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  1. #1
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Advise Column...

    Having problems with your partner?

    Unsure of what to wear to an up coming fete?

    Are the kids out of hand and unruly?



    This is the place to post your questions. All questions will be answered personally, promptly and publicly. Nothing is to bizarre or challenging, so ask away.


    Best wishes,
    Trans Landers

  2. #2
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    I've been running down the road
    Ya know...trying to loosen my load.
    I've got SEVEN women on my mind
    Four want to own, 2 want to stone me
    One just said she's a friend of mine.

    What do I do about it?
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  3. #3
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite
    I've been running down the road
    Ya know...trying to loosen my load.
    I've got SEVEN women on my mind
    Four want to own, 2 want to stone me
    One just said she's a friend of mine.

    What do I do about it?

    Dear King Termite,

    If you wanna hang out youíve got to take her out; cocaine.
    If you wanna get down, down on the ground; cocaine.
    She donít lie, she donít lie, she donít lie; cocaine.

    If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; cocaine.
    When your day is done and you wanna run; cocaine.
    She donít lie, she donít lie, she donít lie; cocaine.

    If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine.
    Donít forget this fact, you canít get it back; cocaine.
    She donít lie, she donít lie, she donít lie; cocaine.

    Snortingly,
    Trans Landers

  4. #4
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TransLanders
    Dear King Termite,

    If you wanna hang out youíve got to take her out; cocaine.
    If you wanna get down, down on the ground; cocaine.
    She donít lie, she donít lie, she donít lie; cocaine.

    If you got bad news, you wanna kick them blues; cocaine.
    When your day is done and you wanna run; cocaine.
    She donít lie, she donít lie, she donít lie; cocaine.

    If your thing is gone and you wanna ride on; cocaine.
    Donít forget this fact, you canít get it back; cocaine.
    She donít lie, she donít lie, she donít lie; cocaine.

    Snortingly,
    Trans Landers
    Kudos!! A good reply!
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  5. #5
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite
    Kudos!! A good reply!
    Thank you. I'm glad it helped. Please don't forget to tell your friends.

    Trans Landers

  6. #6
    Deep In The Battlefield.. AtlPirate's Avatar
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    why the TRANS?

  7. #7
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    hey unnamed girl did you get your idea from a "jealous guy" cuz it seams like a good medium for a wise cracken girl and I wish you the best; but at least invite your inspiration on over if nothing else but to give you some static for old time sake....

  8. #8
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    What would they say
    If we'd up and ran away
    From the roaring crowds
    And the downtown aggravations
    That we traded them away
    For a quiet country day
    Now would they let us run
    Or would they try to find us....


    Now would they?




    (Bonus points if you can tell me where this song is from and who sang it.)

  9. #9
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AtlPirate
    why the TRANS?

    Dear AtlPirate,

    Argh... Born a 'pointer' now a 'setter'

    Shiver me timbers,
    Trans Landers

  10. #10
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by outakontroll
    hey unnamed girl did you get your idea from a "jealous guy" cuz it seams like a good medium for a wise cracken girl and I wish you the best; but at least invite your inspiration on over if nothing else but to give you some static for old time sake....

    Dear outakontroll,

    I get my insperations from all over the world, but "Jealous Guy" was a strong motivator. Insperation, persperation it's all the same to me. I'm sorry my 'tuner' is a little weak and I'm having problems recieving that last thought.

    Humourously yours,
    Trans Landers

  11. #11
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Hey TransLanders, what about me? You left me stranded. That's messed up.

  12. #12
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
    What would they say
    If we'd up and ran away
    From the roaring crowds
    And the downtown aggravations
    That we traded them away
    For a quiet country day
    Now would they let us run
    Or would they try to find us....


    Now would they?




    (Bonus points if you can tell me where this song is from and who sang it.)

    Dear Siu Blue Wind,

    I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school
    Or steal my daddyís cue and make a living out of playing pool
    Or find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helpiní hand
    Oh maggie I wish Iíd never seen your face
    You made a first-class fool out of me
    But Iím as blind as a fool can be
    You stole my heart but I love you anyway


    Pointlessly,
    Trans Landers

  13. #13
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TransLanders
    Dear AtlPirate,

    Argh... Born a 'pointer' now a 'setter'

    Shiver me timbers,
    Trans Landers

    Or could that be TRANSlated to "was an outie, now an innie?"

    ~Oh, no offense intended of course

  14. #14
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
    Hey TransLanders, what about me? You left me stranded. That's messed up.

    Dear Siu Blu Wind,

    All things in due time my dear.

    Hurriedly,
    Trans Landers

  15. #15
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Hey, now no cheating! You're looking it up, aren't you?

  16. #16
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
    Or could that be TRANSlated to "was an outie, now an innie?"

    A bright child you are Siu Blue, looks like you've got me licked

    Aimlessly,
    Trans Landers

  17. #17
    fiddling with my bike msviolin57's Avatar
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    Dear Trans Landers,

    I have a problem with spelling and grammar. Mistakes annoy me. I can't stand to see "seperate" in print. I hate it when people add apostrophes when making a word plural (i.e. plural's). Then there's that whole advise vs. advice conundrum. Can you give me some advice? What do you advise that I do?

    I love your advi*e column, by the way.

    Grammatically yours,
    MsV

  18. #18
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
    Hey, now no cheating! You're looking it up, aren't you?
    Looking what up? You discredit me for being resourseful in my answers?

    Wondering,
    Trans Landers

  19. #19
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind
    What would they say
    If we'd up and ran away
    From the roaring crowds
    And the downtown aggravations
    That we traded them away
    For a quiet country day
    Now would they let us run
    Or would they try to find us....


    Now would they?




    (Bonus points if you can tell me where this song is from and who sang it.)
    Thanks for the effort Translanders....
    Any other takers?

  20. #20
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msviolin57
    Dear Trans Landers,

    I have a problem with spelling and grammar. Mistakes annoy me. I can't stand to see "seperate" in print. I hate it when people add apostrophes when making a word plural (i.e. plural's). Then there's that whole advise vs. advice conundrum. Can you give me some advice? What do you advise that I do?

    I love your advi*e column, by the way.

    Grammatically yours,
    MsV

    Dear MsV,

    Might I suggest to you any number of excellant OTC laxatives? It would be a good thing to losen up and stop being so anel retentave about spelling and grammer. Should you continue this you'll be shure to contract a severe case of hemerhoids. Take it from one who has just gone through a bout of the old 'roids. You don't want them.

    Moving along,
    Trans Landers

    PS ~ Thanks for the complemint. Pleas tell you're friends. I'm looking for national sindication

  21. #21
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    Dear Trans Landers,

    I've been leading a dual life - two-wheel demon by day, four-wheel horsepower junkie by night - but I've not had the courage to admit it openly before now. I'm afraid my need for speed and love of all things fast will bring the wrath and ridicule of those devoted to bicycle power only. How can I convince the fanatics that I can be a "true" cyclist and *GASP* a cager too??? I'm tired of feeling guilty for my secret pleasure. Any advice would be appreciated!

    A faithful reader.
    Last edited by rockymtn_girl; 10-23-05 at 08:37 PM.
    [

  22. #22
    Senior Member TransLanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockymtn_girl
    Dear Trans Landers,

    I've been leading a dual life - two-wheel demon by day, four-wheel horsepower junkie by night - but I've not had the courage to admit it openly before now. I'm afraid my need for speed and love of all things fast will bring the wrath and ridicule of those devoted to bicycle power only. How can I convince the fanatics that I can be a "true" cyclist and *GASP* a cager too??? I'm tired of feeling guilty for my secret pleasure. Any advice would be appreciated!

    A faithful reader.

    Dear Faithful Reader,

    Closets are for clothes, welcome to the light. It was a major step, your coming out. Don't you feel cleansed?

    Might I suggest something as simple as an avitar change to better express your inate need for speed?



    After all, bicycles are for tree huggers & sissies!!

    Fuelishly,
    Trans Landers

  23. #23
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    UH.....OHHHHHH........Someone's gonna get in trouble.....neener, neener, neeeeeennerr!!!!!

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by TransLanders
    Dear outakontroll,

    I get my insperations from all over the world, but "Jealous Guy" was a strong motivator. Insperation, persperation it's all the same to me. I'm sorry my 'tuner' is a little weak and I'm having problems recieving that last thought.

    Humourously yours,
    Trans Landers

    FM... no static at all.... playin blues and elvis and somebodys favorite .. song...... FM...

  25. #25
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TransLanders
    Dear Faithful Reader,

    Closets are for clothes, welcome to the light. It was a major step, your coming out. Don't you feel cleansed?

    Might I suggest something as simple as an avitar change to better express your inate need for speed?

    After all, bicycles are for tree huggers & sissies!!

    Fuelishly,
    Trans Landers
    Well I took your suggestion to heart and made an avitar out of my hubby's car (mine's not finished yet. ) As for bicycles are for tree huggers & sissies...I'm still confused about that. Does that mean I'm a sissy trapped in a gearhead body or a horsepower junkie trapped in a tree hugger's body?
    [

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