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Fifty Plus (50+) Share the victories, challenges, successes and special concerns of bicyclists 50 and older. Especially useful for those entering or reentering bicycling.

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Old 01-03-13, 02:03 PM   #26
Siu Blue Wind
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Dan it's great that your dad is able to be aware enough to make the final decisions his own. You are so lucky to have him for that long, and to be able to gain as much wisdom and lessons from him during that time.

Remind him of that. Remind him of all the times that you've learned from him, how you can pass those lessons on to those who follow. That you will share his stories, his experiences, his legacy. Remind him that things are going to be okay because of what he gave you. That he gave you the best that anyone could have given to their son. And thank him. Thank him for life. For making you who you are today.
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Old 01-03-13, 09:59 PM   #27
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Last year the Grim Reaper visited many of my friends and coworkers and hit my family, as well. I think I counted at least 16 funerals, all but one of which fortunately involved octagenarians. Having lost my father (Februrary, age 82, pancreatic cancer) and his only sibling (October, age 86, lung cancer -- lifelong nonsmoker), I honestly know what you are going through. (My mother, who would have turned 83 this year, died at age 66 from complications of MS.)

Your father is facing the inevitable the same way mine did. He invited us to fly to Utah last fall, and while my stepmother took my artist wife out on a fall colors photoshoot, he and I had a long discussion, which I treasure. (We caught him between rounds of chemo, when he was actually able to enjoy food and had enough energy to walk and talk with me.) He started by apologizing to me for anything he might have done at any time over the years, and I reassured him that I am probably the happiest SOB he knows, with my beautiful college sweetheart wife, two fine young adult sons, a delightful new daughter-in-law, robust health, a great career, and financial security. He surprised his wife with a two-week December cruise home to his birthplace, Kauai HI, where his mother had taught 4th grade and his father had been the chief engineer on a sugar planation -- they had a fabulous time, but his health declined rather rapidly thereafter.

My favorite way to approach the death of a loved one is the way one would leave a banquet -- we rise from our chair and walk slowly toward the door, thanking the host for a delightful evening full of beautiful music, witty conversation, warm camaraderie, and delicious cuisine.

Best wishes to your entire family at this difficult time.
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Old 01-04-13, 07:57 AM   #28
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Dan....my thoughts are with you. What strikes me is your dad's decision to leave on his terms. It shows an awareness of where he is in time and the integrity to be the one who makes the choices. Congratulations to you for having him in your life.
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Old 01-04-13, 10:05 AM   #29
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Dan,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost my dad to bone cancer 5yrs ago. It was 13 days from diagnosis until he passed. Over my workbench is an old picture of him wrenching on a '50 Ford. He taught me a lot about some things, not enough about others, but he was my dad.
George
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Old 01-04-13, 10:53 AM   #30
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Thanks to you all for your stories, support and suggestions.
You know, I can't help recalling the M*A*S*H episode where Hawkeye and Winchester are talking about their fathers. At some point, Winchester says, "I have a father, but you, you have a Dad."
I too have a Dad.
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Old 01-04-13, 11:11 AM   #31
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Thanks to you all for your stories, support and suggestions.
You know, I can't help recalling the M*A*S*H episode where Hawkeye and Winchester are talking about their fathers. At some point, Winchester says, "I have a father, but you, you have a Dad."
I too have a Dad.
You are a fortunate man.
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Old 01-04-13, 02:16 PM   #32
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Dan, I unfortunately know neither you nor your Dad.

But you both are heroes in my book.

The best of wishes to you and your family.
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Old 01-07-13, 08:30 PM   #33
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Dad passed today.

Early this morning. My brothers and I and our wives spent the day with Mom, making all the arrangements.I gotta say, those funeral directors are real pros.
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Old 01-07-13, 08:37 PM   #34
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Early this morning. My brothers and I and our wives spent the day with Mom, making all the arrangements.I gotta say, those funeral directors are real pros.
Very sorry to hear that news Dan. My thoughts are with you.
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Old 01-07-13, 08:51 PM   #35
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Thoughts are with you and yours.
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Old 01-07-13, 08:52 PM   #36
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Sorry to hear. All the best to you and your family.
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Old 01-07-13, 10:05 PM   #37
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I am sorry to hear this news as well... It is hard losing a dad. There is no way to replace him. You just learn to live with the hole that his passing leaves -- and treasure the memories all the more. But, in another way, you haven't lost him: He lives on in you through his genes as well as all the things (good and bad) that he shared with you and passed to you. He is part of you.
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Old 01-08-13, 06:34 AM   #38
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Dan,
Sorry to hear that your Dad passed away, I am glad that your Dad doesn't have to suffer any longer. My prayers for you and all your family as you say good bye to this fine man. If his son is any indication at all he was a very fine gentleman.

Bill
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Old 01-08-13, 06:50 AM   #39
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Thank you one and all. His life was long and richly blessed, his illness was brief and painless. We should all be so fortunate.
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Old 01-08-13, 07:30 AM   #40
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Early this morning. My brothers and I and our wives spent the day with Mom, making all the arrangements.I gotta say, those funeral directors are real pros.
Your Dad lived a long and blessed life. May he rest in peace.
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Old 01-08-13, 08:23 AM   #41
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So sorry. Hold on to the happy memories.
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Old 01-08-13, 09:04 AM   #42
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<<Hugs>> You're right - we should all be so fortunate to have a good life, loving family, and a graceful departure.
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