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Old 07-19-06, 10:01 AM   #1
koine2002
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Oh the Awkardness!

[rant]Sooooo, I'm in a situation I've never been in before. I have a very old friend who is female who in the last two months, we have encountered "boy/girl" issues. I'm also a family friend and she's been like my kid sister (she's 10 years younger--I'm in my early 30's). Anyway, we've decided that there is no point in throwing away several years of history, but things are in no way the same, nor will they be--at least for a while. It seems that everyday we're having "awkward moment" recovery periods and a "you crossed this line" kind of talk (either from me or her). In the last couple of weeks, they've gotten less and less (like once every 3 days instead of 5 times a day), but they still happen. Oh, we also have to see eachother everyday! Anyway, it's just really wierd. I've decided if we want to keep a "friendship", that the best place to go is back to where things were built. It's unrealistic that we'll ever be as close as we were, but we can get close. Never have I been through something like this with someone who is like family to me--and whose family is like family to me! Anyway, I just needed to rant![/rant]
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Old 07-19-06, 12:08 PM   #2
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If you two really are friends, then you'll get over it and either 1. return to the previous equilibrium of friendship or 2. have some fun, guilt-free "boy/girl" issues...


And since we're on the subject of awkwardness: that uncontrollable hard-on while getting a physical...
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Old 07-19-06, 12:13 PM   #3
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explody, you're talking about during the rectal exam, right? Nope, have no idea what you're talking about.

koine, if you can hit it discreetly, hit it. You've been friends this long, is it really that awkward to see her nekkid? g'wan!
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Old 07-19-06, 12:16 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by superdex
explody, you're talking about during the rectal exam, right? Nope, have no idea what you're talking about.
Ummmm... no comment.

Related note: Awkward: When the doctor insists that you give him a rectal exam, too.

C'mon. I can't be the only one with this problem...
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Old 07-19-06, 12:24 PM   #5
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lol! this to tooooo funny!
and to the OP, I dont know... guess you can be attracted to your friends but if it keeps taking over maybe you tow are bond to be more then friends?
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Old 07-19-06, 12:30 PM   #6
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Aww I say just let things happen see where it takes you both. If its meant to be then its meant to be.
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Old 07-19-06, 12:33 PM   #7
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There you go! Snowy said to HIT IT!

HIT IT LIKE A BASEBALL!
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Old 07-19-06, 12:41 PM   #8
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She's outta here!

EDIT: Add pic

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Old 07-19-06, 12:42 PM   #9
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speaking of awkwardness:

1) attend class (of any sort)
2) be the first one walking out at a lunch break
3) stop and bend over to throw something away at the door
4) fart loudly in the direction of everyone else leaving the room


nope, never happened to me.
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Old 07-19-06, 12:47 PM   #10
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I'm a little confused as to what the problem is. People say this kind of stuff all the time and it doesn't make sense to me, especially if you both are having these feelings. Ask anyone who is happily married who their best friend is. You get one guess.

If you and a close friend have legit feelings for each other, you should sit down and talk about it. The age difference isn't an inherent problem, that all depends on you. This could be a story you tell your kids one day "When I was your age, I posted on that there interweb about your mom!"

/Dr. Phil
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Old 07-19-06, 12:51 PM   #11
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+1 Dr Phil, and why fight it if it's always getting in the way..
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Old 07-19-06, 01:35 PM   #12
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All this pent-up emotion and tension's not good, you're both gonna get ulcers and end up hating each other. Just get it over with, have a wild primal animalistic sex-session that'll scare all the neighborhood cats away for blocks. You'll both feel better afterwards...
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Old 07-19-06, 01:47 PM   #13
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Don't let "history" be something that takes you out of the moment. Don't create any rules for your friendship. Just spend time with her and if what you (both of you) are feeling is genuine attraction and caring, enjoy it. "And, remember that line from "Maud Muller": "For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.'"


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Old 07-19-06, 01:48 PM   #14
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I was gonna write an advice, but I felt the follwing picture would better illustrate my point(wait for it to load):



Hit it. Hit it good. Hit it often.

If you hit it hard enough, and by GOD you will, you would create a rift in the time-space continuum that would cause her to bypass all the sentimental stuff and get to the good part.
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Old 07-19-06, 02:08 PM   #15
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I just don't get why its such a hard topic for anyone. If two people share the same feelings for eachother and they both want the same thing then whats the issue??Also, HELLO just talk to eachother its not that big of a deal, its not like your going to bomb Iran or something.
You don't want to die with regret cause you were to afraid to speak up do you?? I say like it spill out and see what comes of it.
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Old 07-19-06, 02:08 PM   #16
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What the hell are "boy/girl" issues? I'm 37 and this is a new one on me. I've heard of girl issues, but that usually only happens once a month and I've never heard of it happening to boys!
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Old 07-19-06, 02:14 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Portis
What the hell are "boy/girl" issues? I'm 37 and this is a new one on me. I've heard of girl issues, but that usually only happens once a month and I've never heard of it happening to boys!
Kinda like friends with benefits, either accidentally or intentionally.
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Old 07-19-06, 02:17 PM   #18
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I've been there before, a long, long time ago.

My rule of thumb if I ever had this situation again would be to "go for it". Basically, the "friendship" is already gone as it once was. It will NEVER be that way again. You have to face that. All you can do is "go for it" and hope it works, and if not, you lost the friend as a "close friend" forever, but as you have already lost that closeness, it really isn't much different than not going for it.
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Old 07-19-06, 02:22 PM   #19
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Originally Posted by superdex
There you go! Snowy said to HIT IT!

HIT IT LIKE A BASEBALL!
YEP HIT IT!!
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Old 07-19-06, 02:24 PM   #20
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Hit her, her sister's boss, and then move out!


Or something. I think I'm getting my threads mixed up again...
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Old 07-19-06, 03:20 PM   #21
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Thanks all--I think the biggest issue is that she is planning on moving away really soon (but will be back in a few years) to go off to school so the timing is not what it should be. It's just the awkardness of mutual attraction and not being able to pursue it for the time being. A couple months ago I posted something about a friend moving away and the pain of it--that's her. I guess you could say that we casually dated for a while. A few short days after that, she and I had our first DTR, I went overseas, and we finished the talk when I got back. Both of us decided that timing wasn't right, but we'll see in a few years if we're both still single. Neither of us date around to date or to have a gf or bf. In getting into a romantic relationship, we're asking the question of whether or not we should marry. Since she's not ready (needs to go to school) to marry, there's no point in asking that question of each other yet. Like I said, things are normalizing, and that big rhinocerous in the middle of the room that we are ignoring is getting smaller and smaller. By the beginning, I meant playing with the kids she sometimes takes care of! It's a place where we can have fun without having to worry about deep emotional type conversations at the moment.
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Old 07-19-06, 03:22 PM   #22
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Old 07-19-06, 03:50 PM   #23
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All you are telling me is YOU NEED TO HIT IT and send her off to college properly. You'll never have this chance again.


Quote:
Originally Posted by koine2002
Thanks all--I think the biggest issue is that she is planning on moving away really soon (but will be back in a few years) to go off to school so the timing is not what it should be. It's just the awkardness of mutual attraction and not being able to pursue it for the time being. A couple months ago I posted something about a friend moving away and the pain of it--that's her. I guess you could say that we casually dated for a while. A few short days after that, she and I had our first DTR, I went overseas, and we finished the talk when I got back. Both of us decided that timing wasn't right, but we'll see in a few years if we're both still single. Neither of us date around to date or to have a gf or bf. In getting into a romantic relationship, we're asking the question of whether or not we should marry. Since she's not ready (needs to go to school) to marry, there's no point in asking that question of each other yet. Like I said, things are normalizing, and that big rhinocerous in the middle of the room that we are ignoring is getting smaller and smaller. By the beginning, I meant playing with the kids she sometimes takes care of! It's a place where we can have fun without having to worry about deep emotional type conversations at the moment.
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Old 07-19-06, 05:20 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by koine2002
Thanks all--I think the biggest issue is that she is planning on moving away really soon (but will be back in a few years) to go off to school so the timing is not what it should be. It's just the awkardness of mutual attraction and not being able to pursue it for the time being. A couple months ago I posted something about a friend moving away and the pain of it--that's her. I guess you could say that we casually dated for a while. A few short days after that, she and I had our first DTR, I went overseas, and we finished the talk when I got back. Both of us decided that timing wasn't right, but we'll see in a few years if we're both still single. Neither of us date around to date or to have a gf or bf. In getting into a romantic relationship, we're asking the question of whether or not we should marry. Since she's not ready (needs to go to school) to marry, there's no point in asking that question of each other yet. Like I said, things are normalizing, and that big rhinocerous in the middle of the room that we are ignoring is getting smaller and smaller. By the beginning, I meant playing with the kids she sometimes takes care of! It's a place where we can have fun without having to worry about deep emotional type conversations at the moment.
Dude, take it from all the older folks who've gone through this, you only LIVE ONCE! You're young, innocently inexperience and that's damn cute! But you can live it up, have fun, party wildly and enjoy life now like you'll never be able to again later, take advantage of it before it's too late. You're way to young too get married, and if you did, you'll probably won't be able to make it work. Because these touchy-feely "issues" you're going through now, is NOTHING like the real types of stuff that you'll encounter in a marriage.

It's like that saying about a journey of 1000-miles... starts with once step... then another... then another. What you're thinking is how you can do it all in a single big leap... marriage, relationship, committment all at once. Nope not gonna happen, it takes constant and continual work and being able to recognise what's happening RIGHT NOW and dealing with it as things comes up. The future is based upon the path you're taking today. And the best path given the circumstances is... TO HIT HARD !!!! You'd be pleasantly surprized that it actually will get you closer to both your long-term goals as well...

Last edited by Mothra; 07-20-06 at 04:34 AM.
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Old 07-19-06, 05:26 PM   #25
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Speaking of awkwardness...

I'm at my doctor's office for a sinus infection. He says, "You haven't had a physical in several years. Why don't we get that out of the way, while you're here?"
He leaves, comes back and says, "Okay, go ahead and drop your pants."

(Now, for the ladies, when we guys get a physical, we don't look down during this part. We put on a vacant stare and look toward the blood pressure cuff, hanging on the wall).

Just as he starts to get a handle on everything, he asks, "Is that Bugs Bunny?"

My first thought is, "What could possibly have changed down there, since this morning that would make my genitalia look like a cartoon rabbit?"

As I look down, I realize that I had put on my Bugs Bunny boxers, that morning. He probably wondered why I said, "Yea, it is." while breathing a sigh of relief.

On my way out of the office, I had one of those, "I should have said..." moments: Since he did have ahold of my manhood, I wish my response had been, "No, it's Elmer Fudd. Don't you recognize him?"
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