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  1. #1
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    Would you be pissed? I am getting there.

    Ok so this is totally off topic but I figured I would get a read on what people thought about this situation.

    Alright my roommates GF (who is nice enough I guess) has slowly but surely started to move in over the past couple of months. I don't care if she is there a lot, but she has started to "decorate" the place the way she likes it as well. Not much I can say about that because it is the roomies house after all. It is just part of a gradual annoyance on my part.
    Well, the roommate travels a bunch for work. This is where the problem lies. About a month ago I went home for lunch and she was there. I went again a week later and she was there again. Hmmmm, why are you chilling at our place completely alone when you have your own place to do that in? FTR I did ask if she were meeting Chris for lunch. Nope.
    So the roommate is out of town for two weeks. The first week I had the occasional Sara spotting. This week I have not just seen her but she is there every day and sleeps there as well. When I came home Monday she was there chilling with her sister.

    Am I wrong in thinking....Enough already. I understand this is your BF's place but he is not even in the State right now so you can go do something other than sit here waiting for him to come back.

    Oh, last night I thought I was going to get through it alone. Nope, I went to bed at midnight and when I got up this morning his bedroom door was half open and she was asleep in the bed (she lives 5 minutes away). What kind of person comes to the BF's house to sleep when he isn't there? PAST MIDNIGHT!?

    I am done venting. Solutions, suggestions, and comments are welcome.

  2. #2
    hell's angels h/q e3st ny brunop's Avatar
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    have sex with her. she wants you dude.
    ". . .a striped jersey under his jacket; bared calves (outside the bicycle track); cap pushed back; feet in a false position on the pedals; a barking horn, a disorderly appearance, an always-dry tongue, and a definite fondness for wine merchants. . ."

  3. #3
    By-Tor...or the Snow Dog? hi565's Avatar
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    Moved to Foo

    hi565
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  4. #4
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    Welcome to irrationalties of women.

    This is the exact same thing that happened when I was dating a girl back in Indiana....she lived about 3 miles away....she was always crashing at my place, eating the food, using my computer (and getting all kinds of stupid crap installed on it), etc.

    Typcial stuff, jsut get used to it.
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  5. #5
    Car(e) Free! koine2002's Avatar
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    why don't you talk it over with your roommate and/or with her. If they aren't aware of your expectations, you have no place to be mad if they're crossing your boundaries. As I say to the kids I sometimes watch with a friend (see my "oh the awkardness thread" for my fun situation there), "use your words".
    "There is hardly a man or woman who dares to be just what he or she is without doctoring up the impression." --A.W. Tozer

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Pretty soon they'll start trying to push you out the door, so they can have their privacy. Don't be surprised!

  7. #7
    explody pup
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    Sounds like she's a little clingy and misses her boyfriend.

    I agree with the above sentiment. You should have sex with her. And her sister. Then find a new place to live.

  8. #8
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    At my first place in college, my roomates girlfriend moved in with us, so we went from 3 to 4 people in a 3 bedroom place.

    I loved it, her boyfriend who was my roomate was a slob and she cleaned up after him, she contributed to the utilities, cooked food, and even did my dishes sometimes (although I told her she didn't ahve to).

    If she cleans up after you, doesn't make a mess, or raise the cost of utilities like watching endless tv or leaving the AC on constantly, I don't see why it would be a problem, unless you were sharing a room.
    Quote Originally Posted by SingingSabre View Post
    Cheating: a symptom of the problem.

  9. #9
    Beauty Everywhere snowy's Avatar
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    Hey both boys and girls can be like this. Why don't you just talk to your roomie and find out if the situation has changed in the house and if it has is she going to pay her way as well. This could be good for you, cause it could lower you rent and other bills. You could always ask her too before your roomie gets home but BE NICE. You don't want her telling him that your being a jerk. Good luck
    "RIDE FAST TAKE CHANCES!"

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  10. #10
    explody pup
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    Nailing your boss's daugher jokes aside:

    What's the problem? Is she eating all your food? Hogging the Playstation? Farting a lot? Leaving the seat down? Not letting you walk around base-ass naked? Do you just not get along with her?

    If she's just hanging out, then my humble advice would be to get over it. Be happy that you have someone else around to look at and talk to other than your ugly ass roommate...

    Oh, and is her sister hot?

  11. #11
    staring at the mountains superdex's Avatar
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    it feels like your space is invaded. Talk to your roommate, ask him straight up if he's cool with her being there (so often) when he's not. Then let them sort it out. Or start looking for a place. He may be totally freaked that she's there, and decorating --just too chickensht to say anything. If that's the case, be his henchman, and btch her out. Especially after a night of tequila.

    Er something.

    Talk to your roommate before saying anything to her. Find out the scoop first before you go ballistic. Or so's I thinks....

  12. #12
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    I agree with you!
    when you share a place with someone you agree on a financial arrangement and you consider if you can actually be compatible to live in the same place! when you agreed to that, you didnt agree to share your private place with his gf and gf's sister or mother or whoever else she is gonna bring over! I totally agree with you! take her decorations down and start putting up crap that she would be embaressed to see or show her friends, put up all kind of playboy pictures and anything corny or slighly deranged you can get your hands on!

  13. #13
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Oh, and is her sister hot?

  14. #14
    riding once again jschen's Avatar
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    When my friend and I (along with two other guys) lived together one summer, his girlfriend at one point started being at our place a lot because she and her roommates weren't getting along. He and she were both good friends of mine, but I was a bit sick of accomodating her after a while.

    With no air conditioning, the four of us often went about in our underwear when no females were around. So one day, I decided I had had enough of her visits, and I would no longer put on any extra clothing when she visited. Being a non-confrontational bunch, the others never questioned my decision, and I never said anything about my sudden change in attire (or lack thereof). It didn't get rid of her, but not having to alter my living arrangement for her did help make the situation more tolerable.

    One morning, she was in the shower when I wanted to use the bathroom to get ready for work. There was no locking mechanism on the door, and I seriously considered just using the bathroom anyway (something we felt free to do if another guy was in the shower) and just treating her as if she were one of the guys (not staring, just going in there, doing my business, and getting out). The gentleman in me decided that despite my annoyance at the situation, I should afford her some privacy, so I waited outside the bathroom door. She did seem genuinely sorry that she had inconvenienced me (and there was no way she would have known that on that day, I would choose to wake up at 5:30 AM) as she apologized, so I didn't say anything about it. (I didn't say anything aside from a curt "good morning". Just walked into the bathroom after she walked out.)

    By the way, years later, my friend (now my best friend) told me he remembered all that, but he thought I was just being a slob. She (now his wife) remembers, too, but she just accepted his assessment that I was just being a slob. I guess I should have been more direct about wanting her to not be around so much. Oh well, whatever... seven years later, how much she was or wasn't around that summer really is a trivial matter.
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  15. #15
    Lex
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    Quote Originally Posted by catatonic
    Welcome to irrationalties of women.

    This is the exact same thing that happened when I was dating a girl back in Indiana....she lived about 3 miles away....she was always crashing at my place, eating the food, using my computer (and getting all kinds of stupid crap installed on it), etc.

    Typcial stuff, jsut get used to it.

    Don't blame this on women! It's not typical. She should not be there AT ALL when he's not there unless he's getting there within the next few minutes. It's your space too. Make clear to him that you don't mind her there when he is but find it creepy that she's there a lot when he's out of town. You're not dating her so she shouldn't be inflicting herself on your prime walking around in your underwear time.
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  16. #16
    riding once again jschen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lex
    You're not dating her so she shouldn't be inflicting herself on your prime walking around in your underwear time.
    Exactly... so just keep walking around in your underwear.
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  17. #17
    staring at the mountains superdex's Avatar
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    or no underwear. Skeeve her out of the apartment.


    No underwear, a banana, and an issue of Dog Fancy should do the trick....

  18. #18
    Mooninite shakeNbake's Avatar
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    Same thing happened a few years back. My roommate went to some dig in S. America (Anthro major) for about a month. His GF started hanging around the apartment and third wheeling me & my GF.

    I don't mind though, she walks around the place wearing skimpy clothes.

  19. #19
    Senior Member juliebeanpie's Avatar
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    She's lonely, she misses him, she's there nesting until he gets back. She's sleeping in his bed because it smells like him, and it comforts her. Sigh.

    When you rented the place, it did not include her, so the terms have changed of the rental agreement (as you understood it) have changed. She must be young (or stupid) to not realize she is invading your space. If I were you, I'd be pissed too. You need to talk to your roommate when he comes home, and let him know you weren't interested in sharing a place with his gf when you rented in the beginning, and you still aren't.

  20. #20
    Tom (ex)Builder twahl's Avatar
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    A lot depends on whether you are sharing the place with your room mate or whether you are renting a room from him. If you went in together and rented (or bought) the place, your name is on the lease or whatever, then you have every right to talk to him about his girl being there. If you are paying him rent for a room with common access, then you have nothing to say about it.
    Tom

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  21. #21
    Banned.
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    I think what everyone is trying to ask, is.......is she HAWT? Or are her friends HAWT? Look, don't go getting pissy until you are sure that there isn't something in it for you. I mean, if you are sorta a dork, sometimes chicks like this can go a ways in hooking you up, despite the fact that you are ugly, etc.

    So don't act too quickly. Be certain that there isn't going to be a good outcome to these messes regardless of what you do. That is why it is best to "get something" out of the situation. It is all going South anyway.

    1. Confront your friend, and he gets pissed and tells you he is moving out, or tells you to move out. Worse yet, he kicks your ass and drinks all yer beer.

    2. You nail the girlfriend. You get some action and likely get your ass kicked. Just make sure you are drunk when you get your ass kicked. It doesn't hurt as bad. (trust me on this one)

    3. You find a new girlfriend thru the squatting gf. Your gf starts to hang around all the time, then they start to cat fight. Then the guys get pulled in and everybody hates everybody.

    4. You keep quiet all locked up in your room playing space invaders. (pun intended) The chick eats all yer pringles and leaves feminine hygiene products strewn about your toilet area.

    Now, you see all yer options. Pick your favorite and have some fun!!!!!!!!!

  22. #22
    I'm fine. Cromulent's Avatar
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    She's kicking you out. She may be doing it deliberately, she may be doing it subconsciously. Like you said, she's nice enough. But she's at a point in their relationship where you're taking up what is now her space.

    Start looking for a new place.

  23. #23
    Lex
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cromulent
    She's kicking you out. She may be doing it deliberately, she may be doing it subconsciously. Like you said, she's nice enough. But she's at a point in their relationship where you're taking up what is now her space.

    Start looking for a new place.

    I wondered about this when I first read your post and it's a good point - where is their relationship? Is she trying to edge you out and work her way in?

    Btw....if she's there to nest and sleep in his bed for his scent you may not want to mess with her because if you do she might set fire to your bed or set your pets boiling on the stove. Back away and call apartment search.
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  24. #24
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superdex
    Skeeve her out of the apartment.

    No underwear, a banana, and an issue of Dog Fancy should do the trick....
    My next door neighbor, Steve, in college hated his roommates girlfriend, and she was there 24-7 as soon as she had a key. She was of the popular, prom queen verity, and Steve was a D&D playing math major. He just geeked her out of the apt. A week long gaming session where period costumes and accents were highly encouraged did the trick. 'cept after that she would knock on my door and ask if she could hang out in my living room until her BF came home. I just never gave her a key.

    --A

  25. #25
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    Wow. This reminds me somewhat of my own bad situation in college one summer when I had to move out of my house due to a scary scene and into my boyfriend's. Some differences:

    1) I paid my share of rent & utilities.
    2) I totally cleaned their house from top to bottom before the 4 guys had all their relatives in town for graduation.
    3) I often cooked dinner.
    4) I decorated nothing but my boyfriend's bedroom.
    5) We discussed all this ahead of time and they were ok with it.

    I share this hoping it will inspire topic for conversation with your housemate about his girlfriend.

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