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Old 01-02-06, 12:46 PM   #1
hairyleg
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how to make a "succesful" thread: my observations.

If you want a thread with countless replies, I know how to make one. All you have to do is think up some totally useless subject, ie "I hate Lance", "carbon stinks"..... and make the most obnoxiously worded message you can think up. Make sure to belittle as many people as possible, be very arrogant, and don't spell correctly. Do that and within minutes, a good many people will have replied with replies equally useless to the original post. Whatever you do, don't ask a decent question or try and get some real help. That's boring.

Anyone else noticing a disturbing trend in this direction?
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Old 01-02-06, 12:50 PM   #2
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I HATE your idea! Actually you are probably right.
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Old 01-02-06, 12:52 PM   #3
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It's not a trend, it's the reality of a forum. The sheer amount of threads such as you describe is probably very near to what it was a year ago, 2 years ago etc. It doesn't change - it just become part of being normal.

Good thing we as participants have the power to ignore. Or not.

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Old 01-02-06, 12:57 PM   #4
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I don't visit many other web forums but I see these flame throwers in other blogs and forums. I think it's the political junkies getting tired of arguing about Bush, oil and Iraq and they jump on to forums like ours just to throw a little gas on a fire.

Last edited by jimbud; 01-02-06 at 01:20 PM.
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Old 01-02-06, 01:13 PM   #5
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It's called a troll.
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Old 01-02-06, 01:15 PM   #6
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I think this thread is going places!
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Old 01-02-06, 01:22 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hairyleg
If you want a thread with countless replies ... don't spell correctly. Do that and within minutes, a good many people will have replied with replies equally useless to the original post....
is the spelling error in your thread title intentional?
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Old 01-02-06, 01:30 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hairyleg
If you want a thread with countless replies, I know how to make one. All you have to do is think up some totally useless subject, ie "I hate Lance", "carbon stinks"..... and make the most obnoxiously worded message you can think up. Make sure to belittle as many people as possible, be very arrogant, and don't spell correctly. Do that and within minutes, a good many people will have replied with replies equally useless to the original post. Whatever you do, don't ask a decent question or try and get some real help. That's boring.

Anyone else noticing a disturbing trend in this direction?

This thread should be deleted. We all know its happening, but cluttering the board with blatantly off-topic bull like this isn't helping at all. If you must make this statement, which I agree with - make it in Foo or make it in one of the threads you describe. At least then it isn't off-topic.
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Old 01-02-06, 01:33 PM   #9
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Moved to foo-

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Old 01-02-06, 01:45 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hairyleg
Make sure to belittle as many people as possible, be very arrogant, and don't........

I know !! Isnt it GREAT !!

I can purge myself of all of my anger, pent-up hostilities and other psychological
shortcomings all in complete anonimity and in the comfort of my own home.
Its as fun as throwing a can at a Carbon Fiber roadie out of the window of your car !!

This interweb Tv is GREAT
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Old 01-02-06, 03:16 PM   #11
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I was wondering how many annoyed replies I would get.
Spelling error? Where? If I did--oops.
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Old 01-02-06, 05:33 PM   #12
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We should turn this thread into the next sig test. Maybe this time we can crank out 18,000 replies before it gets cut down like the Berlin wall.
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Old 01-02-06, 05:46 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 55/Rad
It's not a trend, it's the reality of a forum. The sheer amount of threads such as you describe is probably very near to what it was a year ago, 2 years ago etc. It doesn't change - it just become part of being normal.

Good thing we as participants have the power to ignore. Or not.

55/Rad
Ignore? Whats that?
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Old 01-02-06, 05:56 PM   #14
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Make it appealing also.
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Old 01-02-06, 06:18 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Michigander
We should turn this thread into the next sig test. Maybe this time we can crank out 18,000 replies before it gets cut down like the Berlin wall.
Don't say things like that do you know how much time I wasted reading that thread? Well neither do I, but it was a lot. BTW what's a "pulte home"?
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Old 01-02-06, 07:20 PM   #16
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Here's how to really make a successful thread:

Word Association Thread

...
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Old 01-02-06, 07:48 PM   #17
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Nah... being obnoxious makes a thread grow quickly, but it doesn't make it highly successful.

Let's look at the two biggest threads, the sig test thread (deleted) and the commuting thread. The first was a random pointless thread that grew in a cancerous fashion. That's one way to go at it. Great fun, but not too relevant to anything. Loosely related in this regard would be things like the word association thread and the this or that thread.

The second is the ongoing commute thread. It solicits regular responses from the participants by asking how your commute went today. Things like the show us your road bike thread grow the same way... it asks a simple question that never goes out of fashion.
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Old 01-02-06, 09:37 PM   #18
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As long as I'm in it and there are the words, "snatch" "bomb" "acid" "lead pipe" and "tail" in it...
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Old 01-02-06, 09:51 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid
As long as I'm in it and there are the words, "snatch" "bomb" "acid" "lead pipe" and "tail" in it...
OOohh... I can make some very interesting stuff outta those words... will probably get this thread canned and it won't be very "successful"...
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Old 01-02-06, 09:53 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hairyleg
If you want a thread with countless replies, I know how to make one. All you have to do is think up some totally useless subject, ie "I hate Lance", "carbon stinks"..... and make the most obnoxiously worded message you can think up. Make sure to belittle as many people as possible, be very arrogant, and don't spell correctly. Do that and within minutes, a good many people will have replied with replies equally useless to the original post. Whatever you do, don't ask a decent question or try and get some real help. That's boring.

Anyone else noticing a disturbing trend in this direction?
OK, Hairyleg, You're right, but what can be done about it? I recently saw a really disturbing thread about Lance, but nothing was done to control/stop it. And although almost every reply to the original post was a slash at the original writer (fabio something or other), with each comment it just extended the thread. If you looked at the thread from 'View New Posts' it looks like a large number of forum members agreed with the original post. You had to open it and read the replies to determine they did not agree. I was so frustrated, I got sucked in and replied to it too............

Just like I'm doing here.
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Old 01-02-06, 09:57 PM   #21
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Some lessons can be learned from the ancient but still poignant USENET Guide to Power Posting.

Quote:
The USENET Guide to Power Posting

1. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason
can't *possibly* be that you're a ****head. There's obviously
a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire
net a favor by exposing it. Be sure to mention the CIA, FBI
Oliver North and the Army as co-conspiritors.

2. Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #1. Threatening a
lawsuit is always considered to be in good form. "By saying that
I've posted to the wrong group, Charlie has libeled me, slandered
me, and sodomized me. See you in court, Charlie."

3. Force them to document their claims: Even if Jane Jones
states outright that she has menstrual cramps, you should demand
documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Jane's
cramps, then Jane's obviously lying.

4. Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca
of USENET. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three
times per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseam",
"vini, vidi, vici", "E Pluribus Unum" and "fetuccini alfredo".

5. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to
convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them?
State that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America.
Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school.
"I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell
the word 'premeiotic' ".

6. Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of
Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're
qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Polly Purebread, by
using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case
of penis envy."

7. Accuse your opponent of censorship. It is your right as an American
citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed
by the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your
cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a Communist, a
fascist, or both.

8. Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent,
have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should
have seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST!
Call'em an AI project, to really piss them off.

9. Laugh at whatever they write. A good "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
should intimidate just about anyone.

10. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other rules, remember
this one. At some point during your wonderful career on USENET
you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is
better than you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your
arguments, make you look generally like a bozo. At this point,
there's only one thing to do: insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah?
Well, you do strange things with vegetables."

11. And, if all else fails, remember that you can always fall back on the
favorite defense of Soc.women: "Who cares what YOU think -- this
is Soc.WOMEN!". Add "DAMMIT!" for effect.

12. Be sure to have a cute signature that proclaims that you are a man
basher. No one will respect you unless it's clear that you hate
men.

13. Call'em a "Pman" if you can't think of anything. Tell the
linguists to stuff it -- YOU know a diminutive when you see it.

14. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies
sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly."
"Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."

15. Cross-post your article: Everyone on the net is just waiting for
the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal. From
rec.arts.wobegon to alt.gourmand, they're all holding their breaths
until your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.

16. Use the smiley to your advantage. You can call anyone just about
anything as long as you include the smiley. On really nasty attacks
add "No flames, please". When they *****, call them an ass for not
being able to recognize sarcasm when they see it.

17. Threaten to destroy Soc.men if your opponent refuses to give up.
This at least gives you an appearance of power, even if nobody on
the net gives a damn about what goes on in soc.men.

18. Should you post something exceedingly stupid and later regret it, don't
worry. You needn't cancel the article. That only shows what a wimp
you really are. Deny that you ever sent it. "It must be a
forgery!" (Yea, that's the ticket, it's a forgery!) "Someone broke
into my account and sent it!" "It's that damn backbone cabal out to
get me!" Take your pick, they've all been used before.

19. A really cheap shot is to call you opponent a "facist". By itself, it
really does nothing. But, when used often, and in enough articles,
it can make you a net-legend.

20. And finally, never edit your newsgroup line when following up (unless
you're expanding it). This drives 'em wild. Be sure to follow up as
many articles as possible, even if you have nothing to say. The
important thing is to get "exposure" so that you can be called a
"regular" in your pet newsgroup. Never change the ">" symbol when
following up; that's for wimps. Dump a hundred lines of "INEWS FODDER"
in every article.

Now that you know the ways to properly post on USENET, let's try
an example:

In article <1452@sab.ck>, Bill Netter writes:
> Dear Sally,

I object to your use of the word "dear". It shows you are a
condescending, sexist Pman. Also, the submissive tone you use shows
that you like to be tied down and flagellated with licorice whips.

> While I found your article "The Effect of Lint on Western Thought"
> to be extremely thought-provoking,

"Thought-provoking"? I had no idea you could think, you rotting piece
of swamp slime. :-) (No flames, please)

> it really shouldn't have been
> posted in Soc.women.

What? Are you questioning my judgment? I'll have you know that I'm
a member of the super-high-IQ society Menstruate. I got an 800 on my
PMS exam. Besides, what does a Pman like yourself know of such things.
This is Soc.WOMEN, DAMMIT!

Your attempts constitute nothing less than censorship. There is a
conspiracy against me. You, Colin, Charlie and the backbone cabal have been
constantly harassing me by email. This was an ad hominem attack! If this
doesn't stop at once, I'll crosspost a thousand articles to soc.men.

> Perhaps you should have posted it in misc.misc.

It is my right, as granted in the Bill of Rights, the Magna Carta, the
Bible and the Quran, to post where ever I want to. Or don't you
believe in those documents, you damn fascist? Perhaps if you didn't
spend so much time sacrificing virgins and infants to Satan, you would
have realized this.

> Your article would
> be much more appropriate there.

Can you document this? I will only accept documents notarized by my
attorney, and signed by you in your blood. Besides, you don't really exist
anyway, you Pseudo, you.

> If I can be of any help in the future, just drop me a line.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

> Bill.

Sally Sourpuss

"If we can send one man to the moon, why can't we send them all?"

Soc.women Women WOMEN, DAMMIT!
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Old 01-02-06, 09:59 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DannoXYZ
OOohh... I can make some very interesting stuff outta those words... will probably get this thread canned and it won't be very "successful"...
Let's see y'all try!!
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Old 01-02-06, 09:59 PM   #23
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Easy...

Title: just a sig test !DO NOT REPLY!

Text: test

Guaranteed to exceed 15,000 posts in 60 days and then get deleted!

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Old 01-02-06, 11:49 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chipcom
It's called a troll.
And you should know.
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Old 01-03-06, 01:12 AM   #25
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beeTL your back welcome back
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