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  1. #1
    Chicken farmer! Eboo's Avatar
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    Ninjas vs. Pirates

    Discuss.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Will they be snackrificed on a roll of sourdough?

  2. #2
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    We all know that Ninjas have REAL ULTIMATE POWER
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  3. #3
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    That said, someday I'd like to be a pirate. Maybe I could be a ninja pirate. Then instead of yelling "AAAAAarrrrrrrrr" when I jumped aboard the enemy ship, I wouldn't yell at all, and climb into their cargo hold, steal their precious plunder, kill the captain with a few deft movements of my left thumb, and sneak off into the night. No one would be the wiser.
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  4. #4
    antisocialite dirtyphotons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaabFan
    That said, someday I'd like to be a pirate.
    it is pretty sweet. hit us up if you're ever in the dc area.

  5. #5
    Studs Terkel Johnny_Monkey's Avatar
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    Shouldn't this thread be in the Fixie forum?

  6. #6
    explody pup
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    Depends on context.

    Hand to hand, the ninja will always win, regardless of how dirty, cut-throaty, and viscious a pirate is. A pirate hasn't devoted his life to perfecting his art. He gets drunk and steals stuff, not that there's anything wrong with that.

    When weapons are involved, the pirate gains some advantage. I'm assuming we're talking about the classic, shiver me timbers pirate. If that is the case, he'll have a single shot ****** or musket in addition to a sword (if we're talking about modern pirates w/ machine guns, game over for ninja). If the pirate can get the shot off, accurately, he'll stand a chance of comming out alive. But those pistols aren't the most accurate and the pirate is likely drunk. If he misses, he's worm food.

    On the water w/ a full-scale boarding of another vessel... well, if a panther falls in a pirana-infested river, no matter how sleek and powerful the panther may be, he won't stand a chance.

  7. #7
    antisocialite dirtyphotons's Avatar
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  8. #8
    explody pup
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    Oh, and to answer a question you didn't ask... zombies win. Always.

  9. #9
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    What about in a hot dog eating contest? I bet the pirate has more experience pigging out, but the Ninja would probably be able to move his hands so fast, he could hide all the hot dogs on his plate in his Ninja garb without anyone noticing.
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  10. #10
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    Pirates FTW. YAARRRRRRR FOO MATEYS!!!!!!!
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  11. #11
    Chicken farmer! Eboo's Avatar
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    Ninja Pirate? How about a Ninja Wizard? (This is for any LOTR fans) Watch in order...

    One
    Two
    Three
    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Will they be snackrificed on a roll of sourdough?

  12. #12
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirtyphotons
    That's misleading, because the whole point of being a Ninja is to be able to sneak around without anyone knowing. So, of course, a large percentage of the expoits of Ninjas aren't ever attributed to them, hence not showing up in a Google search.

    When a pirate sinks your ship, you're like "Damn you pirates! I hate you!" When a Ninja runs off with your left sock, you're like "huh, where's my left sock?"
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  13. #13
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    what we need are pirate gnomes. Everyone knows that lawn gnomes are a force to be reckoned with, so let's see what a gnome pirate hybrid can do.
    -------- __@
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    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  14. #14
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eboo
    Ninja Pirate? How about a Ninja Wizard? (This is for any LOTR fans) Watch in order...

    One
    Two
    Three
    Classic! I've seen the first one a million times but never the second two!
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  15. #15
    The AVatar Ninja SaabFan's Avatar
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    Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: FISH!

  16. #16
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny_Monkey
    Shouldn't this thread be in the Fixie forum?
    +1 It was discussed at length in the fixie forum.

    BTW, 40 midgets FTW!
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  17. #17
    Resident Old Fart Olebiker's Avatar
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    How about Ninja Lite? Lauren, where are you?
    Wag more, bark less

  18. #18
    \||||||/ ZachS's Avatar
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    wasn't this **** already over in 2002?

  19. #19
    Chairman of the Bored catatonic's Avatar
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    No, it's never over....ninjas vs pirates is the discussion that keeps on giving.
    -------- __@
    ----- _`\<,_
    ---- (*)/ (*)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Ring Ring, Ring Ring, the bell went Ring Ring Ring.

  20. #20
    antisocialite dirtyphotons's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZachS
    wasn't this **** already over in 2002?
    over like track bikes?

  21. #21
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eboo
    Ninja Pirate? How about a Ninja Wizard? (This is for any LOTR fans) Watch in order...

    One
    Two
    Three

    I've seen the first one before, but not the 2nd two.



    That said....I think Pirates would be more fun than Ninjas. Cool things to say.....being on a ship...having pirate wenches in the "special" ports, drinking all the time, etc....
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  22. #22
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Pirates rule. Do not even have to attempt stealth or spend years learning to flip out. Get to hang out in pubs with wenches, yell AARRRRRGGGGHHH, and best of all, get to go sailing. Plus pirates can be good or nice, like Captain Feathersword. My two year old loves Captain Feathersword.

    Ninjas have to sneak around everywhere and then flip out. Seems it would be awful hard to go from stealth mode to insane full tilt boogie flip out with out pulling a hammie or something.

    Pirates can be fat and sweaty, like me. Ninjas tend to be small and lithe, of which I am neither.

    Pirates drink grog, or rum, or ale, or beer. Not sure what Ninjas drink, but if it is sake, then score another point for pirates.

    Pirates work for themselves. Ninjas have to take orders from a warlord or somesuch.

    Do not know how a rational being could even consider the two occupations to be on the same level.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  23. #23
    Chicken farmer! Eboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZachS
    wasn't this **** already over in 2002?
    A thousand pardons. You must feel very secure in knowing that neither ninja nor pirate will be climbing into your bedroom window tonight. I remember that bloody, bloody day...July 13, 2002. The great Ninja/Pirate Massacre. I still have nightmares. They say none survived...for the fate of BF, nay, the world...I hope they're right.
    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Will they be snackrificed on a roll of sourdough?

  24. #24
    explody pup
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr
    Pirates work for themselves. Ninjas have to take orders from a warlord or somesuch.
    Say what? You cross the Cap'n, your ass is getting keel-hauled!

  25. #25
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by explody pup
    Say what? You cross the Cap'n, your ass is getting keel-hauled!
    In my world, all pirates are captains, or at least my scurvy arse is a captain. I do not recall seeing any Warlord Ninjas. Heck, even if you are just a deck level pirate at least you have something to aspire too. Get to trade in your headscarf and shoes with buckles (assuming you are a shoe wearing pirate) for a tri corner hat with a plume and some hip, hip boots.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

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