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Old 07-17-06, 08:06 AM   #1
KevinmH9
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Work Troubles

Before typing this message, I want to clear the air that I am not to be a person seeking gossip or drama; however, I am an advocate of all that is wrong with drama, especially in the workplace. After seeing my boss and other co-workers today, I thought I would get public testimonials to see as what I am doing is wrong or if people are overstressing the situation. About a year ago, my bigger boss, brought her daughter to start working at the Shell Oil Station. At the time, she was 17 and I was 20 and now that I am in college I typically work during the winter and summer vacations I have, an average of 4-5 months of the year. From what I learned later, my bosses' daughter established a crush on me.

I starting hesitating towards the situation, reassuring that I did not want drama nor do relationships within the workplace, adding the fact that this girl was in still in fact my bosses' daughter. Now a year later and halfway through my summer break I learned she still has a crush on me, now that she is 18 and I am 21 (I will be 22 before she turns 19) my other boss has been has been pressuring me to take her on a date, as friends; so they would like to think. Like any other workplace, gossip travels faster than anything I can ponder at the moment and within days the entire store brings up the situation whenever possible.

After talking to my boss, she recommended that I take her on a date. I reluctantly agreed but did not disclose when I would take her out. For added information I work third shift on a full time basis because it pays well and all I need to do is clean all night. So without really using my opinion this girl, who may I mention is 18 and does not have her license, plans the date for this past Sunday, basically giving less than a weeks notice. The next day I talked to a co-worker and a good friend of mine and I told him that I did not believe I would be in any condition to take her out on Sunday, especially seeing how I would only be getting 4-5 hours of sleep after working my shift. The following day I told the girl that it'd be easier to do it when we both have prolonged time off so I can sleep and be in better condition to go out. With her going to California for 2 weeks, I mentioned that after she gets back in August it'd be much easier. She disagreed but in a jokingly way so I played it off.

So Sunday morning comes and I am wiped after a long night of work and a lack of sleep the following night and tell her that the Sunday she planned would not be a good idea because I didn't feel well nor had I gotten sleep in awhile so I would need my only day off in awhile to sleep. She told me it was fine and we'd do it another time. So I was on my bike ride this morning and I usually pass by my work and I went to go grab a water and my boss came up to me and angrily told me that postponing "our date" was stupid and that "I better not break her heart" and to add to the fire the girl's mother, and as mentioned earlier my "bigger boss" was there, who is usually very open to talk to me and friendly with me, chose not to talk to me at all while I was there.

To conclude, my boss is basically ticked off at me because she is taking it that I am going to break this girlís heart when I have been reluctant to the whole situation from the start. Other co-workers donít appear to be too happy either about the situation and what I have supposedly done. I donít want the situation to escalate to a relationship when she canít drive and I go back to college in about a month. The question to you all; is my boss and co-workers overreacting to the situation and drama and relationships truly donít belong in the workplace or is what I have done wrong? Thanks for your patience and help all. Time to go on another bike ride to relieve some stress before going into work .
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Old 07-17-06, 08:15 AM   #2
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I nevereverevereverevereverever mix my professional and personal lives. Which isn't too difficult, I guess, since I'm in engineering and it's very male-dominated.

Yes, these tools are overreacting. My advice would be make it very, very clear to your coworkers that your private life is absolutely none of their business and to not date this girl. They'll get over it, she'll get over it. It would probably be good to explain your situation to the girl. Nobody else needs to be involved.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:24 AM   #3
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Your boss was 100% wrong to ask you to take the girl out on a date - and you were wrong to agree. The only reason you should ask someone out is if you want to go out with them and it doesn't sound like you really did. That aside, it was completely wrong and unprofessional for someone in a supervisory position to put you in a position where you felt pressure to do something that impacted on your private life or infringed on your enjoyment of your time off. I feel for the girl (because the boss felt she needed to ask you and then needed to get indignant) but, really, it was a bad situation to begin with. What you've already experienced is a shadow of what you would experience if you embroiled yourself into a relationship with her and then it went bad.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:29 AM   #4
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I say get a room, flog her till she can't walk, give the room key to her mother, proclaim "How do you like me now?" and find another job... fast!
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Old 07-17-06, 08:33 AM   #5
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I say get a room, flog her till she can't walk, give the room key to her mother, proclaim "How do you like me now?" and find another job... fast!
I like this idea. Make sure to get a lot of pictures, too.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:34 AM   #6
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I like this idea. Make sure to get a lot of pictures, too.
Word dat! This would be useless without pictures
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Old 07-17-06, 08:34 AM   #7
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Somewhere you needed to say, "I'm feeling harrassed."
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Old 07-17-06, 08:35 AM   #8
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I say get a room, flog her till she can't walk, give the room key to her mother, proclaim "How do you like me now?" and find another job... fast!



Thats outrageous that the boss freaks out like that. I would go in his office and tell him how unprofessional he is acting, and say it's not a good idea to do that dating an office girl scheme.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:37 AM   #9
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Somewhere you needed to say, "I'm feeling harrassed."
+1000


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Old 07-17-06, 08:42 AM   #10
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The whole situation is wrong from the start. Bosses mind your own bidness, girls get your own dates, NEVER EVER go out with the bosses' anything, EVER, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WORK SOMEWHERE YOU CAN BE SET ON FIRE EASILY!!!!

The fact the boss gets bent because you delayed "the date", *shutters*..... run mother f*&ker. Don't look back, don't go back for a final cheque.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:43 AM   #11
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Ever see The Graduate? Drive like a maniac and take her to a titty bar.

Seriously, though,this is a difficult situation. Because it sounds like you don't want to go there. If you don't go out with her, you'll break her heart now, if you go out with her, then that may only give her expectations and the let doen later may be bigger.

Tough choice. How about not bathing for a couple of days and eating a couple of cans of baked beans right before the date so she cuts it off.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:44 AM   #12
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Don't look back, don't go back for a final cheque.
After you nail the boss's daughter, of course.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:47 AM   #13
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After you nail the boss's daughter, of course.
With the parent/boss trying the setup? I don't think so man, there's more to this that we can't see.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:47 AM   #14
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by being hesitant to date your boss's daughter and the outcome proved it! the fact that one boss would even get involved in your personal choice is wrong.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:47 AM   #15
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If you don't go out with her, you'll break her heart now, if you go out with her, then that may only give her expectations and the let doen later may be bigger.
If his not going out with her breaks her heart, then she has far greater problems to deal with than dating this guy. Such as her manipulative mother.

Maybe the mom-boss has the hots for Kevin and is trying to live vicariously through her daughter. If he plays this right, he might be able to bag them both.
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Old 07-17-06, 08:52 AM   #16
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For that we will need pictures!
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Old 07-17-06, 08:57 AM   #17
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Yes your boss was completely wrong. Is this girl SOO hard up that he mom needs to help her get a date???
Yikes!!! I feel for you. I would nicely tell them all you don't want to mix business with pleasure and that you hope they all will respect your feelings in this matter.
Plus, I didn't hear you say at all that you had a thing for this girl.

Don't get involved!!!
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Old 07-17-06, 09:03 AM   #18
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Jees... it's like a bad shotgun wedding TV sitcom.
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Old 07-17-06, 09:08 AM   #19
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Hey thanks for all of your opinions. To appoint several issues upon the situation, my co-worker, Candace, who has a crush on me, her mom is lesbian. To make the situation interesting, Candace is also bisexual. The Shell Oil Station is partnered by us and a Dunkin Donuts and throughout this tirade I would like to say I have nothing against gays/lesbians/bisexuals, but counting about ten to fifteen girls, two of them are only heterosexual, the rest; including Candace are bisexual or lesbian. Annnddd one of the girls over at the Dunkin Donuts has also dated her! When I saw my boss today it appeared now it was my problem too! She wanted nothing of it and basically threatened me not to break her heart. Why oh why I went back, probably for the money, eh? Not the first time I quit, about 2 years ago I quit due to other drama within the Shell. I wasn't personally involved, but it made working very unpleasant. To avoid another long reply I won't go into details, but this isn't a first.
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Old 07-17-06, 09:11 AM   #20
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Learn from the past or the future will hit you like a freight train.
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Old 07-17-06, 09:11 AM   #21
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Any way you can turn this into an orgy?
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Old 07-17-06, 09:12 AM   #22
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Tell your boss all you did was delay the date but now thanks to her attitude and weirdness the date is off and she can blame herself for breaking her daughters heart. Tell Candace at the same time too, talk to them both at the same time.
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Old 07-17-06, 09:13 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by KevinmH9
Hey thanks for all of your opinions. To appoint several issues upon the situation, my co-worker, Candace, who has a crush on me, her mom is lesbian. To make the situation interesting, Candace is also bisexual. The Shell Oil Station is partnered by us and a Dunkin Donuts and throughout this tirade I would like to say I have nothing against gays/lesbians/bisexuals, but counting about ten to fifteen girls, two of them are only heterosexual, the rest; including Candace are bisexual or lesbian. Annnddd one of the girls over at the Dunkin Donuts has also dated her! When I saw my boss today it appeared now it was my problem too! She wanted nothing of it and basically threatened me not to break her heart. Why oh why I went back, probably for the money, eh? Not the first time I quit, about 2 years ago I quit due to other drama within the Shell. I wasn't personally involved, but it made working very unpleasant. To avoid another long reply I won't go into details, but this isn't a first.

Hey, I'll take your job. Sounds like all they need is a token trannie and they'll have a well rounded work enviroment
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Old 07-17-06, 09:18 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by KevinmH9
Hey thanks for all of your opinions. To appoint several issues upon the situation, my co-worker, Candace, who has a crush on me, her mom is lesbian. To make the situation interesting, Candace is also bisexual. The Shell Oil Station is partnered by us and a Dunkin Donuts and throughout this tirade I would like to say I have nothing against gays/lesbians/bisexuals, but counting about ten to fifteen girls, two of them are only heterosexual, the rest; including Candace are bisexual or lesbian. Annnddd one of the girls over at the Dunkin Donuts has also dated her! When I saw my boss today it appeared now it was my problem too! She wanted nothing of it and basically threatened me not to break her heart. Why oh why I went back, probably for the money, eh? Not the first time I quit, about 2 years ago I quit due to other drama within the Shell. I wasn't personally involved, but it made working very unpleasant. To avoid another long reply I won't go into details, but this isn't a first.
I take it all back. Dude, what are you waiting for? This has 3 way written all over it!
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Old 07-17-06, 09:19 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by KevinmH9
Hey thanks for all of your opinions. To appoint several issues upon the situation, my co-worker, Candace, who has a crush on me, her mom is lesbian. To make the situation interesting, Candace is also bisexual. The Shell Oil Station is partnered by us and a Dunkin Donuts and throughout this tirade I would like to say I have nothing against gays/lesbians/bisexuals, but counting about ten to fifteen girls, two of them are only heterosexual, the rest; including Candace are bisexual or lesbian. Annnddd one of the girls over at the Dunkin Donuts has also dated her! When I saw my boss today it appeared now it was my problem too! She wanted nothing of it and basically threatened me not to break her heart. Why oh why I went back, probably for the money, eh? Not the first time I quit, about 2 years ago I quit due to other drama within the Shell. I wasn't personally involved, but it made working very unpleasant. To avoid another long reply I won't go into details, but this isn't a first.
omg is this the shell station I go to? I think Candace has been having her eyes on me too!
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