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Old 12-11-05, 07:15 PM   #1
slvoid
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There's a thread on ebaumsworld forums where this kid's asking people for advice because he's about to get beat up by a group of like 8-10 other kids in high school... Well.. this is what happens when a 16 year old goes to other 16 year olds online for advice.

I thought the eyeball one was the funniest one.


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You aint Bruce Lee and your life aint no film, you dont beat one while the other waits for director of stunts to yell action. 10 people will beat your ass down. Get yourself a gun.

Ok have something that can defend you, and when they are walkin towards you, run into someplace narrow so that number will get decreased

strap a bomb to your chest, and while holding the trigger in youR hand, start running towards them screaming "I HAVE A BOMB!"

A baton? What are you, some kind of cheerleader?

Bring a grenade.

attack the guy you pointed at and just gnash your teeth and bite, suck out eyeballs

Why don't you just go around, all stealth like, and execute every single one of them before they go to attack you.

Kill one of them before hand, hack his head off, then when the group swarm you, pull out the head and start screaming like crazy. It gets em everytime.

Sit in a chair facing the front door, carry a shotgun. If anyone steps one foot inside, blow.there.face.off.

If they surround you, spin around in circles with your machete so they have to back off.

Don't fight em'
Tell them to meet you at a parking lot at 5:00
Wait in your car out of sight until you see them grouped up.
Run them over.

Put drugs in their lockers.

new idea: Get a bunch of play-doh and stick it to your chest. Put a wire and stuff and claim its C4

Don't shoot till you see the whites of their eyes.

I have a real tip for you. I have done it many times before and it is without fail. Tell them to meet you somewhere to fight, like a park. Get there early and cover yourself in feces. Smear it all over your face, and make sure they can't even see your skin. When they come, Jump from a tree of hiding spot and when they see you naked crap covered body it is over.

I think you should start doing sphincter stretching exercises.
It will help when you thrown in prison for murder or attempted murder.

you know this sounds stupid but go to the police or some crap. try and avoid using weapons at all costs, you will highly regret it im sure. you will either kill someone or be killed with your own weapon, both are not cool things to happen, and seeing how your 15 as well...... just forget weapons.

When they are all standing there, pick one, and bite his ear off before he even has time to think.

u kno your f****d, when your asking advice on the internet...

you can come dressed as Ryu from Street Fighter and I'm sure they'll back down.

Last edited by slvoid; 12-11-05 at 10:06 PM.
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Old 12-11-05, 07:32 PM   #2
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The last quote is classic.

My advice: When I have a problem that seems insurmountable I break it up into lots of smaller more manageable pieces. If that is not possible I would use good judgment and avoid or just run like hell.
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Old 12-11-05, 08:07 PM   #3
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Yikes, did I really think like that? Anyway, gather any witnesses and call the police--unless the kid is involved in something that would bring about such a beating (illegal activity, etc.).
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Old 12-11-05, 09:46 PM   #4
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How recent is the post? Would be interesting to see how it turned out
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Old 12-11-05, 09:58 PM   #5
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I'm curious as well to see how it turned out for the kid.
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Old 12-11-05, 10:02 PM   #6
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Quote:
Get there early and cover yourself in feces. Smear it all over your face, and make sure they can't even see your skin. When they come, Jump from a tree of hiding spot and when they see you naked crap covered body it is over.
lmfao!
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Old 12-11-05, 10:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phantomcow2
How recent is the post? Would be interesting to see how it turned out
http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?t=109102
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Old 12-11-05, 11:01 PM   #8
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Rofl I Just Spit Vodka All Over My Monitor!
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Old 12-11-05, 11:32 PM   #9
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Covering yourself in feces is always good.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebaumsworld thread
There not black\white\ there some other breed so I need some help guys. Thanks
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Originally Posted by Ebaumsworld thread
Other breed? What are they? Woman?
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Old 12-12-05, 12:04 AM   #10
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There some hindu's and some mexicans.
Quote:
Hindus aren't a problem, but Mexicans can fight. Yeah, you need some big friends.
I love it!
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Old 12-12-05, 12:08 AM   #11
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Wow, I really like the one about the feces. It's a little disgusting, but seriously, they wouldn't even touch you if you did that.
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Old 12-12-05, 12:16 AM   #12
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Let's leave the racial stuff like this out of here and keep it on ebaums, where it belongs...
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Old 12-12-05, 12:21 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid
Let's leave the racial stuff like this out of here and keep it on ebaums, where it belongs...
Ya I removed it, I thought of that when I posted it, was also questioning posting it or not.
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Old 12-12-05, 02:50 AM   #14
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Round up some Pokemon man. Mother ****ers can shoot lighting and fire!! They may think you're a nerd but when they're all dead they won't be thinking ****!
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Old 12-12-05, 04:34 PM   #15
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man... people can really be mean... that just makes me sad
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Old 12-12-05, 04:38 PM   #16
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i wonder which one will be our president in 30 years?
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Old 12-12-05, 04:49 PM   #17
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Rofl I Just Spit Vodka All Over My Monitor!
lol, same!
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Old 12-12-05, 06:53 PM   #18
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i wonder which one will be our president in 30 years?
rofl
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Old 12-12-05, 07:55 PM   #19
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Anyone read what happened to him? He got beat up, but not too badly. Guess it's round 2 for him tomorrow.
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Old 12-13-05, 11:00 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BST
Quote:
Originally Posted by craign04
Rofl I Just Spit Vodka All Over My Monitor!
lol, same!
What are the odds of two people both drinking vodka and both spitting on their monitor at the same time?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Trekke
My advice: When I have a problem that seems insurmountable I break it up into lots of smaller more manageable pieces. If that is not possible I would use good judgment and avoid or just run like hell.
So you're saying he should break the other kids into smaller, more manageable pieces?
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Old 12-14-05, 12:09 AM   #21
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Without the internet this wouldn't be possible.
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Old 12-14-05, 03:21 PM   #22
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Somehow I don't think D.A.R.P.A. (or Al Gore) envisioned this exchange when they invented the internet.

As an aside: When faced with 10 folks in a standard @$$ whoopin', I'll select the leader/tough guy designate and go full throttle at him. You may still get torn apart, but at least this pushes the odds a bit to your side.
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Old 12-14-05, 03:27 PM   #23
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i'm glad those years of bullies are over, although nowadays you can ask for advice from your peers on the internet. albiet bad advice.

wait. i still get bullied. wtf?!
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Old 12-14-05, 06:22 PM   #24
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Sadly enough, there are kids that get killed over sh*t like this...
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Old 12-14-05, 06:46 PM   #25
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yeah. the school systems need to take a stand against bullying/fighting... there is a word that they need to know: "suicide"
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