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Old 03-20-06, 03:00 AM   #1
KrisPistofferson
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Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

Contributing: Annie Sweeney

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html
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Old 03-20-06, 03:09 AM   #2
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Saw this on another board I frequent.

Talk aboot a cock fight.
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Old 03-20-06, 03:14 AM   #3
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Maybe he wanted to be a girl...

---- Speaking from experience ----

Although when I do it I want to retain full orgasmic potential

Mandy
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Old 03-20-06, 06:24 AM   #4
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It happens when you're on meth or some other drug.
You don't even feel it. There's a pic floating around on the net of a guy who was slicing off pieces of his face and feeding it to his dogs.
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Old 03-20-06, 06:24 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by my58vw
Maybe he wanted to be a girl...

---- Speaking from experience ----

Although when I do it I want to retain full orgasmic potential

Mandy
I know I do.

Man, that dude is pretty hardcore, he should be in the BeeTL, jonsam, and me three-some.
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Old 03-20-06, 06:36 AM   #6
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Yeah, that happened to me once. Trouble was, I couldn't throw it, too heavy.
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Old 03-20-06, 08:08 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ranger
Yeah, that happened to me once. Trouble was, I couldn't throw it, too heavy.
Spoken like a guy... in my case, depth is everything!

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Old 03-20-06, 08:21 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krispistoferson
Man severs own penis, throws it at officers


"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.
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Old 03-20-06, 08:23 AM   #9
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LOL@ op sig.... 'some days you just can't get rid of a bomb'
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Old 03-20-06, 08:24 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ranger
Yeah, that happened to me once. Trouble was, I couldn't throw it, too heavy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by krispistoferson
"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.
Ranger still has a way to go yet.
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Old 03-20-06, 09:11 AM   #11
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heh, a variation of suck my d**k .AT&T style.
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Old 03-20-06, 09:46 AM   #12
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Thats one for Jay Leno's stupid criminal headlines.
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Old 03-20-06, 10:08 AM   #13
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The police said he was just nuts. (ok, it was from Leno)
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Old 03-20-06, 11:13 AM   #14
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I wonder if Larry Wachowski is envious.
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Old 03-20-06, 11:46 AM   #15
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If they hadn't tazered me, I had plans of lopping off some other stuff, too.

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Old 03-20-06, 12:33 PM   #16
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Man severs own penis, bludgeons officers with it.

Man severs own penis, pole vaults out of custody.

Man severs own penis, in attempt to stop world hunger.

Man severs own penis, repairs levy and averts Katrina damage.
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Old 03-20-06, 01:08 PM   #17
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



That was wrong, yet hilarious.
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Old 03-20-06, 01:17 PM   #18
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He was just whacking off.
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Old 03-20-06, 01:25 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by my58vw
Maybe he wanted to be a girl...

---- Speaking from experience ----

Although when I do it I want to retain full orgasmic potential

Mandy
Oh stop thinking about sex.

BRIAN
I wasn't!

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You're always on about it. Morning, noon, and night. Will the girls like
this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?
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Old 03-20-06, 01:54 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caloso
He was just whacking off.
DA DA Ching!
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Old 03-20-06, 06:31 PM   #21
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I wouldn't really be able to throw mine.





Four inches!


Yeah!














But some women don't like it that wide.










(LOL! Heard that from a comedian somewhere, hilarious!)
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Old 03-20-06, 06:54 PM   #22
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We had a lizard that would drop it's tail when it got scared. Maybe this is similar.
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Old 03-20-06, 07:02 PM   #23
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0uch
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