Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 53

Thread: Funny questions

  1. #1
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    4,926
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Funny questions

    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


    Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?

  2. #2
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    In the 212
    My Bikes
    Haro Vector, IRO Rob Roy, Bianchi Veloce
    Posts
    8,757
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Love may be blind, but lust isn't.

    It's like the movie "Plan 9 from Outer Space". Preparations A-G failed.

    A fool and his money are soon parted.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Michigander's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    My Bikes
    Giant ATX 1200, Schwinn Peleton
    Posts
    1,727
    Mentioned
    10 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I don't know about the first two, but for the record, in my 20 years on the planet, I have yet to buy a single bottle of water.
    Bring back the Sig Test!


    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")

  4. #4
    Lex
    Lex is offline
    Cheer****** of Doom Lex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    The Secret Land of Goth Powerpuff Girls....
    Posts
    515
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Evian tastes exactly like the tap water in Grafton, Ohio - just saying.
    "I'm starting to have grave doubts about this thing I barely liked in the first place." Homer Simpson

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    4,926
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

  6. #6
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    In the 212
    My Bikes
    Haro Vector, IRO Rob Roy, Bianchi Veloce
    Posts
    8,757
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's covered w/ white snow?
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  7. #7
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    609
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Why do we drive on something called a parkway and park in something called a garage?

    . . . wait, I think I got that wrong.
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  8. #8
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
    My Bikes
    Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
    Posts
    3,928
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by SaabFan
    Why do we drive on something called a parkway and park in something called a garage?

    . . . wait, I think I got that wrong.
    I think you meant....

    Why do we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  9. #9
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
    My Bikes
    Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
    Posts
    3,928
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Another Steven Wrightism....


    What's another word for thesauras?
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  10. #10
    Chicken farmer! Eboo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Palmyra, NY
    Posts
    45
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite
    I think you meant....

    Why do we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway.
    WHOA! Yeah, why is that??

    /boggle
    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Will they be snackrificed on a roll of sourdough?

  11. #11
    staring at the mountains superdex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Denver, CO
    My Bikes
    1x9 mtb commuter, Blue Racing Ac4AL w/Record
    Posts
    3,407
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Gotta love the Stephen Wrightisms, my favorite:

    If most car accidents are within five miles of home, why don't people move?

  12. #12
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    609
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I think you meant....
    Yeah, it was a joke.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eboo
    WHOA! Yeah, why is that??
    I dunno, I couldn't even get the question right!

    Why aren't self-addressed envelopes simply marked "Envelope?"
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  13. #13
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    609
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    If Snoop Dog and Whinnie the Pooh got married, would they hyphenate their childrens' last name as "Dogg-Pooh?"
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  14. #14
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    St. Petersburg, FL
    My Bikes
    2004 Raleigh Talus, 2001 Motobecane Vent Noir (Custom build for heavy riders)
    Posts
    5,825
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Why is a package delivered by car a shipment, but when delivered by a ship it's called cargo?
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  15. #15
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    609
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I do all my shipping by carrier pigeon or train, to avoid that very conundrum.
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  16. #16
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
    My Bikes
    Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
    Posts
    3,928
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    More Steven Wrightisms....

    OK, so what's the speed of dark?

    How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

    If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

    Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
    So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

    Big list of Steven Wright Quotes: http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  17. #17
    . bbattle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Huntsville, Alabama
    My Bikes
    2014 Trek Domane 5.2, 1985 Pinarello Trevisio, 1991 Colnago Master, '06 Bianchi San Jose, 1987 Moulton Fuso, '80's Gardin Shred?, '82 John Howard(Dave Tesch)
    Posts
    11,619
    Mentioned
    5 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by jyossarian
    Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's covered w/ white snow?

    When the Vikings discovered it, Greenland was green. They raised cattle and sheep there a thousand years ago.



    Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

    Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

    Why do those who believe in predetermination look both ways before crossing the road?

  18. #18
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,082
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    I like it when you tell someone you are going to a funeral and they ask "Did someone die?"

    I used to work for a company called "Lavon Boat Rental". It was on Lake Lavon. People would call us and ask "Do you rent boats?"
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  19. #19
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    4,926
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    who's the cruel one who put a "s" in the word lisp

  20. #20
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Eastside Seattlite Termite Mound
    My Bikes
    Trek 520, Trek Navigator 300, Peugeot Versailles PE10DE
    Posts
    3,928
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    who's the cruel one who put a "s" in the word lisp
    That's a good one!!
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  21. #21
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
    My Bikes
    '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
    Posts
    6,082
    Mentioned
    11 Post(s)
    Tagged
    3 Thread(s)
    Why do men have nipples?
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  22. #22
    Live to Race DuathMAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by jyossarian
    Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's covered w/ white snow?
    Sorry to get real on this one, but global weather shifts have been cited as the cause of the name confusion. Apparently way back, the Vikings who settled Greenland were wiped out when the weather pattern changed over the course of 2 or 300 hundred years but the name of the area was already decided. Same goes for IceLand. OK back to the fun......

  23. #23
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    15
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
    If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


    Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
    IMO, nookie is much more tactile than visual. Would you rather have somebody touching you or looking at you during the throes of love?

  24. #24
    Non Tribuo Anus Rodentum and off to the next adventure (RIP) Stacey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    9,163
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Why aren't funerals very fun?

  25. #25
    Live to Race DuathMAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    0
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Why can people who qualify for Earned Income credit on Income Taxes get back more money then they paid? Its not really 'income tax' then is it? Its a bonus.....

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •