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Old 08-09-06, 07:41 AM   #1
blonduathlongrl
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Funny questions

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
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Old 08-09-06, 07:52 AM   #2
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Love may be blind, but lust isn't.

It's like the movie "Plan 9 from Outer Space". Preparations A-G failed.

A fool and his money are soon parted.
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We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!
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Old 08-09-06, 07:52 AM   #3
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I don't know about the first two, but for the record, in my 20 years on the planet, I have yet to buy a single bottle of water.
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Old 08-09-06, 07:55 AM   #4
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Evian tastes exactly like the tap water in Grafton, Ohio - just saying.
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Old 08-09-06, 08:02 AM   #5
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How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
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Old 08-09-06, 08:36 AM   #6
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Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's covered w/ white snow?
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Old 08-09-06, 08:40 AM   #7
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Why do we drive on something called a parkway and park in something called a garage?

. . . wait, I think I got that wrong.
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Old 08-09-06, 08:43 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by SaabFan
Why do we drive on something called a parkway and park in something called a garage?

. . . wait, I think I got that wrong.
I think you meant....

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway.
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-09-06, 08:44 AM   #9
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Another Steven Wrightism....


What's another word for thesauras?
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-09-06, 08:45 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KingTermite
I think you meant....

Why do we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway.
WHOA! Yeah, why is that??

/boggle
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Old 08-09-06, 08:52 AM   #11
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Gotta love the Stephen Wrightisms, my favorite:

If most car accidents are within five miles of home, why don't people move?
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Old 08-09-06, 08:57 AM   #12
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Quote:
I think you meant....
Yeah, it was a joke.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eboo
WHOA! Yeah, why is that??
I dunno, I couldn't even get the question right!

Why aren't self-addressed envelopes simply marked "Envelope?"
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Old 08-09-06, 08:59 AM   #13
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If Snoop Dog and Whinnie the Pooh got married, would they hyphenate their childrens' last name as "Dogg-Pooh?"
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Old 08-09-06, 09:00 AM   #14
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Why is a package delivered by car a shipment, but when delivered by a ship it's called cargo?
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Old 08-09-06, 09:01 AM   #15
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I do all my shipping by carrier pigeon or train, to avoid that very conundrum.
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Old 08-09-06, 09:18 AM   #16
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More Steven Wrightisms....

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"

Big list of Steven Wright Quotes: http://www.weather.net/zarg/ZarPages/stevenWright.html
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-09-06, 09:22 AM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jyossarian
Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's covered w/ white snow?

When the Vikings discovered it, Greenland was green. They raised cattle and sheep there a thousand years ago.



Why do we drive on the parkway and park on the driveway?

Why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

Why do those who believe in predetermination look both ways before crossing the road?
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Old 08-09-06, 09:23 AM   #18
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I like it when you tell someone you are going to a funeral and they ask "Did someone die?"

I used to work for a company called "Lavon Boat Rental". It was on Lake Lavon. People would call us and ask "Do you rent boats?"
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-09-06, 09:30 AM   #19
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who's the cruel one who put a "s" in the word lisp
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Old 08-09-06, 09:33 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
who's the cruel one who put a "s" in the word lisp
That's a good one!!
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 08-09-06, 09:36 AM   #21
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Why do men have nipples?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-09-06, 09:36 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jyossarian
Why is Greenland called Greenland when it's covered w/ white snow?
Sorry to get real on this one, but global weather shifts have been cited as the cause of the name confusion. Apparently way back, the Vikings who settled Greenland were wiped out when the weather pattern changed over the course of 2 or 300 hundred years but the name of the area was already decided. Same goes for IceLand. OK back to the fun......
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Old 08-09-06, 09:38 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blonduathlongrl
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


Do people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water know that spelling it backwards is Naive?
IMO, nookie is much more tactile than visual. Would you rather have somebody touching you or looking at you during the throes of love?
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Old 08-09-06, 09:43 AM   #24
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Why aren't funerals very fun?
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Old 08-09-06, 09:46 AM   #25
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Why can people who qualify for Earned Income credit on Income Taxes get back more money then they paid? Its not really 'income tax' then is it? Its a bonus.....
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