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  1. #1
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    how drinking affect certain people

    Morning after rant.
    Went out last night with close friends of mine, this one person who I care about drinks more often then he should, the problem is that when he does, he goes from being the most interesting person to being assertive and controlling and even agressive.
    Sometimes, I sadly think our close friendship is in jerperdy because of how he turns out to be when he has too many drinks. We go from having the best laughs(when sober) to arguing ( when he is drunk).
    Drinking changes some people so much, or does it just accentuate the way they truly are?

  2. #2
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    Morning Blondie!

    In my experience... I think it's a little of both.... but more of the later. I think people's "inner character" comes out when they drink too much.

    People who are generally happy and positive about life tend to be "happy go lucky" type drinkers. They drink a little and they just feel good and relaxed and happy to be out cutting loose a little with friends. (I'm in this category..I'm a "happy drunk")

    People who have pent up aggression, anger, control issues etc.. tend to show that side when they are drinking, because the stuff they can "usually" keep in check, they can't when under the influence of alcohol. People who become aggressive when they drink can also have a chemical inbalance, but either way...not any fun to be around. I found, that I have to keep my interaction with these types of friends to situations where alcohol will not be part of what we have planned.

    BTW...posted some TT bike pics here last night. Hope you have a good weekend!
    Just Do It..

  3. #3
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    I don't really drink. If I do, it might be a wine cooler, which is good enough to get me tipsy. But I'm like you, cycle17. I'm a happy drunk. I start cracking jokes and I actually get on a roll with them. The only regret I have is being a little loud.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
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    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  4. #4
    Kelly Drive Amateur Boogs's Avatar
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    I can be a little more boisterous, and a little more racy in the humor department, but I don't have much in the way of aggression - I've never been in a fight or a public argument. Luckily I'm a big-ish fellow, or I would probably get messed with.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    Drinking changes some people so much, or does it just accentuate the way they truly are?
    It accentuates who they are when they are drunk. When they are sober, they are who they are when they are sober. I've been through all of this and consider myself an expert. In the end, the answer is that your friend is a "bad drunk." IOW, he probably shouldn't drink.

  6. #6
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Instant A$$hole, just add alcohol!

  7. #7
    Meow! my58vw's Avatar
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    ^^^

    I am a giggly happy drunk... like last nite, unfortunitly my body can handle about 2 drinks...

    Not supose to drink though
    Just your average club rider... :)

  8. #8
    Kelly Drive Amateur Boogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stacey
    Instant A$$hole, just add alcohol!

  9. #9
    Senior Member midgie's Avatar
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    Alcohol isn't a disease, Alcoholism is. Alcohol is the most dangerous legal drug.
    Alcohol doesn't affect everyone the same. There a heavy drinkers that are not alcoholics.
    An alcoholic doesn't have to drink alot, its not the amount you drink, its how what you drink affects you.
    I was usually a very happy drunk,(not one of those crying drunks), sometimes I could be mean, but usually with provocation.
    Sober I'm still the same, except now when I call anyone an a**hole, I don't slur my words

    Some consider alcohol "liquid courage" they need it to be someone they don't think they are. Which in reality they are, its fear that tells them they're not.
    Or they believe it gives them a license to be an a**hole

    And I have to agree with Lem in Pa, your friend does look to be a future candidate of AA
    But I don't have the luxury of being judgemental, as I am a member of AA(and its in the rules )
    We're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny ****ing Kaye.~Clark Griswold

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    I just feel really sad, he is such a great person when sober and we shared so much good times, we had an argument and I walked away from him, he was upset that I did. i didnt walk away cause I cant take desagreement but because I couldnt take how he handles an argument when he is drunk. He was very controlling, only him was allowed to have the floor to talk and god forbide you interupted him, he would get really angry. I walked away cause I cant deal with this. I thought he would call today once he sobered up, but no call and he wont return mine .. he probably doesnt even know he was such an a..

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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    I just feel really sad, he is such a great person when sober and we shared so much good times, we had an argument and I walked away from him, he was upset that I did. i didnt walk away cause I cant take desagreement but because I couldnt take how he handles an argument when he is drunk. He was very controlling, only him was allowed to have the floor to talk and god forbide you interupted him, he would get really angry. I walked away cause I cant deal with this. I thought he would call today once he sobered up, but no call and he wont return mine .. he probably doesnt even know he was such an a..
    Perhaps he does realize, but is unwilling to accept it. There's a deep
    anger beneath the surface...don't get sucked into an emotionally abusive
    trap.
    Iím not familiar precisely with exactly what I said, but I stand by what I said whatever it was.

  12. #12
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poppaspoke
    Perhaps he does realize, but is unwilling to accept it. There's a deep
    anger beneath the surface...don't get sucked into an emotionally abusive
    trap.

    +1 I find that unless someone is falling down, passed out drunk...they almost always have an awareness of how they acted or what they said. In my own experience...people who act like this when they have had too much to drink do have a deep seeded anger beneath the surface. They are aware of it, they just don't want to face it. Drinking brings it out when they might otherwise keep it hidden. Don't get sucked in. I feel for you BDG. I had an ex and also a close friend who acted this very same way when drinking.
    Just Do It..

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    yeah..
    I really care for him and I think alcool might have distroyed our long friendship.. i didnt pull up with it and he didnt call back.
    thanks for listening

  14. #14
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    alcohol.. sorry cant spell today.. or on anyday as a matter of fact

  15. #15
    Kelly Drive Amateur Boogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    I just feel really sad, he is such a great person when sober and we shared so much good times, we had an argument and I walked away from him, he was upset that I did. i didnt walk away cause I cant take desagreement but because I couldnt take how he handles an argument when he is drunk. He was very controlling, only him was allowed to have the floor to talk and god forbide you interupted him, he would get really angry. I walked away cause I cant deal with this. I thought he would call today once he sobered up, but no call and he wont return mine .. he probably doesnt even know he was such an a..
    IMHO, and your mileage may vary, avoid getting too close to this one. It sucks, because you never can be 100% sure what someone is like deep down inside, but the cards are stacked against you here.


    peace,
    David

  16. #16
    Lex
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    I have about an average of a few drinks every two years or so these days. I'm a giggly drunk. There are people that you just know it's not a good idea to drink with.....and I know it's hard not to do so but you have to do it for the sake of everyone - including the person. For example, my cousin - who is the nicest guy when sober - is a stupid drunk - he walks into things, hits on women who are accompanied by giant men in a rather aggressive way and comes out swinging at the slightest slur. Not a person to drink with - so we don't. It's hard to do to tailor social interaction but it's the way we keep from killing him - and from him getting killed when he's with us.
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  17. #17
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -=£em in Pa=-
    It is now accepted that it is a desease and not a
    'weakness' like has been the common misconception for a long time.
    Alcohol is not, has never been and will never be considered a disease. Alcolohism, on the other hand, has been considered a disease for quite some time now.

    Quote Originally Posted by -=£em in Pa=-
    It is a whole process triggered
    as much by synapsis in the brain than the alcohol. Just like sugar to a diabetic.
    That may be one of the stupidest things I have ever heard!! When you know nothing about something, you shouldn't make wild ass assertive statements like this. A diabetics thinking about sugar has absolutely no effect on their blood sugar levels. Nor does thinking about sugar have any neurological impact on a diabetic physiologically. Where in the world did you come up with this???

    I don't know either way if an alcoholic's brain starts chemically changing and possibly producing physiological effects if/when they think about alcohol, but knowing a few recovering alcoholics, and having seen them around people drinking, I don't think that's the case. Possibly an active alcoholic.

    Quote Originally Posted by -=£em in Pa=-
    Your friend is a future candidate for A.A.
    Yet another stupid ass assertion. Alcohol is a drug. It changes our personalities by design. If you do not like the way someone is as a drunk, do not drink with them. But becoming a nasty drunk does not, in and of itself, make one a candidate for A.A.

    The only thing that may indicate that this guy needs AA is BDG's perception that this guy drinks more often than he should. That's her opinion. May be right, may not be. What you are right about is that BDG shouldn't drink with this guy. If he does have a problem, her drinking with him is an enabling factor. Of course, if he is a candidate for AA, he'll choose the drinking over BDG in a heartbeat if she delivers an ultimatum.

    As for your your final statement... alcohol is no more dangerous than you, Mr. Democrat (though much easier to ignore); it's based on the person using it and their subjectiveness to addiction and/or abuse.
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    The only thing that may indicate that this guy needs AA is BDG's perception that this guy drinks more often than he should. That's her opinion. May be right, may not be. What you are right about is that BDG shouldn't drink with this guy. If he does have a problem, her drinking with him is an enabling factor. Of course, if he is a candidate for AA, he'll choose the drinking over BDG in a heartbeat if she delivers an ultimatum.

    drinking on an everyday basis is way too much for me, that is my peception only and my opinion, but it's way too much for me to handle, specially when you dont know when one too many will hit and the personnality changes. And you are right, I have thought of telling him that I just dont want to be around him when he drinks too much ( if he ever calls back) and what's holding me back is that i have a feeling he would choose the alcohol over me and then..ouch...

  19. #19
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    drinking on an everyday basis is way too much for me, that is my peception only and my opinion, but it's way too much for me to handle, specially when you dont know when one too many will hit and the personnality changes. And you are right, I have thought of telling him that I just dont want to be around him when he drinks too much ( if he ever calls back) and what's holding me back is that i have a feeling he would choose the alcohol over me and then..ouch...

    Your probably right. Trust your instincts BDG.
    Just Do It..

  20. #20
    Kelly Drive Amateur Boogs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    ...I have thought of telling him that I just dont want to be around him when he drinks too much ( if he ever calls back) and what's holding me back is that i have a feeling he would choose the alcohol over me and then..ouch...
    On the other hand, there would also be closure and "moving on with things"? Just a thought, and easier said than done, I admit.

  21. #21
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    drinking on an everyday basis is way too much for me, that is my peception only and my opinion, but it's way too much for me to handle, specially when you dont know when one too many will hit and the personnality changes. And you are right, I have thought of telling him that I just dont want to be around him when he drinks too much ( if he ever calls back) and what's holding me back is that i have a feeling he would choose the alcohol over me and then..ouch...
    Drinking on an every day basis doesn't make one an alcoholic. Drinking too much every day is definitely alcoholism.

    And if he does choose drinking over you, then you know for sure. If he is an alcoholic, it's only going to get worse and if you stay with him as a friend you stand a fair chance of being affected by his alcoholism.

    For reference, I have friends and family who are alcoholics (mostly recovering); part of the reason I don't drink.
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  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by skiahh
    Drinking on an every day basis doesn't make one an alcoholic. Drinking too much every day is definitely alcoholism.

    And if he does choose drinking over you, then you know for sure. If he is an alcoholic, it's only going to get worse and if you stay with him as a friend you stand a fair chance of being affected by his alcoholism.

    For reference, I have friends and family who are alcoholics (mostly recovering); part of the reason I don't drink.
    Im allready affected.. Im a strong outspoken person and always laughing and upbeat.. around him when he is drunk, I get insecure, walking on egg shells all the time so i dont make him mad and I even feel unhappy.. this is affecting me.. last night it is what I was fighting for.. my pride,my spirit and everything I stand for, I really stood up for myself and it felt good to be me again.. I cannot belive how much this thread has helped me see.. I am so glad i posted it.. all of your imput made me see things I had trouble seing, some about him and some about me..
    I really care for this person, Im very sad today and Im having trouble eating and i sure didnt sleep, all of it because Im afraid on not having him in my life anymore.. and now.. Im not sure he should be calling back.. regardless, thank you all for your opoions and imputs, they have helped me so far way more then youll ever know.

  23. #23
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Angry drunks are to be avoided at all costs, otherwise you spend all your time and money bailing them out of jail. Hope things work out for you BDG.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  24. #24
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    All I can say...it's not the inner person so much as all the baggage they have going on in their lives that will come up when drunk.

    If I am honestly in a good mood when drunk I will usually be loud and just odd. Usually I just make a fool out of myself by attempting to sing to Eagles songs and the like.

    If I am in a so-so or bad mood, I just drink myself sleepy, and go take a nap.
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  25. #25
    Senior Member skiahh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by -=&#163;em in Pa=-
    Your arrogance and anger is only topped by your total lack of
    correct information. Quantum and rational thinking are not your forte's.
    After 4 rehabs in the 90's and two actual momentary death / alcohol poisoning
    adventures in 11 months I have quite a bit of knowledge on this subject.
    I would say with your attutide you would be a good candidate for the stuff AA provides
    even though you say you dont partake of alcohol.
    "Hello, my name is Skiahh and I am a dry drunk"

    AA teaches letting go......
    You are now the second person on my ignore list.

    Have a GREAT day !
    WooHooo! I'm on a holier than thou moron's ignore list. I feel complete.

    (And for the record - if anyone cares, yes, I was annoyed by dingbat's implication that Diabetics are addicted to sugar, which is about as insulting a thing you can say to a Diabetic. As if they have any say over the matter or can go to some meetings and cure themselves. Yes, it affects me... my wife is a 24 year Type 1 Diabetic.)
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