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  1. #1
    Beausage is Beautiful Fugazi Dave's Avatar
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    Funny stupid injuries

    Today at work I cut my tongue on a Tootsie-Pop and had a pizza napkin soaked with blood by the time it stopped bleeding.

    Your turn. Go!

  2. #2
    Work hard, Play hard forum*rider's Avatar
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    wow, must have been a pretty big cut

    I got hit in the leg by a softball while running today. Now I know I shouldn't be staring at all the cute softball players while I'm running, I should be watching the ball...

  3. #3
    Senior Member liv_rong's Avatar
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    When i was in about 7th grade my friend noticed his chain tension was loose, so he put his thumb on it while riding and proceded to pedal his thumb part way throngh his sprocket. It was bloody and funny at the same time. On another note around the same age I was running and a quarter inch and 5 inch long stick got stuck in my shoe, some how it ended up stabbing me, I ripped it out and it bleed like hell for an hour. For days I could not walk at all, I ended up on cruches(spelling?). A week later I went to the doctor and they gave me x-rays, he said there was nothing in ther but the wound puntured into my caff(spelling?) muscle and I wouldnt be able to walk for a while. So I treated it with hydrogen peroxide a few times a day until two good size piece of wood ended up working its way out of my leg. It was crazy to see that, an more crazy to pull it out. I still have a bad scar, its like an indendation in my leg. Crazy situation.

  4. #4
    There was a message here
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    I fell over the handle bars on my quad when I tryed to do a stoppie to impress a really hot girl.

  5. #5
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    I zipped up my pants really quick after going to the bathroom and my.....junk got caught in the zipper.
    Is trick from science!

  6. #6
    Approaching Nirvana megaman's Avatar
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    I rode through some manure on the trail, there was just no way to avoid it. It was cold out and there was still ice on the trail in places. It was about a mile until I got back to my van. I wanted the manure cleaned off my wheels before I put it in the van. I decided to ride through some slushy ice to clean my wheels off. BIG MISTAKE. About half way through the slush I hit a large chunk of ice. The next thing I know my bent is going sideways and I'm starting to fall over. I put out my left leg to stop that from happening. My leg starts to be pulled under me. I knew I could be hurt real bad from this, so I let myself fall.
    I ripped a 2 x 3 chunk of skin off my left knee that just pored blood out of it. I put my handkerchief over it for a while until the bleeding slowed down. That happened on March 28, my first ride of this year. My knee finally heeled up completely about 10 days ago. I've just been able to kneel on that knee since a couple of days ago.
    I believe it was Lord Byron that once said "To my extreme mortification, I grow wiser every day."
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."
    -- Albert Einstein

  7. #7
    Adios, Mofo J-McKech's Avatar
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    When I was in 8th grade I was trying to stab a hole in a piece of paper but I was holding the paper in my hand and ended up stabbing through the paper and into my hand. A piece of lead broke off and is still in there.
    I am Signature-less

  8. #8
    Caffeinated. Camel's Avatar
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    Not funny-the infamous "finger", from someone on the fixed gear forum.

    A word of caution: Graffic photo's-put fixed gear&finger together (ouch).

    linky linky

  9. #9
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    I think my most stupid injury, ableit minor, really epitiomizes 'stoopid'.

    As winter was setting on, the plant manager asked a couple of us to hang sheet plastic over the drafty, antique windows of the office in the brownstone factory in which I worked. I opened up a stapler, positioned the plastic and set the stapler in place.... upside down. When I went to set the staple in the window frame, big suprise as the staple drove in to the fleshy part of my palm!

  10. #10
    NFL Owner monogodo's Avatar
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    I have a 2" scar on the outside of my right knee from my computer.

    I used to have a full-tower computer. It sat on the floor, under the desk, next to my chair. I had it configured to eject the CD tray when it finished playing an audio CD. I was working on the computer one day, and the CD finished, so the tray ejected. The quiet was a nice change, so I didn't remove the CD and close the tray. About 20 minutes later, the phone rang, and I turned to go answer it. When I pivoted in the chair, my knee scraped across the CD-ROM tray, gouging my knee.
    198? Colnago Super (Campy Record) | 1989 Eddy Merckx 7-Eleven Team Issue (Dura Ace) | Catamount MFS (1x8) | Top Image Neptune (SS)

  11. #11
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    I scratched the inside of my elbow with my pen onetime...but i didn't realize the cap was off. One of my friends looked over and said "dude, your arm is bleeding". I still have the scar.

    I was jumping off the swings at my former high school one day, and when I jumped off one time I got a lot of air. I landed on my toes with the back of my feet up...and one of them connected with my crotch. WORST THING EVER.
    Is trick from science!

  12. #12
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    One more. I was running along a wall, and didn't notice that it dropped off at the end. So I kept running, stepped as if the wall were still at the same height, and fell down really, really hard. I have a scar right above my foot on the front of my calf and on my right knee because of it.
    Is trick from science!

  13. #13
    無くなった HereNT's Avatar
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    I was showing my little sister how dangerous razor blades are, cutting up a styrofoam cup. I pushed too hard, and sunk the blade into my right hand. You could see the tendon according to the doctor. First time I needed stitches - 9 of them. You can still count the holes from the stitches on the scar, and I was maybe 12 when that happened...

  14. #14
    I'm fine. Cromulent's Avatar
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    Dumbest injury - I used to make pasta in an Italian restaurant (a national chain). I was just finishing up a batch and going to clean out the pasta machine. What I should've done is turned the thing off and waited for the blades to stop moving. Instead I opened the lid, which kills the power to the pasta maker, and stuck my hand inside. The blades weren't sharp or anything, but the motor that turned them was pretty powerful.

    Anyway, the blades hadn't quite stopped. One of them sunk into my hand, and blood started flowing into the pasta maker... right in front of a group of older ladies who were more startled than I was.

    I got a free ride to the hospital and four stitches. They had to throw that batch of pasta away. I didn't work there much longer.

  15. #15
    Pants optional!
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    Quote Originally Posted by rjkresse
    Dumbest injury - I used to make pasta in an Italian restaurant (a national chain). I was just finishing up a batch and going to clean out the pasta machine. What I should've done is turned the thing off and waited for the blades to stop moving. Instead I opened the lid, which kills the power to the pasta maker, and stuck my hand inside. The blades weren't sharp or anything, but the motor that turned them was pretty powerful.

    Anyway, the blades hadn't quite stopped. One of them sunk into my hand, and blood started flowing into the pasta maker... right in front of a group of older ladies who were more startled than I was.

    I got a free ride to the hospital and four stitches. They had to throw that batch of pasta away. I didn't work there much longer.
    This happened to a chef I worked for; the power went out, so she decided to clean the machine. She forgot to turn it off, and when the power came back, the machine turned on and her arm got caught in the blades. It was dragged through and crushed, but apparently her elbow was too big to fit through. Somehow, she pulled her arm back through and her husband took her to the hospital. They managed to surgically patch the bones back together (I have no idea how; the x-rays looked like a jigsaw puzzle), and several months later she could lift a knife (she couldn't cut with it, but just lifting it was a big step). Seems like she was back to normal within about a year, her arm was really weak but she had 70-80% functionality back.

  16. #16
    I'm fine. Cromulent's Avatar
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    Wow... I got lucky.

  17. #17
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    I might just be the king of stupid scars:

    1) Basketweaving. Cutting through a reed sliced open the inside of my left ankle. Divot scar.

    2) Pool cleaning. While cleaning the neigbors pool managed to step directly into the bug trap, taking out about an inch of skin. Gnarly divot scar

    3) Being a baby. When i was less than 3 days old the wrapping fell off of my hand and i scratched my right cheek with my fingernail. Divot 'dueling' scar

    4) Cat scratch. New kitten sleeping on my stomach, scared by my brother. 4" gash in my stomach above where an appendix scar would be. Line scar.

    5) Door. Not once, but twice i opened a door with my left hand that had a nail sticking out of the wall just enough to gouge my knuckle. Line scar.


    All of my would be cool scars either didn't scar, or are hidden. Like when i split open my eyebrow. That would be a cool scar, but i have eyebrows like Michael Dukakis. 9 chipped teeth from various sports, not particularly visible. A couple of those are winners though, like doing a face plant trying a 2 sommersault flip off of a 1 meter diving board...
    Say a prayer for all your friends and lovers waiting,
    so sad and patient by your side.

    Say a prayer for all your dreams in need of saving;
    it only takes a day to turn the tide.

    -Grey Revell, Save a Prayercard for the Devilman

  18. #18
    Senior Member bikecrate's Avatar
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    When I was in grade school our class was making a terrarium (sp?) and I was selected to break up pieces of charcoal for the bottom. I decided the best way was to jump up and down on the charcoal. What I didn't realize was a metal casement window was left open right where I was jumping. My head hit the corner of the window. I walked back into the classroom holding out a bloody hand, that had been over the gash on my head, to the teacher. She thought I was pulling a prank...then she freaked out. Many stiches later I was okay.

  19. #19
    Mmbeer Methos's Avatar
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    I was running with a bottle of beer in college, slipped and it broke in my hand. 5 stitches later... My brother ironically enough has had stitches on one occasion like myself and his were from a bottle of beer. Yes, we are both morons.
    Some Truths Feel Uncomfortable.

  20. #20
    Fritz M richardmasoner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PenguinDeD
    I zipped up my pants really quick after going to the bathroom and...
    Yeoch.

    More stoopid bike tricks

    I was riding and my bar tape was unraveling. The flap flap flapping in the wind was really getting on my nerves, so I grasped the loose tape and yanked to try to pull it off. My handlebar responded to the force input by turning abruptly to the left. The principle of countersteer was forcefully demonstrated when bike and body dumped to the right. Skin, flesh, and lycra donated to the county road surface . This was in the mid 80s sometime.

    RFM

  21. #21
    Theodore Roosevelt's idol TheKillerPenguin's Avatar
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    got another two

    I wanted to use a half pipe, but they had a pipe laying at the bottom of it. So I decided to go down anyway. It was my first time ever using a half pipe, and I was going to have to jump something at the bottom.

    It didn't work out.

    When I was younger I was riding my Huffy around with my friends. We used to see how high we could pop wheelies. Well, I won. I popped one so high my bike flipped over and i landed on my back. A lot of the top layer of my skin came off my right elbow.
    Is trick from science!

  22. #22
    By-Tor...or the Snow Dog? hi565's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PenguinDeD
    I zipped up my pants really quick after going to the bathroom and my.....junk got caught in the zipper.
    ----------------------------------------------------------

  23. #23
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by richardmasoner
    More stoopid bike tricks

    Yeah, ok... I was about 10 years old riding my stingray type bike. Leaning into the handlebars and jamming the crank would lighten the back tire just enough for me to get an eep, eep eep, little 'burnout' going with the cheater slick as I went up the hill. Well, once I got into the bars just a little too hard and the back tire got way lite... lite enough to faceplant me on the asphalt.


    Adding insult to injury, the tip of the banana seat followed through and slammed in to my coxyx (tailbone)! I couldn't sit comfortably for about a week and a half.

  24. #24
    Caffeinated. Camel's Avatar
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    I flipped over the handlebars when I was 15 or so, when I biked straighton into a full sized curb at speed(for no particular reason). Nearly broke my nose (blood gushing), minor facial abrasions (no scars-thankfully), broken front tooth. I still have the same fake tooth bond, my dentist said it would last 10 years-its lasted 20. That bike, which I had stripped+repainted niceley, went to the local recycle area.

    For some odd reason I stopped biking for about 10 years after that...did a goodly bit of skateboarding-then got my license.

  25. #25
    Announcer EventServices's Avatar
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    Brushed up against a freshly painted door and got a random paint brush bristle under my skin like a splinter. It went in about 1.5 inches.

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