I'm getting started in bike-hiking and I have a few questions:
I'd like to race in the Tour de France. What is the best bike to buy? How do I sign up? Is there an entrance fee?
People keep telling me I should buy those black bike pants. They look like something from my liberry of softcore films. Do I really have to buy them? I's this a joke?
Oh, and this too:
I got those stoopid road bike shoes, an they are SO HARD to walk in. Yesterday, in a convenience store, I skidded across the floor, landed on my ass, and knocked over a rack of potato chips. Made me feel like a looser. What should I do?