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  1. #1
    Immoderator KrisPistofferson's Avatar
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    Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

    Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

    March 17, 2006

    BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

    Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

    Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

    "We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

    Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

    Smashing car windows

    Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

    Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

    The occupants were not home, he added.

    Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

    "At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

    Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

    Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

    "About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

    Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

    "As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

    Contributing: Annie Sweeney

    http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html
    Quote Originally Posted by Bikeforums
    Your rights end where another poster's feelings begin.

  2. #2
    Long haired freak. wethepeople's Avatar
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    Saw this on another board I frequent.

    Talk aboot a cock fight.

    "the bus came by and I got on, that's when it all began...there was Cowboy Neal at the wheel of a bus to never-ever land."


  3. #3
    Meow! my58vw's Avatar
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    Maybe he wanted to be a girl...

    ---- Speaking from experience ----

    Although when I do it I want to retain full orgasmic potential

    Mandy
    Just your average club rider... :)

  4. #4
    2-Cyl, 1/2 HP @ 90 RPM slvoid's Avatar
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    It happens when you're on meth or some other drug.
    You don't even feel it. There's a pic floating around on the net of a guy who was slicing off pieces of his face and feeding it to his dogs.

  5. #5
    Stop it. 56/12 and 22/28's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by my58vw
    Maybe he wanted to be a girl...

    ---- Speaking from experience ----

    Although when I do it I want to retain full orgasmic potential

    Mandy
    I know I do.

    Man, that dude is pretty hardcore, he should be in the BeeTL, jonsam, and me three-some.
    http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/6...zysmall4uh.gifCanadian Correspondent General.
    2003 Colnago Dream D-A 7700, 2006 Giant TCR 2.

  6. #6
    Banned.
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    Yeah, that happened to me once. Trouble was, I couldn't throw it, too heavy.

  7. #7
    Meow! my58vw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ranger
    Yeah, that happened to me once. Trouble was, I couldn't throw it, too heavy.
    Spoken like a guy... in my case, depth is everything!

    Mandy
    Just your average club rider... :)

  8. #8
    Senior Member classic1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krispistoferson
    Man severs own penis, throws it at officers


    "We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

  9. #9
    Dances With Cars TRaffic Jammer's Avatar
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    LOL@ op sig.... 'some days you just can't get rid of a bomb'

  10. #10
    Senior Member classic1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ranger
    Yeah, that happened to me once. Trouble was, I couldn't throw it, too heavy.

    Quote Originally Posted by krispistoferson
    "About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.
    Ranger still has a way to go yet.

  11. #11
    Banned. sngltrackdufus's Avatar
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    heh, a variation of suck my d**k .AT&T style.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
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    Thats one for Jay Leno's stupid criminal headlines.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  13. #13
    Yabba-Dabba-Doo! AlmostTrick's Avatar
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    The police said he was just nuts. (ok, it was from Leno)
    Have Bike, Will Travel

  14. #14
    .
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    I wonder if Larry Wachowski is envious.

  15. #15
    Cycle Dallas MMACH 5's Avatar
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    If they hadn't tazered me, I had plans of lopping off some other stuff, too.


  16. #16
    Banned.
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    Man severs own penis, bludgeons officers with it.

    Man severs own penis, pole vaults out of custody.

    Man severs own penis, in attempt to stop world hunger.

    Man severs own penis, repairs levy and averts Katrina damage.

  17. #17
    By-Tor...or the Snow Dog? hi565's Avatar
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    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



    That was wrong, yet hilarious.
    ----------------------------------------------------------

  18. #18
    Packfodding 3 caloso's Avatar
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    He was just whacking off.
    Cyclists of the world, unite! You have nothing to lube but your chains!

  19. #19
    . bbattle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by my58vw
    Maybe he wanted to be a girl...

    ---- Speaking from experience ----

    Although when I do it I want to retain full orgasmic potential

    Mandy
    Oh stop thinking about sex.

    BRIAN
    I wasn't!

    MANDY
    You're always on about it. Morning, noon, and night. Will the girls like
    this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?

  20. #20
    Specialized Member ChAnMaN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by caloso
    He was just whacking off.
    DA DA Ching!
    You can never be too Specialized
    Click here if any of the following apply to you:
    1 You dont like Specialized, 2 You drive a SUV, 3 Your name is George Bush

  21. #21
    JOCP Lives! TheDTrain's Avatar
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    I wouldn't really be able to throw mine.





    Four inches!


    Yeah!














    But some women don't like it that wide.










    (LOL! Heard that from a comedian somewhere, hilarious!)
    http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/6...zysmall4uh.gifhttp://www.swmich.edu/resources/grap...cing/apple.jpghttp://boards.atlanticrecords.com/ev...5102728/avatarhttp://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/G...69123_6418.gif "You know it's funny when it rains it pours. They got money for wars, but can't feed tha poor. Sad there ain't no hope for tha youth and tha truth is there ain't no hope for tha future" - Tupac

  22. #22
    explody pup
    Guest
    We had a lizard that would drop it's tail when it got scared. Maybe this is similar.

  23. #23
    '05 NUEser EJ123's Avatar
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