rumrunn6

thanks for sharing that. we have a nature preserve near us with a 3 mile loop. over the years when I've had real lows emotionally and even physically, a walk around there always does wonders

bmcer

First and foremost, talk these feelings over with your doctor. And don't buy into the "pharmaceuticals will turn you into a zombie" BS. Very few of the people spouting that bilge have any first hand experience. The bottom line there is no one medication works for everyone, and if the side effect of one outweigh the benefits, then try another.

I do understand completely what you're going through. 4 years ago, I got off my bike after a short ride to the local Pete's coffee, and while trying to decide if I wanted a hot cocoa or not, I just dropped dead. Yeah, that's right, stone cold clinically dead, no pulse, no respiration for I don't know how long. Long story short, I was successfully resuscitated and subsequently under went a double bypass graft. I'm not gonna give you some mystical tale about near-death experiences, but I will tell you, the event was a life-changer. Once I got home, I started going through all the "what if" scenarios you describe, and it damn near turned me into a shut-in. Talked to my Dr.'s about it, and was started on Welbutrin. After the first week on meds, it dawned on me that there are no guarantees, but time spent waiting to die is time wasted. The only answer for me was to embrace that fact and spend whatever time I have left living. I got back on the bike, and started getting back into shape. It's still a work in progress, probably always will be. I've been off the anti-depressant for a couple years now, and I still have my ups and downs. But I refuse to live in fear. So long as I'm living I'm not dead, and I'd be some kind of fool not to take advantage as long as I can.

The point of this sorry tale is 2 fold. 1. You aren't alone. The feeling you're having are common and normal for people who've been through what you have. 2. There are ways to manage and mitigate the emotional fall out from such an event. Don't let fear get in the way of taking advantage of whatever helps.

bikepro

+10

SammyJ 

WOW, got in on this one late. Major Depression, Moderate, recurrent. I tried going off my Effexxor after an ill informed paster preached about depression medicine. Did fine for a while, but got to where I could not think. My GP made the connection and put me back on Effexxor. I will be on it the rest of my life.

Some of us have real chemical problems that are beyond our control. Period. Depression can be real and chemical, not evil and not sin!

With all that said, I do much better if I ride 3-4 times a week. Just 10-12 miles is all I need.

Stay here, ride and read. I posted about the only time I don't hurt is on the bike, and someone's response made my problems look silly.

Point, is, you do what you can, and keep doing it. Some one will do it better and/or faster. So what? What ever you can do on a bike is much better that being a couch potato!