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Old 03-17-13, 12:38 PM   #1
billydonn
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Top 10 50+ Excuses for a Really Bad Ride.... help me complete the list!

Today I had a truly awful performance, with power that might be an embarrassment for a ten year-old. I have a few excuses thought up but some of them might not be very good, and I need help to refine my list. This might come in handy for some of you too you know. (I did not use the classic "headwind in both directions" because it was an indoor trainer session).

1.
2.
3. Got embrocation cream mixed up with my chamois butter
4. Bib bunch-up
5. Water bottle poisoned by my enemies
6. Too much cavorting in the bedroom last night
7. Bad batch of Androgel
8. Daylight Savings Time
9. Witches
10. Impure surfing on the interwebs (omit)
10a. Something lasted more than four hours that wasn't supposed to.

Last edited by billydonn; 03-17-13 at 07:15 PM.
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Old 03-17-13, 12:44 PM   #2
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3. Uncontrollable flatulence disturbing one's position on the bike
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Old 03-17-13, 12:46 PM   #3
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Inadequate pre-ride carb (pie) loading.
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Old 03-17-13, 12:46 PM   #4
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Localized disturbance in the Higgs Field.

Potholes big enough to swallow man and bicycle.

Bicycular Anthrax...
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Old 03-17-13, 12:51 PM   #5
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The dish on that alien installed anal probe is creating excess wind resistance.
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Old 03-17-13, 01:14 PM   #6
billydonn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Burkhart View Post
Inadequate pre-ride carb (pie) loading.
I was thinking maybe "pie poisoning"?
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Old 03-17-13, 01:27 PM   #7
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I didn't sacrifice an old bicycle chain to the Wheelset Gods this year.

My shoes are too tight.

I ate too much.

I ate too little.

Cats mating all night kept me awake and I only got 1 hour of sleep for the night.
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Old 03-17-13, 01:33 PM   #8
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3. Prostate gland kicking up lately.

2. My Joe Friel schedule said I couldn't go over 10 MPH today.

1. Forgot to wipe grease off from yesterday's colonoscopy. Can't um hold a wheel if you know what I mean.
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Old 03-17-13, 02:14 PM   #9
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Too many varieties to sample at the wine-tasting last night.
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Old 03-17-13, 02:30 PM   #10
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-Rode through Boston University campus on a sunny, hot day. The Scantily clad college girls wouldn't let me leave!

-Went on the tour of the Sam Adams brewery. Had too many "Free Samples".

-Started a ride, but ran into "The Walking Dead".

-Stopped at a Honey Dew Donuts. Found out that the Double Chocolate is truly addictive.
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Old 03-17-13, 02:32 PM   #11
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Needed a rest day and thought about it so much-It turned into reality.
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Old 03-17-13, 02:36 PM   #12
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My "cross training" is impacting my riding (anything you do that is not cycle related, including watching tv can be considered cross training)

i don't want to over train this early in the season

This works if you have a fluid trainer, and can be used under any conditions: the viscosity/pressure of the fluid impacted my ride because temps are lower/higher than normal.
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Old 03-17-13, 02:37 PM   #13
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10 b. Spent my free time reading the posts in the 50+ forum.

Bill
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Old 03-17-13, 03:05 PM   #14
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Friday Mrs. Grouch and I started a 20 mile ride. Her chain came apart after about 20 yards. Much as I hate that, I'm glad that it didn't come apart after about 10 miles.
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Old 03-17-13, 03:13 PM   #15
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Forgot to charge the E-bike battery?
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Old 03-17-13, 03:27 PM   #16
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The guage on the pump wasn't working and the tires were very under-inflated.
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Old 03-17-13, 03:30 PM   #17
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You have been working too hard and the Others in the crew have got jealous. Checked your tyre pressures and brakes recently?
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Old 03-17-13, 03:37 PM   #18
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1. My socks clashed with the colour of my bike

2. I hadn't had time to run in the new bar-tape
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Old 03-17-13, 04:54 PM   #19
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Just face it,

You're a member of the 50+ club and deserve to have a bad day every once in awhile
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Old 03-17-13, 05:14 PM   #20
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Forgot my Garmin. Can't ride well without it.
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Old 03-17-13, 05:58 PM   #21
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Nada. Coming from the land of the wind chill factor, ain't no such thing as a bad bike ride. Just bad weather.
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Old 03-17-13, 06:29 PM   #22
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1. Rode a double century the day before.
2. Biorhythms off.
3. Not enough coffee.
4. Forgot to overload on ibuprofen before ride.
5. I'm tapering.
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Old 03-17-13, 06:34 PM   #23
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On the arduous climb up mahn mountain cannon hill, I was beset by and licked by puppies.
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Old 03-17-13, 07:10 PM   #24
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Chest cold. Brake rub. Age.
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Old 03-17-13, 07:17 PM   #25
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Excuse 3 added: embrocation cream used instead of chamois butter.
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