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View Poll Results: Its On:
Pirates 27 12.33%
Ninjas 59 26.94%
Robots 35 15.98%
Clowns 9 4.11%
Santa 10 4.57%
40 Midgets 26 11.87%
Vampires 15 6.85%
Vikings 38 17.35%
Voters: 219. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-11-05, 02:38 PM   #51
drac_vamp
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vampires have more special powers. cloak of darkness, heart of darkness, fangs, super fangs, invisibility, immortality, forever young, forever midnight, blood letting, demon claws, hell wings, etc. i vote for the vamps. ninja totally couldnt kill a vamp, vamp would just dissipate or turn into a hellbat and totally fly off into the night and then catch the ninja while he is sleeping. two bites to the neck and ninja is totally out. vamp is an elitist too, he wouldn't even mess with no santas or midgets. vampire also has the power of the amulet. have you seen lost boys? come on. no contest. johnny depp as a pirate? gah. vampyre is thin and wiry like fausto coppi too.
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Old 10-11-05, 02:48 PM   #52
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Hell no! Ninjas don't sleep, they just rest, waiting to **** people up.
Ninjas can also disappear, so if the vampire got all froggy and the ninja was backed into a corner or something he'd just bone out, then come back during the day when the vampire was out and chop that fem-ass vampire up.

Don't forget, ninjas like to breakdance too:



But watch out, what if it was a vampire-ninja? That cat could rule the damn world...
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Old 10-11-05, 02:53 PM   #53
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40 midgets kick the crap out of everyone except 41 totally different midgets.
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Old 10-11-05, 02:55 PM   #54
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maybe the best ninja could take the newest vampire, but that would still be a longshot. dont forget that vampires also have shadow powers and can also do mind tricks and put hypnotic spells out there. ninja has no chance, really. ninja runs on honor, right? well, the highest honor wont ever win when it comes to a thirst for blood that simply cannot be quenched. vampires stomped from the eastern regions of europe all through mongolia and junk. vlad the impaler. heads on sticks. cant be touched. ok, not to keep this going any longer than it needs to, but have you seen the way 20 or 200 ninjas fight? yeah, not the most effective way. they go at the victim individually, one at a time, like a crummy band full of technical guitar wizards all trading off sweet riffing solos. yeah, they dazzle, but no one can work together. one ninja always has to try and outdo the next. if they just bumrushed the dude maybe they'd get somewhere. but anyways, vampyres still win in my book. theyve got centuries of experience and keep staying young forever.
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Old 10-11-05, 03:10 PM   #55
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Dude, no way. You know why vampires stopped in mongolia? Because they couldn't take the ninjas that were spreading out from Japan. Ninjas are also impervious to hypnosis and mind-tricks, they're like muthafukin jedis. Vampires fight the same way when they can't use their wussy-powers. Dazzle, one at a time? You're thinking of kung-fu masters, ninjas only do what it takes to get the job done, no flash, just kill, then they sheath the sword and disappear. They don't even care, vampires are like blood-junkies, they have a weakness, ninjas don't give **** about anything except winning. Head to head, a ninja would straight jack a vampire. I've seen it, they run through those punks like nothing. Don't forget, the ninja never sleeps, he just rests, waiting...
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Old 10-11-05, 03:17 PM   #56
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Old 10-11-05, 03:17 PM   #57
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a ninja is a man, and man is fallable. man has weakness and vampire exploits that all night long. vampire runs on the fear he instills in the hearts of man, vamp breathes in the blood weeks and months before he even makes the kill. he stalks and haunts and breaks the human down until there is nothing left to do but offer up the neck as sacrifice. what makes the ninja impervious to this? he is a man afterall. vampire lives on this and his lips curl over his fangs when he knows that a person will submissively offer those veins up as a gift and the ultimate reward. ninja is cool though, all black outfit. yes he is a cunning swordsman and can throw stars and use smoke bombs, but still, he is a man. vampire is something else, half god and part wizard and part darkness. "he just rests"... that's all the vampyre needs! thats what the vampire wants. just a flicker and an instant of letting down the guard and he swoops down for the bite, the taste, and ninja hardly has time to scream.
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Old 10-11-05, 03:53 PM   #58
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Ninjas have no fear for the vampire to exploit. The rest they take doesn't involve letting the gaurd down. It's just rest as in, they aren't killing anyone right now, type of rest. Jedis homie, muthafukin jedis....
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Old 10-11-05, 04:03 PM   #59
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ninjas are wanna be jedis in that respect. but if you do the math and trace the roots i bet you find that a lot of jedi-ness is handed down from vampiric traditions. not to say that the jedis pirated it (har dee har har) but they did bite some of the styles (oh another pun!) anyhow, ninjas are cool. i'll agree with that. but i still think a vamp would totally vamp a ninja.
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Old 10-11-05, 04:30 PM   #60
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I don't know man, I still gotta side with ninjas. I mean, vampires are bad and all, but they're all cracked out about blood, ninjas are straight killers. They got they're own special powers and **** too, not just smoke bombs, but like **** you don't even know about. Still though, gotta hand it to vampires, they some scary *****es...

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Old 10-11-05, 04:34 PM   #61
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40 fargin' midgets would totally crush vampires, ninjas, Santa, pirates, ninja vampires, Santa pirates and pirate ninja vampires. Unless it was a basketball game.
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Old 10-11-05, 04:36 PM   #62
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dude, vamps are not cracked out at all. they are totally victorian and staunchy. they're all touchy and flirty too. they may feast on junky blood now and then when they are feeling indulgent, but i think they have their manners in check. i mean, most of them. there's bad apples in all groups. i dont think youd ever hear a vampire say "i'm totally jonesing for some blood" or anything, or like doing lame sh*t for blood. they wouldn't turn to ho'ing nor would they lower themselves to thieving useless crap and pawning it on the street like vitamins or batteries. vamps are all pac heights and russian hill, not tl.
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Old 10-11-05, 04:51 PM   #63
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damn, where are all the clown supporters! clowns get no respect.

hasn't anyone seen "Killer Klowns from outerspace" they could knock any of those spastic ninjas, while the most excellent soundtrack by The Dickies plays eerily in the background
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Old 10-11-05, 05:01 PM   #64
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Has anyone seen the movie "Bloodsucking Freaks"? Remember that sadistic little midget with the poofy afro who tortured the naked women? After he killed them he would jump up and down and dance a little jig. Get forty midgets like that, and NOBODY would stand a chance.
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Old 10-11-05, 05:34 PM   #65
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Midgets? Clowns? No way, a vampire or a ninja could easily own 40 of either. It wouldn't even be a contest.

The poll choice isn't "killer clowns from outer space", it's clowns. Like dorky, soggybutt, balloon-animal-making, circus clowns. I'll tell you right now, a ninja won't just kill the clowns, he'll wreck shop on the whole damn circus, except the monkeys. He'd free the monkeys and have them do his bidding. Oh, and the elephants too, just cuz ninjas are cool with elephants.

40 midgets? I don't care how sadistic the midgets are, unless they're ninja-midgets they're getting their heads chopped off. Ninja doesn't care, he has no compassion, he'll kill 'em and then go drink sake with his buddy the vampire(who'd be drinking shots of blood, but they could still kick it).

Dude, I bet the vampire and ninja would totally get along, they probably could share their trade-secrets and make a killing(haha)....
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Old 10-11-05, 05:46 PM   #66
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yeah, i bet ninjas and vamps could bury the hatchet and let the water flow under the bridge like so many buckets of blood from all of the victims they slayed. for sure. vamp is accepting and willing to be friendly, but he is always on his toes you know? at the heart of it the vampire is always going to be a careful crook and a loaner for the most part. i guess ninjas are similar in that respect. the vampire would say something like "vhwelllll my frieeennnnddd,,, muahaha, vwould you like too sample some blood?" and the ninja would be like "yeeeeee-ahhhh" or maybe make some stealthy moves with his eyes in affirmation.

why 40 midgets? why not just one? like isn't one midget equivalent in strength and killing ability? no joke at all, but monday night on the corner of larkin and post there was a midget hooker. now, anyone familiar with the area can attest to the fact that it is pretty much tranny-hooker central. the midget, by far, was the most intense and crucial individual walking the track that night. imagine, black leather coat over all pink velour jumpsuit, tugging on your sleeve as you walk half drunkenly half stoned from thaifood just a block away and she asks "hey, bud, lookin for somefin' tuh-night?" and you want to laugh instantly when you half expect to accidentally blurt out some outrageous crack about her not having to get on her knees for a bee-jay. but seriously, that midget would probably get the best of a pirate or a clown i think. she was tough looking, bad hair, weathered skin, lookin like she had a chip on her shoulder. it was funny, for once the transvestites across the way had something to laugh about. like the meat-head jock dudes from fresno or the south bay driving around making fun of hookers finally had the best fodder for their weak humor and the tranny-hookers were not the butt of the jokes for one night.

still though, she couldn't even touch a vamp or a ninja though.
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Old 10-11-05, 05:52 PM   #67
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okay, who the f|_|ck forgot cowboys?

that's not cool.
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Old 10-11-05, 06:44 PM   #68
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vegan messengers
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Old 10-11-05, 07:04 PM   #69
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F*ck cowboys. All they can beat is their meat. 40 psycho midgets rule!
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Old 10-11-05, 08:09 PM   #70
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Where is Mothra on that list. Mothra can kick the asses of all these puny beings.

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Old 10-11-05, 09:05 PM   #71
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ninjas my friends, ninjas
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Old 10-11-05, 09:40 PM   #72
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I voted for vampire ninja pirates!


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Old 10-11-05, 09:50 PM   #73
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The Setup: Spend a week up in a tree until the 'target' and company trot by, then jump down, kill all but one or two, then hide while they screamingly run for their life.

The Effect: Some Ninja ghost appeared, slaughtered the rich guy, then vanished into thin air... and we would have been killed too, if it weren't for our skills with the bo staff.

Ninjas Rock
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Old 10-11-05, 10:00 PM   #74
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jyossarian
40 fargin' midgets would totally crush vampires, ninjas, Santa, pirates, ninja vampires, Santa pirates and pirate ninja vampires. Unless it was a basketball game.
Actually, I think 40 midgets could be competitive on the court. Have you seen 40 midgets get out in transition and run the floor?
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Old 10-11-05, 10:13 PM   #75
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Me and my Epileptic Grind Attack will flatten planets. PLANETS!
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