While I was away in Arkansas, the ex loved to point out that I was away. But since I came back to Florida, she has become the master of creating excuses to NOT letting me see the kids. Most weekends I wake up, get dress and start driving the 200 mile trip. But 15 minutes later I just make a U-Turn because I don't want to deal with the my ex's BS. And I keep reading books and articles on the topic, looking at opinions on both sides...
"It's your choice not to be around, and be forgotten by the kids"
But is it? Is it really a choice? When you drive for hours just to be told your daughter is busy playing with her cousins... yet the other kids (from other fathers) are let out the door and paraded? Is just BS and attempts to provoke situations.
When one parent gets in the way of the parent-kid relationship of the other, there is no "choice". All you can do is fight it in court. And the court will either do nothing, or shutdown on parent (either the mom or the dad). Either way, courts don't fix the problem of kids not spending time with both parents as they should. The only ones winning are the lawyers who get paid.
The only real choices I have is to be obsessed about it, or to vent and let it go... at least until the kids grow old enough to get them driver licenses.