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Old 02-02-06, 08:26 PM   #1
BeeTL
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I'm bored...entertain me!

A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants...

Whatever...be creative.

Did I mention, I'm bored?
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Old 02-02-06, 08:47 PM   #2
hi565
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ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


baddddd mmoooovvveeee...

Check this moview, fricken hilarious!!!http://www.stanford.edu/~cjobst/Cond...ommercial.mpeg
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Old 02-02-06, 08:51 PM   #3
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*crickets* for hi
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Old 02-02-06, 09:02 PM   #4
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Try some games.
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Old 02-02-06, 09:09 PM   #5
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Go listen to Let Me Entertain You by Queen
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Old 02-02-06, 09:22 PM   #6
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Join me, masturbate to fixed geared bicycles:

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/
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Old 02-02-06, 10:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 531phile
Join me, masturbate to fixed geared bicycles:

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/
OK, some things are best enjoyed alone. As such, I feel compelled to suggest alternate versions of your original post:
v
Quote:
Originally Posted by 531phile
Masturbate to fixed geared bicycles:

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/
...or:
v
Quote:
Originally Posted by 531phile
Join me in enjoying the splendor of fixed geared bicycles:

http://www.fixedgeargallery.com/
By the way, thanks for the link.

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Old 02-02-06, 10:37 PM   #8
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Here's a little song you can all join in with:
It's very simple and I hope it's new.
Make your own words up if you want to:
Any old words that you think will do.

Yellow, blue, what'll I do?
Maybe I'll just sit here thinking.
Black, white, stop the fight.
Does one of these colours ever bother you?

Here's a little dance you can all join in with:
It's very simple and I hope it's new.
Make your own steps up if you want to:
Any old steps that you think will do.

Left, right, don't get uptight.
Keep in line and you'll be alright.
Clap hands, move around.
Make sure no one puts you down.

Here's a little world you can all join in with:
It's very simple and I hope it's new.
Make your own life up if you want to:
Any old life that you think will do.

Love you, it's nothing new.
There's someone much worse off than you are.
Help me set them free.
Just be what you want to be.
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Old 02-03-06, 01:07 AM   #9
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Now your house is board too.
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Old 02-03-06, 01:14 AM   #10
Siu Blue Wind
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Nice song, Stacey. Got my name in the second verse. Cool!
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 02-03-06, 01:19 AM   #11
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Traffic, 2nd album, circa ~1970. Possibly a top 10 desert island album. I've still got an original vinyl copy.
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Old 02-03-06, 06:29 AM   #12
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I just flew in from Jersey......and boy are my arms tired!!!
ba-dum-*ching*

A lot of crazy people in the world. Take my wife...........PLEASE!!
ba-dum-*ching*

tap-tap Is this thing on?
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Old 02-03-06, 08:13 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite
I just flew in from Jersey......and boy are my arms tired!!!
ba-dum-*ching*

A lot of crazy people in the world. Take my wife...........PLEASE!!
ba-dum-*ching*

tap-tap Is this thing on?
Ah yes, Henny Youngman. How kind of you to dust those off!

Doctor Jokes

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"

The Doctor says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

A doctor says to a man "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

The patient says "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"

The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the patient. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!"

Doctor says to a man "You're pregnant!" The man says "How does a man get pregnant?" The doctor says "The usual way, a little wine, a little dinner...."

A man goes to a psychiatrist "Nobody listen to me!" The doctor says "Next!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says "You're crazy" The man says "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

I know a guy who had his doctor say "take some weight off, go to a health club." This man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

More here:

http://funny2.com/henny.htm

Last edited by BeeTL; 02-03-06 at 08:21 AM.
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Old 02-03-06, 10:47 AM   #14
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Heres another doctor joke. So these two doctors are walking aroun on their lunch break. They spot this limping hobo. They begin debating each other about why he is limping. One thinks he has a broken leg that healed improperly, and the other thinks he has cancer. Eventualy, they decide to go up and ask him. The one doctor explains "I really think you have cancer, and my friend here really thinks you have a broken leg that never healed right, so tell us please, why are you limping?

To this the hobo responds "Well, I really thought I had to fart, and I s*** my pants.
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Old 02-03-06, 10:58 AM   #15
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He sharted!
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Old 02-03-06, 11:18 AM   #16
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*gasp* This can't be a true entertain BeeTL thread with something from me......Hmmmmmmm....you don't look bored BeeTL.

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Old 02-03-06, 11:27 AM   #17
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Twiddle 1, 2 ,3
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Old 02-03-06, 11:43 AM   #18
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riding once again
 
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Real sequence of events that happens a bit too frequently:

Announcement: This is flight #xx, to Ontario, California.
Passenger: Flight attendant, this plane is going to the wrong place. I'm flying to Ontario, Canada.
Flight attendant: I'm sorry, but JetBlue doesn't fly to Canada. "Ontario, CA" is a city in southern California.
Passenger: But I bought a ticket to Canada. *pointing at the "CA" after Ontario*

So if anyone is flying out to visit Lex, be careful that you aren't flying to "Ontario, CA". You'd be visiting me, instead.
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Old 02-03-06, 11:45 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jschen
Real sequence of events that happens a bit too frequently:

Announcement: This is flight #xx, to Ontario, California.
Passenger: Flight attendant, this plane is going to the wrong place. I'm flying to Ontario, Canada.
Flight attendant: I'm sorry, but JetBlue doesn't fly to Canada. "Ontario, CA" is a city in southern California.
Passenger: But I bought a ticket to Canada. *pointing at the "CA" after Ontario*

So if anyone is flying out to visit Lex, be careful that you aren't flying to "Ontario, CA". You'd be visiting me, instead.
Which would be a nice surprise for you....and you'd be so easily recognizable as you have a picture of yourself as an avatar.

Always reminds me of the Kids in the Hall character with the cabbage for a head.
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Old 02-03-06, 11:48 AM   #20
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riding once again
 
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^^^Yup, just look for the Napa walking about. I'm thinking of changing the avatar, though... I hope peregrine doesn't accuse me of anti-vegetable behavior.
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Old 02-03-06, 11:50 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeeTL
A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants...

Whatever...be creative.

Did I mention, I'm bored?
FART

musical fruit the more you eat the more you toot. the more you toot the better you feel, lets eat beans at every meal.
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Old 02-03-06, 11:51 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jschen
^^^Yup, just look for the Napa walking about. I'm thinking of changing the avatar, though... I hope peregrine doesn't accuse me of anti-vegetable behavior.

That would be a betrayal of the veggie world but you must selfishly do what you feel is best. Go on....change your avatar. Do what you must to break Peregrine's heart.

I'm practicing for when the 4 year old is a teenager....how was that?
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Old 02-03-06, 11:56 AM   #23
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^^^Very wise as always.

Unfortunately, my next planned avatar requires me to have a camera, take a picture at a particular spot on my favorite ride (which I don't ride often since it's at my parents' place), and then edit it down to size. Nothing I'm incapable of doing, but I don't know when I might get around to it. The Napa stays for now.
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Old 02-03-06, 11:57 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jschen
^^^Very wise as always.

Unfortunately, my next planned avatar requires me to have a camera, take a picture at a particular spot on my favorite ride (which I don't ride often since it's at my parents' place), and then edit it down to size. Nothing I'm incapable of doing, but I don't know when I might get around to it. The Napa stays for now.
That does sound too much like work.....which is why my avatar will probably never change. Too much of that thinking stuff.
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Old 02-03-06, 12:13 PM   #25
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Have a tar
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