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  1. #1
    JOCP Lives! TheDTrain's Avatar
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    My english class is awesome. We do absolutely nothing.
    Last week, we had like the first vocab quiz of the year. It was multiple choice and C through S was in alphabetical order.
    Then we had an assignment where you just needed to put together a short story with a bunch of vocab words in it.
    Here's what my friend wrote and READ ALOUD in front of the whole class.


    Quote Originally Posted by craighooper
    dchoop12 (9:49:09 PM): u want the stroy?
    DH8977 (9:49:19 PM): yea
    9:49:31 PM: Attempting to directly connect to dchoop12.
    9:49:31 PM: You are now directly connected to dchoop12.
    dchoop12 (9:49:37 PM): Craig Hooper
    English
    Period G

    The tale I am about to say is an abnormal one to say the least. It is also a highly absorbing, once you start you have to finish for you will be addicted to story. I will start by telling you there was once an extravagant mansion in Connecticut which had no anterooms and in that house lived a husband, a wife, and two children ages two and six months. Now, the mother and father traveled bimonthly for their business required it. They always hired a nanny to look after the children. They hired this one nanny named Melanie. This Melanie was a good person, she was a young twenty-four. So to keep going with the story the family hired her to baby-sit the children for a few weeks. She went to the house and watched the children. There were no problems for a week. The first thing, however, she noticed was this clown in the children's room. This clown always spooked her a little and was eminent in the room. Whenever she had to put the children to bed late at night she used the excuse of being semiconscious. She always hated closing the huge window behind him for she hated even walking a few feet by it and she always got a cold shiver not sure if by the window or the clown. So the week went on for a while and nothing big happened, the baby sometimes would randomly cry in the middle of the night. The two year old would talk about an imaginary friend he had and how they always played games together. The nanny thought of this as nonsense and dismissed it as children's play. The mother usually called everyday. On the advent of flying home she called and the nanny was changing the little baby. The nanny gave a little yell while she was talking to the mother on the phone. The mother said, "what's the matter!?". The nanny answered "ohh nothing, that clown you have seems so real it feels like it is watching me sometimes.", The mother then answered, "what are you talking about….we don't own a clown". Right then and there she looked into the clowns eyes and quickly averted them, and it all clicked with the nanny, she remained calm, however, and told the two year old to come with her and took up the smaller baby and left quickly and quietly. Once outside she picked up both children and started sprinting to the nearest house which was far away. There were no houses adjacent to their mansion for this was the rich lands and hardly any houses were next to each other. Once there she called the police and told them there was a man in the house. The police arrested the man and found out who he was. He was a child molester who just got out of jail after doing twenty-five years before this for molesting his own children. The parents took a flight immediately home and asked the nanny what had happened. She had explained how the mother had said there was no clown in the room, and how the baby would randomly cry, the two year old talked about his "imaginary friend", and the huge window in back of the clown.
    The children were lucky they were not abducted or absconded and did not have one abrasion on them. The ending of this story is that the man is incarcerated for 30 years and he was already in his forties so he was not coming out for a while. (I still do not think this was an adequate amount) The family is safe now, the children are fine and the family knows to check the house and get a security device.

    DH8977 (9:49:44 PM): thnx

    OMG, it was so funny when he first read it in front of the class! Other than the disturbing part, it was such bad writing. Notice the part where it said the children cried at night and said they played games with their imaginary friends? lol. So weird and disturbing. My friend's an idiot.
    Well my teacher laughed so hard at it. He thought of this name for the clown called Mr. Scags. So now just joke about Mr. Scags all the time.
    This is my HONORS english class too.
    The class is so loose.
    And my english teacher is a lazy bum. lol.
    We're spending like 2 weeks just on essay writing cuz he's lazy.
    He says essays are like fine breasts, you need to gently caress them.

    Well, we're going to fail the SATs, but at least it balances out all my other hardass classes.
    http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/6...zysmall4uh.gifhttp://www.swmich.edu/resources/grap...cing/apple.jpghttp://boards.atlanticrecords.com/ev...5102728/avatarhttp://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/G...69123_6418.gif "You know it's funny when it rains it pours. They got money for wars, but can't feed tha poor. Sad there ain't no hope for tha youth and tha truth is there ain't no hope for tha future" - Tupac

  2. #2
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    That story is hella f`d up.

    I think you guys should try electro-shock on your friend though...see if it helps his grammar any

    I remember slack classes like that....it was called geometry....about all I done in that class was air guitar, mosh, and belt out the lyrics to metallica and AC/DC songs. Amusingly enough, that's about all everyone did in there...well except for the trekkies, who were too busy talking in klingon and designing starships to send to the storywriters...freaking nerds...
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  3. #3
    Senior Member va_cyclist's Avatar
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    Is this an English as a second language class?

  4. #4
    JOCP Lives! TheDTrain's Avatar
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    What don't you get about caressing fine breasts?
    http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/6...zysmall4uh.gifhttp://www.swmich.edu/resources/grap...cing/apple.jpghttp://boards.atlanticrecords.com/ev...5102728/avatarhttp://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/G...69123_6418.gif "You know it's funny when it rains it pours. They got money for wars, but can't feed tha poor. Sad there ain't no hope for tha youth and tha truth is there ain't no hope for tha future" - Tupac

  5. #5
    Senior Member va_cyclist's Avatar
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    I liked that part.

  6. #6
    By-Tor...or the Snow Dog? hi565's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDTrain
    What don't you get about caressing fine breasts?
    ok what am I missing???
    ----------------------------------------------------------

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by catatonic
    I remember slack classes like that....it was called geometry....about all I done in that class was air guitar, mosh, and belt out the lyrics to metallica and AC/DC songs. Amusingly enough, that's about all everyone did in there...well except for the trekkies, who were too busy talking in klingon and designing starships to send to the storywriters...freaking nerds...
    Oh man I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I had a Geometry class like that!!!!

  8. #8
    By-Tor...or the Snow Dog? hi565's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hi565
    ok what am I missing???
    ohhhhh

    never mind!

    F****** up story btw..
    ----------------------------------------------------------

  9. #9
    |+|+|+|+|+|+| * jack *'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheDTrain
    • This Melanie was a good person, she was a young twenty-four.

    • Whenever she had to put the children to bed late at night she used the excuse of being semiconscious.
    Those are some of my favorite lines...

    So, it's October, and your class is still on the letter A ?


    Quote Originally Posted by TheDTrain
    • Right then and there she looked into the clowns eyes and quickly averted them

    • There were no houses adjacent to their mansion for this was the rich lands

    • The children were lucky they were not abducted or absconded and did not have one abrasion on them.
    It's not the story that's disturbing...

  10. #10
    My Alphabit's say "Oooo" InfamousG's Avatar
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    Where's the funny part?

  11. #11
    Feral Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InfamousG
    Where's the funny part?
    Agreed. I don't get it.
    Quote Originally Posted by KrisPistofferson View Post
    Did you just say "minarchist?" I'm going to start a 10-page vaginathon because only Libertarians can define Libertarianism. Also, you're mean.

  12. #12
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    Take an english writing class
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

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