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Fifty Plus (50+) Share the victories, challenges, successes and special concerns of bicyclists 50 and older. Especially useful for those entering or reentering bicycling.

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Old 06-28-12, 06:58 PM   #1
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You Never Know What Your Going to Have to Deal With

One of the fellas in our Tuesday/Thursday riding group is in his 50's, lives in my subdivision and was relocated out of state. His wife had an great job that required a lot of travel out of the country. They decided that since it was not a good time to sell a house and they weren't too far from retirement age they kept the house here--- which she used as a home base. Our cycling friend just purchased or rented a condo at his new work location.

He got the shocking news a couple weeks ago that his wife died while on a trip in Asia. Tough few weeks for him. He had a pretty difficult time just getting her body flown back to Charlotte. Fortunately his employer has offices around the Country and currently he is working around Charlotte. He is trying to get relocated back to the Charlotte area where their son lives.

He came back out to ride with us tonight. Good guy.

Hopefully getting back on the bike can give him a little peace while he tries to sort through all this.

God Bless Him............
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Old 06-28-12, 07:09 PM   #2
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Heartwrenching! Prayers up for your friend!
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Old 06-28-12, 07:24 PM   #3
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Deepest condolences.
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Old 06-28-12, 07:39 PM   #4
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What a harsh happening for him to endure. Prayers for his strength and Peace.

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

I did not choose to have Parkinson's Disease, but I can choose to not allow it to control my life. Its all up to me to overcome the trials, adapt and overcome!
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Old 06-28-12, 07:52 PM   #5
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I lost my dear wife almost two years ago. I don't believe the loss and pain will ever go away completely for me. I literally was in shock for several months but had to deal with all the issues and shutting down three businesses my wife had running.

Almost a year after losing my wife I took up cycling and am now pretty serious about it. I believe it has been a life saver for me! The therapy of riding and making new friends has been a blessing!

What your friend needs now is something to keep him busy and that he enjoys doing. Offer your support because you'll never know when something tragic might happen to you or a loved one.

My condolences go out to him and his family and God Bless. Tell him we're thinking of him.

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Old 06-28-12, 09:01 PM   #6
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A little over a year ago my supervisor went to Japan on a business trip. I would have normally gone on that trip, but I was on business in Brazil. He had lunch and called his wife. When he didn't return to the meeting after lunch, the clients went looking for him and found him unconscious. Emergency medical personnel revived him, but ultimately discovered he was brain dead. It was very difficult for his wife to travel to Japan and deal with the issues of having the life support system disconnected. Dealing with laws in a different country can be very difficult. These issues can be compounded with the associated grief.
I still miss him greatly and all the support he provided me. His wife has had great difficulty since his death.
I can't imagine how your friend is dealing with such a difficult issue. I discovered I was in a stupor after my late wife passed away. I realized this after the fact as the grief started to diminish. I also remember driving my Corvette convertible in a caravan to Nashville for the Corvette 50th Anniversary celebration. This trip in the Corvette helped me through my grief.
I hope cycling can help your friend with his grief.
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Old 06-28-12, 11:36 PM   #7
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My condolences to your friend. Bad enough he lost his life partner; adding the extra layer of foreign country is like rubbing salt in the wound. (We spent over 2 yrs. in the Republic of Korea in the 80s, pre-Olympics, so I have some context.)

I'm glad he's reconnected with your cycling group; I hope that gives him the outlet he needs.

Please offer him my sympathies for his loss. I wish him all the best.
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Old 06-29-12, 08:34 AM   #8
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I think the sudden, unexpected losses are the hardest; they shake you to the core and add another layer to process along with the grief of losing that person. I'm sorry for your tragic loss.
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Old 06-29-12, 08:54 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by Yen View Post
I think the sudden, unexpected losses are the hardest; they shake you to the core and add another layer to process along with the grief of losing that person. I'm sorry for your tragic loss.
It does shake you to the core. My wife died in February suddenly and it has shaken me to the core. Its was hard going forward with out her after being together for 34 years. When bike riding season came around I got out on the bike and it has really help give me some peace.
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Old 06-29-12, 09:04 AM   #10
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That's a tough one to deal with. I can't imagine what it takes to get a body out of a foreign country.
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