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Old 08-06-12, 06:22 PM   #1
Phil85207
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How do I quit volunteering for stuff.

No time for ridding anymore. Somehow the word got around that I fool around with woodworking and all the widows in the state have projects for me to do. Then my church, how can I say no to them. I am now doing a major remodel of the nursery. After finishing a new sound booth, and before that toddlers class room. Then there are the widows, fix or install just about everything from a water heater to a antenna and everything in between. I got one ride in last month and one the month before. I may have to move to another country, any suggestions?
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Old 08-06-12, 06:34 PM   #2
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"no!"
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Old 08-06-12, 06:41 PM   #3
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dude. volunteering is a gene, and a fine one. count it as a blessing. knowing how to
fix stuff, etc is a true gift, and should be used to help those in need.

when you do need some time for you, leave the phone off/unplugged, ride like the wind, and vanish... without a trace- for a while!

what goes around...

i like to barter for goodies- chocolate chip cookies with walnuts, peanut butter cookies, etc. maybe that is why i'm so fat- big heart and bigger stomach!
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Old 08-06-12, 06:51 PM   #4
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I know all the widows make me the best stuff and you know I can't resist temptation. It seems I always on a diet from all that stuff. I never eat that kind of stuff at home though.
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Old 08-06-12, 07:15 PM   #5
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When you get this figured out, please post the cure. My weekend:
Saturday: Four hours of scooping free ice cream for the neighborhood block party, plus clean-up and prep. For the first time in memory, no Saturday riding at all.
Sunday: Show up at 6:00 A.M. to help marshal the local annual century ride. (Fortunately, I got to put the road markings down two weeks ago, which I stretched into two centuries.) Direct the cyclists through the first potential intersection of confusion, then ride out the the last potential intersection of confusion to direct them there, then ride back to the start to help clean up and tear down until 8:00 P.M. At least I got to ride forty miles on my old town bike to get between sites. Also, I don't even belong to the bike club that puts this thing on.
Monday: Okay, Monday isn't the weekend, but it sure felt like it. I spent most of the day using a weed-whacker to clean up the local community garden. Again, no ride.

I'm just kidding about needing a cure for this. Volunteering is important for all of us. I've benefited from the actions of others in the past and will no doubt benefit in the future. I choose to happily pay it back, forward and sideways. That said, I will ride tomorrow, the next day and the one after that. Of course, I still have to squeeze in one more half-day of community garden chores and organize a local bike/garden tour this week.

To quote my father-in-law, "How did I ever get anything done when I was working full time?"
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Old 08-06-12, 07:24 PM   #6
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Old 08-06-12, 09:40 PM   #7
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Learn to say NO.
Been told . . . "Oh, but you are retired . . .'
Answer: 'yes, and my wife and I are really enjoying it!'
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Old 08-07-12, 06:14 AM   #8
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Easy, peasy. Schedule your rides and other desired activities and downtime in advance and then tell the offerers of volunteer opportunities what your time frame would be to complete the job. If they can't take a slow pace they can always take up a collection and pay someone to do it on their schedule. I am the PC fixit guy for my neighborhood "help the old folks age in place" nonprofit. I am always available to help but often with the caveat that "I will not be able to get over there until Monday morning," or whatever. Once in a while other volunteers step in if there is a need and there is always the Geek Squad.
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Old 08-07-12, 06:24 AM   #9
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I feel your pain. I volunteered for my local fire department, and too late found out that they say, "You only volunteer once, when you fill out the application. After that, it's a duty." That turned into a second career, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Volunteering is a very fulfilling part of my life, and judging by the responses above, I'm not alone.

I had to learn how to turn off the radio and take some time off. You have to find a balance, and that's different for everyone. Good luck--it's a nice problem to have, isn't it?
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Old 08-07-12, 06:29 AM   #10
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I think you ought not to say "no". Rather, I think you need to learn to say, "Yes, right after I get this short ride in." Being involved with others and volunteering is something many folks wish they had in their lives. I wouldn't be so eager to give it up. Yet, if you don't take care of yourself, you will have little to give. So, you've got to stop cutting out the riding. Do both, with purposeful balance.
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Old 08-07-12, 06:41 AM   #11
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I think you ought not to say "no". Rather, I think you need to learn to say, "Yes, right after I get this short ride in." Being involved with others and volunteering is something many folks wish they had in their lives. I wouldn't be so eager to give it up. Yet, if you don't take care of yourself, you will have little to give. So, you've got to stop cutting out the riding. Do both, with purposeful balance.
That's what I think too. Besides, riding a bicycle is supposed to teach you how to balance.
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Old 08-07-12, 06:44 AM   #12
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Phil,
Look at the fact you are healthy enough to be able to do the volunteer work. The alternative sucks, big time. Second, as said, learn to say NO when it is necessary to keep your own time that you need. The work is good for your soul and a great thing, but keeping your health and sanity are pretty important too. Best of luck, oh and can you stop by next week and fix my dirt bike's carburetor if you aren't busy?

Bill
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Old 08-07-12, 07:30 AM   #13
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Phil, I'm sure you find it rewarding but you must save a little time for yourself.
The world needs people like you.
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Old 08-07-12, 07:53 AM   #14
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It's fine to volunteer, but really, you need learn to say NO or not before a certain time of day, or after such and such project is complete, so you can ride. Ride. It sounds like you're being taken advantage of if they know of your other projects. But seriously, ride you bike--and you can say it's for health reasons if need to explain yourself(which is true as it's both physical and mental health)--but you should not need to explain yourself as you are volunteering your time and skills.
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Old 08-07-12, 08:38 AM   #15
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For me, the problem is not a simple "Just say NO!". It is far more complicated than that.

When I get involved in something -- whether it be Disaster Response for the Red Cross, helping with maintenance on a local RtR, or helping a friend with her kid --- I tend to pickup on the urgency and put their needs above my own. That is, I give their need the highest priority. Sometimes I justify that by telling myself: "It's only temporay. It's only for a little while". But it never is...

For me, the only solution is to put the priority back on the things that I need.

Ride the bike first. THEN take care of the widows...

And, the airline industry supports that thinking: "Apply your own O2 mask first..." It doesn't mean JUST take care of yourself. We are all in this together and we need to help each other as best we can. But, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help others.

I find the only way to do that is to take the bike ride first...
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Old 08-07-12, 08:40 AM   #16
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I know all the widows make me the best stuff and you know I can't resist temptation. It seems I always on a diet from all that stuff. I never eat that kind of stuff at home though.
How do you think they killed their husbands?
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Old 08-07-12, 08:43 AM   #17
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It's really very simple. Keep an appointment calendar. Put your own time on the calendar as well as the time you volunteer.
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Old 08-07-12, 08:47 AM   #18
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There's nothing Jesus said about helping others at the expense of yourself. Learn to say no.
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Old 08-07-12, 08:59 AM   #19
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Relegate. You don't have to take on all of it.
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Old 08-07-12, 09:04 AM   #20
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It's really very simple. Keep an appointment calendar. Put your own time on the calendar as well as the time you volunteer.
+1

Actually, that specific method does not work well for me -- because I tend to gravitate to those things I think are of the highest importance (and the widows can be VERY persuasive). So, for me the calendar is easily ignore... But I think it's very much the right idea...

In the end, you find what works best for you. Just make sure that you get adequate time for yourself. Your needs are just as important as the widow's -- and who else is going to volunteer to pedal the bike for you?

i.e, if you don't take care of yourself, nobody else will either...
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Old 08-07-12, 12:16 PM   #21
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Show the person who wants you to vounteer, your schedule. Show that person the skill and resources with estimated hours of time it takes and the materials, etc. Then ask that person how to solve it. Make that requester become a problem solver. The implication is that you cannot be expected to do a big project alone and be responsible for it.

If there is nobody in your community to do this, then it needs to be sent out to professionals who will get paid to do this. Then it becomes a community fund raising activity instead of your activity alone.
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Old 08-07-12, 02:45 PM   #22
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I need 30-40 volunteers every month to put on our TT at the Speedway. You can come volunteer AND ride!
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Old 08-07-12, 04:15 PM   #23
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Two hypnosis sessions will cure it. bk
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Old 08-07-12, 04:34 PM   #24
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When you get this figured out, please post the cure. My weekend:
Saturday: Four hours of scooping free ice cream for the neighborhood block party, plus clean-up and prep. For the first time in memory, no Saturday riding at all.
Sunday: Show up at 6:00 A.M. to help marshal the local annual century ride. (Fortunately, I got to put the road markings down two weeks ago, which I stretched into two centuries.) Direct the cyclists through the first potential intersection of confusion, then ride out the the last potential intersection of confusion to direct them there, then ride back to the start to help clean up and tear down until 8:00 P.M. At least I got to ride forty miles on my old town bike to get between sites. Also, I don't even belong to the bike club that puts this thing on.
Monday: Okay, Monday isn't the weekend, but it sure felt like it. I spent most of the day using a weed-whacker to clean up the local community garden. Again, no ride.

I'm just kidding about needing a cure for this. Volunteering is important for all of us. I've benefited from the actions of others in the past and will no doubt benefit in the future. I choose to happily pay it back, forward and sideways. That said, I will ride tomorrow, the next day and the one after that. Of course, I still have to squeeze in one more half-day of community garden chores and organize a local bike/garden tour this week.

To quote my father-in-law, "How did I ever get anything done when I was working full time?"


dude, you da MAN. i'm exhausted just reading the post. do you wear blue tights and a red cape?
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Old 08-07-12, 04:36 PM   #25
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I feel your pain. I volunteered for my local fire department, and too late found out that they say, "You only volunteer once, when you fill out the application. After that, it's a duty." That turned into a second career, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Volunteering is a very fulfilling part of my life, and judging by the responses above, I'm not alone.

I had to learn how to turn off the radio and take some time off. You have to find a balance, and that's different for everyone. Good luck--it's a nice problem to have, isn't it?
here we go, another super man- in a bunker coat and boots!
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