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Old 07-05-12, 04:49 AM   #1
NOS88
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How you know you're not TdF material...

While riding for the fourth consecutive day in blistering heat with high humidity I mulled over the fact that heat had always wiped me out after three or four days of riding. It was just another piece of evidence that I was never Tour de France material. I then began reflecting on all the other things that confirmed this...

I've never owned a white saddle;

Have always had higher than 5% body fat;

Regardless of how many times I look back, I never see a support vehicle waiting to change a flat for me;

Where I live there are large sections of highway where driving along at 40+ mph isn't possible, let alone cycling that fast;

When I crash, I tend not to jump up, toss the bike aside, and start looking for a new one;

I'm too frugal to throw a water bottle off to the side of the road right before a sprint;

The idea of having someone hand deliver fresh water bottles to me while riding is appealing, but realistically, I know I'd be the guy in the car distributing the bottles;

AND... so went my thinking until I could find a shady spot to get out of the sun for a few minutes.
So, how do you know if you're TdF material or not?
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Old 07-05-12, 05:10 AM   #2
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No cheering crowds on the sidewalk as I ride along.
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Old 07-05-12, 05:27 AM   #3
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...by the way I feel after a typical ride.
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Old 07-05-12, 06:07 AM   #4
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All the above plus, I really like to do my own work on my bicycle, the team mechanics would chase me off first day. I'd lose time from fixing my flats and adjusting my brakes or ders. But, I'll never, ever, have to worry about that will I.

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Old 07-05-12, 06:12 AM   #5
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A quick glance at the scale from about age 17 on was all I needed to know I wasn't TdeF material. I once read that no one on the Tour weighed more than 2.2 lbs per inch of height. And those guys were the sprinters. At 17 I would have had to weigh no more than 154 lbs. Even at my best football QB weight I was never below 175 lbs.

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Old 07-05-12, 06:25 AM   #6
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No investigation is started when I announce that I am doping.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:04 AM   #7
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I'm not surrounded by cyclists/a peloton(and it's not because I'm in the breakaway or lead).
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Old 07-05-12, 07:13 AM   #8
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I ride a bent
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Old 07-05-12, 07:13 AM   #9
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No investigation is started when I announce that I am doping.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:18 AM   #10
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I'd never be able to keep myself in the race as I'd keep stopping for a cafe au lait and to tour castles and chateaus along the way.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:21 AM   #11
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When I realized that the only sponsor I would have a shot at is "The Old Country Buffet"
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Old 07-05-12, 07:27 AM   #12
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I once read that no one on the Tour weighed more than 2.2 lbs per inch of height. And those guys were the sprinters. At 17 I would have had to weigh no more than 154 lbs.
As a matter of interest, this isn't true. Magnus Backstedt won a stage of the Tour at about 210lbs, roughly 2.7lbs per inch of height, and won Paris-Roubaix at the same weight. And even Fabian Cancellara, at 180lbs and 6'1", is a shade over your threshold at 2.24lbs per inch. There'll be quite a few others.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:30 AM   #13
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As a matter of interest, this isn't true. Magnus Backstedt won a stage of the Tour at about 210lbs, roughly 2.7lbs per inch of height, and won Paris-Roubaix at the same weight. And even Fabian Cancellara, at 180lbs and 6'1", is a shade over your threshold at 2.24lbs per inch. There'll be quite a few others.
Now this gives me a glimmer of hope thanks Chasm, I needed those stats. Clydes do have a dream to live for.

Bill
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Old 07-05-12, 07:33 AM   #14
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I loaded 5 years of riding data into Strava.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:37 AM   #15
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I have an expensive Giro helmet, I use bib shorts and some of my cycling jerseys unzip all the way, though I've been asked to not do so. I also tossed my water bottle at a bystander the other day on a ride, in honor of the TdF starting, he then chased me in his car (I believe the bottle should be empty)

In all seriousness, I'm currently suffering from dehydration from riding 8 of the last 10 hot days. Have been feeling light headed and dizzy going on 2 days now. Getting checked out by the Doc. today just in case, but skipped riding today as it was 85 at 8AM this morning.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:44 AM   #16
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Riding 100+ miles per day for 21+ days would most likely requires a hospital stay.
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Old 07-05-12, 07:44 AM   #17
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As a matter of interest, this isn't true. Magnus Backstedt won a stage of the Tour at about 210lbs, roughly 2.7lbs per inch of height, and won Paris-Roubaix at the same weight. And even Fabian Cancellara, at 180lbs and 6'1", is a shade over your threshold at 2.24lbs per inch. There'll be quite a few others.
Wow, I'm a walking skeleton at 6'2" and 160, compared to Spartacus

When I was in my late 20s and couldn't manage anything faster than a 2:56 marathon, I knew I wasn't a candidate for any world-class endurance event.
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Old 07-05-12, 08:21 AM   #18
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I loaded 5 years of riding data into Strava.
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Old 07-05-12, 08:22 AM   #19
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And their "average" speed for the 3 weeks, is more than my top speed.
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Old 07-05-12, 08:25 AM   #20
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When I realized that the only sponsor I would have a shot at is "The Old Country Buffet"


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...I once read that no one on the Tour weighed more than 2.2 lbs per inch of height. And those guys were the sprinters...
I'm less than that, 2.13lbs/inch(5'7" @ 143lbs), but I still wouldn't qualify. Even when I was 18, 2.28lbs/inch(5'8" @ 155--more muscle--was weight lifting), I wouldn't have been able to do it.

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Old 07-05-12, 08:36 AM   #21
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When pedestrians walk past me as I pedal up a not-too-steep hill.

If I were in the TdF (watch out for those porcine aviators), I'd actually be TOURING de France! Head unaerodynamically up for optimum gawking about, taking side roads, and snapping pics every three feet.
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Old 07-05-12, 09:02 AM   #22
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I visually check the clearance between me and the top tube of my bike!
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Old 07-05-12, 09:03 AM   #23
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When pedestrians walk past me as I pedal up a not-too-steep hill.

If I were in the TdF (watch out for those porcine aviators), I'd actually be TOURING de France! Head unaerodynamically up for optimum gawking about, taking side roads, and snapping pics every three feet.
Yep. I'm afraid the Red Devil would be shoving his pitchfork up my where the sun don't shine in order to coax me up one of those hills.
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Old 07-05-12, 09:15 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chasm54 View Post
As a matter of interest, this isn't true. Magnus Backstedt won a stage of the Tour at about 210lbs, roughly 2.7lbs per inch of height, and won Paris-Roubaix at the same weight. And even Fabian Cancellara, at 180lbs and 6'1", is a shade over your threshold at 2.24lbs per inch. There'll be quite a few others.
So there's still hope for me at 2.7.
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Old 07-05-12, 09:58 AM   #25
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My kit doesn't match the color of my bike. Other than that, I'm good to go. Why hasn't Vaughters returned my calls?
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