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Old 07-12-06, 02:32 PM   #1
thomspins
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girlfriend is a cheater...

Well, I just found out today; unfortunately that my girlfriend of 7 months has been seeing some other dude lately....

Things have been weird for the last couple of weeks and I had that gut feeling even though she proclaimed that she's just busy w/ grad school and all... I hated to but checked her e-mail, and found about a weeks worth of all cute and gushy e-mail between the two....

man i didn't ever think this would happen to me... esp. w/ this one; seemed like a keeper.

I feel bad that I checked her e-mail but knew something was up... should I just bring that up to her and lay it all out or have some fun w/ it; we're supposed to eat out tonight and whatnot..?

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Old 07-12-06, 02:47 PM   #2
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Just dump her. Don't "have fun" with her, don't get revenge, don't play things out, don't explain, don't justify, don't hesitate. Dump her, immediately, and wash your hands of it all.
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Old 07-12-06, 02:48 PM   #3
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Sorry to hear that. It's not much consolation, but you're not the only guy this has ever happened to. Personally, I would lay it all out and deal with it. There is no "fun" to be had with the situation.
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Old 07-12-06, 02:49 PM   #4
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YIKES you checked her email???
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Old 07-12-06, 02:49 PM   #5
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Follow the advice in your sig. Be glad that it didn't happen to you farther down the road.

Trust your gut with women. That's the best advice that I can give you after 48 years on the firing line.

Good luck with your choices whatever you choose. My heart goes out to you. We have pretty much all been there at some point and lived to tell about it though. So keep your chin up.
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Old 07-12-06, 02:51 PM   #6
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don't let her know your insight, and as much as explody_pup fools around, he's dead on with this one. Drop her like a hot rock. She doesn't need to know why --in fact she'll already know. Sucks, man.
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Old 07-12-06, 02:51 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by explody pup
Just dump her. Don't "have fun" with her, don't get revenge, don't play things out, don't explain, don't justify, don't hesitate. Dump her, immediately, and wash your hands of it all.

+1....Don't waste your time on her. Move on.
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Old 07-12-06, 02:58 PM   #8
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Just dump her and get it over.

Cheating is one of the lowest things a SO can do. It makes the other person feel about as big as an ant because they are not 'good enough.'

The best thing to do is tell her "It's not you, it's me." That will let her know that it really is her, but you don't have to provide details why.

Then realize it takes a good deal of time and support from friends/family to get over the hurt and anger and embarassment.

Vent it on FOO. That's a good step, actually... good luck with this.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:07 PM   #9
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- as a man of multiple marriages, let me tell you this:

The fifth time is the charm.

:-)

p.s. never liquidate pre-marital assets.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:11 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by CyLowe97
The best thing to do is tell her "It's not you, it's me."
"I invented "its not you, it's me", if it's anybody, its ME!"

-George Costanza
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Old 07-12-06, 03:12 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by superdex
don't let her know your insight, and as much as explody_pup fools around, he's dead on with this one. Drop her like a hot rock. She doesn't need to know why --in fact she'll already know. Sucks, man.

Damn right. Odds are she knows, so don't even bother explaining yourself. You don't need to turn this into some big confrontation, just get it over with.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:15 PM   #12
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I guess I'm the only one here who copes through pranks. I'm sure these guys are all right in taking the quick and dignified route...don't listen to silly old me.

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Old 07-12-06, 03:19 PM   #13
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Old 07-12-06, 03:19 PM   #14
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I'd advise the rapid dump approach as well. Don't put yourself through any more unnecessary drama. If it's at all cathartic, burn her a CD of "dump" songs. (Bye Bye Bye, Since You've Been Gone, The Thrill is Gone, etc). No need to go any farther than that.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:20 PM   #15
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I say hang out on Foo, post your pic and watch all the ladies here flirt with you. She will be out of your memory in no time. The guys here are starting their own fan clubs....
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Old 07-12-06, 03:23 PM   #16
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Siu knows best.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:27 PM   #17
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I'm sorry, that so sucks. Take explody's advice. You won't need to explain to her.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:32 PM   #18
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Time to move on!!! There's plenty of fish in the ocean... no one's worth that mess.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:35 PM   #19
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Drop it like its hot. No explaination. In fact, the mystery will eat her alive.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:39 PM   #20
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I agree with most people that posted... just tell her you are breaking up. No long drawn out dicussion, no revenge, no need for that. Just end it and move on. She knows what she did. Sorry this had to happpen, but it's better to know now, than find out much later. Good luck with it.
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Old 07-12-06, 03:40 PM   #21
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Quote:
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Drop it like its hot. No explaination. In fact, the mystery will eat her alive.
Ya know....in this instance..I kinda favor Ranger5oh's response.
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Old 07-12-06, 04:03 PM   #22
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Dump her.
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Old 07-12-06, 04:08 PM   #23
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Quote:
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YIKES you checked her email???
I was sort of wondering about that too. While cheating is not a good thing, secretly going through others mail or e-mail is not much better.
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Old 07-12-06, 04:18 PM   #24
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dilih
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Old 07-12-06, 04:24 PM   #25
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The thing about it is, if you thought she was a keeper and you thought you were in love. Or maybe you think she is the most special person in the world. It doesn't matter, because she doesn't feel the same way about you. It shows in the lack of disrespect she has for you, instead of breaking up with you she goes having flings with other guys. Dump her. If you want to have some fun doing it, I would say go ahead.
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