but there are some families over here that in the recent Financial crisis--Have become a bit stretched. This has necessitated that both parents work- just to pay the bills- let alone for any extras- like Food and clothing. And The mother may be working from home but it may be a job that is 10 hours a day and requires full attention.

My daughter has 2 kids- Dad works and Mum has set herself up with a home job. Luckily that home job is done after the kids go to bed and lots of late nights required to get the work done. Without my daughter bringing in that "Extra" funding to the household they would be in Financial trouble-- or my retirement fund would be going quicker than it is now.

So I don't think I can blame this family for seeming to neglect the baby in his/her formative years- but it is very unfortunate that it will happen.

And think back to when you started a family- Suddenly only having one income instead of two hits hard. I had it and I struggled through without the wife working-- But we lived very frugally and the kids and us survived. Just don't offer a sausage to my eldest daughter as she seems to think that they were the only meat available for years.

CB HI

And here I thought that most of the studies showed that the bonding between mother and child occured through age 2.

Is there really that much socialization that occurs at 3 months old?

moth54

Since parenting a small infant is a very demanding job, I consider it responsible of the quoted poster to find someone to take care of her infant while she works. The income-paying job is a distraction to the job, and it is a job, of taking care of the child. So it is appropriate that the quoted poster find a day care centre who can focus on her child whilst she herself is too distracted.

I've no idea about the bike carrier for a child that young. It took years of research to figure out the best way to transport kids in cars, so I don't imagine the answer is a simple one. My nightmare would be having the carrier hit by a car.

downtube42

From 2008 CDC data, motor vehicle crashes are the #1 cause of unintentional injury deaths for all age groups from 5 to 34, #2 for ages 1-4, and #4 for <1 year old.

We have become so accustomed to riding in motor vehicles at speed, we have become completely desensitized to the amount of energy contained in the human body - energy that has to be dissipated when the vehicle rapidly stops. Your common sense, which concludes that strapping a kid in a car is safer than strapping a kid in a bike trailer, is based on an illusion.

The biggest risk of death to kids isn't the boogy man or terrorists or murderous strangers, it's cars.

teachme

OP, I am trying very hard to find a trace of common sense in the idea of putting a 3 month old infant in a trailer pulled by a bicycle. I don't care if its legal or illegal, its STUPID to put an infant in a trailer behind a bicycle. A stroller with you pushing it so you can keep an eye on the infant would be more appropriate. Just my opinion...

B. Carfree

Twenty-two years ago my wife and I faced the same choice that the quoted post in the OP outlines. We visited several daycare centers while my wife was pregnant, and that led to major life changes for us. We saw them as "baby jails". We were both working full time and enrolled in grad. school, but we found a way to divide the day into two twelve hour shifts. Each of us took the baby for half the day. It was what we were comfortable with and we saw evidence that it worked better than the alternatives when we hired someone to watch our son for a couple of hours each day; that didn't work out too well.

I had a friend in grad school who had twins at the same time my son was born. He chose the day-care at two months route. I felt bad for him every time he told me of the horrible experiences his kids had at the daycare they had just left. The next one was always supposed to be better, but a few months later I would hear from him about a new set of woes, which at one point included giardia.

We have paid a huge price in terms of our careers, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We are all happy and I hope that whatever child-rearing choices other families make work out as well for them as ours have for us.

CB HI

You do know that I posted a quote from another, unnamed cyclist in the OP, right?

My 3 kids have already completed college.