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Old 10-25-05, 12:02 PM   #1
LittleBigMan
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An angry motorist swerves to run me off the road. I know this because he also shouted, "Get the he11 off the road, you moron!!" I catch up to him at the next red light. The appropriate VC response is:

a. Ignore him.
b. Get his tag number and report him to police.
c. Hock up a loogie onto his window.
d. Whack his quarter panel with my u-lock.
e. Give the motorist a steely, alpha-dog stare.

I'm sharing the lane with motorists because the lanes are fairly wide. There's a lot of traffic, so I'm sort of walled-in. It's dark, and all of a sudden there's this smelly roadkill in front of me I can't avoid, so I run over it. It gets on me and my bike. The appropriate VC response is:

a. Wear the roadkill (and flies) with pride and show it off at work before I wash it off.
b. Pull over and get out my special VC roadkill clean-up kit and go to work.
c. Ride on and hope the stench will dissipate before I get to work.
d. Stop in at McDonald's, wait in line and ask the cashier if I can use the bathroom to wash the roadkill guts off (using my "indoor voice.")
e. Whack the roadkill with my u-lock.
f. Give the roadkill a steely, alpha-dog stare.

I'm crossing a huge intersection with traffic. I'm in the center of the lane flowing with motorists through the intersection. After I enter the intersection, the light turns yellow, then red before I'm even halfway through. The appropriate VC response is:

a. Hammer like he11.
b. Turn at a right angle in the direction of traffic coming from my right.
c. Yell, "AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!" and kiss my a$$ goodbye.
d. Both b and c.
e. Trust that motorists will all wait for me to get through before they stomp on the gas.
f. Hold up my u-lock in a threatening manner.
g. Give every motorist a steely, alpha-dog stare.

I'm surfing on BikeForums and start a bogus thread. The responses become abusive and out-of-hand. The appropriate VC response is:

a. Be nice to everyone.
b. Flame everyone.
c. Hold up my u-lock in a threatening manner.
d. Give my computer screen a steely, alpha-dog stare.
e. Ask Serge what the appropriate VC response is.
d. Do nothing, it's only a joke anyway.



(With apologies to Serge, who I know is a good sport.)
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Old 10-25-05, 12:07 PM   #2
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b - because he did attempt to endanger your life. otherwise it would probably be an a
b or c - I under no circumstances would ever run over road kill even if i had to swerve into traffic.
a - except youshould combine it with a nod to everybody at the intersection who will be taking our turn next - realllly should judge lights better so this doesn't happen. In the world of adults this happenign repetitively is considered childish/immature, negligent.
e) I dont know who the heck Serge is but maybe he will know.
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Old 10-25-05, 01:18 PM   #3
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What's a VC? VietCong?
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 10-25-05, 02:17 PM   #4
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Vicious Commuter?
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Old 10-25-05, 02:54 PM   #5
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Vehicular Cycling... riding like you're a car. Vroom.

By the way, I answered bunny with pancake on head for all the questions.
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Old 10-25-05, 04:36 PM   #6
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VC is also a synonym for ENDLESS discussion on bike lane use and efficacy
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Old 10-25-05, 05:06 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mirona
By the way, I answered bunny with pancake on head for all the questions.
But that wasn't an option for question #2.
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Old 10-26-05, 08:40 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasGuy
b - because he did attempt to endanger your life. otherwise it would probably be an a
b or c - I under no circumstances would ever run over road kill even if i had to swerve into traffic.
a - except youshould combine it with a nod to everybody at the intersection who will be taking our turn next - realllly should judge lights better so this doesn't happen. In the world of adults this happenign repetitively is considered childish/immature, negligent.
e) I dont know who the heck Serge is but maybe he will know.
Don't know if it's true or not, but I read or heard that car tires have been punctured by the bones of roadkill sometimes. Of course, a bike might not be heavy enough to splinter bones and whatnot, but if the bones are already splintered....

Um, yeah.
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Old 10-26-05, 09:52 AM   #9
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i chose the ulock answer for all of them.


i am SO vc
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Old 10-26-05, 10:33 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Karldar
Don't know if it's true or not, but I read or heard that car tires have been punctured by the bones of roadkill sometimes. Of course, a bike might not be heavy enough to splinter bones and whatnot, but if the bones are already splintered....

Um, yeah.
Yes, same here. Would never ever chance it with road kill.
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Old 10-26-05, 10:33 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by dosoner
i chose the ulock answer for all of them.


i am SO vc
Where VC stands for Vicious commuter
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