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Old 10-07-05, 04:35 PM   #1
Turbonium
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help! i don't get what women want!

ok here is the story made short...
i asked a girl out, she said just to be friends. then she does not act like just friends. but now, the whole past week she been wanting to play sports after school with my friend! and next week she wants to do some yoga! like she is suddenly went from being minimal friends to lets hang out all the time! my feelings for her hasn't changed and i don't know what to do..
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Old 10-07-05, 04:47 PM   #2
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My crappy advice is to just ride the wave. Put the time in and maybe she'll see things differently after having spent so much time with you. That's what I would do. If it doesn't work out, at least you have a friend.
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Old 10-07-05, 04:58 PM   #3
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ah thanks a lot. that is my plan, to wait it out, and ride the wave. i am really getting mixed signals from her. like what i really did not get was that she said that she was glad that i asked her out and that it was out now.
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Old 10-07-05, 05:01 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbonium
ok here is the story made short...
i asked a girl out, she said just to be friends. then she does not act like just friends. but now, the whole past week she been wanting to play sports after school with my friend! and next week she wants to do some yoga! like she is suddenly went from being minimal friends to lets hang out all the time! my feelings for her hasn't changed and i don't know what to do..
Well I am 36 and still don't know what women want. I also don't have a clue what you want despite having re-read your post 6 times!
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Old 10-07-05, 05:06 PM   #5
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They want your money and your mind.
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Old 10-07-05, 05:07 PM   #6
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I don't have a clue what you want despite having re-read your post 6 times!
+1
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Old 10-07-05, 05:26 PM   #7
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They all want my body!

Ok seriously i have no-idea, but the best relationships start out as friends in my experiance, so hang with her see where it leads.
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Old 10-07-05, 05:52 PM   #8
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You need the "Ladder Theory".

http://www.laddertheory.com/
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Old 10-07-05, 05:53 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turbonium
ok here is the story made short...
i asked a girl out, she said just to be friends. then she does not act like just friends. but now, the whole past week she been wanting to play sports after school with my friend! and next week she wants to do some yoga! like she is suddenly went from being minimal friends to lets hang out all the time! my feelings for her hasn't changed and i don't know what to do..
Chill and take it easy. Hang out and have fun with her. Don't make a big deal out of it. Any kind of relationship goes through 100 or more "stages" in sequence. There are steps that cannot be reached without taking previous ones. A lot of people try to jump straight to the end and bypass all the intermediate steps... big mistake. So take it easy, have fun in the moment; forever and after is just recreating the present moment over and over again.

Communications is paramount; being able to clearly and succinctly get your message across and having the receiver understand what you're trying to say is vitally important... However, understanding is not a prerequisite for acceptance...
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Old 10-07-05, 05:57 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by mirona
My crappy advice is to just ride the wave. Put the time in and maybe she'll see things differently after having spent so much time with you. That's what I would do. If it doesn't work out, at least you have a friend.
i rather disagree. once you are in the friend zone/ladder it is hella hard to switch.
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Old 10-07-05, 06:05 PM   #11
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Here's another web site that may be of help.

http://www.nomarriage.com/
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Old 10-07-05, 06:07 PM   #12
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You don't get what women want? Welcome to the not so very exclusive club, my friend .
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Old 10-07-05, 06:12 PM   #13
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They want the same thing we want. The only difference is we take a straight path to it and they like to swerve around and backtrack a bit
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Old 10-07-05, 06:23 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbonium
help! i don't get what women want!
They want you to quit tring to figure out what they want. They want you to just be yourself - period!
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Old 10-07-05, 06:27 PM   #15
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[QUOTE=KingTermite They want you to just be yourself - period![/QUOTE]

That should work for at least a week. Then they'll want you to be yourself but different.
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Old 10-07-05, 06:40 PM   #16
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They want you to quit tring to figure out what they want. They want you to just be yourself - period!
yeah, so they can quickly compare you to the "ideal image" in their heads and judge whether you're worthy or not.

The thing is, we can be just about whatever we want. Think back 10-years, 20-years ago, you were certainly a different person back then right? And who you are today, is the directly result of where you chose to direct your life 10, 20-years ago. Where and who you will be in the future 10-years from now, will be the direct result of your choices today; it's perfectly OK to choose to be exactly the same person as you are now if you want.

In the past 10-years, I chose to be independent and started my own businesses, I choose to be a good salsa/tango dancer and took lessons, on 1-Jan I choose to lose 100lbs of excess blubber, get into shape and back into bike racing (35 lbs more to go), I choose to learn new skills and get various professional licences, I chose to be effective at public-speaking/communications and signed up for Toastmasters, I choose to be understanding and accepting of others, I choose to slow down, listen and hear what others are saying. Where I am today, and the person that I am, is based upon all the choices I have made in the past. Who and where I'll be in 10-years is directly by my goals and choices today!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Jejunum
Quote:
Originally Posted by mirona
My crappy advice is to just ride the wave. Put the time in and maybe she'll see things differently after having spent so much time with you. That's what I would do. If it doesn't work out, at least you have a friend.
i rather disagree. once you are in the friend zone/ladder it is hella hard to switch.
It's not impossible, but definitely easier to win the lottery, beat all the pro Poker players in Vegas, win the TDF & WorldChamptionships, eliminate world-hunger and achieve World Peace... in the same year...


However, Termite's got the right idea, you have to watch out for Number 1 in your life. Do your thing, keep your life on course, plan for the future and live in the moment. Chics dig confidence and hate wimpy guys they can wrap around their fingers. The thing is, you have to find a win-win situation where both you and her can get what you both want; it cannot be one-sided (at least not for long). However the path that you think it takes may be completely different from the path she think it's gonna take. Most likely, you both will have to give up what you "think" it's going to take and develop a new 3rd unknown path together. Every relationship's different based upon the unique qualities you have and the unique qualities she has and the combination's gonna be completely different from what both of you expected. So you both have to give up pre-conceived notions, open your eyes to see what's really out in front of you, accept it, and go from there... again, effective communications is key... stop thinking so much, just do it and have fun!

While I don't like 100% of the Ladder Theory, I do find that it brings up the issue of compatibility. In order to develop the win-win scenario, you must be with someone that's comparable to you on the Ladder. The mistake most people make is they look way up too high on the dating ladder for a mate, and yet they don't have enough to offer that person in return. A lot of guys go after the hottest, most outgoing, most fashionable, most popular chics in their circle of contacts and get continually shot down. Take a time-out and take a realistic look at yourself and what you have to offer; if you can't meet the expectations of that hottie's "ideal image", why are you butting your head against a brick-wall over and over again? It's not fair to her and causes you endless frustration... (there's a solution.... heh, heh)...

Anyway, I'm still trying to figure out this pairing:


Last edited by DannoXYZ; 12-01-05 at 11:34 AM.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:03 PM   #17
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You don't get that pairing?
The dude on the left probably has 6+ figures in his bank account.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:21 PM   #18
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1. You don't get to figure out what women want until they tell you.
2a. The friend to boy friend move never happens.
2b. I never tried to date any of my female friends.
2c. Conclusion: You'll never be longterm friends with a woman you'd rather date.
3. Put more time into cycling.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:29 PM   #19
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You don't get that pairing?
The dude on the left probably has 6+ figures in his bank account.

eight.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:33 PM   #20
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We want for all your bases are belong to us!

Muhahahahahahahaha!!!!!
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Old 10-07-05, 07:38 PM   #21
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ok i am sorry i couldn't explain properly. but i was reading the laddertheory.com thingy and this suited my situation.

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to ask her out. Jane tell Tom she does not want to go out with him and then end up breaking his heart and she wants to remain friends, but she was glad that Tom told her. The next few months contact between the two falls off. Jane starts showing attration to new guy next semester of school. That falls off, and Jane goes back to Tom and starts to be all nice.

I changed it a little to fit my situation. Hope it makes a lil more sence.

Last edited by Turbonium; 10-07-05 at 07:43 PM.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:42 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KirkeIsWaiting
eight.
ten..


Quote:
Originally Posted by telenick
They want your money and your mind
Just sometimes not your mind.

Last edited by 2manybikes; 10-07-05 at 07:48 PM.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:42 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbonium
ok i am sorry i can explain properly. but i was reading the laddertheory.com thingy and this suited my situation.

Scenario 1: Tom meets Jane. She's pretty and seems interesting to talk to. Tom and Jane start haging out and talking more and more. Tom develops an attraction to Jane, and one day tries to ask her out. Jane tell Tom she does not want to go out with him and then end up breaking his heart and she wants to remain friends, but she was glad that Tom told her. The next few months contact between the two falls off. Jane starts showing attration to new guy next semester of school. That falls off, and Jane goes back to Tom and starts to be all nice.

I changed it a little to fit my situation. Hope it makes a lil more sence.
I still don't get it. What do Tom Brokaw and Jane Pauley have to do with anything?


Last edited by Portis; 10-07-05 at 07:51 PM.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:45 PM   #24
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i took it from the ladder theory, tom is me, and jane is the girl.
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Old 10-07-05, 07:47 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by russdaz
They all want my body!
Imagine..........
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