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  1. #1
    Senior Member snafu21's Avatar
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    The End of the World! Which Folder?

    September, 2008.

    The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

    Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

    In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

    With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
    - every mile of road has two miles of ditch -

  2. #2
    jur
    jur is offline
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    A: The A-bike copy.
    My folding bike photo essays www.dekter.net/

  3. #3
    The Legitimiser Sammyboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    sang Joni Mitchell dirges
    How very DARE you!

  4. #4
    Senior Member snafu21's Avatar
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    "But now they only block the sun
    They rain and snow on evryone
    So many things I would have done
    But clouds got in my way"

    la-la-la. I've got my fingers in my ears......

    The Volksbike will need a rear rack, upon which to keep the **** and the ammo to ward off the hippies....
    - every mile of road has two miles of ditch -

  5. #5
    The Legitimiser Sammyboy's Avatar
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    Sam has now got the urge for going......

  6. #6
    Senior Member gringo_gus's Avatar
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    I think it would have to be a DT 20" variety - a good ride, sturdy and well made, standard parts, gives the feeling will go on forever...
    it aint the size of your wheels, its the rhythm of you cadence. And I got powergrips too.

  7. #7
    Senior Member gringo_gus's Avatar
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    ps hey I'm a senior member.... break out the 3-in-1 oil
    it aint the size of your wheels, its the rhythm of you cadence. And I got powergrips too.

  8. #8
    Professional Fuss-Budget Bacciagalupe's Avatar
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    So, uh, what flavour of crack are we smoking this morning?

    At the risk of actually providing a somewhat real response to a rather silly post.... If gas hits $2,000/barrel and there's still no alternate source of energy available, no bicycle on Earth is going to save you.

    P.S. Amy Winehouse is in such poor shape that she couldn't hit the side of a barn with a Nerf football.

  9. #9
    Lonesome No More nigelme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    September, 2008.

    The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

    Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

    In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

    With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
    I've been pondering on this very scenario for years ( except it's Country Joe being played ).

    There will be no consensus as to the appropriate post-apocalyptic-Folder.

    I know I'll be on my Brompton, or perhaps my Moulton; oh I don't know!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Lalato's Avatar
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    The true answer to this question is the $100 Strida Clone!!!!!!

    --sam

  11. #11
    Supreme Commander of CATO
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    The real answer: any bike that I can seize with my ***.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Speedo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.
    Rats! I tossed out my Betamax and Betamax videos when we cleaned house before moving.

    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
    Bike Friday New World Tourist of course. All the load carrying capability of full sized bike. Plenty sporty enough to flee from the wild wolf packs when not loaded. Painted Power Raspberry to keep your spirits up when the increased carbon in the atmosphere triggers not warming, but a new ice age!

    Speedo

  13. #13
    Raleigh20 PugFixie, Merc LittlePixel's Avatar
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    I think in the UK at least the humble Raleigh Twenty will truly become the Mad Max Interceptor of the post-apocolyptic world as they are to be found in every single suburban garage, [under the shelf with the tin of dried up creosote and the dusty unused soda-stream] and so can be hoarded in great numbers in your nuclear-proof basement along with a supply of Phil Wood retaining rings and stolen UN72 Bottom brackets...

  14. #14
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    It's the end of the world and you think the bus and train are going to be running?

    The volksvelo would be a nonfolder.

  15. #15
    Explorer CaptainSpalding's Avatar
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    Okay, petroleum fuels are banned. Are we postulating also that there is no electric powered personal or mass transportation?

    If there is still powered personal and mass transportation, I'd want the sturdiest folding frame possible. I'd want something that could withstand a lifetime of curb hopping and general abuse. I would second LP's nomination of the Raleigh Twenty, or I'd go for a Pocket Llama, which I understand has one of the stouter frames that BF makes.

    If there's no powered transportation at all - gulp - I don't think I'd want a folding bike. It would be a bike-centric society, so a folder wouldn't be necessary. Every accommodation would be made for regular bikes. Why would I need to fold it? There would be bike parking everywhere. No need to put it in the trunk of a car. No need to fold it to get on public transportation. What a terrible revelation - without gasoline, the folding bike has no raison d'ętre. Kind of depressing, when you think about it.

    - sob -

    - sniff -

    Wait a minute, I've thought of a justification for a folder in the post-apocalyptic wasteland. The only one who would need a folding bike is the ocean-going nomad who needs to stow a bike below deck on the sailboat.

    Gotta start saving for that boat. . .
    I came to say I must be folding . . .
    Dahon Jetstream XP
    Dahon Helios SL
    Strida 5.0
    Twenty project


    — or not . . .
    Fisher Mt. Tam (c.1988)
    Merlin Road flat bar project
    Schwinn Twinn Deluxe

  16. #16
    Senior Member Speedo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainSpalding View Post
    What a terrible revelation - without gasoline, the folding bike has no raison d'ętre. Kind of depressing, when you think about it.

    - sob -

    - sniff -
    In this post apocalyptic world indoor space is going to be at a premium. You're going to need a place to live that you can heat with a match. The ability to make your transportation small will be critical.

    Speedo

  17. #17
    Banned. folder fanatic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    September, 2008.

    The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

    Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

    In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

    With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
    I live in Southern California where disaster seems ready to strike at any given moment. So based on a guy who works in the motion picture and television sector that I know personally, I thought up this likely scenario involving folding bikes to the rescue. So now you know the underlying reason behind my own folders! For the complete story with photo see:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/world-of-folding-bicycles/265095922/in/set-72157594325178229/

  18. #18
    I... Don't care. nekohime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedo View Post
    In this post apocalyptic world indoor space is going to be at a premium. You're going to need a place to live that you can heat with a match. The ability to make your transportation small will be critical.

    Speedo
    I bet you I can heat a room that can fit a full-sized bike with a match. Here, hold my beer while I try it out...

    Wanna join my charity folding bike ride? Sign-up here!
    Quote Originally Posted by AEO View Post
    you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way :p

  19. #19
    Hauja
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    I think all this might happen during a possible Obama administration.
    Last edited by James H Haury; 06-27-08 at 02:12 PM.

  20. #20
    Senior Member DVC45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lalato View Post
    The true answer to this question is the $100 Strida Clone!!!!!!

    --sam
    Yup, but modified to take 3 speed S.A. hub (at least) and equiped with a bike trailer.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    September, 2008.

    The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

    Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

    In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

    With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
    I know the name of the movie: Mad Snafu and the Return to Velodrome

  22. #22
    Hauja
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    Quote Originally Posted by snafu21 View Post
    September, 2008.

    The world was plunged into chaos following the assassination of President George W Bush by Amy Whitehouse. Oil prices rose to $2000 a barrel, and the USA emergency military Government, run by Exxon Corp decreed that the vast prairies of America be turned over to bio-fuel production. Food riots swept the country from the West Coast.

    Thousands of ex-hippies remembered the counter-culture movies of the Seventies, dug out ancient Betamax tapes of 'Woodstock', and sang Joni Mitchell dirges to each other as they cycled toward the White House, in a final, post-apocalyptic mass bicycle rally.

    In London, members of the Hyde Park Folding Bicycle Society stormed Parliament, quelled the rioting masses with high pressure bicycle pumps and lumps of chewed-up blotting paper, and formed an interim emergency government, but not before starvation and daytime television quizzes had whipped the angry townsfolk into action on both sides of the Atlantic.

    With order restored, and dinosaur-juice energy banned, there was one final decision to be made. Which folding bicycle would become the Volkswagen of the, er, People, to transport them to a brave new car-less world?
    Why only one model Bicycle?Is this a soviet style planned economy( which never worked for the Soviets)?Will mechanical watches rule the day in timekeeping?

  23. #23
    Senior Member DLBroox's Avatar
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    Wait a sec now. What happened to the ones we actually already own? Have they been vaporized in this whole scenario?

    That's the one I'd be riding, the one that's already by the front door. I'm saving my money for food.

  24. #24
    Explorer CaptainSpalding's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Speedo View Post
    In this post apocalyptic world indoor space is going to be at a premium. You're going to need a place to live that you can heat with a match. The ability to make your transportation small will be critical.
    Fortunately my bike isn't too susceptible to cold. It can stay outside.

    Quote Originally Posted by James H Haury View Post
    Why only one model Bicycle?Is this a soviet style planned economy( which never worked for the Soviets)?Will mechanical watches rule the day in timekeeping?
    Funny you should say that. This is my watch: Poljot Aviator. Poljot 3133 movement.
    Russian. Mechanical EMP Proof!

    I came to say I must be folding . . .
    Dahon Jetstream XP
    Dahon Helios SL
    Strida 5.0
    Twenty project


    — or not . . .
    Fisher Mt. Tam (c.1988)
    Merlin Road flat bar project
    Schwinn Twinn Deluxe

  25. #25
    Hauja
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainSpalding View Post
    Fortunately my bike isn't too susceptible to cold. It can stay outside.



    Funny you should say that. This is my watch: Poljot Aviator. Poljot 3133 movement.
    Russian. Mechanical EMP Proof! http://i128.photobucket.com/albums/p197/Captain_Spalding/Zombie%20Squad/Watch.jpg[/IMG]
    I will be wearing my Vostok amphibia blue diver.Also emp proof and it's automatic.
    Last edited by James H Haury; 06-27-08 at 04:05 PM.

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