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  1. #1
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    Serious relationship adivice (Again)

    Well, there is this girl I recently started to have feelings for, and she may have them back. I am not quite sure, but chances are decent. She is very pretty, smart and funny. Pretty much all I look for.

    Anywho, I am looking for a way to ask her if we can be more then freinds. I hung out with her all day today, and I after we were done hanging out...all I could think about was her.

    Would a kiss spark a relationship? Or what should I do (or say) to be more then freinds?


    I'd apreciate any advice, it would be really cool

  2. #2
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    Don't ask, take action and make the moves. Chics respond to that a lot more favorably than guys fumbling around and stuttering... "... uh. umm... ah...".

    1. First, set the context for the moves, the situation has to be right or else she won't go for it. That is... she has to be "attracted" to you first, then you make that kiss, or else it'll feel weird to her and she'll just want to be "friends". So.. how to turn on the attraction? Be the man, chics dig guys who are funny, confident, sure of themselves, challenging, attentive and responsive, etc. So... keep on hanging out with her, but have the attitude like she's your bratty little sister. You're doing HER a favor by hanging out with her. Tease her, joke around, make her laugh. Then take it away, don't talk to her for 2-3 days, make her beg for more. Every once in a while, lock eyes with her a fraction of a second longer than normal... etc.

    2. Find out what she wants, talk fantasies with her about her ideal life, her ideal mate, dreams, desires, etc. Have her close her eyes and imagine the future, what does it look like, etc. Be honest with yourself as to whether you can give her what she wants in a relationship. If not, don't bother, you'll be doing her and yourself a disservice if it's not a compatible match. Again, this process will turn up the "attraction" as she'd be dreaming about her fantasies and when she opens her eyes, she'll be seeing you right in front of her. Pull away for a couple days, make sure your life is in order and things are taken care of like school, grades, bills, work, etc.

    3. Test the waters. It's a dance, two steps forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back, etc. Chics don't like guys that come on too strong... they like to be teased, have the heat turned up slowly until they're baking and can't resist any more. Go play, shopping, watch movies, ride bikes, but make it count. Find something that's really unique and wonderful about her and compliment her on it (look up why that's different than flattery). Then take a step back.. Hold her hands while crossing the street or walking through a crowd.. hang onto it a little too long... then throw it off... , look at your hand like she put grease on it, wipe it off on your shirt, smirk at her... (one step back) Do it again later, she'll probalby hang on longer herself... two steps forward, one step back, etc.. back and forth, back and forth, etc...

    4. To do the 1st kiss, chics always seem to want it to be a surprize, yet ultimately perfect as well. So you set up the situtation, someplace quiet, intimate, but not too suffocatingly close. Quiet dark corner of bar, cozy couch, etc. The right foods, the right music, wine/champagne/etc. Test her readiness by reaching out and stroking her hair near and little lower than her ears (she knows what that means, at least subconciously). See how she responds (don't pat her on the head, that's for dogs ). If she brushes your hand off, it's not a "no", but more of a "I'm not ready yet", take a step back, get more intimacy first. Rapport is just as important as humor. You know you've got it when she says, "Yeah, that's exactly how I feel", it could even be about breakfast cereals; you want to make that connection. You might even need to take two steps back and continue another day. Look up fishing metaphors...

    Go back to stroking her hair, testing for readiness. She'll respond with her eyes, her jaw jutting towards you, her lips parting ever so moistly, she may cock her head sideways a little and rest it on your hand. Caress her soft cheek just ahead of her ear with your thumb. Stroke it ever so lightly and run your fingers below her ear and run it through her hair behind it. Cup the back of her head in your and and massage the back of her neck lightly with your fingers. "Hmmm..." she closes her eyes and smiles and she gives you THE LOOK! YES! We're going in! Gently and tentatively pull her head towards you as you move closer, don't be scared or she'll pick it up and the moment will be ruined. You need to have that confident at all times...

    If she's a flayer, you need to keep her on her toes. When you're 2-3 inches away, pause, look into her eyes, see her anticipation, her uncertainty, her anxiety, her burning desire. Then turn away with smirk, a little snicker, and motion to the bartender for a drink... look back at her with a knowing grin... heh, heh (two steps foward, one step back...)

    There's a reason chics dig guys who can dance, who has rhythm, who knows how to feel a woman's body, to sense where she's at, what she wants, who knows how to lead her, how to respond to her response to his lead, someone who's flexible and resourceful, who can read her feelings and intentions, etc. Go back to chit-chat, build more rapport and intimacy, each time you pull back and pull in, pull back, pull forward, you'll draw her deeper, closer, it's that "connectedness" feeling that they so desire. Finally, put her out of her misery and kiss her already! Although most of the time by this point, they'll have thrown themselves at you anyway.

    Good luck & have fun!
    Last edited by Mothra; 08-03-06 at 03:32 AM.

  3. #3
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
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    Slip her the tounge.

    You need to be direct with us. Don't go beating around the bush with chocolate, flowers, expensive dinners hoping to get a piece. Our time is just as valuable as yours. Answer me this... would you rather take five hours or five months to fing out what the other person wanted and was willing to give to a relationship.

  4. #4
    explody pup
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    "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

    or

    Pull out your crank. You'll know pretty quick if she's game or not.

  5. #5
    Marathon Cyclist MediaCreations's Avatar
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    My advice? Don't ask for serious relationship advice on a cycling forum.

  6. #6
    explody pup
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    Write her a poem about how beautiful she looks when you're watching her through her bedroom window at night...

  7. #7
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    Sneak into her apartment, and be on the couch, poised in a lounging position, with a blue ribbon tied around your stuff, and nothing else on.

    If she calls the cops, it was never meant to be.
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  8. #8
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Pull out your crank. You'll know pretty quick if she's game or not.
    Double, triple, or compact? Just make sure you don't get the chain caught in the front derailleur like that guy in "There's Something About Mary." "We got a bleeder!!!"


    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Write her a poem about how beautiful she looks when you're watching her through her bedroom window at night...
    That's just romantic right there.

  9. #9
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by catatonic
    Sneak into her apartment, and be on the couch, poised in a lounging position, with a blue ribbon tied around your stuff, and nothing else on.

    If she calls the cops, it was never meant to be.
    Or, instead of the ribbon, dress up in her clothes and put on her makeup. When she gets home start crying about how perfect she is and that you wish you could be her. Then note the above statement about the cops.

  10. #10
    Marathon Cyclist MediaCreations's Avatar
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    By now you may be beginning to understand my earlier advice.

  11. #11
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    Go rent "Just Friends" (looks like a stupid movie, but it's really funny) so you can see that you are already in the friend zone and how to get out of that position. Maybe you should ask her over to watch it with you then joke with her about how to get out of the friend zone.

  12. #12
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97
    That's just romantic right there.
    I'm glad somebody thinks so. I think the idea of romance is dieing a slow death these days. I mean, how can I express my undieing love for a woman when, legally, I can't even come within 100 yards of her?

  13. #13
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    I'm glad somebody thinks so. I think the idea of romance is dieing a slow death these days. I mean, how can I express my undieing love for a woman when, legally, I can't even come within 100 yards of her?
    Hey, it worked for Romeo in that Shakespeare play, and chicks have been swooning over that scene for 5 centuries now.

  14. #14
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiRider
    Go rent "Just Friends" (looks like a stupid movie, but it's really funny) so you can see that you are already in the friend zone and how to get out of that position. Maybe you should ask her over to watch it with you then joke with her about how to get out of the friend zone.
    Or just ask her out on a date. No pretext. No beating around the bush. Ask her out on a date and make it very clear that you asking her out on a date. Not just hanging out. A DATE.

    If she says Yes - Good.

    If she says No - Find someone else to ask out on a date.

    Yes. It is that easy.
    Last edited by explody pup; 08-03-06 at 08:15 AM.

  15. #15
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97
    Hey, it worked for Romeo in that Shakespeare play, and chicks have been swooning over that scene for 5 centuries now.
    Hell yeah. Romeo had game. He even murdered Juliet's cousin and she still wanted to nail him!

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by MediaCreations
    My advice? Don't ask for serious relationship advice on a cycling forum.
    True, the running forums is way more accurate and dependable.

  17. #17
    mac
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    Quote Originally Posted by MetalHead90
    Anywho, I am looking for a way to ask her if we can be more then freinds. ... Or what should I do (or say) to be more then freinds?
    #1 - There's no such thing as being friends with a girl you are attracted to. It doesn't work.

    #2 - With that in mind, just tell her you'd like to be more than just friends. If she says no, then stop hanging out with her because you are obviously thinking about her too much.

  18. #18
    Lex
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    Real women aren't into wishy-washy. Ask her out and tell her that you're interested in exploring a more serious relationship and is she into that?
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  19. #19
    explody pup
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    Also make sure you mention you're interested in exploring other things as well and is she into that? Then pull out a tube of KY.

  20. #20
    Lex
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Also make sure you mention you're interested in exploring other things as well and is she into that? Then pull out a tube of KY.
    Hey, whatever you're looking for.
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  21. #21
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Also make sure you mention you're interested in exploring other things as well and is she into that? Then pull out a tube of KY.
    A tube of Kentucky? What's that?





  22. #22
    Lex
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97
    A tube of Kentucky? What's that?




    The 10 secret herbs and spices in a comforting blend that makes everything seems not quite so creepy. LOL
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  23. #23
    explody pup
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  24. #24
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Ahh... THAT kind of KY lubricant.... okay.... I understand now. That stuff burns a little going down, but good for a mint julep....


    OP.... alcohol will help you be more direct with your feelings. It's a proven fact.

  25. #25
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
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    here's what you do:

    drive her up to make-out point, saying that you want "to show her something". when you guys are standing there looking down at the lights, put your school lettermen's jacket on her. she'll move closer. then pretend to "yawn" and stretch your arms, but instead of putting them back by your side, put one around her shoulder. tell her that you think she's swell and ask if she'd like to go with you to the big school dance. don't kiss her yet!! after you drop her off in your chevy convertable you should recieve a small kiss in return for your actions and she'll giddily run into the house and call her best friend to swoon over you. now, you got yourself a girlfriend! i saw it in a movie once and i think it should work. just watch out for the rival gang at school. those guys could mess you up if you're not careful.

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