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Old 12-30-05, 02:30 PM   #1
jeff williams
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Sobriety during new years celebrations.

I started drinking over the holidays, did last year as well.
I'm aware of my problem and will NOT be drinking newyears but will be around the sauce.
I'll be employed in a nightclub\music industry party, 11 hrs of watching people getting wasted.
I would be allowed, incouraged to drink, friends will want to buy me drinks and do toasts.

Free booze if I wanted it, and I do not.
I also feel hypocritical as I will making money from the sales of alcohol -well, maybe not -we're entertainment.
But the same, a nightclub is a not a good place to be if you are trying to be sober.

I thought of buying non-alcoholic beer and keeping it behind the bar, it would work as I could say 'I've got something already' and still toast.
But it seems too close to what i'm trying NOT to do. I might decide I want a beer with alcohol.

I made a pact with myself to not drink, smoke or do any form of drug after age 40, I'd like to have a nice time in my later years and not be wrecked from abuse.
Cyclings a big part of that, getting into sports and having a healthy lifestyle is paramount to me.

Working in the music industry\nightcubs may have beed my downfall as to drinking, but it is directly tied to my employment so I have to be around alcohol. I'm booked for the event and must go.
I drank last Newyears, I'm not waking up in 2006 hungover.

-any ideas?
I dislike soda, don't want to drink non-alcoholic beer.
I'm going to have to turn down drinks all night and still celibrate with my friends.
Even aversion therapies.
Water, water, water.......a pinch -'No thanks' ....water, water, water...

Work will keep me busy, but need a few stratigies to keep onboard with this sobriety thing.
I like it, I prefer it, I'm also falible and an alcoholic.

11 hours of temtation. Wish I could stay home, no booze.
I guess maybe it's better to confront and realize it'll always be there
and I'll be saying no-thanks for the duration of my natural (heathier) life.

Have a great Newyears.
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Old 12-30-05, 02:35 PM   #2
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you may need to think about a different occupation, seriously. even if you're not drinking, you're still seeing the effects in everyone around you. that may get annoying for you real quick.

drinking soda works for me if i don't feel like a beer or mixed drink.

edit: just re-read and saw you don't like soda. how about seltzer or ginger ale?
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Old 12-30-05, 02:37 PM   #3
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Just try to keep the image of the worst hangover you ever had in your mind. It worked for me. I have not drank more than a sixpack in the last 12 years. Of course the previous 30 I drank 2 lifetime's worth.
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Old 12-30-05, 03:22 PM   #4
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Tell your buddies that you are on some medicine (doesn't matter what) and that you can't drink tonight. Sure, as the night goes they'll get wasted and want to buy you drinks anyway, but if you keep reminding them that your on some kind of medication, then they'll stop pestering you.

Even though it'll be a lie, it still will make them feel like offering you a drink could hurt you... which it could (since you don't really want it).
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Old 12-30-05, 03:25 PM   #5
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Just say no. It works every time. If they are truly friends or at the least considerate strangers, they will not press the issue.
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Old 12-30-05, 03:35 PM   #6
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While opinions vary on the morality and impact on society as well as on the health of individuals engaged in drinking, it is still a legal activity. Your employment is also legitimate. I don't see those with difficulty handling alcohol as much different from others with different allergies or conditions. In other words, be ashamed if you secumb to the behavior which causes your symptoms. Don't be ashamed of the illness itself.

If you do need an artificial motivational aid, I recommend you make a substantial bet with someone that you will not drink that night. Tell your sharing friends and customers that you have a bet that you can get through to the 2nd of January without drinking. They'll enjoy trying to help you lose the bet. You'll enjoy collecting.
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Old 12-30-05, 03:40 PM   #7
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If you're serious, call in sick (because you are and you need to take care of yourself), and go to a meeting. There are Alcathons everywhere on NYE. Just call the local AA number.

On New Years Eve you are going to be surrounded by other alcoholics. The question is whether those alcoholics are active in their disease or active in their sobriety.
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Old 12-30-05, 03:42 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InfamousG
Tell your buddies that you are on some medicine (doesn't matter what) and that you can't drink tonight. Sure, as the night goes they'll get wasted and want to buy you drinks anyway, but if you keep reminding them that your on some kind of medication, then they'll stop pestering you.

Even though it'll be a lie, it still will make them feel like offering you a drink could hurt you... which it could (since you don't really want it).
I thought about that, but the thing with alcoholism is I have had to not lie to myself.
I can't make excuses, what about next time I see friends and they want to drink.

I don't want to make excuses for not drinking. I want to be alcohol free as a way to have a healthier, longer life.

Maybe is asked I'll just say 'I've had enough', If pressured say 'for the rest of my life, you have mine -cheers.'
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Old 12-30-05, 03:51 PM   #9
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Get yourself some Ginger Beer. There is Fentimans and Dr. Brown's extra dry that I know of. I'm sure there others. They come in a six pack, and in brown bottles. This way your friends will think you are drinking. They are NA. Perfect prank too, my brother fell for it the other weekend. He drank three before he realized there was no alcohol.
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Old 12-30-05, 04:12 PM   #10
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There is nothing wrong with saying no. Simply, no thanks. Nein. Nyet.

It's a personal choice not to drink; just say no and stick to it. Those around you may be more understanding than you think.



All of my friends drink; sometimes in excess sometimes not. Whenever I hang out with my pals I know there is to be drinking of alcoholic beverages. If I am offered one I simply and politely say no. At first people would ask why and I would reply that I have decided to change my ways. Or that I enjoy the pleasure of everyone's company and would like to remember all events come the morning.

I used to be called the wild man. Also named animal. I was also in a fraternity where my drinking habits were legendary.

I still say no. No matter how many people want to see me grapple with some other drunken idiot, I still say no.

Tempting? Yeah. I love beer; that's an understatement. I have had beers from all over the world; I've also drank beer in places around the world. My friends will intentionally stock my favorite beers just to get me to drink. I always go home sober.

"Let's go and do some shots, animal!"

-No thanks. My girlfriend is expecting me home early tonight.

"Come on, dude, I don't want to drink alone."

-I'm engaging you in conversation so you are not really by yourself.

"You used to drink me under the table, man. What happened?"

-I grew up.


In short, jeff williams, nut up and take charge of your life. The choice is yours. You are an adult (I reckon) so why not act like one? No one is going to make you do anything you do not want to do.
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Old 12-30-05, 04:24 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MERTON
yeah, dumbass, that thing where i think you act too drunk.. yeah, that should be a wake up call... similar to a sledge hammer in the face but with life still existing afterward.


don't be a drunkard and go get paid.
I'm a functional alchoholic, I've only been fall down drunk maybe once.
I have people aroung who care, but they don't see the problem.
I didn't get nasty or have mood swings, it was hidden well.

I did post on BF several times sauced, sorry to you personally Merton if you were offended.
Not my intention.
I'm probably not as funny as I like to believe.
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Old 12-30-05, 04:31 PM   #12
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Sounds like we have similar backgrounds. I drank several lifetimes worth, in my first 30 some years. Then i sort of just got fed up with it. Tired of buying beer, getting drunk and repeating every day. So i basically quit a little over a year ago.

I didn't do AA or anything like that, not that there is anything wrong with it. I just seriously got sick of the whole drill. Plus my kids are getting old enough that they are watching what i do, so I want to set a better example.

In the last year I have drank rarely. If someone offers me a beer, i just take it and drink it. It doesn't send me off into orbit or anything. Sometimes i have a couple. On christmas eve, i had 3. (most i had at once all year)

Years ago, i got a DUI and had to take one of those stupid classes. I learned that alcoholics come from two different types of families: 1. Drunks and 2. Tea Totalers . The moderate, occasional drinker rarely begets drunken offspring.

I come from the latter. Alcohol was so forbidden in my family growing up that it became the ultimate forbidden fruit. I want to be able to show my kids that it is OK to have a drink now and then but never to drink to the point of being drunk.

Some people can handle alcohol better than others. I am somewhat suprised that i basically quit drinking over a year ago and really didn't even notice. I also know that my days of having a drink every day are over. Can't do that anymore.
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Old 12-30-05, 04:56 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timmhaan
you may need to think about a different occupation, seriously. even if you're not drinking, you're still seeing the effects in everyone around you. that may get annoying for you real quick.
Yes.
It has. I don't like loud and crowds really. I probably drink during live performances to relax and not get too overwhelmed.
Desensitization.

I think 11 hours in a bar watching people get wasted and not having my senses clouded will be a real eye opener.
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Old 12-30-05, 05:24 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Ranger
I learned that alcoholics come from two different types of families: 1. Drunks and 2. Tea Totalers . The moderate, occasional drinker rarely begets drunken offspring.

I come from the latter. Alcohol was so forbidden in my family growing up that it became the ultimate forbidden fruit. I want to be able to show my kids that it is OK to have a drink now and then but never to drink to the point of being drunk.

Some people can handle alcohol better than others. I am somewhat suprised that i basically quit drinking over a year ago and really didn't even notice. I also know that my days of having a drink every day are over. Can't do that anymore.
Ya...no drinking in my family, and I agree that children learn from observing correct behavior.
If I had observed say drunken family violence, I might have been a violent drunk.
My stepfather was abusive (thank god he didn't drink!) so I've always thought alcohol was an excuse for a illness.
If you are violent when you drink, you probably are suffering from problem and drinking aggrivates it.
It can't be used as an excuse 'Sorry I was mean lastnight, I was drunk' doesn't fly.
You're violent and drinking makes it a reality. I'm very fortunate that I am emotionally stable, I've not harmed anyone except myself, and no DUI.
If I'd seen the illness in my family, perhaps I'd have not ever had a drink.

But 15 yrs is enough. At 40, my body won't be repairing the damage well.
Cirrhosis of the liver sounds pretty bad.
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Old 12-30-05, 05:24 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeff williams
I thought about that, but the thing with alcoholism is I have had to not lie to myself.
I can't make excuses, what about next time I see friends and they want to drink.
Tell your friends the truth: "I'm an alcoholic and have decided not to drink anymore. I need your help to keep me honest and reduce the temptations. Please don't offer to buy me anything stronger than a fruit juice and if you see someone trying to pressure me into taking a drink, come over and help me decline. You guys are my friends and I'm asking for your help."

That'd work for me.
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Old 12-30-05, 05:42 PM   #16
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Hate to be cliche', but if you have to think this hard about drinking, you
have a real problem. Dont drink anything !!! NOTHING. Dont go around
the people, places or things that you know are going to bring temptation
onto you. After all the stuff that serious addicts go through, ie: jail,
waking up in bad places, losing stuff, rehabs etc I succumbed
to alcohol poisoning twice in '96. The last time I was literally dead until
they got the librium flowing. Ive been sober 9 years Christmas day and my
life has been blessed since. It is there for you too....
Ok, OK Ive preached and run on too long....If you need to talk to someone
or need words of encouragement PM me, please.
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Old 12-30-05, 05:42 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skiahh
Tell your friends the truth: "I'm an alcoholic and have decided not to drink anymore. I need your help to keep me honest and reduce the temptations. Please don't offer to buy me anything stronger than a fruit juice and if you see someone trying to pressure me into taking a drink, come over and help me decline. You guys are my friends and I'm asking for your help."

That'd work for me.
Ya. I just may.
It's harder for me to say that to my friends than admitting to myself.
I guess it's the shame over having a weakness\illness.
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Old 12-30-05, 05:47 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeff williams
Ya. I just may.
It's harder for me to say that to my friends than admitting to myself.
I guess it's the shame over having a weakness\illness.
ITS NOT A WEAKNESS !!!
IT IS A DISEASE........
Is diabetes a weakness ?? High blood pressure ??? Of course not.
I used to be ashamed too but I freely admit it now 'cuz its part of who
I am. Getting sober is the hardest job ANYONE could ever have.
Once you do it you have a strength few other people can even
begin to imagine. Something you were ashamed of will become a very
positive force in your being.
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Old 12-30-05, 05:52 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by -=Łem in Pa=-
ITS NOT A WEAKNESS !!!
IT IS A DISEASE........
Is diabetes a weakness ?? High blood pressure ??? Of course not.
I used to be ashamed too but I freely admit it now 'cuz its part of who
I am. Getting sober is the hardest job ANYONE could ever have.
Once you do it you have a strength few other people can even
begin to imagine. Something you were ashamed of will become a very
positive force in your being.
I don't agree that getting sober is the hardest job. Have you ever tried quitting smoking?
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Old 12-30-05, 06:01 PM   #20
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I thought a functional alcoholic was someone whose spouse worked.
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Old 12-30-05, 06:05 PM   #21
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I guess there is a reason why a lot of the rooms I frequented
were filled with smoke
Cigs were the only habit I never picked up !!
But for me...the urge to drink and alcohol withdrawl had me doubled
over in pain for a long time. It felt like a big cat kneading and scratching
at my stomach from inside. Very painful
Every person has thier own personal demon so whatever your demon might
be you will be a much stronger person when you beat it !
Every morning Ive waken up in the past 9 years Ive been thankful I
never have to feel the way I did before.....Im boorishly bogarting this thread
so Im going to pipe down now !!!
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Old 12-30-05, 06:13 PM   #22
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Have you ever tried quitting smoking?
I'll second this. Best not to get started in the first place.
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Old 12-30-05, 06:28 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -=Łem in Pa=-
.....Im boorishly bogarting this thread
so Im going to pipe down now !!!
Pipe on, I posted to talk to folks who have had to become non-drinkers.
I wish I could be a social drinker, glass of wine once in a while.

Doesn't seem the case, or more that it'll be a few cases a week.
De nile ain't just a river in Eqypt.
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Old 12-30-05, 06:46 PM   #24
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Ok, one more.......
I was an artist / musician too and was surrounded by all the bad
influences I eventually picked up. I used to wish I could be a
social drinker and tried to be by foolishly thinking I could limit my
intake but it never worked. After I left my rehab I gave up playing
guitar for about two years because the association to the undesirable
liquids and other chemicals was painful and a possible relapse risk.
It hurt cuz I love guitar but I couldnt risk going back to what I left. Now
I play better than before and enjoy it more. Eventually, everything is a
bad job when you try to do it loaded. After a while, maintaining your
liquid state of affairs becomes a bad, bad full time job. When you
leave it behind, it is truly freeing and liberating
Cliches are good.....just try to get through that one day !
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Old 12-30-05, 07:25 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caloso
If you're serious, call in sick (because you are and you need to take care of yourself), and go to a meeting. There are Alcathons everywhere on NYE. Just call the local AA number.

On New Years Eve you are going to be surrounded by other alcoholics. The question is whether those alcoholics are active in their disease or active in their sobriety.
Not an option, I'm relied on in a singular capacity. As much as I might think not working that night, I want to be social with my friends. They still will be my friends after I get this licked.

The head bartender has not drank alcohol for over a year, so I have someone who will watch me and I can chat with if it gets bad.
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