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Old 05-03-05, 08:38 PM   #1
snowy
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Jury Duty!!!

I have jury duty tomorrow and I'm so not excited about this. I'm hoping that they will let me go since I'm a Paralegal. WAH!!! How sad is this I rather work then go to Jury Duty.
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Old 05-03-05, 08:40 PM   #2
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Tell your boss you're going to jury duty. Skip it and go ride
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Old 05-03-05, 08:41 PM   #3
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Yea, right I would feel guilty doing that.
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Old 05-03-05, 08:42 PM   #4
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Hey, you're not on trial.
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Old 05-03-05, 08:47 PM   #5
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YAY! Citizenship!
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Old 05-03-05, 08:48 PM   #6
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Ach! I'm sorry, jury duty can be a real drag. But (good lord, forgive me, I once taught civics), it is one of the responsibilities that comes with our rights! That said, bring a book! And I hope you don't get chosen.

One of the times I was called, I actually had to serve, despite my attempts to seem unreasonably opinionated during the selection process. Fortunately, it was a one-day trial. A friend of mine recently had to serve on a two-week trial! Anyway, good luck.
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Old 05-03-05, 09:25 PM   #7
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Don't worry Snowy, anyone who wants off can get exempted if they play the angles right. It's all a matter of how you answer the screening questions.
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Old 05-03-05, 09:30 PM   #8
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Yeah, hate everyone and say stuff like "he had it comin'!" and "I ain't drinkin' the juice, Jim Jones!". Stuff like that.

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Old 05-03-05, 09:34 PM   #9
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Great Koffee, I got that down, now the hardest part will be not to laugh while I say that.
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Old 05-03-05, 09:45 PM   #10
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A co-worker just got a notice to appear for Federal Jury duty..Thirty day stint..I would be steaming...He has to commute a couple hours through this horrendous traffic...He is very unhappy..They expect you to commute like 80 miles for maybe 50 cents a mile and like $5 a day....
First, can I ride to the court house..I will not give up my riding time..Hope they have showers...Second, I am just reluctant to sit in judgment of someone..Not knowing for sure I am sure of the evidence...
ANyone hear of the case in San Francisco..They busted some pot dealer who had a license to sell to the state for medicinal marijuana...Judge refused to reveal this status to the jury..Judge portrayed the guy as a dealer...Not true...He was conviced..
When the jury found out the hidden evidence, they were furious..but to no avail....They went to the judge in fits of anger..
I do not like to be manipulated. I do not trust the justice system..that cynicism would drive the rest of the jurors nuts in the jury room...Hope I am never picked..that is how I feel...Besides, money often can buy someone their justice while others have not that right. Life is unfair in so many different situations..I ever in this situation..I better be able to express these views...

Last edited by cyclezealot; 05-04-05 at 12:28 AM.
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Old 05-03-05, 10:20 PM   #11
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About twenty years ago I was on a jury that sat through a murder trial. I found it interesting, however two weeks of prime summer cycling weather went down the drain.

I was selected in March of this year to be available for at least one week. I only had to actually report one day, didn't get picked for a jury and was home by noon.
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Old 05-04-05, 12:05 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by snowy
Great Koffee, I got that down, now the hardest part will be not to laugh while I say that.
Naw, man. Don't hold back. Laugh like a crazy hyena. Laugh like you have no self control. Make sure they can see ALL your teeth as you laugh.

Keep your eyes wide open and show the whites of your eyes as you laugh.

Then drink some grape juice and offer some up to the judge.

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Old 05-04-05, 08:03 AM   #13
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Ask the judge "what time is it." Then say, "no further questions."
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Old 05-04-05, 08:15 AM   #14
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Just look at it as a good time to catch up on some reading.
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Old 05-04-05, 08:15 AM   #15
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Oh, and say stuff like "I pity the fool! I pity the fool!". Stab your finger in the air and point at the lawyers as you scream it out.

A Mr. T mohawk haircut wouldn't hurt either.

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Old 05-04-05, 09:01 AM   #16
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Spill coffee on yourself, then ask "Hey, does anybody here want to help me sue McDonalds?" Then laugh and say "Just kidding."

When they question you, persistently blame everything on freemasonry.
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Old 05-04-05, 09:20 AM   #17
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Spill coffee on yourself, then tell them you're going to sue them for the emotional distress they caused by having you appear there for jury duty.

Hey, don't you get paid for the day?

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Old 05-04-05, 09:44 AM   #18
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Yea, but not by your employer. They have to give you the time off without making you take vacation time, but they don't have to pay you. The court pays you a very small fee: around here, it is something like $12 a day plus some compensation for driving. Financial hardship is the reason many people get out of jury duty.
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Old 05-04-05, 09:50 AM   #19
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I got called once. I new both the lawers and was anxious to see the battle. One of them used a free exclusion to eliminate me. Neither would admit it.

Joe
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Old 05-04-05, 09:59 AM   #20
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Neither would admit it.
I doubt that was for legal reasons
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Old 05-04-05, 11:03 AM   #21
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Yeah, I got summoned for later this month. Ugh. But I like to make lemonaide! Wonder what the bike parking at the courthouse is like...

Actually, the worst part about jury duty for me are those people in the jury room that will stop at nothing to find a new friend...and I'm not very sociable.
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Old 05-04-05, 11:17 AM   #22
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My company pays our wages when we get jury duty. This is my first job that has and after 5 years I have never been called. I hope that it happens soon I could use a break
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Old 05-04-05, 12:14 PM   #23
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Jury update, I got out of it. I was asked the question of whether I think Police officers make mistakes, and I answered with that even Judges, Lawyers, and OUR Presidents make mistakes. THEY LET ME GO. JEEZ I wonder why.
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Old 05-04-05, 12:18 PM   #24
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Jury update, I got out of it. I was asked the question of whether I think Police officers make mistakes, and I answered with that even Judges, Lawyers, and OUR Presidents make mistakes. THEY LET ME GO. JEEZ I wonder why.
Nice work!

That even makes Spiderman happy.
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Old 05-04-05, 12:46 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by koffee brown
Spill coffee on yourself, then tell them you're going to sue them for the emotional distress they caused by having you appear there for jury duty.

Hey, don't you get paid for the day?

Koffee

hmmmmmmm.............

"Koffee Browns 50 ways to get out of jury duty" :Coming to a store near you:
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