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  1. #1
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Legal Separation - Mrs. Jones is in a tiff...

    I've been away from the 50+ forum for a few weeks (anything new I missed?) and off my bike as well, sorting out some things in life that needed sorting out.

    Today, I got a look from Mrs. Jones that was unmistakable. She's NOT happy being neglected like this. She is sulking in the corner of my home office. She glances at the window, sees that it's going to be 75 degrees and sunny out there, and then scowls at me for paying her no attention.

    I'm worried she's going to lawyer up and file for a legal separation - or even worse!

    Tell me it's not too late and I can woo her back into my life! Tell me she's not so superficial that she can't understand that I will have occasional periods of distraction, overwork, etc. and I won't be able to ride her as often as she might like! Tell me she's not so fickle that she's already pining for another!

    I'm so upset here the tension is palpable. And we all know palpable tension is the worst kind.
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
    2012 Masi Evoluzione
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  2. #2
    Senior Member NOS88's Avatar
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    Stops all the fussing around and go for a ride. Mrs. Jones will thank. Heck, you'll thank you.
    A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright
    Favorite rides in the stable: Indy Fab CJ Ti - Colnago MXL - S-Works Roubaix - Habanero Team Issue - Jamis Eclipse carbon/831

  3. #3
    Senior Member Retro Grouch's Avatar
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    Just because there's been a retro-looking grouchy sort of guy hanging around doesn't mean she's having an affair.

  4. #4
    Have bike, will travel Barrettscv's Avatar
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    At least bikes don't care if your monogamous. Heck, I've got two in Chicago, two in Ohio and I just sold one! I'm also planning on keeping one in Italy, starting this summer.
    When I ride my bike I feel free and happy and strong. I'm liberated from the usual nonsense of day to day life. Solid, dependable, silent, my bike is my horse, my fighter jet, my island, my friend. Together we will conquer that hill and thereafter the world.

  5. #5
    Senior Member miss kenton's Avatar
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    You're on a slippery slope there, DG. I see a lot of relationships go down this path. You start out giving her all kinds of attention and bragging about her to your friends. Just when she relaxes and warms up to you, you start telling her you can't be with her because you have to work late.
    Next think you know, she's staring out the window and you're laying around in your boxers, not trimming your goatee, and belching at will.
    Sharpen up, man! Start taking her out again, and make sure you wear clean shorts when you do. And for the love of Pete, don't let her catch you looking at other bikes online!

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    I never met a girl that didn't respond well to a good thrashing on the road. Ride her hard and fast. Lean her over the corners. Pounce on her up the hills. And let her slide smooth and easy on the downside.

  7. #7
    自転車整備士 oldskoolwrench's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digital Gee View Post
    I've been away from the 50+ forum for a few weeks (anything new I missed?) and off my bike as well, sorting out some things in life that needed sorting out.

    Today, I got a look from Mrs. Jones that was unmistakable. She's NOT happy being neglected like this. She is sulking in the corner of my home office. She glances at the window, sees that it's going to be 75 degrees and sunny out there, and then scowls at me for paying her no attention.

    I'm worried she's going to lawyer up and file for a legal separation - or even worse!

    Tell me it's not too late and I can woo her back into my life! Tell me she's not so superficial that she can't understand that I will have occasional periods of distraction, overwork, etc. and I won't be able to ride her as often as she might like! Tell me she's not so fickle that she's already pining for another!

    I'm so upset here the tension is palpable. And we all know palpable tension is the worst kind.
    Got one answer for 'ya, pal...

    Put this on while you're getting ready, and all will be fine.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFIOYizNBhc

    Alan

  8. #8
    blt
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    I'm not neglecting mine, I'm doing worse, I'm seriously thinking of riding a younger model. I look over at the current one in my life, and I feel guilt. After 25 years together, I'm now pining for another, and I think she knows what I'm planning. How could I abandon her after 25 years of loyalty? Oh, I'm still willing to have her around, take her out on occasion, especially when I'm going to leave her for a couple of hours and want to take her mostly because I know nobody would steal her while I leave her alone.

    I also think I will keep her around so that someone else can occasionally ride her alongside me while I ride the new one in my life, but that will be hard. I can only imagine how she'll look at me if I'm riding the younger model while she's next to me or behind me with someone else riding her. Tell me that isn't weird! She'd probably leave me if she could, but she really has no place to go.

    This isn't just a mid-life crisis. I really do feel it is time for someone different for the coming decades. I could help her get a serious make-over, but if she's going to be my number 1, I'd be getting rid of pretty much everything but her skeleton, and would that even be her anymore? I also feel horribly shallow because, frankly, even if she got a serious make-over, I don't want someone who is as heavy as she is. I've lived with her weight problems for 25 years, and really, what's an extra 4 or 5 pounds on someone you really love, but as I get older, I'm sorry, I really want someone who is lighter. I sound like such a cad!!

    I wish someone could tell me I'm not a bad person and relieve my guilt, but I would know it is a lie. I'm just not going to tell my mom, she'd be ashamed.

  9. #9
    Senior Member teachme's Avatar
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    You guys crack me up!!! LOL!
    Official member of the Brotherhood of Clyde...

    Lets stop diabetes! Click here: http://main.diabetes.org/site/TR/?px...nal&fr_id=8067 to donate to the Tour de Cure.

  10. #10
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by miss kenton View Post
    You're on a slippery slope there, DG. I see a lot of relationships go down this path. You start out giving her all kinds of attention and bragging about her to your friends. Just when she relaxes and warms up to you, you start telling her you can't be with her because you have to work late.
    Next think you know, she's staring out the window and you're laying around in your boxers, not trimming your goatee, and belching at will.
    Sharpen up, man! Start taking her out again, and make sure you wear clean shorts when you do. And for the love of Pete, don't let her catch you looking at other bikes online!
    I think this is wise advice. Thank you.
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
    2012 Masi Evoluzione
    2009 Specialized Globe Vienna 2

    Proud member of the original Club Tombay

  11. #11
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leob1 View Post
    I never met a girl that didn't respond well to a good thrashing on the road. Ride her hard and fast. Lean her over the corners. Pounce on her up the hills. And let her slide smooth and easy on the downside.
    I think this is even wiser advice. Thank you too!
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
    2012 Masi Evoluzione
    2009 Specialized Globe Vienna 2

    Proud member of the original Club Tombay

  12. #12
    Senior Member John_V's Avatar
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    I have found that a makeup ride works well in this kind of situation.
    HCFR Cycling Team
    Ride Safe ... Ride Hard ... Ride Daily

    2012 Colnago Ace
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  13. #13
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    Mrs Jones need a few pressies to get her in the mood- Don't think flowers or Jewelry would work but how about a bottle of Pedro's. A Make over care of Johnsons Finest--Pledge in other words.

    But be careful- she could go either way on that next trip out. She could be frisky and take you to places you have never been before or she could just sulk and earn you a higher grade Tombay Certificate.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  14. #14
    Senior Member goldfinch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stapfam View Post
    Mrs Jones need a few pressies to get her in the mood- Don't think flowers or Jewelry would work but how about a bottle of Pedro's. A Make over care of Johnsons Finest--Pledge in other words.
    And don't forget the lube.

  15. #15
    Grandpa with spunk Randy Bosma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by John_V View Post
    I have found that a makeup century works well in this kind of situation.
    Fixed that.
    2011 Masi Speciale Randonneur
    2009 Trek FX 7.3

  16. #16
    Pedaled too far. Artkansas's Avatar
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    Just don't let her catch you doing it with the Globe.
    "He who serves all, best serves himself" Jack London

    Quote Originally Posted by Bjforrestal View Post
    I don't care if you are on a unicycle, as long as you're not using a motor to get places you get props from me. We're here to support each other. Share ideas, and motivate one another to actually keep doing it.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Mobile 155's Avatar
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    we may be over thinking this you know? If you change the tires, saddle and put on a different derailleur you can simply change the name. give the bike a mans name. Think about it men can be best friends and not see each other every waking moment. Call up a male friend even if you haven't been out together in three months and they ae happy to do for a ride. A male friend doesn't pout if you have to cancel a ride date. And a male friend doesn't care if you have lots of other male friends. So I say change the derailleur and your problems are solved.
    Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving. ~Albert Einstein.

  18. #18
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    (Insert Mobil55's name) will be riding Bob today!!! It's just not right.

    Old bikes are all Betsy, New stuff gets sexy names and changes frequently.

  19. #19
    Senior Member miss kenton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blt View Post
    I'm not neglecting mine, I'm doing worse, I'm seriously thinking of riding a younger model. I look over at the current one in my life, and I feel guilt. After 25 years together, I'm now pining for another, and I think she knows what I'm planning. How could I abandon her after 25 years of loyalty? Oh, I'm still willing to have her around, take her out on occasion, especially when I'm going to leave her for a couple of hours and want to take her mostly because I know nobody would steal her while I leave her alone.

    I also think I will keep her around so that someone else can occasionally ride her alongside me while I ride the new one in my life, but that will be hard. I can only imagine how she'll look at me if I'm riding the younger model while she's next to me or behind me with someone else riding her. Tell me that isn't weird! She'd probably leave me if she could, but she really has no place to go.

    This isn't just a mid-life crisis. I really do feel it is time for someone different for the coming decades. I could help her get a serious make-over, but if she's going to be my number 1, I'd be getting rid of pretty much everything but her skeleton, and would that even be her anymore? I also feel horribly shallow because, frankly, even if she got a serious make-over, I don't want someone who is as heavy as she is. I've lived with her weight problems for 25 years, and really, what's an extra 4 or 5 pounds on someone you really love, but as I get older, I'm sorry, I really want someone who is lighter. I sound like such a cad!!

    I wish someone could tell me I'm not a bad person and relieve my guilt, but I would know it is a lie. I'm just not going to tell my mom, she'd be ashamed.
    I hate to burst your bubble, but have you ever considered that she might be secretly harboring the notion that she would like to have a younger, lighter motor? One that appreciates her experience, doesn't take her for granted, and has better kit? How would you feel seeing her tooling around, all made over and spunky, gayly spinning through life with a hot, young, bike mechanic who could give her a new lease on life and wears a tight little t-shirt that says, "I ride my bike three times a day."

  20. #20
    Senior Member Mobile 155's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtclod View Post
    (Insert Mobil55's name) will be riding Bob today!!! It's just not right.

    Old bikes are all Betsy, New stuff gets sexy names and changes frequently.
    When you play basketball how many of your friends have women's names? How apout Pool, Football, Base Ball. When someone askes who you played beach volly ball with is it strange to say, John, Jim or Bill? Do you worry if you don't have time for John, Jim or Bill?

    I say you can avoid any feelings of guilt if you don't associate you bike with a gender that makes you feel guilty. My old Jeep 4x4 was George, as in Patton. When I had a sports car it was James, as in Dean. I don't do guilt.......
    Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving. ~Albert Einstein.

  21. #21
    A might bewildered... Dudelsack's Avatar
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    Get her some bling: a carbon wheelset or Speedplay pedals or something. She'll be thrilled.

  22. #22
    Squeaky Wheel woodway's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dudelsack View Post
    Get her some bling: a carbon wheelset or Speedplay pedals or something. She'll be thrilled.
    This. And my god whatever you do, don't buy her new innertubes for mothers day...

  23. #23
    Senior Member big john's Avatar
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    Just make time for a little ride a few times per week. You know you'll be glad you got out there once you get rolling. Even 45 minutes will make you feel better.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mobile 155 View Post
    When you play basketball how many of your friends have women's names? How apout Pool, Football, Base Ball. When someone askes who you played beach volly ball with is it strange to say, John, Jim or Bill? Do you worry if you don't have time for John, Jim or Bill?

    I say you can avoid any feelings of guilt if you don't associate you bike with a gender that makes you feel guilty. My old Jeep 4x4 was George, as in Patton. When I had a sports car it was James, as in Dean. I don't do guilt.......
    I have a Jackhammer we call the terminater, I see your point. To the OP just grease up her bottom bracket and call it a day. I'm sorry lord.

  25. #25
    Senior Member eja_ bottecchia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barrettscv View Post
    At least bikes don't care if your monogamous. Heck, I've got two in Chicago, two in Ohio and I just sold one! I'm also planning on keeping one in Italy, starting this summer.
    I got a couple of them myself. One is a mature, experienced Italian gal. The other is also Italian--a young hottie. They both live under my roof and are both happy to share me. In fact, when I have spent too much time riding one, the other suggests that I switch over.

    We are talking about bikes, right?
    My current stable:

    1989 SLX Bottecchia (Campy Athena 11s)
    1999 Cannondale F400 mountain bike
    2012 Bianchi Infinito (Campy Record 11s)
    2012 Colnago C59 in PR99 color scheme (Campy Record 11s)

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