I've mentioned before that my older brother was my riding partner for a good number of years, and because of health issues he is no longer able to ride. Over the years he has accumulated several good bikes (one I've been searching to find for a decade), lots of bike parts (cranks, pedals,wheels, saddles, handlebars, etc.) and about every tool you could ever need when working on a bike including a Park wheel truing stand and dishing tool, headset press and headset removal tool. Yesterday he emailed me and said that he wanted to give it all to me. He said he knew I would appreciate his collection and take care of it. In one way I'm quite honored that he would want me to have it all. He loved everything about cycling. So, I know he didn't reach his decision easily. Yet, I find myself feeling a bit sad about the whole thing. It breaks my heart to see the health/physical challenges he's facing. I haven't decided to accept his "gift" yet, and have mixed feelings about doing so. I suspect every time I look at something that used to belong to him, I'll bring back into my awareness his eventual loss of all motor functions - something I don't like to think about on a regular basis. Yet, I also suspect his request isn't just a "gift". Rather, it may be a way for him to feel OK about what happens to cycling items he has cherished. I'm not sure what I'll do. I know in terms of the overall state of human conditions across the globe this is a pretty minor decision, but it weighs heavy on me today.
Thanks for letting me get these thoughts out in the open. Perhaps clearness will come to me now that I've identified some of the thoughts and feelings.